Rebound (20 page)

Plus, what Susan
didn’t know about what else Freddy might have done with her shoes
would allow her to keep sleeping at night.

* * * *

A shower, some
coffee, and a pair of practical flats, and Susan headed out for
work. But first she had to go see Liz. She absolutely needed to
talk to someone about Kevin, and since Dr. Garvin was out of the
question, and she’d imposed on Jill enough--she’d have to give her
a raise--she had to turn to her best friend, the best friend she’d
been hiding all this from for six full months.

This
should go well.

The early morning sun
was stiffening her headache into a full grown migraine. So the
shady ambiance of Liz’s art gallery was a welcome sight. It was
quiet too. No cars, screaming pedestrians, no wind, no birds, no
freaking jackhammers ripping the street apart.

Lance, Liz’s
assistant, ushered Susan toward Liz’s office, offering her,
“Coffee, tea,” then with an appraising glance, “Bloody Mary?”

“No, thanks,” she
said, though the Bloody Mary might’ve made her head feel
better.

When Susan walked
through Liz’s office door Liz was standing over her desk, savagely
tearing and crumpling a piece of paper into a small, painful
looking ball.

“You look angry with
that paper.”

Liz’s eyes lit up
when they shot to Susan, and Liz flicked the offending paper ball
into the trash can by her desk. “It was a bad piece of paper. If it
were good, it would’ve thrown itself away.”

Susan smiled and
started for the chair by Liz’s desk. But just before she was going
to plop her butt down in the chair she remembered what her reason
was for coming downtown to talk with Liz.

The thought of
telling Liz, especially after all this time, especially since it
was Kevin, made Susan feel abruptly nervous, paranoid, and ready to
run from the premises with her tail between her legs.

“Uh oh,” Liz purred
as she sat down in her chair. “That look is never good to see.
Especially this early in the morning.”

“What look?” Susan
said defensively.

Liz sighed. “Like you
just switched to vodka.”

How the hell did she
know that?

“I’m fine. I just
need to tell you something.”

“Okay.” Liz crossed
her arms over her chest and gave Susan one of her patented looks,
the kind that made you want to confess all your sins. “Shoot.”

Susan sat down. She
took a deep breath and opened her mouth. But nothing came out. She
shut her mouth, fidgeted with her purse, crossed and uncrossed her
legs, and got up and walked across the room.

“Let me guess. You
woke up today and realized you’re a man trapped in a woman’s
body.”

“Liz!”

“Okay. Not a man. So
you woke up today and realized you’re a lesbian.” Liz chuckled.
“And you’re in love with me, your best friend in the world. And
you’re afraid that our lesbian love might destroy our friendship if
we act on it, right?”

She’d gotten part of
it right.

Susan just stared for
a few more beats, and Liz straightened in her chair and leaned
forward. “I was just kidding. Don’t go all weird on me, just tell
me what’s wrong.”

“I slept with Kevin.”
It just popped out of Susan’s mouth.

Liz leaned toward
Susan in two exaggerated movements. “Come again?”

Susan took another
deep breath and started talking, the words tumbling over her tongue
and through her lips with amazing speed. The entire story took
about ten minutes. And through all this Liz sat very still, slowly
leaning back in her chair, her arms crossed over her chest
again.

The look on her face
was as blank as a page of copier paper.

Susan realized that
she was rounding the final turn in her story--dinner with Kevin,
him saying he was over her and had moved on, and her going, drunk,
to Francesca Costa’s apartment.

When she was finished
she sat back down in the chair, exhausted, and waited for Liz to
react. She would no doubt chastise Susan for ever sleeping with
Kevin, but she would understand and help her figure things out. Liz
was always on her side, always there when she needed her.

She was glaring at
Susan like she could kill her.

“I can’t believe how
dumb you are!”

“Huh?”

Liz stood and started
pacing the floor like a caged tiger. “He’s been in love with you
since the moment he laid eyes on you. Only a complete idiot
could’ve missed that!”

“You’re way off
base.” Susan couldn’t believe her ears. Liz was pissed at her?
Calling her dumb and an idiot?

