Rebound (Pro-U Book 3) (10 page)

Chapter 18

Natasha

I milled around my dorm room for the next hour, doing nothing but rehearsing all of the could have, should have, would haves over my night with Micah. Why didn't I stay awake and take advantage of our time together? Would it have led to sex?

"Most likely." I sat down on my bed and flopped back. The smell of his cologne was faint, but still there. I breathed in deeply and groaned. Why did I have to run into the right guy just a year before I was out? I'd planned to move halfway across the country after graduation just to get away from the northeast. With my mother being sick, I wasn't sure what was going to happen, but the hope still lay somewhere deep inside me that running far away would help ease the pain.

Now there was Micah to think about. Even if we were still just working on a solid friendship by then... could I leave? Would I want to give up on the hope that something bigger and better waited for the two of us around the corner?

My thoughts moved through the last few weeks and I let out a long sigh. Aubrey. I owed her an apology. We hadn't spoken since Midnight Madness and I couldn't blame her if she didn't want to see me again. We weren't necessarily friends, but we ran in the same group and it wasn't her fault that she'd bonded with my mother when I hadn't. I was hating on the wrong person and had to give that shit up.

I got up and picked up my phone, texting Em to send me Aubrey's number. The response came through much faster than I wanted it to, but getting the conversation over would help me release some of the guilt I was carrying around over being a bitch to her.

Texting would have been easier, but I was never one to take the easy route. I quickly decided that I had to be a masochist at heart for all the shit I put myself through.

"Hello?" Her voice was thick with sleep.

"Oh shit. It's only eight. I'm sorry, Aubrey. It's Natasha. Just call me back when you-"

"No! It's good." I could hear her moving around. "I needed to get up anyway."

"You sure?" I stood up and began to pace the floor. What was I going to say that wouldn't sound trite? I'm sorry? So overused.

"Yeah. I was hoping to grab a coffee and scone from that new bakery that opened up beside DeAngelos. You wouldn't wanna come with me, right?"

I glanced around the room, knowing that having to see her was even worse than having to apologize. Why in the hell would she want anything to do with me?

"That sounds great. I'll meet you there in thirty minutes?"

"Perfect. See you there." She dropped the call, and I let out a long groan.

Why did fate have to line me up with the one girl in this whole damn university that cared about the one person I hated? Why?

I changed and ran a brush through my hair before grabbing my keys and my basketball. The walk would take twenty minutes. I might as well work on my dribbling while I went. It's not like people hadn't seen me bounce the basketball just about everywhere I went for the last three years. It was somewhat expected. Basketball had become such a huge part of my life, and I was grateful for it. I needed to stop by and talk to my coach too. I'd left her hanging after her offer to counsel me if I wanted it. I didn't, but maybe that was my problem.

Her words about swallowing poison and hoping someone else would die ran circles in my head as I walked across campus. The chilly fall morning helped to calm my nerves and center me a little. I had some mending to do with both Aubrey and Coach Murphy. After I worked through those relationships, I needed to work through mine and Micah's. It was a little more than obvious that he wanted something from me far more than a friendship would provide. Was he working to win me over for a night? For a year? For a long time?

Nothing less than the final option would work for me. I didn't date or fuck around. It just wasn't my persona at all. I wanted long-term. If I was going in, I was diving in deep. So deep that it would be damn near impossible to resurface. Fear swelled in my chest at the thought of giving myself over to anyone and trusting them with my heart. So many of my limiting beliefs from childhood held me back from true relationships, and though I knew it, they were like a warm blanket of protection. Somehow that blanket had grown heavy - suffocating.

I tucked my ball under my arm and pulled the door open to the small bakery. A young guy with a mop of blond hair glanced up and smiled.

"Morning! Welcome to Hendrick's Bakery."

"Thanks." I glanced around and nodded toward a seat by the window. "I'm waiting on a friend. We'll order when she gets here."

"Awesome." He turned and busied himself as I sat down and pulled my phone out.

An unanswered message from my dad popped up. He was back in Boston and wanted to have lunch if I was free. I agreed, though I wasn't sure what frame of mind I might be in after talking with Aubrey. Either way, I wasn’t going to pass up the opportunity to see my dad and try to talk him into giving up the rest of the information on Mom's cancer. I sure as fuck wasn't asking her.

"Sorry if I kept you waiting." Aubrey stopped beside the table and smiled. Her long dark hair was in a high ponytail and she looked pretty outside of the dark circles under her eyes.

"No problem." I stood up and walked to the counter with her.

"My treat. Get whatever you want." She lifted her credit card. "My parents just loaded it back up. My mom will flip her shit to see I went to a bakery, but we're due a good fight over my weight anyway."

