Rebound (24 page)

Francesca smiled the
slyest, most vicious of smiles, and slipped her silky arm into
Susan’s, locking them together at the elbow. Arm in arm, like old
friends, Francesca guided her away from the front of the great room
and into the din and crush of the other guests.

“Guilty,” she said.
“I do love to throw parties when my company wins a big account. But
just between you and me, I haven’t had near as many occasions to do
so since you showed up in town.”

“Sorry,” Susan said,
yet clearly not.

“
I’m sure
you’re not.”
Observant.
“But I
could’ve shown Kevin and his marvelous design off just as well at a
swanky cocktail party in my own home.”

“Are you trying to
tell me you rented out this joint just so you wouldn’t have to
invite me into your home? Because I’ve already been to your
place.”

“And I choose to
remember only the sober times.”

Susan felt a flush of
embarrassment burn at her face.

“But that’s hardly
the reason I was getting at. I needed to set the stage...for
you.”

Susan stopped and
turned to face Francesca head on. “Set the stage for what? What the
hell are you talking about?”

“Temper, temper. No
need to make a scene.” Francesca was deceptively strong, turning,
and pulling Susan effortlessly back into step with her. “I was only
trying to tell you that I wanted to make it as easy as possible for
you to win Kevin back.”

Susan stopped again.
This time she just stood there, all her strength leaving her. Her
heart might have even stopped. She certainly had stopped breathing.
It was worse than she’d thought. Not only would she have to say she
loved him, but she’d have to win him back.

“I’m not going to be
able to do it,” she said to no one in particular.

Francesca jerked her
head in Susan’s direction, boring her icy blue eyes into hers. “Of
course you can do it! He’s yours, all you have to do is claim
him.”

Claim him she says. Like he’s waiting for her in lost and
found.

Susan stared into
Francesca’s gleaming eyes. “I love him, I really do, but I don’t
know if I can handle him being...” And she just stopped talking.
She still couldn’t get her head wrapped around the idea that he was
a better architect than she was. It was all she’d had left, all
that remained of her dreams, of her identity. She was going to be
the best architect. And now her best friend would be. And he would
be her lover too.

How could she stand
it, absorb it into herself and not go insane?

“What can’t you
handle?”

Susan shook her head.
She’d forgotten Francesca was even there.

“That Kevin’s a
better architect than me.” There, she’d said it. She should be
having that wonderful, uplifting, weight-off-her-shoulders
sensation any moment. Yet all she felt like was a jealous, whiny
bitch.

Francesca threw her
head back and began laughing in a cruel, demented rapture. Again,
she was a dead ringer for Michele Pfeiffer as Catwoman.

Finally, Susan had to
glare at Francesca. “It’s not funny.” Her voice was tight and low,
like a growl.

Francesca held a
manicured hand to her nonexistent belly. “You’re right, it’s not
funny, it’s hysterical.” She sighed and took a few deep breaths.
Everyone in the room was staring. “Come with me, I have something
to show you.” She took Susan by the arm. Susan pulled away from
her, but Francesca grabbed her again. “Believe me, you need to see
this.”

As Francesca drew
Susan further into the party Susan felt more and more as if she
were hiking up some steep mountain trail, and that she was coming
closer and closer to actually scaling up the side of a cliff.

Susan tried to put
the brakes on again as they rounded a corner. “All I need to do is
see Kevin, or at least I did before I started doubting my own
worth, thank you very much. Whatever you need to show me can
just--”

Susan lost the words
she was going to say. She lost the thread of the conversation she
was having with Francesca. She even forgot her own name for a
moment as she stared at the wall sized monitor in front of her,
which contained Kevin’s design for the opera house, in three
dimensional, fully-visualized splendor. From the elegantly cut
marble facade to the sparkling water flowing down the steps of a
waterfall springing from a pin and gold clamshell molding between
the two arched entryways that led to two enormous leaded-glass
front doors.

The point of view
moved inside, showing the color of the inside walls, the texture of
the curtains, the grand majesty of the simple yet towering floor
plan of the stage and the seating and the second tier of seats, and
the gilded private boxes.

