Rebel Heart (18 page)

Shannon held her breath, fear licking through her every single one of those endless seconds. Fear that he’d be bucked off, end up in the dirt again, maybe more injured this time than the last time.

She could scarcely stand it. Adrenaline poured through her as she willed him to stay on the horse, to stick to the saddle, finish the ride and get safely off. Her palms were slick, she rubbed them on her jeans. She couldn’t stand it if anything happened to him. He had to finish the ride!

When the bell rang, she sagged back in the bench, relief flooding. He’d made it. In another couple of seconds the pickup men had him safely on the ground waving at the crowd. His score beat the next highest by two points.

Shannon scrambled out of the bleachers, heading toward the end of the chutes, no longer interested in the event. Thankful that he was safe, she still had something to say to her husband.

“Jase!” She found him at the end of the arena, laughing and joking with a bunch of other cowboys. They all looked the same, tall, rangy, dressed in blue jeans and colorful shirts. Their hats ranged from black to straw to snowy white. Most of them were younger than Jase. All of them swung around at the sound of Shannon’s voice.

“Shannon?” He pushed away from the side of the barn and headed toward her, his lopsided smile slowly forming. “What the hell are you doing here, darlin’? I’ve called you three nights running and got no answer.”

“She yours?” one of the men asked.

“Yeah, she’s my wife.” It was said with quiet pride.

Shannon glanced at him, peered around at the group of grinning cowboys.

“No wonder you never chat up the girls, I wouldn’t either if I had someone like her at home,” someone else called.

“Something wrong at home?” Jase asked, taking her arm and turning her away from the rowdy cowboys. He walked her across the fairgrounds and toward the familiar truck and horse trailer. Shadow was tied in the shade, dozing.

“Nothing wrong at
my
ranch,” she said firmly. Slapping him in the chest with the side of the journal, she stopped and glared at him, ignoring the small dart of pleasure that she felt seeing him. Trying her best to ignore how tanned he looked, how happy, how relieved she was that he’d finished the ride safely. Her anger flared again, hot and strong.

“But I wouldn’t know about the Rafter C. Maybe you have more information than I,” she snapped.

He looked at her, at the journal. Slowly he peeled it from his chest, lifting her fingers to release it. With a wary glance at her, he opened it. It took him only a second to find the article.

“Something you forgot to tell me?” she asked, eyes narrowed. “Like that first day in Fort Worth at the hospital? I thought you didn’t have any place to stay while you recuperated. You never denied it.”

“I never said I didn’t, either,” he answered carefully.

“You lied.”

“No.”

“The whole thing’s been a lie from start to finish, hasn’t it? You own the Rafter C. One of the largest and most successful ranches in Texas. God, you must have laughed yourself sick at my offering you a place to stay on the Bar Seven. How could I have been such an idiot?”

“Shannon—”

“You didn’t need to stay at my place, you could have gone home and recuperated. Probably had a private jet fly out for you. Dammit, Jase, you lied the whole time!”

“No.” He took her shoulders and shook her slightly to stop her tirade.

“Listen to me, darlin’. I was intrigued by your request. I knew I couldn’t ride for a while so thought I might as well help you out. I remembered Bobby. He and I had been friends of a sort on the circuit. And I—”

She broke free and stormed away, turning after a dozen steps to stomp back. “All the time I called you irresponsible and you never said a word. According to that article you built that ranch up from a small, almost-bankrupt spread to a showplace. The brightest star in Texas ranching,” she spat out. It had taken a lot more than a sense of responsibility to build up a huge ranch. It had taken hard work, grim determination and skill. Had he turned his back on it, shunned all duty since?

No, that didn’t match with what she knew of him. He talked a good line, but responsibility was never far from him.

“Shannon, I’m trying to explain, if you would shut up for a minute.”

“I’m so angry I could hit you!” she yelled, emotions churning. She felt anger, but also betrayal and hurt. She had fallen in love with a man who hadn’t even done her the courtesy of telling her the truth about himself!

No
! She would not let herself be in love with anyone. She would not! She would stand on her own two feet and guard her heart from hurt.

