Recaptured Dreams (31 page)

“Here it is.” Sophia held out her plane ticket to New York as she sat down on the living room couch. Her clammy hands clutched it like a rickety lifeboat, and her heart was roaring in her ears.

“You’re going to tell him?” Anne Marie asked as she took a seat next to her. It had been a week since she’d given Sophia that annoying speech in bed.

“I have to. He may not want me anymore, but he needs to know about his child.” She missed him so much that it hurt in a way she couldn’t even explain. Sometimes it was hard to breathe, hard to think, let alone actually
live.

“When’s the flight?”

“Next weekend. I needed to give myself a little more time.”

“Why don’t you just ring him?”

Sophia shrugged. “Seeing him in person seemed the proper thing to do. Plus, the trip will give me a chance to sort things out.”

Anne Marie shot her friend a condescending look. “Isn’t that what you’ve been doing for the past four weeks?”

“Stop. I need more time before I face him. Imagine a man who spent his entire adult life waiting for me only to find out we’ve lost a child he’d never known for certain we’d conceived, and now I’m going to have another child of his, and he can’t stand to even look at me. It’s going to be a pretty unpleasant conversation, so I need to prepare myself.”

Anne Marie murmured something under her breath.

“What?”

“Oh, nothing. I think it’s good you’re going to New York to face your demons. Hey, there’s a
Spring is in the Air
fashion show going on next weekend that showcases up-and-coming designers. We should go whilst we’re there.”

“We?”

“Well, yes. I thought I would provide my dearest friend with some company, a shoulder to cry on, or anything else she might want in her time of need.” Anne Marie gave Sophia a gentle hug. “It’ll be fun.”

Sophia relented. “All right. He won’t be there, though, will he?”

“Xavier? Why would he be? He’s famous, remember? Not an up-and-comer.”

True. But what if he liked to see the new designs? Then Sophia would have to see him before she was ready.

She frowned at herself. No time would be a good time. She needed to face the facts and realize there was no way to get
ready
for this type of thing. She didn’t know if he would even see her once she arrived in New York, but somehow she had to tell him the truth about their child.

The doorbell chimed, and Anne Marie went to answer it.

“What are you doing here?” Sophia asked in utter shock when her mother walked into the living room.

“Sophia,” Katherine said quietly. “I know you’re upset with me. But I have something to say, and I shall not leave here until I have said it.”

“Fine—talk.”

“I’m sorry.”

Sophia snorted; this had to be a joke. “Sorry?”

“Yes, dear.” Katherine crossed the room and sat down on the edge of the suede couch. “I’m sorry for not being honest with you. I’m sorry for not telling you the reasons I did what I did. And I’m sorry I put this wedge between us.”

Sophia’s arms dropped to her sides, which suddenly weighed as much as concrete blocks.

“Please sit,” Katherine asked.

Sophia slid into the chair next to her, unable to take any actual steps as Katherine proceeded to tell her all about both of her grandmothers and the circumstances revolving around Sophia’s upbringing. About her father’s conflicted sense of duty between daughter and mother. While the story continued, Sophia did her best to seem as though she was calm and collected. She wasn’t.

“So,” Katherine concluded, “I did everything I did to protect you from making the same mistakes. We
both
thought we were helping you, but we were wrong.”

Sophia’s memories pieced things together into a frightening reality. “That’s why you two fought after the accident. He wanted to tell me the truth.”

Katherine nodded, still casting her eyes away. “You see, his mother’s approval was important to both of us, me especially. But after he saw your hurt through the eyes of a father, he couldn’t take it. You would wander around the house, crying, and kept saying that you felt like something was missing. And that you wouldn’t be whole until you found out what it was. As a mother, I felt it as well. It broke my heart, Sophia, really it did.” She blew out an unsteady breath. “But what was done was done. I thought telling you the truth at that point would only make it worse.”

Sophia’s eyes stung with unshed tears. “Why are you telling me this now?”

“Because I stole your future and you needed to know. I’m so sorry.”

Sophia rose and stepped toward her mother. She stretched out both arms, and Katherine’s eyes went wide in surprise.

“Thank you,” Sophia whispered as she held her mother in a long embrace, the first one in a long time. It was a small step in the right direction. “You may have had something to do with the past, but I’m the one who ruined my future.”

Katherine drew away. “Are you going to try to fix it?”

“I’m afraid it’s too late for that. But I am going to tell him about his child.”

Katherine’s jaw dropped. “What?”

“I’m pregnant. Xavier is the father.”

Katherine folded back down in her chair like a deflating balloon. “Oh…my…bloody h—”

Sophia gasped in shock. “Mother!” Katherine simply stared at her with wild eyes. “In all my years I’ve never heard language like that from you.”

“I’m…I’m shocked. That’s all, dear. I wouldn’t have expected this.”

Sophia bit her bottom lip. “Me neither.”

“What’s next, then?”

“The truth for him. But it’s the end for us. I’ve hurt him, and he doesn’t trust me. I lost him because of
me.
” Sophia failed to hide the unease in her voice.

Katherine took Sophia’s hand and gave it a squeeze. “Are you sure?”

