Rebuild (Love & Beyond #1) (21 page)

“Is everything ok, Andrew?”

“Yeah, I’ve just had a right ass kicking of Jared, for leaving the house.”

“That’s not your fault though; you thought the email was him.”

“Yes, but I should’ve of called to double check if it was him mam. Trust this to happen when I was out for the night treating the family, typical.” I rub my hand on his broad shoulder for comfort.

“There was nothing you could do Andrew, it’s not like you knew. You’re not physic; leave it with me, I’ll talk to him.”

“Mam, please don’t! Anyway, stop worrying about everyone else and think of yourself. I get it, you were less hurt, but mentally, you were damaged worse. Especially, because it must have been like reliving the past and yet you’re the one standing here concerned about everyone else? Others would have crumbled by now; I admire your strength mam.” I smile to show my gratitude for his concern, because I really have no idea what to say back, as I’m not sure if I deserve his concern.

“Is Jared in there by himself? Or does he have visitors?”

“Julie is in there with him mam.” Oh great, this is not going to go down well, she’s already got a problem with me.

Soon as I walk in they’re both staring towards my way. As always, Jared’s face lights up every time he sees me, it’s adorable. Julie is doing the opposite, she throws evil daggers at me with her mind; I swear, if looks could kill, I’d be on the floor right now. Great, another person that blames me, suppose I can’t blame them. I ignore her completely and show a big smile for my love and head to his side. I peck him on his head and pass him his coffee.

“Hey, babe!”

“Hey, handsome! This is for you.”

“Thank you! Julie, could you give me and Danni a minute please, I need to speak to her about something.” As she gets up and walks towards the door, still locking her eyes to me, she politely says to Jared.

“Sure.”

“So, I’m guessing your sister still wants my head on a plate?”

“She’s just looking out for me Danni; she’ll get use to it in the end, as she knows how serious I am about you.”

“So, what’s up? What do you need to speak to me about?”

“I’ll just jump straight to it, you shot him Danni. A bit reckless, don’t you think? I was kind of out of it, as I was struggling to reach you, but I was still able to see the look in your eye. It was one I’ve never seen on you before, it was darkness. I understand that with everything he did to you, the bastard deserved it, I guess I’m worried. You’re walking around like your alight, but I can tell your not, you need to accept that and let people help you. What did the police say about his shot knees?” Oh, I really did not want this conversation. Why can’t he just leave it? I suppose I can’t run from it now, I can always try and change the subject.

“There was some strange, freaky woman outside your room yesterday; she kind of gave me the creeps. She didn’t leave a name or anything, she just said she knew you and when she was leaving, she asked about Andi, but she doesn’t know Andi. It left me puzzled, any idea who it could be?”

“Nice try, Danni. Don’t change the subject. I don’t have a clue who that female was, but I’ll have the guards check it over.”

“Look, I’m not going to lie to you! I wanted to kill him; I wanted to end his life, like he did mine. I’ve never felt so much anger and hatred for one person; he’s taken so much from me Jared, I wanted him dead! Hey, I still do. Even more now knowing what he’s done to you and my sister, yes there’s no prove but It’s obvious that it’s linked. If you are wondering why I never, then that’s easy. I was looking straight in his eyes, seeing nothing but his black soul and I was ready to pull that trigger, I badly wanted to. Then I heard you in the background and could see your face, it was full of sadness, as if you were about to lose everything if I made that step. So I couldn’t go through with it! In that moment, I realized how much you cared and I just didn’t want to let you down. Look, if you want to talk about what happened, then everything has to be said alright?” He nods in agreement. I pace myself for a second, because I’m not sure if I’m ready to know if he does have any secrets, like Dillon said. Here we go. “Firstly, he told me that you had secrets, ones you don’t want me knowing? He read your journal, which I have to add Jared, that’s weird your only young, that’s an old man’s hobby.” I thought that would lighting the mood, but I guess it didn’t, as he looking rather shocked. He’s shaking his head in disbelief.