“Nobody’s going to hit anybody. Calm down, dammit. I can explain. Just listen, okay? Everything I told you is true. I just didn’t tell you everything there is to know.”

The anger deflated.

Stunned as she realized she loved him, the anger faded. That was the reason she’d come, to see him again, to be with him. That’s why the fear had been so strong when he rode, fear for the man she loved. Fear he might be hurt again.

She shivered at the thought of loving a man who would never be home, who wanted an irresponsible existence.

What she felt for Jase couldn’t compare with what she’d ever felt before. How could she stand it? She leaned back against the side of the truck and gazed off across the fields. Her heart ached. In the distance she could see the wooden buildings of downtown Trinity silhouetted against the afternoon sky. It was hot. She didn't expect Wyoming to be so hot. It was already late October.

At home the trees had begun to turn and the nights were cold. And she stood there beside her husband, a stranger she knew even less about now than she thought she had before. Knowing she loved him scared her more than anything.

She’d tried that once with a rodeo cowboy and failed. The hurt still lingered. But the fear of further hurt, deeper pain, was almost overwhelming. She couldn’t love him.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked, the fight seeping out of her.

“For a number of reasons. None of them seem any good right at the moment. But at the time, I don’t know, you didn’t seem to know who I was and that was a novelty. I’ve had women come on to me because I own part of the Rafter C, or because I’m winning in rodeos or just because they think I have money. Not because they really want to get to know me.”

“For money?” Funny, she’d taken his money, too. Didn’t that make her like the others?

“That and the prestige. I thought I’d help you out while my arm healed, then move on. I hadn’t expected it to turn out this way.”

“Marriage, you mean?”

“Yes, that’s what I mean.” He ran his hand around the back of his neck, glancing down at the article. “They did the interview a few months back. They always do interviews months before they’re published. To tell the truth, I'd forgotten about it.”

“It’s a very enlightening article. I should be even more reassured you know your stuff. No wonder I learned so much. Sorry for the shots about irresponsibility.”

She closed her eyes.
Sorry I fell in love.

“You made me so mad at first, equating me with Bobby. But then I guess I never gave you any reason to think differently,” he said slowly.

“You still run it, don’t you, even doing the rodeos.” How could she have ever thought he was a man who shunned responsibility?

“No, Josh’s managing it now. We talk from time to time, but he’s in charge.”

The anger that had driven her over 900 miles vanished. She felt drained, tired, depressed. What had she expected, for Jase to deny the article? Tell her a fairy tale that would make everything come out the way she wanted? Had she really pursued him, just to see him again, to gain some sort of reassurance that he would continue in their marriage, that one day he’d be back at the Bar Seven? The truth was she loved him and didn’t like being parted, she wanted him home.

In truth she’d used the article as an excuse to see him again. The last weeks had been so lonely without him.

Love should bring happiness, joy. She felt almost sick. She wasn’t sure, wasn’t sure at all. All she knew was that it had been a mistake. From beginning to end, a huge mistake. And she was the one going to pay the price for it. If she could only undo the past, she’d make so many changes.

Not falling for a cowboy would be at the top of her list.

“I don’t know why you wanted forty percent of my operation. It can’t amount to a hill of beans in comparison to what you already have.” She rubbed her chest slowly, trying to ease the ache that was building.

“What you have, too, now, darlin’,” he reminded her, watching her closely.

“What?” She looked at him.

“You have forty percent of my share of the Rafter C.”

“I don’t want your ranch.” Good gracious, she'd never thought about that.

He smiled. “I know, but that was our agreement. I got forty percent of what you had and you got forty percent of what I had.”

“But I thought you only had Shadow.” She was dumbfounded. She had never considered this angle. “This changes everything.”

Had he considered when they married that she’d own a part of his ranch? He must have.

She couldn’t think.

Why would he have bargained away part of such a successful spread? And all in exchange for an almost-bankrupt ranch that would take years to turn around.

“It changes nothing. We’re married. We’ll remain married, make the most of it. How long are you going to stay?” Jase asked, rolling up the magazine, tapping it softly against his thigh.

“Huh?” She needed time to absorb all this.