Chapter Twenty

S
OPHIA
F
OUND
H
ERSELF
in the last place she wanted to be: New York, getting ready to attend the
Spring is in the Air
fashion show. She’d have rather been holed up in her hotel room and mulling sadly until her scheduled meeting with Xavier. She’d been rather surprised when Xavier’s secretary had so willingly and excitedly set up the appointment.

But instead of eating a quart of vanilla bean ice cream and silently wishing her life was different, Sophia had let Anne Marie drag her to the show. Anne Marie had hoped it would lighten Sophia’s mood. So far it hadn’t. The only thing Sophia could think about was the fact she would see Xavier in less than twenty-four hours, and she had no idea what she was going to say.

The car drove up to the tents, and Sophia found it hard to breathe. Déjà vu raised goose bumps on her skin.

One more day
, she told herself as she stepped out of the limo. One more day and she could go back to the comfort and security of her flat. She would rest there until she decided what to do with the remainder of her life.

Taking her seat in the front row, she reminded herself that she had a child to raise. A special life to give it. Her only job now was to make the baby as happy and as healthy as she possibly could.

If she only accomplished one thing in life, it would be to make sure her child wanted for nothing. It would have her love, unconditional and absolute. She would not make the same mistakes as her parents or grandmother. She would make sure her baby was happy, even if it meant sacrificing happiness for herself. And she would remember that the child had been conceived in love.

The last designer on the program was up, but where in the bloody hell was Anne Marie? She had missed the last three lines entirely. She’d probably gotten distracted by some handsome man on her way to the bathroom. That girl never surprised Sophia with her affection for the opposite sex. Anne Marie would be sad if she missed the next line, though. According to the program, it was a last-minute addition and promised to bring what it called “
excitement and heart-stopping emotion never before seen at the spring show
.”

Sophia glanced again at Anne Marie’s empty seat and frowned. Focusing back on the entrance to the runway, she hoped her friend would make an appearance soon.

The bright white light dimmed to a muted but glowing gray that washed over the audience. It looked like the tent had opened up as millions of pieces of tiny silver glitter showered down from the ceiling. The light brightened ever so slightly and reflected a rainbow of colors over the audience.

Orchestral music played, beautiful harmonies of strings and flutes. The first model appeared wearing a short bubble dress made of chiffon. It was the most striking marine blue Sophia had ever seen, almost the color of the ocean she’d seen in the Hamptons. The dress had a strapless bodice and an empire waist with beading and metallic embroidery. Simply perfect.

The model stopped at the end of the runway, but she didn’t turn around to walk back; she only stood in place. The music continued as the next model walked out, and to Sophia’s surprise, she was wearing the same dress as the first girl. Exactly the same. That model likewise stopped at the end of the runway and stood next to the other one. A third girl came out in the identical outfit, and then another.

Sophia scrunched her face. What type of designer would have an entire line of the exact same dress?

When the fourth girl stopped next to the others, the music hushed, and the lights went black. A spotlight flicked on, aimed at the entrance to the runway. Mendelssohn’s “Wedding March” rang through the speakers.

Sophia’s mouth opened as the next model stepped into the light. Gliding across the now glittering stage was a woman draped in a long white A-line dress. The snug bodice was thickly trimmed along the top with the same marine blue adorning the other dresses, and the trim itself was heavily embroidered with intricate designs and perfectly placed glass beads that sparkled and shimmered as the dress swayed. The woman’s face was cloaked in a tulle veil stopping just below her chin.

When the model walked by, Sophia was stunned at the sight. The marine blue trim hugging the top of the bodice wrapped around the body and flowed seamlessly down the back of the gown. At the waist, the white fabric split and widened in an upside down V, showing a glimmering display of blue. It was velvet and elaborately embroidered with flowers. Flanked by the white satin on both sides, it flowed all the way to the floor into a curved chapel train.

It was a wedding dress. A breathtaking wedding dress. And the other girls were bridesmaids. Sophia tried to catch her breath. The glistening beads, the dazzling lights, and the music. It all came together in one striking show.

The wedding march stopped, and the orchestra started up again. The spotlight glided back to the entrance of the runway, and Sophia angled her head toward the curtain. What could possibly come after the bride?

Xavier Cain strode out, once again commanding the runway with a cool smile, confident steps, and a determined gleam in his eye.

Sophia had to blink several times. Surely she was seeing things…

He was dressed in black pants, a blue collared shirt, and a black tie, all trimmed out with a shiny platinum vest. Xavier’s outfit matched the rest of the wedding display, and as his face flushed under the spotlight, Sophia throbbed in the worst possible place.

He introduced himself in a deep and throaty tone that echoed through the speakers and into each of Sophia’s pores, setting her on fire.

Oh, God
.
Just kill me now.

She couldn’t stand being in the same room with him knowing she couldn’t have him. Why had she thought she could face him? And to have to see him
there
of all places!

She needed to get out of there. Where the hell was Anne Marie?

“Welcome to New York.” His voice sounded a bit amused. “I’ll bet you’re wondering about this line.” He waved his hand toward the model at the end of the runway. “I have a confession to make.” He took two long paces down the runway.