Real Vampires Hate Their Thighs (14 page)

Monsters chased me through dark streets until I was cornered. Their giant teeth tore at my clothes, ripping them away from my body. No, not monsters. Men, with deliciously long fangs that teased every inch of my naked flesh. I writhed beneath them, begging them to take me. But they just played with me, spreading my legs, yet never entering me. There were three—no, four—of them. Blade came out of the darkness and hurled himself at the men, slashing at them with his broadsword. But he couldn’t fight them all and he disappeared in a shower of red.

“No! Come back for me. Don’t leave me here!”

“Glory! Wake up, Glory. What the hell?”

I felt hands on my back and struggled, fighting to keep from being taken. “I won’t. You can’t make me!” I pushed and was free. Eyes wide, I sat up and looked around for which way to run.

I was in bed, in the hotel. And Ray was across the room, rubbing the back of his head because I must have thrown him there, where he’d landed against a dresser. Valdez was showing all his teeth and looked like he was about to tear into Ray.

“No, stop! I don’t—” I looked down and realized I was naked. I pulled up the sheet. “Valdez, don’t hurt Ray. He didn’t do anything.”

“Then how do you explain what I just heard?”
Valdez planted himself firmly between Ray and me, his teeth still showing and scary as hell.
“You were screaming for help, Glory.”

“I—I was having a nightmare.” I shook my head. “Yes, I guess that was it. For the first time since I was turned vampire, I was having a nightmare.”

“Damn, Glory. You scared the hell out of me.” Ray stood, staying out of Valdez’s reach. “Valdez, you heard her. She’s okay. I was trying to wake her up.”

“I didn’t do it. When I woke up, she was like that. Screaming and crawling all over the bed. I guess she tore her gown off during the dream.” Ray didn’t smile. “I don’t dream. I didn’t think vamps ever dreamed.”

“They don’t. Never. Didn’t you hear me? This is the first dream, bad or good, I’ve had in four hundred years!” I was shaking. I wanted to throw up, and vamps rarely do that either. We don’t exactly fill our stomachs, you know. I pulled up the sheet and wiped my face. I’d been crying in my sleep and sweating too. The sheet was damp.

“It must have been Ian’s brew. The herbs must’ve caused it.” Ray walked into the bathroom and came out with a wet washcloth and a towel. “Wash your face. You look like hell.”

“Gee, thanks. I feel like hell too.”

“You drank MacDonald’s shit last night and it did this to you?”
Valdez paced around the bed.
“That settles it. You’re not going back out there tonight. It’s not worth it. We’re telling Blade about this and we’ll let him take care of MacDonald.”

“Sorry, bud, but you don’t issue the orders around here.” I tried to smile to take the sting out of that, but couldn’t manage it. “I mean, I
am
going back out there. I
am
going to do this weight-loss thing. Now that I know what effect that particular potion has, I’ll ask Ian if I can try another one.” I saw the second bottle on the nightstand. “I’m supposed to drink this one now.”

“Wait a minute. Let’s smell it and see if it’s the same thing.” Ray opened it and sniffed. “No, smells completely different. This one is more like lemonade.” He took a sip. “Tart but tasty. The man does know how to flavor his stuff. Are you sure you want this? That last brew really did a number on you.”

“I wish you wouldn’t.”
Valdez stared at me.

“I’ve got to, V. Ian said following the program is essential and I want to lose the weight.” I held out my hand. “Besides, Ray paid a fortune for this deal. The least I can do is give it a shot.”

“Hold it. Forget the money.” Ray gave me a searching look. “You’re pale. Maybe this isn’t worth it.”

Valdez nodded.
“All right, it’s settled. Thanks, Caine, for backing me up.”

“I’m doing it. I don’t care if the whole band and Nathan back you up, V. Now, give me the bottle, Ray.” I held out my hand. Ray shrugged but passed it over. I ignored Valdez’s muttered cursing and took a swallow, then made a face. “Not as good as the other one.”

“How do you feel?”
Valdez watched me closely.

“I’m okay.” And I was. “Relax, V, Ray. So I had some bad dreams. That’s not life threatening. I can deal with that kind of side effect. And maybe Ian can give me something else that won’t affect me that way. I’ll ask him when we go out there later.” I looked down at myself covered only in a white sheet. “Now, would you guys leave and let me get dressed?”