Susan had never
seen anything like it. It was glorious and yet intimate all at
once. And though she’d seen nothing like it before, it seemed to
always have been there.
Timeless.

“It’s beautiful,”
Susan whispered, her gaze never leaving the monitor. But beautiful
wasn’t enough, not nearly enough, to describe the design she was
staring at with rapt attention.

“Kevin spent the
first year after college traveling Europe,” Francesca said, as she
too stared into the enormous monitor.

“I remember. He had a
Europass and about a thousand bucks he’d saved up.”

“Well, he spent that
year going to and studying as much of the old architecture as he
could, especially old theaters and opera houses. Went as far as to
goad the architects rebuilding the Fenice in Venice to explain how
the very walls of the theater could make the music sound even
better.” She looked at Susan and smiled. “He’s been dreaming of
designing an opera house ever since. I think he knows what he’s
doing. And so did the Maestro.”

“The Maestro.”
Susan’s voice cracked with a touch of bitterness. “He must have
hated my design.”

“He hated all the
designs, until he saw Kevin’s.”

The more Susan gazed
up into the monitor, the more lost she became in Kevin’s creation.
It was gorgeous. So much better than the tower of steel and glass
she’d thought of. And it just didn’t matter. And that thought
filled her with warmth and golden light. Not just the thought, but
knowing, right there and then, that no matter if Kevin was a better
architect or not, that it didn’t matter. She would love him anyway.
She would let her foolish pride go and just let herself love
him.

“I don’t care if he’s
better than me.” She didn’t mean for the words to cross her lips,
but she felt a weight lift as she said them. “I’m still in love
with him.”

Francesca laughed
again and slapped Susan lightheartedly on the arm. “You don’t
really think he’s better than you, do you?”

Susan turned to look
at her old idol, amazed at what she’d just suggested. She turned
back to the monitor. “But just look at it.”

“Yes, this design is
much better than the one you made. But there are many other
projects that Kevin won’t even challenge you for...at least not
yet. If he stays, then maybe I can guide him, mentor him until he
is real competition for not just you, but for everyone.”

Susan smiled.
Francesca sounded so sure of herself, and so very proud of Kevin.
“You really care for him.”

“Like he was one of
my own kids.”

“I love him.” And
with that Susan felt all the thoughts and feelings that had kept
her away from him melt away. The thought of telling him she loved
him didn’t seem hard at all. It all seemed so easy. She turned to
Francesca and said, “Where is he?”

Francesca smiled and
nodded in the direction of the balcony. “Out there, in the dark,
missing you.”

Susan’s heart skipped
as she took a deep breath and started to move toward the open doors
to the balcony. Her future awaited her.

Chapter 16

Susan found the
balcony deserted. Not a soul stood anywhere on its spacious
overlook. No one was out there, not even Kevin. Her chest
tightened, and her heart, that had been beating so hard with
excitement, seemed to deflate as she understood that she’d missed
him, again.

She gripped the
railing and looked out over the city. For a brief moment she could
see herself hopping over the railing and to her death, but that was
absurd. She’d only jump over the railing if there was a cable
rigged up so that she would make it to the street before him, to
head him off.

Liz had said he was
taking the red-eye...somewhere. That he was leaving right after the
party. He’d jumped the gun and left early.

That’s what she had
to do! The thought materialized, vibrant and clear, and so simple.
She’d commandeer Francesca’s car--she probably had an expensive,
very fast sports car--and speed through traffic like a maniac until
she made it to the airport. She’d leave the car parked at the
entrance and run inside, and then...

And then she’d get
stopped by airport security. They didn’t just let you run through
the airport like they used to. Not like in the movies. But if this
were a movie, she’d find a way.

And just as she was
forming a plan to knock out a flight attendant and sneak through
security wearing her uniform, she heard Kevin’s voice, thick with
laughter, drifting to her from the shadows.

“Step away from the
edge, little girl.”

“Kevin!” She hated
how happy and grateful she sounded. And she was mad at him. “You’ve
been hiding there the whole time?”

