Rebecca's Choice (2 page)

With a jerk the buggy turned left at the main road and disappeared over the little open bridge toward the town of Unity.

John.
She let the thoughts come.
So steady now, so certain of himself yet somehow softened by what he has gone through. Is that the reason
Da Hah
allowed John’s trial—to prepare us for our lives together?

That the answer could be yes lay well within the realm of reason, she was certain. Those days of darkness, while John lay helpless and unconscious in the hospital, when they didn’t know if he would survive or in what condition he would live, had been hard.

Rebecca shivered at the thought. Had they not survived, though? Had the sky not cleared? Above all, had their love not been made stronger? She was certain of that too.

There had been days when she doubted things could ever be right again. Out in Milroy she had remembered what love had felt like. Her heart would race with wild emotion and be moved when she least expected it. She felt the desire to be near that special someone, hear his voice, and see fire light up in his eyes. Only then it hadn’t been John—it had been Atlee.

At times she had figured the past would always be better than anything the present could hold, but now she knew that wasn’t true. The memory of Atlee was faint, swallowed up by what had happened since Christmas. She thought of Atlee only momentarily, a fleeting glance backward.

Her heart had found its home. What had been child’s play with Atlee—the walks home with him from school and their promise at the bridge—had become an adult’s flame, which gripped her whole being.

Rebecca shook her head and walked toward the house. If her mother was here, she would shake her head too. She would say, “You do have it bad.”

Her thoughts went back to the hospital. John had told her how terrible that time had been. He woke up alone and was unable to move the whole side of his body. He was sure, he said, he would always be a cripple. He described his terror at the thought of losing her, how he hung on desperately to even the sound of her name. John had told her in subdued tones, his voice hushed in the telling, but she had felt fully the pain of his experience.

Yet John had let go. He would not have required her to marry a cripple. That much she knew. She had gone to him alone, driving the buggy with the young horse to West Union. There she had found herself ready to marry John because she loved him.

The same love she felt was in his eyes, as well. It was there when she first saw him laying in the hospital bed. His eyes reflected a gladness, a depth of joy that sprang up when he looked at her or said her name. Yet, what had surprised her the most that night had been the reaction of her own heart. It had wrapped itself around a man.

Since then John had been a changed man. There were days when he faltered, despaired on his slow way back to full health, but he had never faltered in his touch on her heart. “You don’t have to stay with me,” he told her a couple of times when he felt his worst, but his eyes always spoke of the depth of his love. They spoke too of the pain he would feel if she didn’t stay.

John’s need wasn’t what caused her love to grow. It was the door he always kept open that caused her love to blossom. Last fall things had not been so. John’s jealousy came between them. John knew of Atlee, and he also knew that he himself might be facing life as a cripple. John not only loved her, but he would have allowed her to leave if she so chose and would have understood the reason why.

Rebecca was certain there would have been no condemnation—no ugly words would have been spoken, no rumors spread, nor her name ruined. John would have said no unkind words when others would have asked the reason why.
She had her reasons,
he would have said and meant it. Even her promise to marry him, John wouldn’t have held it against her.

This Rebecca knew. How, she wasn’t certain. She just did, and nothing had happened since to cause her to doubt. Because of John’s freedom, she had fully lost her heart.

A glad and joyous state of existence, she thought and shook her head again. Maybe they ought to move the wedding date up. She drew in her breath sharply at the thought. John hadn’t even kissed her since that night at the hospital. Not that she thought he should have, she just wished he would—at least once in a while.

But that could wait, she figured. Perhaps it was for the best. As her mother would say, “Your years together will make up for the wait.” Rebecca figured her mother had the proof, having been married all these years. Though how her mother could understand what she now felt was a little beyond Rebecca’s comprehension.

This was hers and John’s alone—an emotion that grew and might soon burst if nothing was done about it.

C
HAPTER
T
WO

W
orking quickly Rebecca soon had the house in order. After the kitchen, which didn’t take too long, she worked on the living room mess, caused by the younger children’s departure to school. By ten she had the house clean.

Rebecca glanced out to the lawn to see if the robin had returned. She was glad to see the bird with its mate out on the grass. As she watched, the two would suddenly speed from one spot to another, abruptly stop, and fiercely peck the ground. Their heads would then come up sharply, and the whole scenario would begin again.

“They like each other too,” she said and chuckled, glad no one was around to hear.

From the time on the clock, she knew the sewing would be in full swing by now. Women would be sitting all over the place, bent over their quilts or working on small comfort projects off in the corners. A few sewing machines would click away, but above it all would be the murmur of steady conversation.

For a moment Rebecca wished she was there and smiled at the thought. Already she felt a little like a married woman, one who wanted to be surrounded by voices of children and the other community women. That would come soon enough, she figured. For now there was this day, which she intended to enjoy fully.

With the household duties done, the hours were her own. Mattie would be back around three, just before the children returned from school and the house exploded into a noisy ruckus again.

She decided to cut out her wedding dress. Today would be the perfect day for it because no prying eyes were there to see what she would wear on her special day. They would all know soon enough, but there was no rush. Kept secret, the knowledge seemed to gather extra joy in her heart.