She snorted and moved up to order. I let her words sink in. It would seem that not everyone had the great life I'd painted in the background for them. Why did I think I was the only one with problems? It would seem most of us were jacked up in some way or another.

I ordered and walked back to the table as I tried to work through what I could say to her that would sound as sincere as I wanted it to.

"Tasha-"

"Aubrey-"

We laughed uncomfortably. I sat back in my chair and sighed.

"Let me go first."

"Sure." She nodded as her hands dropped in her lap. Something was bothering her terribly and I had no doubt it was Lucas or Layla. Maybe both?

"I'm really sorry for being a bitch the other night." I ran my fingers through my hair and forced myself to regain eye contact with her. "My mother and I have a horrible relationship, and I shouldn't have been jealous of what you have with her."

"I don't have anything with her." She reached across the table and offered me a tight smile. "She's mean as hell when I mess up and treats all of us like trash. It's only in the moments where I'm dancing like she wants or pushing myself past the breaking point that she's happy with me, but it's easy because it's just a few days a week. I do care about her, because she's my adviser, but if you think I've taken your place, you're wrong."

"I'm not sure she would give anyone a
place
." I shrugged. "I just needed to apologize for being so horrid. I was in shock when they announced that she hadn't been at school for a while. I had no clue."

"I'm sorry your relationship with her is so bad. My relationship with my mom is horrible too." She picked up her scone and took a big bite. "She'll bitch at me for weeks about eating this."

"Why? You're beautiful." I tilted my head to the side, wanting to offer her friendship, but not really knowing how to go about it. Emily and I were close because she forced herself on me. Clara and I got along really well because she was comical in her snootiness and had no one else, but Aubrey? She had everything she needed.

"Thanks. I finally have come to the realization that I'm happy being me. I have Lucas, who reminds me all the time that-" She paused and glanced down, visibly swallowing a few times. When she looked back up, tears lined her vision. "I'm sorry."

"No, it's okay." I reached across the table and squeezed her arm. "You miss him?"

"So fucking bad." She glanced up and pressed her napkin to her eyes as her lip trembled. "And something is up with Layla. She's taken the semester off to deal with some shit with her family and I miss her. I haven't seen her in a week or so, and honestly it's driving me crazy."

"Everyone seems worried about her." I released my hold on her and leaned back in my seat. "Well, it's not much, but I'm here if you need someone."

She wiped at her eyes and offered me a teary grin. "You have so much going on right now. So much more than me. I'm just weepy because I feel alone."

"Come with me to the Omega party tonight. I'm hoping to score some time with Micah Sanders, but it should be fun to let our hair down. I'll invite Emily and Clara too. It'll be fun." I found myself feeling a little better about everything. Maybe helping someone else was the key. It seemed to leave me feeling alive again each time I served at the pregnancy care center. Maybe it was more than just serving at a designated location, but really watching out for people that needed something right around me.

"Okay. I'd like that." Aubrey picked up her pastry and took a small bite. "How is your mom, if you don't mind me asking?"

"She's not doing good." I picked up my coffee and took a small sip. "I keep fighting myself on going over to check on her. I'm not anywhere near her favorite person in the world, not sure she has one of those anyway." I smiled. "She gets pretty pissy when I show up, so I just keep waiting for the next time she calls and needs me."

"What type of cancer is it?"

"No clue." I pursed my lips and let out a breath through my nose. "I'm having lunch with my dad today. Hopefully he'll have some answers to my questions. She's not telling me anything, but to be fair, I'm not asking either."

"And your dad is the coach for the Celtics, right?"

"Yeah. I didn't know anyone knew that."

"Emily told me and Layla awhile back when we asked about you." She gave me a sheepish smile. "I should have just asked you myself, but you didn't seem to want to talk too much."

"No, I usually keep to myself. Basketball has been my outlet for everything."

"That's dance for me." She took a quick sip of her coffee.

"So Lucas is playing for the Washington Capitals now?"

"Yeah." Her smile faded. "He's amazing."

"And what are your plans? Are you going to join him when you graduate?"

"That's the goal. I'm honestly thinking about just taking my last semester in Washington next spring and going up there so we can see each other more. I thought I would be able to get through this, but I'm a fucking basket case."

I smiled as she forced a laugh. "Whatever you need to do to make sure that you guys stay together... do it. That kind of love doesn't come around too often from what I've seen in my life."

"You're right." She tapped the table as her eyes grew glossy. I was almost jealous of what her thoughts might be. To give up everything for someone? I'd never imagined doing it, but watching her contemplate it made me want to experience that type of passion at least once in my life.

Chapter 19

Micah

"Hell yes! The Celts are playing tonight. Kicking off the season right by being at home! Turn the fucking TV on." Jacob walked through the living room and stopped by the couch.

"Hell no. The Capitals are playing tonight." Dillon tucked the changer in his pants and gave us all a cheeky grin.

