Rebuild (Love & Beyond #1) (27 page)

“No Jared, not this time, you hurt me alright, are you happy now that I’ve said it? Yes it may have been a silly comment, but words hurt and you can ask anyone, especially ones whose heads are fucked up. Look, let’s just face the fact that we’re obviously not meant for each other. Do you know what it feels like to try so hard to come back from something so horrific? It’s like no matter how much you try and rebuild yourself, your always left with this empty hole that you cannot fill and I’ve tried to fill it numerous of times, but it always stays the same. I’m going to be forever broken Jared why can’t you see that? You and I, we’re bad news, especially after what you said, you showed me up you know? How can we be together if I’m forever going to question myself that there is someone better out there for you?”

“Danni, that’s absurd! When are you finally going to realize I don’t want anyone else, there’s no one in this world that has anything on you! It’s always been you. I don’t want these models, easy chicks, they’re false! You’re real, the one I think about from the moment I wake up, until the time I go to sleep and even then I can’t escape you, as you’re in my dreams. Why would I want anyone else, when I have you? I don’t care that you’re broken or that you feel that you’re empty inside, I want to be the one who fills that hole up, isn’t that the whole point of being with your soul mate? You bring out the best in each other, help each other and fight by each other’s side till the day we die?” I remove his hands from my face and look away, my head starts to hurt again.

“Jared, you’re not getting it, you and I, are not meant for each other, I can’t help but feel like that! Plus, I don’t know if I can trust you, you may find it silly, but it really hurt me you saying that, you know I have no self confidence. The only time I felt good, was when I was with you. So for them words to come out from your mouth, it ripped me apart. So, no! I don’t believe we’re meant for each other, let alone soul mates. If that was the case, we would be together wouldn’t we?”

“I refuse to believe that, you’re just afraid! I didn’t realize how much you were still recovering and I’ll show you.” He grabs me up with a sling of his arm, I try to walk away but he grabs me back and brings me closer to him. He folds his arms around my waist, which forces me to look him straight in to his eyes. I try to fight away from his gaze, but I’m too weak! He captures my soul once again. “I’m sorry for being an ass before, but I was hurting, but that’s no excuse; you’re everything to me, my heart and my soul, you bring out the best in me! I just want you, no one else. I will follow you to the end of the earth and back, just to be held in your embrace. When we’re together, it’s like electricity sparks out and no one can come near us. Now if that is not a sign we’re meant for each other, then what is?” Before I know it, our lips have collided, that once sensational kiss is back where it belongs, against mine. He’s right; we’re in a bubble of our own, with sparks coming from every direction. I open my eyes to say, I surrender to you and everything I’ve longed for. I bring my knees up and curl myself into his chest, which we stay there for a good fifteen minutes trying to come back down from this ecstasy. He awakens the silence and whispers in my ear. “No more running, Danni! It’s me and you against
the world, our love will concur all.” I don’t reply, I stayed curled into his chest, scared of our future and everything that will be coming our way.

    Chapter Twenty Three

It’s been over a month since Jared and I, finally sorted ourselves out and we’re inseparable. He’s also been staying in my apartment, he hates it, he says it far too small, but he puts up with it for me. We’re apart at the moment, as he had to run off to the shops for something. He said, he needed to buy something for the apartment to put his edge on it, whatever that means. Me, I’m coming back from Andi’s, I was babysitting my little god children. Yes, they both asked Jared and I, to be god parents, I felt so blessed when they asked me. Darla and Carl are over later to tell me all about their honeymoon; they only got back a couple of days ago. I’ve been really busy as well; people have wanted to do interviews with me. So I built up the courage to eventually say yes, it was nerve wrecking, but I got through. I hear a bing come from my pocket, that’s my email. That’ll be Jared, checking in,
sometimes it can be cute, but other times it can piss me off, as he will either email me or texts, or he’ll get Andrew to call.
You think he’d of got bored of checking in by now.

[email protected]
:
Hey, beautiful! Just my daily check in! Are you ok? I should be back at the apartment for four; I’ve got a big surprise.

Love J

P.S. Do you know what today is?

What’s today? I’ve I forgot something? Surly, it can’t be that important for me to forget?

[email protected]
:
Ok! You’ve caught me, I don’t have a clue what today is. It’s not your birthday is it? If so, I’m sorry!!!!

Love D

Duh! It can’t be his birthday, I’m pretty sure it was when I was at the lake house. My memory is terrible. I suck, there goes my email again.

[email protected]
:
They say men are worse for forgetting dates, I’m shocked at you Miss Shaw. Think about where you were a year ago? You may call me mushy for this, but hey, only for you. The first time we met, well the second time, we don’t count the first night were I called you a fifth wheel. How can you not remember? Tut, tut Miss Shaw.

Love you.

From J

Oh crap, has it been that long already? I’ve lost track of time. Bless, Jared for remembering himself that is well sweet.

