Reason to Breathe (53 page)

“That would be wonderful,” she acknowledged
with a smile. “Evan, have you narrowed down your selections
yet?”

“Mom, let’s not do this,” he begged. “You
know where I’m looking. My mother wants me to go to Cornell with my
brother,” he explained to me, “and my father wants me to go to Yale
like he did.”

“Oh,” I nodded, realizing both colleges were
on the wrong coast.

“Well, I suppose California would make sense
if Emily was there,” Vivian admitted with a slight rise of her
shoulder. Stuart cleared his throat. “Stuart, California has some
excellent schools.”

Hearing our future being planned before me
was surreal. It wasn’t that I didn’t want a future with Evan. I
honestly hadn’t thought much about it until this moment. However,
listening to his
mother
plan our future, didn’t feel quite
right.

“Mom,” Evan stressed, obviously just as
uncomfortable, “we have plenty of time to talk about it. Let’s talk
about something else, okay?”

“If you insist,” she agreed with an endearing
smile. “Are you looking forward to going to the prom next
month?”

Evan choked on his water. I stopped
breathing.

“What?” she questioned Evan’s obvious
disruption.

“We haven’t exactly talked about it yet,” he
confessed, glancing at me apologetically. I looked down at my plate
and moved the asparagus around with my fork.

“Evan,” she scolded, “she needs time to pick
out a dress. You should have asked her already.”

I bit my lip trying not to smile.

“Well, if you would like some assistance in
finding a dress,” she directed her attention to me, “I would be
happy to take you to this fabulous boutique in New York.”

“Okay, thank you,” I stuttered. Evan tensed
at the offer. The thought of it horrified me. I could barely
survive shopping with Sara at the mall.

“Since I seem to be suggesting the wrong
conversational topics,” Vivian declared, directing her words
towards Evan, “what would you like to talk about?”

Evan looked up, recognizing she was
addressing him.

“Dad, how’s work?” he asked quickly. Vivian
let out an exasperated sigh.

“Emily does not need to hear about his
tedious cases,” Vivian interrupted before Stuart could open his
mouth. I wasn’t sure if Stuart actually intended to open his mouth.
“We’re supposed to be getting to know her.” No, that’s not a good
idea either.

She offered me a warm smile, which I
attempted to return. My stomach churned in anticipation of her
impending question.

“What does your uncle do?” she asked
politely.

I swallowed hard. We were really going to
talk about my family, weren’t we?

“He’s a land surveyor.”

“That’s wonderful,” she replied. “I
understand that your father passed away when you were young. What
did he do?”

Evan gave me a worried glance. I took a
breath and replied, “He was an engineer for an architectural firm
in Boston.”

“Mom, aren’t you working on a charity event
in Boston?” Evan intercepted before his mother could ask another
revealing question.

Vivian beamed at the chance to talk about one
of her projects. Thankfully, she went into enough detail about the
event that the conversation lasted for the remainder of dinner.

“You and Evan should attend it with us,” she
decided as she set the dessert in front of us. Evan grumbled, not
hiding his distaste of the invitation. “Evan, stop that. It’s a
wonderful cause and you’ll be able to meet so many people in the
medical industry since it’s for the hospital.”

“When did you say it was?” I inquired.

“The middle of June.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” I replied, trying to sound
disappointed. “I’ll be away at the soccer camp by then.”

“Evan, is that the camp you applied for, as
well?”

I turned toward Evan, unaware that he had
applied.

“Oh, yeah,” he answered, meeting my
questioning eyes. “Sara gave me the application a few weeks ago.
But, I’m not sure if they have a spot open.”

The thought of spending the summer with Sara
and
Evan produced a glowing grin. Evan smiled in response to
my radiant expression. Vivian asked me to explain the camp while we
ate dessert, which was finally an easy topic, having been an
assistant coach there for the past two summers.

After dessert, Vivian excused us and escorted
me to the sitting room. Evan warily watched us leave while he and
his father cleaned up the dishes. When he eventually joined us, I
knew why.

“You are not showing her my baby pictures!”
He sounded horrified, which made me laugh.