“He did what? What a prick! I have no secrets, Danni. I’ve got no idea what he’s on about. He was probably playing with your head; he is that evil after all.”

“He also said that I’m the one for you, how much you love me and you want marriage and kids. Look, I’m happy to know all of that, but if that’s what you want, I’m not the girl for you, as I can’t give you that. I should have told you sooner, but I guess I didn’t want to believe it. I can’t have kids and knowing that it’s what you want, it just makes it much harder for us to be together.” I put my head down in shame, I feel as if every part of me is about to break.

“Danni! It really doesn’t matter, honestly.” He pauses because he can’t finish that sentence. There it is, all in his face, it’s like his dreams are crashing before his eyes. That disappointment in his face makes the tears appear, my poor baby.

“Jared, look at me! Don’t try and hide your dreams because of me, you need to know that I love you more than anything in this world. You gave me hope, happiness and you made me see that I shouldn’t be afraid, you showed me true love. You deserve to have all your dreams come true and have your own adorable family. How can I give that to you? Look what I’ve brought into your life, bad publicity, stress; you’re in hospital because of me, Jared. You want to know how much this kills me, knowing that I’ve done this to you. You’re better off without me. Look, once you’re up and running again I’m leaving, I need to get away from all of this. Me going away, is the one good thing to come from all this, then you and Andi and everyone I love, is safe.” I’m trying to hold together, but my heart feels like its being stomped on by a herd of elephants. The worse part about this is Jared’s face; it’s as if I’ve stabbed his heart a hundred times over. He takes a gulp and straightens his face as he’s noticed he was showing emotion.

“Danni! Come on, don’t do this, just let it go, don’t run. Yes I want kids in the near future, but I can deal with not having any if it means having you in my life. You can’t walk from me; you’re so frustrating at times, this is damn right selfish of you.” He snaps. Wow, I’ve been struck by lightning that was hurtful, I was not expecting that.

“How am I being selfish? It’s called doing what’s right.”

“That’s bullshit and you know it! You’re running away. Look, I’m not trying to be a douche bag saying this. Do you have any idea what you mean to me? Don’t turn your head away from me when I’m talking to you, look at me when I say this Danni. I love you more than words can express, I mean, I didn’t know what love was until you came into my life, it was if an angel was sent down to me. You weren’t the only one lost Danni, you think I saved you? Deep down, you saved me. I’d be lost without you, you bring meaning to my life; don’t take that away from me. I don’t need kids, I need you.” That sorrow sound in his voice is unbearable! I go to put my arms around him and he sweeps them away. I start to weep because he knows deep down, just like I know; I’m going no matter what. I feel like I need to do this, to protect him and everyone I care about. I don’t care that he swept my arms away; I go back and wrap my arms around him sobbing into his shoulder.

“Babe, you know I only do stuff like this with good reason, I have to go, I’m sorry. But please don’t question my love for you because it’s all real.”

“Fine! If you want to leave then go now, because I can’t have you around me, knowing you’re leaving me.” He says, clearly heartbroken. I wish he understood.

“Jared, don’t be like that, I want to stay with you until you get better.”

“No! I don’t want you here if you’re leaving. Obviously, your feelings mean nothing to you, if this is how you want to play.”

“Jared, don’t be stupid! My feelings are all true, but fine! If that’s what you want, I’ll respect your wishes and leave now.” As I’m heading towards the door, he shouts back to me.

“Danni, if you run now, I’m not coming after you. If you run, I walk, simple. You can’t keep doing this, so what’s it going to be?” My breathing stops, as those words are crushing my soul, but I know this is for the best. So I hold my head up high and without looking back I walk out. I run towards the entrance, I don’t want to stop. Soon as I’m outside, I’m bomb barded by a ton of paparazzi. I try and get past them all, but I can’t see there all asking questions.

“Miss Shaw, what happened? How do you feel about your ex having an accomplice? Why are you crying? Come on, the people have the right to know.” I can’t deal with all these questions, flashing lights from the cameras. I’m trying to get away, but none of them will let me past. My throats is closing up, oh god, I can’t breathe. My heart has starting to race, here comes the panic attack.