[email protected]
:
Oh, yeah! I forgot about that, you can’t hold that against me, it’s been one eventful year. Awe, check you out being all sweet and remembering, people would call you whipped. Me, I think it’s romantic. Brownie, points?  ;-)

Love you too.

Love D

I’ll make it up to him, somehow. I best hurry to the coffee shop; I’m supposed to be meeting Darla and Carl there, like ten minutes ago. We’re meeting at our favourite coffee place, the staff that work there, make you feel welcome and they’re really friendly.

“Hey, guys! Have you been waiting long? How tanned do you guys look, I’m well jealous. Don’t stand next to me; you’ll put me to shame.”

“Hey, baby girl! You look radiant! What have we missed in the last three weeks? Seeing as the last time we spoke, you where a wreck.”

“
Love you too, Carl! Well I've done a few interviews, since it came out that Jared and I were official. The press was all up on that, even though before then when we were on and off, so to speak. This time because he was doing a public conference and he had me by his side, the questions were rolling in and let’s just say they were very insightful, to say the least. From then on, loads of people wanted interviews with me and him, some even just wanted me. Anyway, how was Tunisia?”

“It was great; we didn’t want to come home, we spent most of our time on the beach, the sea was crystal blue. We did site seeing, but not too much as it’s not really our thing and never has been. I have to say, Danni! That’s a big step for you, we’re proud. It’s about time you started embracing life. See how good this man is for you and all you could do was fight your stubbornness; I’m glad you came to your senses. So are you happy? I mean, for real this time?”

“Yes, I am! It’s a new beginning for me. It’s been a long time, waiting.” Where interrupted by the waitress.

“Excuse me! Sorry for interrupting.
Firstly this picture has your name on, so here you go and
I also wanted to say a big thank you.”

“What for?”

“You helped me have faith in leaving my ex, he was abusive too. I’ve seen the news about you and what your ex did to you. I know how much courage it must have taken you to leave him and pick yourself back up again. Don’t get me wrong, he wasn’t as bad as yours, but he was still a monster. Anyway, seeing how much you overcome it all and all that courage you showed in that situation was amazing. I thought that if you could fight back, then so could I. You became my role model and ever since then I’ve looked up to you, because of you, I got out and I just want to say thank you for the faith that you put in for not just only me, but for other women like us, because of you I’m still standing here today.” My heart as just melted, that has to be the sweetest thing someone could say. It’s strange, but sweet how a painful memory has helped others like me. I put my hand out for her to shake. I feel awkward now; this is the last thing I’d ever expect.

“Thank you! I didn’t know I had that effect on people. I’m glad you got out; well done! I know how hard it would’ve been for you. Just think, for your courage and strength, you’ve got great opportunities coming your way, I’m happy to have helped.” Her face lights up and flows out a huge grin, that is amazing.

“Anyway, can I take your orders?”

“Three coffee’s please, do you guys want anything to eat?”

“No, just coffee.”

“Sure, it’ll be about five minutes.” Ok, why are Darla and Carl staring at me? They look speechless; I’m guessing they weren’t expecting that, neither was I.
I have a quick look at the picture I was giving, is she sure this is for me? It’s a picture of Jared, in an old car, it’s not one I’ve seen, he only looks about twenty and he does not look well at all. I turn the picture around and it says ‘Jared, July 2006 where it all started, Soon’ erm ok! Seriously, someone is playing games already. Forget it, I’ll bin this and not tell Jared, he’ll fuss. Darla and Carl are still staring at me.

“Guys, quit staring at me, your making me feel uncomfortable. Anyway.. Apparently a year ago today, I went on my first date with Jared, in Rome. At the time, I thought he was being nice, but how bad is this? I forgot and he remembered ha-ha.”

“Really? That has flown by, hasn’t it? What was the picture? Your face looked confused? Anyway, let’s not stall this any longer. Danni, we’re moving! Not too far, it’s only about an hour and half drive away. We found this beautiful family home, massive front and back garden. It’s perfect for the kids, when we eventfully have them.” Well that sucks, the disappointment rushes through me. A part of me wishes they wouldn’t, but that’s selfish.

“Oh, the picture is nothing important. And wow, ok, I can’t say I’m not disappointed because I love you guys, but I’m happy for you, as long as you’re both happy, then I am. I’ll miss you guys not being around the corner anymore. You will come and visit though? When do you move?”

“We looked at the house the other day, we lied! We’ve been back for over a week. We put the deposit down, so we can move into the house in a few weeks. Don’t worry, we’ll visit as much as we can and you’re more than welcome to come and visit us. We’ll miss you so much, Danni! And it makes me want to cry the thought that you won’t be around the corner anymore, but we want to do this.

“Three musketeers, always and forever, baby girl.”