“Come on, Evan,” I teased with a laughing
smile, “you were adorable.”

“I know,” Vivian acknowledged, not
understanding his reaction.

“Okay,” he announced, “I think you’ve had her
long enough.”

Evan closed the photo book that was in my lap
and placed it on the table. He held out his hand to take me
away.

“We’re going to the barn before I have to
drive her home.”

“I suppose,” Vivian said with a sigh. “It was
so nice to finally get to talk with you.” She gave me a hug and
kissed my cheek. “I look forward to seeing you again.”

“Good night,” I said to Stuart as Evan led me
through the kitchen.

“Good night, Emily,” Stuart’s bold voice
returned.

“Was it that horrible for you?” I laughed
while we climbed the stairs.

“I was going to ask you the same thing,” Evan
returned. When we entered the room, he turned to face me, looking
all too serious. “I’m sorry about that. I tried to give her
boundaries, but she doesn’t listen very well.”

“It was fine,” I assured him. He wrapped his
arms around me and kissed me gently.

“You’re birthday’s in a couple of weeks,” I
said, looking up at him from within his wrap. “What would you like
to do?”

“Will you be able to do anything on the
Friday of my actual birthday?”

I sucked in air through my teeth and shook my
head apologetically. “Saturday?” I offered.

“Okay,” he agreed. “So, I’ll do something
with the guys on Friday. Maybe go to the city or something. Then
Saturday’s just you and me.”

“Dinner?” I suggested. Evan considered my
offer, then smirked.

“Yeah,” he said, grinning. “I have an
idea.”

“I’m missing something.” I was mystified by
the look in his eye. I knew he was contriving a plan that he wasn’t
sharing.

“No,” he said quickly. “Dinner is perfect.
But can I choose?”

“Sure,” I agreed slowly, still not trusting
his reaction.

Carol and George were waiting for me when I
returned home. Well, they pretended to be sitting at the island
talking, but I was pretty sure they wanted to see if Evan would
walk me to the door. I was so glad I’d convinced him not to, even
when he tried to change my mind on the drive home.

“How was your night?” Carol inquired, with an
edge to her tone.

“It was nice,” I responded quietly, trying to
continue to my room.

“We need to lay down some ground rules,”
George declared, making me stop and close my eyes. I turned to
listen to their determination to destroy my world even more.

“You cannot go to Evan’s when no one’s home,”
Carol demanded. “If we hear otherwise, you won’t be allowed to see
him anymore. And that means when you’re at Sara’s too.”

“He is not allowed to drive you home after
school,” George added. “We don’t care if he drives you to school,
but you can only drive with Sara or one of your other girlfriends
in the afternoon.”

“And lastly,” Carol stated with a cutting
grin, “if we find out that you are having sex, you will not be
allowed to take a step out of this house until you graduate, except
to go to school.”

I remained motionless while her threat turned
over in my head.

“Why are you looking at us like that?” she
griped. “Are we not making ourselves clear?”

“I don’t understand why you’d assume I’d have
sex with him,” I replied, my voice sounding more accusatory than
defensive. “You know nothing about me, do you?”

“We know enough,” Carol bit. “We know you are
naïve and can easily be taken advantage of. Don’t think for a
second he cares about you. He’s just like every other guy who only
wants one thing.”

“You don’t know anything about him either,” I
shot back, my voice growing stronger.

Carol raised her eyebrows at my reaction,
while George’s face tensed.

“Maybe we should reconsider whether you’re
ready to date at all,” Carol threatened. My heart stopped. “Is
there something we should know? Are you already having sex?”

“No,” I answered quickly as the panicked heat
crept up my neck.

“Then this conversation is over,” George
finally interceded. “You know how we feel, and that’s it.”

37.
Gifts

I followed
their rules for the next two weeks. Not because I wanted to,
because it’s just how it ended up. Evan and I didn’t go to his
house the following Sunday, we went to the sports complex where he
talked me into the driving range instead of the batting cages. I
concluded in frustration never to do it again.

