Red Sun (2 page)

             
“Just drop it.  I get that she’s your wife and you have to do what you have to do to keep her happy.  It’s cool, I’ll play along.”  When he didn’t say anything else for a long while, I spoke up again.  “I heard you two last night.  In case you forgot, I don’t sleep all that well.”

             
His face went slack and he let out a deep sigh.  The speedometer dropped another couple notches as he thought about my statement.  Next, he put on his blinker and pulled over to the shoulder.  “Solei, I’m not sure what all you heard…..”

             
“Everything,” I interrupted.

             
He waited a second.  “Well, I know things got heated, but Alicia only said the things she said because she’s concerned.”

             
I nodded aimlessly again.

             
“Look at me,” he demanded.

             
I hesitated, but eventually complied.  The only sound you could hear in the car was my dad’s keys jingling in the ignition.  It wasn’t my intention to tell him I’d overheard, but I couldn’t help it.  If I hadn’t, he would’ve tried to make Alicia out to be this divine saint that we both know she isn’t, and I couldn’t stomach that.  My dad stared at me as I sat there lost in thought.  “Solei, just try to see where we’re coming from.  You’re eighteen, you’re not working, you’re not….”

             
“You keep repeating the same thing!  I already know you think I’m making a mess of my life.  Can we please talk about something else?”

             
I closed my eyes and leaned back in my seat.  He sat there too, thinking I guess.  Eventually, he restarted the engine and got back on the road.  When we pulled up into the parking lot of the mall, neither of us was speaking to the other.  I walked five paces behind him through the parking lot.  Inside, I continued to let him lead the way.  After all, this was his idea, not mine.  Since he seems to think he knows how to live my life better than I do, I decided to just sit back and go along for the ride. 

             
When we came to the first store, the wiry girl behind the counter smiled enthusiastically as we approached.  “Good afternoon!  Welcome to Icon.  Can I help you two with something?”

             
When she finished speaking, my dad turned back to look at me.  It was obvious that he was waiting for me to speak up and inquire about a job, but I’d made up my mind to keep my mouth shut.  I turned away and pretended to be interested in the rack of sunglasses beside me.  I could almost hear my dad’s blood boiling.

             
“Well, yes, actually you can.  My daughter would like to fill out an application.  Do you have any open positions?”

             
The girl glanced over at me and then back at my dad.  “Um, let me check.  One sec.  My manager’s in the back.”

             
As soon as she turned her back, my father scolded me with his eyes.  “Your attitude isn’t doing anything to help your case.  You
do
know that, right?”

             
I shrugged and spun the rack again so I could see the next section of glasses.  It was eating him up that he couldn’t explode like he wanted to.  Thank God for witnesses.

             
The girl came back with a theatrical look of disappointment painted on her face.  “No, sir, I’m sorry.  We aren’t looking for any help at this time, but we’re always accepting applications.  That way it’s already on file if something comes up in the future.”

             
I almost burst out laughing, so I had to hide my face behind the rack.  This was too easy.

             
“Um, you know what?  I think we’re just gonna check out a few other places, but I appreciate you checking,” he replied.

             
  It took an unbelievable amount of effort for my dad to smile at the girl because he was so pissed at me.  He was walking ten times faster when he left the store than he was when we entered.  When we got into a crowded area of the mall where our voices would be drowned out, he shouted, “What’s wrong with you?  In all my days, I’ve never met someone who just didn’t want anything better for themselves than what they have!  Don’t you wanna find a job and make something of yourself?  I mean you could at least make it
look
like you’re trying, Solei.”  He stormed off and then stopped dead in his tracks.  When he came back to where I stood, he announced, “You know what?  Forget it.  We can just go back home and you can do whatever it is you do.  I’m done.” 

             
I stood there watching him for a few seconds, a little shocked that he’d given up so easily.  Things between us have been rocky for some time now and I’ll be the first to admit that I played a part in that too.  In fact, my dad and my best friend Tarik are the only people who’ve put up with me long-term – aside from my mother and Shalon anyway.  Even Tarik gets in his moods where he gets frustrated with me from time to time and doesn’t want to speak to me for days at a time, but my dad had never cut me off
. 
Immediately I began to regret being so stubborn.  As I watched the distance between my father and I grow as he continued toward the exit without me, I felt guilty.

             
I didn’t bother rushing to catch up.  By the time I got to the car, he’d already gotten in and started the engine.  Again we drove off in silence, but this time my thoughts were centered on my own childish behavior.  Last night, he’d come to my defense when Alicia tried to tear me down.  Granted, most of what he did was make excuses for me, but I suppose he didn’t have much else to work with.  Just as I had the thought, we passed one of those play places for kids with the big cheesy characters walking around in costumes.  Something told me, I’d regret it later, but in a last ditch effort to show him that I’m not worthless, I blurted, “Stop here.  Maybe they’re hiring.”  He looked at me skeptically and then slowed down to make the turn.

             
I sat there in my seat long after he’d parked and turned off the car.  This was a lose/lose situation.  If I didn’t get the job, then I’d disappoint my dad again and would have to keep looking for work.  And if I
did
get the job, I’d be stuck here against my will, staring at kool-aid stained faces while making minimum wage.  This could get ugly.  My dad stared at me, waiting for me to get out, but he had no idea how this went against everything I believe in.