“And you’re deeply
stupid!”

Stupid! What the hell
was going on? Her best friend was on Kevin’s side?

“Kevin is not in love
with me. Lust...he’s definitely in lust with me, but--”

Liz turned mid pace
and rounded on Susan. “Look, sweetie, I’m not going to sugarcoat
this for you. Kevin worships the ground you walk on. Always has,
and I suspect he always will. And that was fine, as long as you
kept it strictly platonic. But you didn’t. You slept with the poor
slump. Well, I guess he’s not a slump anymore. More of a lean,
handsome stud. But you slept with him...” Her eyebrows knitted in
contemplation. “How many times?”

Susan was so taken
aback by this question she answered it before she could help
herself. “Twelve times.”

“No way!” Liz
shrieked. “You were only down there for a couple of days!”

Susan shrugged, all
pretense gone.

“Okay. So you
two...fucked like bunnies in a tropical paradise, giving Kevin what
he’s always wanted, in spades.” Liz walked over to Susan, leaning
in until their noses were about to touch. “And he hasn’t called you
since, not once in six months, right?”

Susan had taken a
deep breath, ready to refute whatever Liz was trying to get at. But
it was true. They’d made love--a lot--and it hadn’t just been sex,
and she knew it. Then he’d left when Liz arrived, and he hadn’t
called her in six long, torturous months.

Susan nodded.

“Sounds like a man in
love, licking his wounds.” Liz took a step back and lifted her
head, giving Susan an appraising look, the kind she usually only
gave to newly acquired art work, or very short men who were hitting
on her. “Tell me I haven’t over estimated your intelligence.”

That stung. “Hey! It
was all your idea.”

But Liz’s expression
didn’t change, she wasn’t being funny, just deadly serious. “I told
you to find some random stud and fuck your brains out. I didn’t
tell you to get involved with Kevin. That’s the worst idea I’ve
ever heard.”

Susan looked away,
down to the floor. Was Liz right? Had Kevin been in love with her
all these years? Was she really so moronic and self-involved that
she couldn’t tell?

That would be a
yes.

“So, Kevin’s in love
with me.” The sentence tumbled from her lips.

“Yep.”

Susan shook her head,
lost. “What do I do now?”

Liz’s expression
finally softened, and she smiled as she stepped forward and gave
Susan a long hug.

“Admitting you have a
problem is the first step,” Liz intoned in her best twelve-step
sponsor voice, and Susan laughed, though tears were brimming in her
eyes. Liz let Susan go and walked over to her desk, pulling a
bottle of single malt whiskey out of a drawer and two crystal rocks
glasses. “First, you belt back one of these.” She poured three
fingers in each glass. “And then you ask yourself if you love
him.”

Susan shook her head.
“Of course, I love Kevin.”

Liz tilted her head
again, and her blue eyes sparkled. “Yeah, you love him like a
friend. That’s established. Now you gotta see whether you love-love
him. Are you in love...with him, and not just his cock--”

“Liz!”

“Or with that amazing
body? Did I mention him being hot and handsome too?”

“Liz...”

Liz handed Susan her
glass, and chugged hers straight back in typical Liz fashion. “The
point is, you’ve got to figure that out, and quick, before you hurt
him.”

Susan just
stared at Liz after that last bit.
Before you hurt him.

“
Since when did
you start caring what happens to Kevin?” Susan said, expecting some
bitchy, funny comeback. Like
owner loyalty: he has been your stalker for a lot of
years
, or
call it my good deed for the
year
. But Liz just looked
Susan in the eye and gave it to her straight.

“Ever since he stood
by my best friend in her time of need.” Liz clinked her glass
against Susan’s. “He picked her up and put her back together
again.”

Chapter 14

Susan hadn’t realized
she’d even left Liz’s office until she was outside on the street
and a cab driver started talking to her. Well, shouting at her.

“Lady! Are you
getting in or not?”

Susan looked down at
his thick, ruddy face and shook her head, looking around her,
feeling completely lost and utterly confused.