"Thank you." Aubrey sunk down into the couch and focused on the TV as her expression hardened. I hated to see her so upset, but she and Lucas had taken a deep plunge together over the spring semester. I couldn't imagine agreeing to spend the rest of my life with Tasha and her moving halfway across the country.

Wait a minute...
Where was she headed in May after graduation? That had to be up in the air thanks to her mom being sick. Right?

"You all right?" Emily reached up and tugged on the front of my shirt. She sat beside Aubrey on the couch as the house continued to fill up with people.

I nodded and let my eyes move over to Aubrey. She glanced toward me and gave me a sad smile.

"You okay?" I asked her.

"I think so. I had breakfast with Tasha this morning. She invited me out tonight, but mentioned wanting to see you. Are you guys hooking up?"

"I sure hope so." I scanned the room and breathed in deeply. The cameras were in place and the food was laid out on the tables. People were dancing in the backyard and the wet t-shirt contest was well underway. I should have felt a sense of accomplishment like Jacob and I always shared when the parties went this well, but I wasn't interested in the success of the night. I just wanted to find my girl and make sure her day went well. It was an odd shift from promising myself that I would hold back until she was ready. Lies. It was all lies.

"I think you should." Aubrey got up and brushed away what looked like a tear.

I glanced down to see if Em was going to follow her friend into the kitchen, and when she didn't, I let out a soft sigh and moved in behind her.

"I'm going to work on the friendship and then move us toward something a little deeper when she's ready." I reached up and grabbed a paper towel, tearing it off and handing it to the pretty dancer. "Does Lucas know that you're this miserable without him? I'm pretty sure he'd tear up heaven and hell to keep you from crying."

"No, and don't tell him." She sniffled and lifted her chin to the ceiling. "I should go. I swear all I do is cry all the damn time."

"That's understandable, Aubrey." I reached out and pulled her to me, wrapping her in a hug like I would Emily. I didn't know her nearly as well, but I couldn't let her suffer by herself. Something inside of me had been searching for every bent or broken person or thing since I was a kid. It was my way of making up for Lyndsay, but I had no hope for it changing.

"Thanks," she mumbled against my chest. "I hate this place without him."

"Where is Layla?" I moved back and squeezed her shoulders softly. "Where's your brother?"

"He's killing himself trying to keep up with the hockey team and the baseball team. He's not made a decision to leave one and fully invest in the other. He's struggling with his classes too. Let's just say that being around him only makes things worse right now. He's a fucking bear to deal with."

"That's not good." I crossed my arms and leaned against the counter. "And Layla?"

"She took the semester off. She's got some family shit she's trying to deal with."

"Jacob's been worried sick about her. I swear he's turned into a grumpy old man between being concerned for Layla's safety and the bastard who keeps trying to dick over the frat." I ran my fingers through my hair and glanced around, hoping that Tasha was in the new wave of people that piled in the front door.

"I'm sorry to hear that. I'll make sure she calls him the next time I hear from her." She tucked her hands into the pockets of her jeans, looking impossibly cute. "Thank you for listening."

"Anytime. You guys will get through this. Love has the power to do anything, right?"

"Yeah. It does. I just wanna be close to him. It feels like I’m missing out on something great by being here and him being there. It's not worth it to me to wait. I can just finish up there."

"Then go." I tapped the tip of her nose and smiled. "Seems like you've made up your mind already. What are you waiting on?"

"Layla and my brother, to be honest." She let out a sigh and moved around me. "Thanks again, Micah. I appreciate you. Go find Tasha. You guys will be great together."

Warmth filled up my insides. We would be great together. Was she at the party already? Had I missed her coming in?

I moved toward the back door, only to be stopped by Thomas Hammons, one of the best baseball players I'd seen play. We grew up together, but rarely crossed paths at Providence.

"Hey buddy." He lifted his hand and smiled. "How are ya?"

I hit his hand and pulled him in for a quick hug. "I'm good, dude. How are your folks?"

"Excellent. Everyone is doing great. Abigail is playing softball in the spring and is hoping to try out for tennis maybe her sophomore year. I told her that's too damn much between trying to study and party, but she ain't listening. You know she's an overachiever like nobody’s business."

His dark red hair and freckles left him looking like he was still a junior in high school instead of college, but he was a great guy all around. No luck with the ladies at all, but life wasn't just about sex. At least my life wasn't.

"That's great, man. If anyone can pull that shit off, it's Abby. She's just like your mom. Ready to rule the world." I leaned over and picked up a beer. "Seen any girls that spark your interest tonight?"

"Yep, but the hottest one here is a class-a bitch. I heard she's a lesbian. She's not dated anyone since getting here." He pressed his hand to the front of his pants and chuckled. "I'd be thrilled to slip between her and whatever girl she has hiding in her closet of skeletons."