             
Now generally, kids aren’t my thing, but I was willing to make an exception just this once to show my dad that I was trying.  He’d gone to bat for me the night before, so I was willing to deal with a few snot-nosed, crumb snatchers if it would make him happy.  I’m not gonna lie, I had second thoughts when I walked in and was instantly hit smack dab in the nose by the aroma of cheese pizza, feet, and dirty diapers.  The noise level was permanently set on
OH MY GOD
, but I reminded myself that this was for a good cause; I needed to give my dad a reason to keep believing in me. 

             
I filled out the application as quickly as I could, my handwriting looking like chicken-scratch I’m sure, and nearly ran back out to the car.  I could still smell the offensive odors on my clothes despite the fact that I hadn’t been in there for more than ten minutes.  My dad was smiling at me and there was a twinge of something else in his expression; something that I rarely ever see from him.  It was pride.  The whole way back home, he had this look on his face that made the possibility of working in a place like that seem kind of worth it. For once, he actually thought I’d done the right thing.

             
That evening, as soon as I smelled dinner getting started, Tarik called and asked if he could come by.  It was clear from the excitement in his tone that there was something he wanted to tell me…….something big.  When I gave him the ok, he cut across the grass separating his house from mine and rang the doorbell.  Meeting him was the one good thing that came out of moving here to South Carolina from Chicago.  He made me feel at home in a place that was anything but that to me at first. 

             
We hit it off right away; well, maybe not right away.  Actually, our first encounter involved me punching him in the face because he intentionally stepped on my new shoes at the bus stop, but that’s neither here nor there.  All that matters is that he’s like family now.  My step-mom’s known his mother since they were in grade school so he just kind of fit right in.  Because it’s so obvious that there will NEVER be romantic feelings between us, he’s the only boy who’s ever been allowed past the front hall. 

             
When I opened the door, Tarik immediately pulled me out onto the porch.  He smiled devilishly as he lifted his shirt up a little on the side to reveal what he was hiding in his pocket.

             
“Shut up!  You got em’?”

             
“Shhhhhhhhhh!!!”  He replied, and rolled his eyes at me for being loud.  “So
stupid
,” he whispered.

             
“My bad, my bad.”  I quickly shut the door and sat on the bench beneath the window on the front porch.  “I thought it was sold out?  How’d you get tickets and its tonight?”

             
He smiled again.  “I told you I’m the man.  It pays to know low people in high places.  Don’t ever doubt me again.”  Somehow, he’d managed to get what had to be the very last tickets available for the hottest concert of the year –
The Legends of Hip-Hop World Tour
.  All the greats were going to be there – old and new school.  We knew we had to go as soon as we heard that all our favorite artists were performing.

             
“How much were they?”  I asked, snatching the tickets from his hand and examining them to make sure they were legit.

             
He snatched them back and shoved them back in his pocket.  “You owe me $75 whenever you find a job wit ya broke self.”

             
I rolled my eyes.

             
“So, if it starts at midnight, we gotta leave here at like eleven so we can get downtown and get a decent parking space.”  There was a long pause while Tarik assessed the solemn look on my face.  “If you’re having second thoughts about sneaking your dad’s car out, we’ll find another way.”

             
“No, no, it’s not that…..”  It
was
that.  Only a few hours before, I’d made it my mission to make my father proud of me, and now I was contemplating stealing his car to go out way past curfew.

             
Tarik sighed.  “Solei, for real.  If you think you’re gonna get caught I’ll just call my cousin to come by and scoop us up.”

             
“Huhhhhhhh, shut up Tarik.  It’s fine.  You got the tickets, now I’m gonna hold up my end of the deal and               get us there.  That’s what we agreed on, right?  My dad and Alicia are gonna go to bed early tonight like they always do on Fridays cause they get up super early on Saturday.  Trust me, it’ll be fine.”  While I was confident I’d get away with it, I was disappointed in myself when I realized that my new lease on life had expired so quickly.

             
“But what if you were just straight up with him and told him we wanted to hang out and ask him if you can borrow the truck for the night?”

             
I shot Tarik a look.  “You know as well as I do; that’s not gonna work.  For one, we won’t be back ‘til like four in the morning.  And two, he doesn’t think I drive good enough to drive his truck.  Why you think I don’t have a car yet?  My dad treats me like I’m in preschool.  Remember?”

             
The look on Tarik’s face was making me rethink things even more.  “So what’s the plan?”  He asked.

             
“It’s simple really.  My dad always leaves his keys in that colorful bowl on the edge of the counter; when we got back today that’s exactly where I saw him drop em’.  So, when they go to bed and I get dressed, I’m just gonna grab em’ and go.  I can lift the garage by hand and they’ll never know I’m gone.  By the time they get up, I’ll be back.  You’re worrying for nothing.”

             
It didn’t look like Tarik was buying it.  “If you say so.”  He looked up just as his mom was pulling into their driveway.  “Well, I’ll holla at you later.  Just text me when you get out with the car.”  He quickly headed back home and I tried not to let his nervousness affect me. 

             
It’d been a long day already and now I probably wouldn’t be getting to bed until around five or later.  If I had known that Tarik was gonna come through with the tickets I probably would’ve tried to fit a nap in at some point.  For once, my inability to fall asleep was going to benefit me.  I was jolted from my thoughts when Alicia called me in to eat, prompting me to go back inside.  I sat through dinner thinking and rethinking me and Tarik’s plan.  How mad would he be if I bailed?  Instantly, I dismissed the thought.  I couldn’t let him down; it was my idea to take my dad’s truck when the conversation came up a couple weeks ago, so I had to keep my word.  There was nothing left to do except to wait for everyone to fall asleep and then go.