“I need to walk...”
Susan said, yet she just stood there, not moving a muscle, staring
straight ahead as the cabby called her a few nasty names and took
off with a squeal of tires.

Looking up at the
bright, sunlit sky line, she recognized the tower of glass and
steel that she worked in. She needed to go there. She needed to
start work. She walked slowly as if in a dream, as if there were
twenty pound weights on her ankles, toward her tower of steel and
glass.

The usual blasting,
shrieking sounds of the city seemed muted out to the point they
sounded miles away. And even as slow as she was walking, no one
seemed to be bumping into her, as if she really wasn’t there.

Maybe she’d fallen or
stepped into another universe where no one could see her?

Except for cab
drivers?

Something was
glittering in her peripheral vision. She turned her head and found
that she was walking by a large, splendid fountain, replete with
harp bearing cupids and even a half-man, half-goat with a pan
flute.

Of course, Susan was
pretty sure the fountain had neither cupids or flute-wielding goat
men. She’d passed this fountain numerous times and had never
noticed anything of the kind.

Looking from
the goat man to the cupid closest to her, she remembered what Liz
had said.
He’s been
in love with you since the moment he laid eyes on you.

“Kevin’s in love with
me.”

It wasn’t a question.
It was now a fact. It hadn’t just been a lust thing, or solace, or
anything she’d been telling herself for the last six months, things
she’d told herself just to get by. No. Kevin was in love with
her.

Was she in love with
him? She shook her head, miserable and not knowing what her answer
would be. He was the best man she’d ever known, and she never felt
better than when she was talking to him. She never felt more than
when he was with her. And she’d never felt so engulfed in lust and
want than when she’d been with him in Cancun.

Another
question came to her.
Is he still in love with me?

The thought that he
might not be struck her in the chest, making it hard to breathe.
He’d said he’d moved on, and that he was over her. Maybe that meant
he was in love with someone else. Maybe there was someone besides
Francesca Costa? Maybe they were planning on getting married and
running off to the same Cancun beach, and to their own Virgin
Drop!

No!
Susan’s hands were in
tight, white knuckled fists on her knees. He had to still be in
love with her. There couldn’t be anyone else, there just
couldn’t...

“Miss...Miss, are you
all right?”

Susan looked up into
the prettiest golden eyes she’d ever seen. The woman who owned them
looked to be in her late sixties, and her shiny gray hair was
pulled back into a neat braid. She had two small children at her
side and a large canvas satchel slung over her shoulder.

Susan nodded, but no
words would come out.

The woman leaned
down, looked hard into Susan’s eyes, and shook her head doubtingly.
“You don’t look good to me. Maybe your sugar’s low.” She reached
into the satchel and pulled out a juice box, wrenching the straw
free and expertly stabbing it into the box. “Drink this,” she said,
handing it to Susan. “It’ll make you feel better.

The old woman’s smile
was not only sweet, but it gleamed white and girlishly
youthful.

As the woman and what
looked like her two grandchildren strolled away, Susan found
herself knowing the answer to her own question.

Did she love Kevin?
Yes. Most definitely, most positively, yes.

But was he still in
love with her? If he wasn’t, then she was going to win him
back...and tonight.

* * * *

Susan waltzed through
her workday. Meetings flew by. She demolished her workload during
lunch--a turkey and Swiss on whole wheat--then called Kevin at
Costa Consortium, insisting that he come to dinner with her. “I
promise not to drink a single drop of alcohol.”

Reluctantly, Kevin
agreed. He’d sounded put upon. As if having dinner with her again
would be an imposition. Susan bit her lip in angst, yet cheerfully
ignored his reluctance, telling him to meet her at her favorite
Italian Mom and Pop restaurant.

Susan was already
planning what she’d wear. A nice blouse, something silky,
unbuttoned just so. A skirt of proper shortness that she would look
sexy in, yet not like a street walker. And black leather
sling-backs with the two-inch heels. They’d lengthen her legs
without the pain or gracelessness as her fuck-me pumps from the
night before.

She’d look
sensational.