"And who is this lucky lady that you respect so much?" I lifted my eyebrow.

"Stop playing the gentleman. I remember high school, dude." He popped me in the chest.

"Don't remind me." I lifted my beer to my lips and downed half of it.

"Natasha Kelly, man. She's the point guard-" He paused and tilted his head to the side. "You know Tasha, don't you? You have to. Dude. Hook me up."

"No way man. She's way too much woman for a guy like you." I snorted as he laughed loudly. "She here?"

"Yeah. She's out back, drinking like a fish. Something must have fucked up her day. I wish I had the balls to ask, but she's the top on my list of fantasies. I'm a chicken shit around her."

"Join the crowd." I moved past him. "Have fun tonight, man. Good to see you out and about."

"Yep. Later, bosky."

I walked down the stairs and scanned the backyard as a mixture of emotions raged inside of me. I didn't like the idea that Tasha was getting drunk without me around, but even more so, I hated the thought that something had fucked up her day.

I found her standing in a group of basketball guys, laughing about something as she wobbled back and forth. The red solo cup in her hand left me ill. Had someone really put out another container of punch? How stupid were we not to notice?

I moved toward her as aggression built up inside of me.

"And then Coach did what?" Clayton pressed his hand over his mouth and laughed loudly as Natasha said something. I couldn't make it out from behind her, but I could tell her voice was slurred.

"Hey." I gripped the back of her arm. "Come here for a minute."

The guys groaned around her and I shot them a 'shut the fuck up' look.

"Micah!" She turned and pressed herself to the front of me. "There you are. I was looking for you."

"Were you, because I was in the living room, looking for you." I took the cup from her hand and tossed the pink liquid into the yard. "Have I not mentioned that some bastard around here keeps spiking the punch with a date rape drug? Don't drink this shit."

She took a step back as her expression changed. "No, you didn't, and you're not my daddy."

"Tasha." I reached for her, realizing how harsh my tone was. "I didn't-"

"Fuck you too, asshole!" The male voice behind me caused me to turn in time to see one of the hockey guys plow into Talon Jackson.

"Oh shit. Will's high again." Geoff laughed as I released Tasha and moved toward the fight.

"Will who?" I glanced over at Geoff as he held Teri tightly beside him.

"William Turner. He was a freshman on the hockey team and was seriously as badass as Lucas, but he fucked up. Got high a few too many times and got the boot."

"Great." I moved toward the fight in time to see Jayce Moore move up on the other side of it. "Hey man."

"Good seeing you, Micah. Nice party." He moved in and grabbed Will from behind as I grabbed Talon. We pulled them back away from each other.

I pushed Talon toward the house as anger tore up my insides. "What the fuck were you thinking?"

"He's trying to hit on my girl, Micah. You wouldn't stand for that shit either." He stumbled up the stairs to the house and stopped, turning around like he was going to plow through me. He was a good four inches taller than me, but I was stocky as hell. He wasn't going anywhere but off the side of the porch if he kept his bullshit up.

"I understand, but the rules are simple. No fights. Get your ass inside and you can figure out your girl problems later. Is she here?" I pushed at his chest, causing him to stumble backward into the house. He bumped into Darren, who turned and puffed up his chest.

"Watch where you're going, freshman bitch," he barked at Talon as he pushed him sideways.

I reached out and grabbed Talon's shirt before turning to Darren. "You're on a tight rope, mother fucker. Don't start anything tonight, or I'll personally make sure you limp away from this house in the morning with all your shit on your back. Got me?"

"Whatever, Sanders." He flipped me off and turned back to talk to the group of people he'd snuggled into.

"You all right?" I glanced over at Talon.

"Yeah, fuck it. Sorry man." He ran his fingers through his hair and headed to the kitchen. "Fucking Will Turner. Piece of shit bastard."

"Yep. Let it all out. You'll feel better in the morning," I called after him and waited a minute before jogging down the stairs to find Tasha. She was nowhere in sight, but Em and Jacob stood near the bonfire, snuggled up closely. "You guys seen Tasha?"

"No, but she had a rough day. Lunch with her dad really knocked her on her ass." Emily shrugged and pressed her cheek to Jacob's chest.

"Did she find out some more shit on her mom?" I tried to ignore the longing inside of me to have something like they did. I could sort through that emo shit later.

"Yeah. I'll let her tell you though." Emily nodded toward the house.

"I think she went back in the house." Jacob lifted his beer to his lips. "Everything okay with Talon?"

"Yeah. Just a fight over a girl. What else is new?" I turned and walked back toward the house. I'd get Tasha and take her up into my room until she came back to herself. There were too many bastards in the house that would be
thrilled
to take advantage of her.

"Lesbian?" I scoffed. "Not from my vantage point."