John would know what color she would wear because she would tell him when they coordinated the wedding plans, but he wouldn’t see the dress—either in the making or after it was finished. John had an eye for color and would let her know whether he liked the dress. That he liked her, she already knew.

“You’d look good in any color,” he had said on Sunday night and meant it. In the glow of his words, she believed him. On the day they would be joined together as man and wife—for that day and for that moment—it would be true. Rebecca was certain of it.

She went upstairs to retrieve the material from the box that was supposed to be stored in the corner of her closet. She looked there first, but no box was there. She thought for a moment that one of the girls had found it and perhaps moved it while looking for her secrets. Katie, the oldest, was mischievous enough to try, and Viola would support Katie’s efforts.

Rebecca ran her hand through the closet a second time, then remembered she had left it out last night. Behind her the box sat beside her dresser in plain sight. Irritated she grabbed it, took the box downstairs, and spread the cloth out on the kitchen table. Its light blue sheen almost glowed as she stood back to look at it. Her heart beat faster, and she was again glad no one else was around.

Rebecca laid the pattern on the cloth, each piece sliding carefully through her fingers. She had a momentary flash of fear as the last piece of pattern ran over the edge. It looked as if she would not have enough material. Although the store clerk in West Union had assured her more fabric could be purchased, she had hesitated because this was all they had in stock. Rebecca knew how such things went and had little confidence in promises. Her preference would have been to choose another color then rather than now.

Her heart in her throat, she made a careful change in the positions of two pattern pieces and solved the problem. Next she considered whether it might be better to mark the fabric and then cut but decided against it. Rebecca preferred to cut straight from the pattern. With Mattie’s scissors she followed the outline of the paper.

The task was completed by lunchtime, and the cloth was folded and tucked back into the box. Rebecca fixed herself a sandwich and ate near the living room window. That was another benefit of a day by herself—she could eat lunch in the living room.

Her eyes searched the lawn for the robins but found no sight of them. What did appear was a chicken that walked lazily across the lawn like it owned the place, pecking the ground half-heartedly. Obviously the chicken was not hungry, but only trying out its freedom outside the confines of the chicken coop.

Rebecca opened the front door, her sandwich in her hand. “Where’d you come from?” she hollered.

The hen looked at her and emitted a soft cluck, as if it couldn’t understand why anyone would interrupt such a glorious day. Then apparently it remembered its condition. The hen took off, squawking wildly and running toward the barn, its wings flapping hard and aiding the fast getaway.

Rebecca shut the door again. She figured Matthew could catch the thing when he came home from school. How it came out was the larger problem and a matter that should be looked into immediately. If the yard was full of chickens when Mattie came home, her day off would long be remembered for reasons she didn’t wish it to be.

Rebecca got her coat and ate the rest of the sandwich while she circled the chicken pen looking for any wires that might appear out of place. She knew chickens didn’t just escape without a way out. Rebecca knew from bitter experience that where one chicken went, the rest were soon to follow.

So she walked around the coop yard again and finally found the breach in the wire. Too stupid to know enough to wait until no one was looking, but smart enough to figure out where their companion had gone, two hens poked their heads through the opening in the wire. If they had tried one at a time, they would have been out into the yard already, but as it was, the two had gotten nowhere.

“Back in with you,” Rebecca told them, pushing their heads back into the coop.

They squawked loudly in protest, which attracted more hens, all apparently interested in the dash for freedom.

“No, you don’t,” Rebecca told them, bending the chicken wires to create a temporary fix. More would need to be done.

She ran to the barn and found wire and a pair of pliers. Rebecca was on her way out when she heard the loud clucking and squawking coming from the haymow. The stray hen raised an awful fuss.

Sure the chicken was not in harm’s way, Rebecca figured the hen must have laid an egg and was now announcing the exhilarating experience. True to Rebecca’s expectations, the hen appeared at the haymow edge, loud in its proclamations and wildly flapping its wings.

“Matthew will take care of you,” she told it. “We ought to eat you for this.”

As if the hen understood it was only an idle threat, it gave one last flap of its wings, clucked in triumph, and disappeared back into the haymow.

Back at the chicken pen, another hen already had her head stuck in the makeshift wire repair and had pushed up dirt high behind it. Rebecca released the bird from its snare and stretched wire twice across the hole. A few twists of the pliers and the job was completed. From several steps back, Rebecca evaluated the handiwork and considered it sufficient to last until either Matthew or her father could check it. If nothing else she would check it again tonight.

It was now getting on toward one, and Rebecca pulled her thoughts back to what she wanted to do with the rest of the day. The entire wedding plans had yet to be made. Food, her mother would take care of. Table waiters were her responsibility. They would be a delight to plan but still a little difficult at this point.

With the wedding almost a year away, couples who dated now might not be by then. She supposed last minute changes could be made, so some plans might survive. Still, it would be best to wait until closer to the wedding date to announce any plans.

John had no younger brothers and sisters, just his older sister, Bethany, who had been married for years but had no children. She could serve as a cook if she wasn’t family. As family she would be given a seat of honor, close to John and herself at the corner table.

Rebecca was overwhelmed with sheer delight at the thought of the day to come. She wanted to add a special touch—flowers, just a small bouquet at the table. Surely Bishop Martin wouldn’t object. She had seen this done at the last community wedding, and no one raised a fuss.