“How long are you staying here?”

“I don’t know.” She rubbed her eyes. She was so tired. It had been a long drive down, and now she had to turn around and go all the way back. “I didn’t plan on anything after seeing you. I was just so mad when I saw the article.”

“Stay a few days, watch me ride,” he said softly.

“What’s the point?”

He drew her away from the truck, into his arms. Tightening them gently around her, he rested his head on her soft hair. “The point is to give your husband moral support while he challenges all comers.”

“How are you doing?” His heat slowly invaded her body, softening her, warming her, exciting her.

“Luck’s with me so far. I’ve earned enough money to gain the number fifteen spot in bareback bronc standings. Still below in the saddle bronc rides. And we’re pulling in the points on the cutting events. Shadow’s won seven in a row now. I’ve been in the money in most of the bronc competitions. But I’m not sure I’m going to make the finals in that one. There’re others that are better than me. Just depends on how well I ride.”

“And your ribs and arm?” she asked, slowly bringing her own arms up around his waist, leaning against the solid strength of him. Closing her eyes and breathing in his special scent brought her more alive than she’d been in weeks.

“Ah, I love your wifely concern. I’m doing fine, darlin’. Plan to stay a few days, the ranch’ll manage just fine with the men you have working for you.”

She hesitated.

“Come on, Shannon, at least until Sunday. I’m pulling out right after the show to head to Del Rio. You can stay here that long, watch me ride, watch Shadow and me compete. We’ll go to some of the parties.”

She shrugged. She didn’t really like rodeos. She felt out of place, not having grown up around ranches like most of the participants.

And she didn’t look forward to watching him ride. Rodeoing was a dangerous sport. The next time an injury could be more severe than a mere broken arm.

But she’d stay, just to have a few days with Jase. A few crumbs were better than nothing. She leaned against him, relishing the fleeting illusion of closeness.

“Good ride, Hart,” a man called.

Jase nodded and waved, releasing Shannon.

“Come on, I’m hungry.”

“It’s mid afternoon,” she protested.

“I know, but I don’t eat before an event. So I’m ready now.”

“What’s the matter, nerves?” She turned and walked with him toward one of the numerous refreshment booths.

“Yeah. I’m afraid I’ll toss my cookies if I eat before an event.”

She smiled, charmed at the notion of her arrogant husband being nervous about anything. His arm lay heavy on her shoulder. He held her close, as if wanting the contact, or as if proclaiming to everyone that she belonged to him. Some of her hurt and fear faded in light of his obvious happiness in seeing her.

For a moment she let herself imagine he loved her.

She watched him compete in the evening show, wondering if she should subject herself to such terror. Every second seemed like an eternity. The horse he drew seemed meaner and more vicious than the one she’d seen earlier. Yet she yelled with the other fans and greeted him with a big smile when he joined her in the stands to watch the rest of the events. She'd never let him know how scared she’d been lest he suspect the deeper emotion behind it.

They attended the cowboys’ dance afterward. Shannon met Jase’s friends. For the most part they were men of his age, which surprised her. Jase didn’t mingle much with the brash younger riders. His friends were ranchers and businessmen who loved rodeos, who competed on the local level but didn’t follow the circuit.

From the comments made, Shannon realized this was the first dance Jase had attended since she’d met him. At least she didn’t have the humiliation of knowing he saw other women when he wasn’t with her. For that she was grateful.

It was late when Jase drove them to the motel near the fairgrounds where he had a room. Without asking, he got her one of her own. He kissed her cheek when he opened the door for her, dropping her suitcase inside.

“Breakfast at nine suit you?” he asked as he made to leave.

“When’s your first ride?” she asked, not wanting him to leave, not knowing how to get him to stay.

“The bronc event starts at one. Shadow and I have an eleven-fifteen cutting event. We can get lunch after the bronc ride.”

She nodded, reaching out her hand and trailing her fingers down his chest. She didn’t want him to go.

He caught her hand and lifted it to his mouth, planting a moist kiss in her palm. Folding her fingers over it, he released her and spun away. In seconds he hastened up the stairs to the floor where his room was situated.