“In a minute. I want to watch, Glory, while you finish the drink and then see if you’re okay.”
Valdez jumped up on the foot of the bed.
“Caine, get dressed. You’ve got two reporters in the living room waiting to interview you for
Rolling Stone
. Nate set it up. He’s out there too.”

“Damn, I forgot all about that.” Ray pulled a pair of jeans out of the closet. “You sure you feel okay, babe?”

“Yes, I’m fine.” I put my hand over my stomach. Okay, so there’d been a gurgle, but nothing major. “Go, knock their socks off. Downplay our engagement since it’s temporary. Stick to your music if you can. Plug your new album. You know they’re going to love it. Nate was going to have a piano brought up. Play a couple of the new tunes for them.”

“I will.” Ray pulled on a vintage Jim Morrison T-shirt I’d bought him for Hannakuh and stopped to kiss my cheek, ignoring Valdez’s growl. “Thanks, Glory. Take care of yourself. V, maybe you should take Brittany with you when you go to MacDonald’s later. I can do all right without a paranormal guard tonight since I’ll be staying in the hotel.”

“Maybe I will.”
Valdez swung back to look at me closely.
“You’re making a face. Stomach pains? I swear to God—”

“Just a twinge. Nothing like the time with the Cheetos. Calm down. I’m going to be fine. Go face the door when Ray leaves so I can grab some clothes and get a shower.” I smiled at Ray. “Thanks, Ray. Maybe we will take Brittany. I want Ian to know we’re not pushovers.”

“Good. You need me, call my cell. Nothing is more important to me than you are, Glory.” Ray stepped into the living room and closed the door.

“He does seem to care about you. I give him credit for that.”
Valdez ambled to the door and faced it.

“Yes, he does. Nice of you to admit it.” I wrapped the sheet around me and grabbed some clothes before streaking to the bathroom. My stomach was in an uproar and I was afraid I was going to throw up. I heard the piano from the next room before I turned on the shower. Good. The more noise the better. Because I was about to toss my cookies or, more accurately, Ian’s potion, and I didn’t want Valdez to know and worry about it.

I leaned over the toilet and heaved. Oh, God. I hoped this didn’t mean I was going to stop losing weight. I sank down on the bathroom floor and waited for the nausea to pass.

“Yeah.” I leaned against the tiled wall and took shallow breaths. Steam was filling the bathroom and I closed my eyes when I thought I was going to pass out. Sure I was going to be okay. If I didn’t die first. I eyed the wooden handle of Ray’s hairbrush. Maybe I’d just fall on the pointy end and put myself out of this misery.

“Did you get the scale?” I practically attacked Nathan when I finally decided I’d live after all. The reporters had left and Ray had headed down to a conference room in the hotel to another interview. He’d taken his mortal bodyguards with him.

“Yes, and I compared it to the ones in the gym. They weigh the same.” He gestured toward the powder room next to the suite entry. “It’s in there. You said you didn’t want an audience.”

“Thanks. You’re brilliant.” I grabbed Nate and kissed him on the cheek. “But then, Harvard doesn’t take dummies, does it?”

“Not without a rich daddy. Lucky for me, Pop’s loaded.” Nate grinned. “Now you going to tell me what this is about?”

“No.” I ran into the powder room, slammed and locked the door. I was barefoot and had on the same outfit that I’d had on the night before, except for the color of the T-shirt—purely for weighing purposes, of course. I stepped on the scale. Hallelujah! Still down two and a half pounds. So the elixirs did work to counteract the healing sleep. Ian
was
a genius.

Well, sort of a genius. Surely he could make something that didn’t make me so sick. I was still queasy, but determined to head back to Ian’s in time to get there at midnight. I opened the bathroom door, almost tripping over Valdez.

“Your cell phone rang a moment ago.” Nathan handed me my phone. “I answered it. The man left a message. A limo will pick you up in front of the hotel at eleven. What’s that about?”

“I’m going back out to Malibu. Same place Ray and I went last night.” I looked around. “Where’s Brittany? Ray said we could take her with us.”

“She’ll be back in a minute. She wanted to shower and change.” Nathan looked at Valdez. “I hope both shifters got some sleep last night. It’s not a good idea for them to be on duty together. How can they be alert if they’re on twenty-four seven?”

“She—
we
slept. I told her to go to her room.”
Valdez grinned.
“But we got to talking and she fell asleep on the couch. Don’t worry. We’ll be in top form. Glory will be safe enough.”