“You’ve only been
standing out here for maybe a minute.” He walked out of the
shadows, looking so very good in a tux that Susan forgot why she
was angry with him. “But you should’ve seen your face. Looked like
you were hatching a scheme to rob Fort Knox.”

Susan shut her eyes
and tried to think. What was she doing out there again? It was
freezing. No one stood on a balcony this time of year. Especially
in evening wear. Her entire body shivered from the cold gusts
swirling about her.

“You’re freezing,”
Kevin said, shrugging off his tuxedo jacket and wrapping it and his
arms around Susan.

Susan felt more than
just warm, she felt on fire, and having his big strong arms around
her made her heart race and her mind go blank. His scent filled her
lungs and made her mouth water, starving for the taste of him.
Involuntarily, she pressed herself against him. And maddeningly, he
stepped away, out of her reach.

“So you’ve come out
of seclusion. Was it just curiosity about what design beat yours?”
He stood there, his arms folded over his chest, the gleaming white
of his shirt luminous in the moonlight.

“Your design is
stunning. You deserved to win.”

“You know, that’s the
problem with you...” Kevin stopped and shook his head. “What did
you say?”

“You deserved to win.
Your design is amazing.”

“Yeah, that’s what I
thought you said. Are you sick or something?”

Susan shook her head.
“No. I feel great.” She moved closer to Kevin. Just being near him
was making her warm all over, to hell with the bitter cold winds.
“I feel better now that you’re here.”

Even in the dark,
with the moon as their only light, Susan could see Kevin’s eyes
filling with want. Then he looked up and moved back another
step.

“What do you mean,
now that I’m here? I’ve been here the entire time. You’re the one
who left.”

Susan felt a hot wave
of anger rise up and roil in her chest, searing her lungs with its
intensity. She charged forward, her finger jabbing hard into
Kevin’s chest. “You don’t get to say anything about leaving!” She
started beating on his chest with her fists, and he grabbed her by
the wrists.

“Whoa, wait a minute.
What are you talking about?”

Since pushing against
Kevin proved to be fruitless--he wasn’t budging--Susan pushed
herself away from him, stumbling backward. When she spoke again her
voice trembled, and each word had the heightened edge of a
hysterical sob.

“You’re the one who
left me! You just left, got on a goddamn plane and left.” Susan’s
emotions crashed around her, shattering like pieces of crystal on
the ground. She took some deep breaths, panting. “You left me all
alone!”

She sounded freaking
hysterical. She held her hand over her mouth, trying to hold her
grief in. All that grief she’d been holding back for six whole
months. Grief over Kevin leaving her. She was shaking so violently
she was sure she was going to lose it.

“You weren’t alone.”
His voice sounded hollow in the darkness. “Liz was there. I
wouldn’t have left if you’d been alone.”

“
What a pal,”
she said, losing control. “Where’d you read that? In
GQ
? That it’s okay to leave the woman you’ve been
bedding high and dry as long as she’s got a friend on hand to cry
to! Hell, she thought I was crying about goddamn Mark!”

Kevin stood there in
the dark, his eyes wide and very bright in the moonlight; they
seemed to tremble. “I didn’t know you cried.”

“Because you
left!”

Kevin straightened
and shook his head, closing his eyes. “Yeah, but you certainly
didn’t try to follow me. Hell, you didn’t so much as text me for a
whole month. What was I, just an afterthought?”

Susan tore his tuxedo
jacket from her shoulders and threw it at him, spitting her next
words at him. “So, I’m inconsiderate for holding myself back to
give you time. What a bitch I am! But since you didn’t even text me
again for six fucking months, what the hell does that make
you?”

They were
standing so close, Susan seething, her eyes burning with rage,
Kevin staring down at her, looking guilty. Susan didn’t wait for
him to say anything, she just started yelling at him, not caring
what she said. “And I couldn’t even tell Liz. I couldn’t tell her
that I’d started lying to her. And then I started seeing that
shrink Dr. Garvin, and I bored her so badly that even
she
broke up with me!”