“Danni, come here.” A voice says, someone has grabbed my hand and dragging me through the crowd and pushes me into a car and speeds of. I can hear the screech of the wheels spinning. I look to see who it is and thankfully it’s my brother, I’m so glad to see him. My big brother, Adam! Comes to my rescue once again; He’s tall, shaven bald head, olive skin tone, really bulked out, the only part of him that looks soft is his brown eyes.

“Thanks, Adam! Not like I’m not happy to see you, but what are you doing here?”

“Why do you think? I’ve seen the news, why didn’t you call me?”

“I was going to; I just didn’t get around to calling you.”

“I’m taking you to mine, alright.” I nod and gaze out the car window drifting off into my thoughts. Jared must hate me; I don’t see why he can’t just understand that it’s for his best interests. All though, I feel as if my heart as been ripped out from my chest. I can’t believe he kicked me out like that.

As we’re driving up his drive way, I notice another car, it’s quite flashy, I couldn’t say what it is, as I’m no good with cars and they just get me places. Walking up to Adams home and it is huge and his home is a beautiful cottage, it’s homely I love it. I turn to face him and go.

“Have you been holding out from us bro?” He smiles, which I’ve not seen in a while.

“You can’t talk, peanut! You’re well off yourself; you’ve just not needed to use it, well not wanted too. Now you’re shacking up with a billionaire, so you probably never will.”
Just like that my smile slips away from my face, being replaced with a look of disappointment. The sorrow washes over me and takes my strength. I hang my head dejected, looking at the ground.
“Awe sis, I’m sorry! I didn’t think. I was only joking, come here. Suppose it was bad timing for the joke, my bad.”
He walks towards me raising his arms and gives me a bear hug and starts squeezing the life out of me, I forgot how strong he was, I mange to gasp out.

“Ok, bro! I can’t breathe, let me go.”

“Forgive me?”

“Ok! I forgive you, please let go.”

“Where’s the love sis?”

“Are you kidding me? I had a horrific time the other night; I’m physically and mentally exhausted. I’m sure you can let me off with the lack of love.” It makes me give of a slight grin, because I think it’s sweet that he’s trying to lighting my mood. He’s normally not this friendly and upbeat, so I appreciate his attempt to try cheering me up.

We walk into his cottage and straight into his lounge, where I notice a woman sat down. As she turns around to look at us, my blood starts to boil. I can’t believe this, is he taking the piss? What the hell is she doing here? I thought she was at the hospital?

“Seriously, Adam! Her? You know that she hates me right? Please tell me that you're just friends and you’re consoling her because her brother is in hospital? She is Jared's sister, how could you? How long has this been going on for?” I don’t take my eyes of her, at this moment; I just want to tear her apart. You know, I’m not waiting for an answer. “Oh you have a cheek, you constantly give me grieve about your brother and wanting me to stay away from him, but yet your screwing mine. Does, Jared now?” She has an answer for everything and now this is the time she stays quiet, which is pissing me off more. “I take that as a no then? You where just at the hospital, how the hell did you get here before me? Unless you have a key, are you fucking kidding me?” I turn my attention to my brother ready to explode. “Oh, don’t think you’re off the hook either. You’re forever telling me how much you can’t stand Jared and you’re screwing his sister? How fucking hypocritical can you get? Let me guess, this was the plan all along? You thought if you both hounded me and Jared about hating us, hoping you’d break us up? Well you both should be happy, it worked, I broke up with him. So there you go, clap your hands, a job
well
fucking done.” I storm of towards the sofa and throw myself down; this is far too much information I’ve had in the last few days. How much more can I deal with?

“Hold up! You broke up with my brother? Are you insane?” I look puzzled at her outburst, what the hell?

“Ok! So let me get this straight, one minute your warning me to not hurt him and not accepting me. Now you’ve got what you want, I’m in the wrong? Do you have some sort of personality disorder or something? This is backwards.” I need to calm down, my heart is racing and I’m feeling nauseated with all this conflict.