“Don’t you cry, you’ll kick me of then. Right, let’s shake tears off, all in, come here.” We go in for a group hug; I’m going to miss our coffee mornings. The waitress interrupts us again with our drinks. So we release each other and sit back down. “We’ll have to throw you guys a leaving party, so you can leave with a bang. I can get Jared to sort it all out; he’ll get you guys the best place for your send off. Speak of the devil, that’s him on my email.”

[email protected]
:
I like the idea of brownie points, I’m cashing that in tonight. ;-) Make sure you go home soon; I’m taking you out tonight. It’s about time I show you proper romance. How are Darla and Carl? Tell them I say Hi.

Love J

“Jared say’s, hi guys.”

[email protected]
:
Sure, babe, will do! I need cheering up anyway; they’ve just dropped a bombshell on me. They’re moving away, it’ll be strange not having them around the corner anymore. See you later.

Love D

“Right guys, I need to head off, apparently I’m going out tonight. It was great seeing you guys, I’m happy you both had a great honeymoon. We shall arrange to go out for a meal before you guys leave, you know, before your party. Bye guys.”

“Alright hun, are you sure your ok? Have a great time tonight and he better go all out to show you a good time. Bye Danni.”

“Honestly, I’m fine! I’m happy for you guys and I’ll have to come and see the house before you move in. I need to inspect the neighbourhood if you are going to be bringing baby freed to this world. Speak to you guys later, bye.”

                                                   *****

Back at the apartment, I give Andi a quick call and then Adam, to fill them in on Darla and Carl’s news and to organize a date to throw them a party. The twins are doing well, I know I only seen them earlier, but you always have to ask, I’m such a possessive auntie. They’re not sleeping to good, so I’ve offered to take them of her hands for a night next week, so they both can have a break, they sound absolutely shattered. She’s too stubborn to ask for help. I don’t understand why Andi didn’t say anything, when I was over there earlier though.

I’m undecided about what to wear tonight; maybe I should go for the usual, a cocktail dress. I normally wear black because you can’t go wrong with black, it suits everyone, but because I don’t know what type of night I’m in for, I’m clueless. Maybe if I email Jared, he could give me a quick description. Screw that! I’ll call him it’s quicker. Oh, but what if he’s in a meeting? I know he only went the shops, but he’s forever getting called back and forth to sort stuff out. I’ll just call him anyway. It rings and rings for a few minutes, but he eventually answers.

“Hey, Danni! What’s up? Is everything ok?”

“Everything is fine, did I disturb you?”

“No!”

“Ok, I just want to know, what sort of night are we in for? I’ve not got a clue what to wear, I don’t want to be over or under dressed. So can you see the dilemma here?”

“I did say a romantic night, so use your imagination, I’ve got to go, bye.” He’s just hung up on me, what a tool and he sounded off, what the hell is that about? Well that was useless, screw it! I’ll just wear my halter neck, silk patterned top with a black pencil skirt. Wait, no! That seems a little underdressed. I’ve got it, I’ll wear my white tight, cocktail dress, it’s slightly different to my usual, but I need to try new styles anyway. I’m knocked from my thoughts with a loud knock to the front door, who could that be? I’m not expecting anyone. As I open the door, a team of beauty therapist come barging past me. How rude.

“Excuse me; I think you may have the wrong apartment.”

“Danni Shaw, right?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Then we have the right apartment then, Mr Hall booked us. He’s paid for you to have a full on pamper session, which includes. Full body massage, a manicure and a pedicure and your hair and makeup, so shall we get started?” What is he up to? I’m curious now, I need to know. There goes my phone again. That’s probably him.

“Yeah, sure! Can you give me a moment please?”

[email protected]
:
You’re welcome.

Love J

“How long will this take?”

“A few hours, so we best get to work. Jump on to the massage bed.” I’m going to be exposed to random people touching me, that is weird. What if they look at me strange and freak out when they see my scars? I can deal with the neck one, but my stomach one is horrific.

“Do you have to massage my stomach? Can you miss that one please?”

“Sure, if that’s what you want.”

“Thanks!” Thank god, I can relax now and leave them to work there mojo.

That was relaxing, I nearly fell asleep. All they need to do now is my makeup. I’m feeling pretty good right now, my nails look great; my whole body is feeling refreshed and silky soft. I’ve asked to know what they’ve used on my skin, so that I can buy some for a daily use.

“Don’t be offended when I ask you this, because I mean nothing by it. Would you like me to cover up the scar on your neck? I have the makeup for it. I mean that in no disrespect.”

“No! Its fine, can you do that?”

“Yeah! I have a master’s degree in theatrical makeup. They teach you how to create scars, gashes, everything you could think of, even covering them up. It’s all about the right makeup.”

“Go for it! If I jump a little, please excuse me, I’m not a big fan of being touch. I’ve only just got use to Jared touching me.”