I spent time in Art and part of study period
preparing his birthday gift. Ms. Mier didn’t know exactly what it
was for but was encouraging as I completed each page. I had a
feeling she knew more than she admitted, but then again, she always
did.

When it was finally finished, I let Sara look
it over to make sure I hadn’t stepped over any lines that would
make it too… much. She understood its entire content since I told
her
everything
, so it was unnerving to watch her reaction as
she scanned each page. She smiled at the end and shocked me by
giving me a hug.

“Em, it’s perfect.”

“Really?”

“Definitely - he’s going to love it.”

“Then why do I feel like I’m going to throw
up at the thought of giving it to him?”

“Because it’s so personal and thoughtful. He
has to love it.”

I hoped she was right.

My stomach was in my throat the entire ride
to school on Friday. I nervously wrung my hands in my lap. Evan
finally said something when we arrived at school.

“What’s going on?” He turned to face me after
shutting the car off.

I took a quick breath. “I didn’t know when
was the best time to do this, so I’m just going to do it now.” I
reached into my backpack and pulled out the flat, wrapped square.
“Happy birthday.”

Evan produced an uncomfortable grin. “Thank
you.”

“You don’t have to open it now,” I blurted
when he started to unwrap the gift. “You can look at it later, when
you’re by yourself.”

He eyed me suspiciously and opened it
anyway.

“Evan, really, you don’t have to look at it
now.” Maybe I
was
going to throw up.

“Did you make this?”

I bit my lip and nodded.

To my horror, Evan started turning the pages
of the ribbon bound collection of art. A smile crept onto his face.
I held my breath, watching his bright eyes take in each moment
captured by the stroke of my brush.

He turned to the page with the image of
Sara’s scarf and remarked, “I still have this, don’t I?” He
hesitated at the page with the blue hand print, smiling wider,
which sent a warm chill through me. I took in his soft expression
while he scanned the lyrics I transcribed from one of the songs he
downloaded on my iPod, and he shook his head with a smile at the
Jacobs’ exquisite chandelier. Evan ran his fingers along the brook
in the meadow, and he let out a light laugh remembering the
cityscape from atop the apartment building in New York. His cheeks
flushed at the sight of the pink roses on the last page, and he
slowly closed the book with a deep breath.

“This is everything, huh?” he questioned,
taking a hold of my hand.

“Only the good stuff,” I corrected, my fiery
cheeks now crimson.

“This is amazing. Thank you.” He leaned over
and found me waiting for him. My head was swirling already from not
being able to breathe, but with the touch of his lips, the
sensation escalated, a rush of flitters in my chest. He left me
needing a minute to float back down before stepping out of the
car.

Evan met me on the other side of the car and
wrapped me tightly in his arms. My heart still hadn’t recovered
from the kiss and continued to falter when I looked up into his
steel blue eyes.

“That is the best gift I’ve ever received,”
he grinned. He kissed me again, but with a little more
restraint.

“Oh,” I sighed when he finally released me.
“I’m glad you like it.”

“That was hard for you, wasn’t it?” Evan
noted, holding my hand as we walked into school. I hesitated,
unsure of what he meant. “Having me look at it with you right
there.”

“You have no idea,” I confessed. He smiled at
my honesty.

“So tomorrow night’s my turn,” he declared
with a slight squeeze of my hand, leaving me perplexed as he
disappeared down the hall.

Evan wouldn’t explain what he meant when I
asked later that day. But, he did want me to wear his favorite pink
sweater, which I agreed to do with a shrug – it was his birthday.
He continued to avoid telling me what he meant by his statement,
making me nervous. It made Sara giddy. She came up with a thousand
reasons he was being so mysterious, but none of them were even
close to what he actually planned.

“We’re having dinner at your house?” I
questioned in confusion when we pulled in his driveway. Evan
grinned.

“Close your eyes,” he requested.

“What?! Why?” I demanded in a rush. “Evan,
what did you do? This is supposed to be
your
birthday,
right?”

“Yes,” he replied with a quick smile, “and
this is what I wanted to do for my birthday. Close your eyes.”