“Can you guarantee that?” Nathan frowned. “Oh, what the hell do I know? I’m a mere mortal in this paranormal zoo. You guys blow my mind. And Ray won’t tell me anything. Flies off the balcony like it’s no big deal and never tells me where he’s going or who he’s going to see. I’ll bet Los Angeles is full of vampires who’d like a piece of Israel Caine. You guys better be careful.” He slumped on the couch. “Now the stock market’s so insane I’ve lost my faith in the mortal world too.”

I sat next to him. “Relax, Nate. We’re careful. I’ll send Brittany down to be with Ray.” My stomach gurgled and I put a hand over it. “V and I can handle Malibu on our own.”

“We won’t be on our own.”
Valdez trotted over to the door.
“Reinforcements are arriving right now. Answer the door, Glory.”

Sure enough, there was a knock. I looked through the peephole and saw Flo and Richard there. I flung open the door.

“What are you guys doing here?”

“Israel called us. Said you were fraternizing with a potentially badass vampire and might need some backup. Of course I knew who he was talking about. You went to see MacDonald, didn’t you?” Flo had dressed in black leather for the occasion. I recognized the look as her “I’m going to kick some vampire butt” outfit. Tight leather pants and a form-fitting vest over a red satin blouse made her look taller than her five feet one. The colors set off her black hair and dark, flashing eyes perfectly. The pants were tucked into thigh-high boots with silver chain embellishments on the sides. The stiletto heels would make good weapons in an emergency. Which I hoped we didn’t have.

Richard followed her inside. He was much more conservative in black jeans and a black cashmere pullover. But then, he fairly radiated lethal male power anyway. His pale eyes looked scary if you didn’t know he adored his wife and would die for his friends. I was deeply grateful he counted me as one of them.

“Wow. This is a surprise. Ray didn’t tell me.” I hugged each of them in turn. “Thanks for coming. Sure I went to see him. I signed up for his weight-loss program.”

Flo frowned. “I hope you’re not sorry. I thought Ian MacDonald gave off a strange vibe when we met him. Handsome, of course.”

“Yes, and I know what you mean. But I’m still determined to go out there again even if he does scare me a little.”

“And some of the stuff he gave her made her sick. She had bad dreams too.”
Valdez bumped Flo and got an ear rub. He loves my ex-roomie.

“I don’t like the sound of that.” Richard looked grim. “What’s this about dreams?”

“I
never
dream.” Flo gave Valdez a final pat, then moved to my side. “What were they like? Sexy?”

“Parts were, but mostly violent, terrifying. And, yes, I did get sick. Ian had two potions. One to drink before I slept and one for when I woke tonight.” I grabbed Flo’s hand. “But, Flo, I lost two and a half pounds after one session! And they stayed off after a day of healing sleep!”

“You are kidding me!” Flo’s eyes widened. She looked me up and down and turned me around. “I can see the difference. That is so worth it, Glory.”

“I know! So you can see why I have to go out there again tonight. No matter what.” I heard Valdez and Richard growl.

Nathan put some distance between himself and the other two men. “I think that’s my cue to get the hell out of here. I’ll go down to Brittany’s room and tell her to stick with Ray tonight. And I’ll do the same. He’s got some important interviews lined up. Publicity for his new album.” He stopped next to the door. “But, Glory, you call him if you need even more reinforcements. I know he and Brittany would want to be there.”

“Thanks, Nate.” I smiled gratefully. It was nice to have so many loyal friends.

Flo shook my arm. “Tell me more about this Ian’s plan. What else did you do to lose so much weight so fast?”

“I drank from a mortal runner.” I made a face. “You know how I am about taking advantage . . .”

“Don’t be silly. I’m sure the mortal was honored to serve you.” Florence figures anyone who isn’t a vampire wishes he was one. A mortal is lucky to be a donor. Yeah, she’s got something of a superiority complex, but I love her anyway.

“Well, yes, that’s the way she saw it. Anyway, I’m to be there at midnight to drink from her again, right after she’s done another run. That’s when the feeding is most effective.”

“Seems like you wouldn’t have to depend on MacDonald for that.” Richard shoved his hands in his pockets. “So why go out there again? Especially if he scares you.”

“You know the effects of drinking won’t last through a healing sleep. Not without the supplements Ian provides.” I walked into the bedroom and brought out the two bottles. I still felt weak, which was weird. I mean, vamps are
never
weak. And just looking at the empties made my stomach roll again. “Here. Smell what was in these.”