Reflection (The Chrysalis Series) (11 page)

‘Let’s go get her.’

‘Seriously?’ The incredulous look on her face made him grin even as his chest lightened. He really did want her to stay.

‘Yes, seriously. She and Lotus took to each other and I want you here with me.’

She tilted her head to one side in that sexy, curious kitten way she had and he couldn’t help himself. He stepped forward, cupped her face in his palms, and kissed her.

It was a kiss filled with promises and declarations that were entirely too soon to make with any sanity, but that he felt in his heart nonetheless. Sometimes you just knew, and Connor was certain that no matter what happened between them, this woman would be a part of him for ever.

Chapter Twelve

Bridget awoke to the feel of Connor wrapped around her. She felt warm and safe and that was odd for her. She’d spent nights with the men she’d dated before, but they’d never felt safe. Not like this anyway. There was a tremendous comfort in having shared her darkest secret with Connor.

She wasn’t at all sure she agreed with him, but he’d definitely given her a different perspective. They hadn’t talked about it any more after he’d asked her to stay. Their conversation had been more mundane, full of the confessions and admissions that any two normal people would share in an attempt to fill in the gaps of understanding about a new person you were interested in.

They’d driven over to her house for her to grab some clothes and toiletries as well as collect Daisy. The two dogs had bonded immediately and had fallen asleep curled around each other on Lotus’s bed.

Sleeping with Connor hadn’t been half as awkward as she’d feared. They’d been up chatting and talking late into the night before exhaustion set in. As she’d changed into her pyjamas, she’d been worried about being uncomfortable or unable to sleep, but as soon as she’d climbed into bed with him, he’d kissed her gently on the forehead, snuggled in behind her spoon-like and been instantly asleep. She’d followed soon after.

She’d slept deeply and dreamlessly. She couldn’t remember the last time that had happened.

In the light of a new day, her mind still reeled from the things Connor had said to her. She’d never considered things from that perspective. She’d always assumed that having her rape turned against her like that was punishment for enjoying the things she and Doug had done together.

She’d been raised in a loving household, but sex was not something that was discussed. Her mother had never had “the talk” with her. She’d handed Bridget some pamphlets and told her to come to her with any questions. Everything Bridget had learned about sex had come from the romance novels she’d devoured in her teen years.

Her parents had not been demonstrative people. She’d never seen them be affectionate with each other. Her brother had once joked that they had to be the product of immaculate conceptions because he couldn’t imagine their meticulous mother allowing herself to get down and dirty. Bridget had agreed wholeheartedly. Her father’s answer to the sex talk was to say that if she ever allowed herself to get knocked up outside of marriage, he’d disown her.

In spite of their taciturn ways, she’d always known she was loved. They’d made sacrifices for her and her brother. Ensured they always had what they needed. That they didn’t get the words of love were something both she and Roy had learned to live with.

When Doug had suggested tying her up, it had seemed erotic and forbidden. The feeling of being helpless and at his will had been sexy and she’d loved every minute of it. When he’d added spanking to the repertoire it had made her feel wanton and just a bit dirty. The orgasms he’d given her had been off the chart.

She’d never questioned it until she was raped. That Trent had done the same things to her in such a vile way had caused her to see what she and Doug had done in a different light. One that had caused her such deep-seated shame that it affected every relationship she’d had since then. Hell, it had changed her entire sense of herself too.

She sighed deeply, feeling overcome by confusion. Had she given Trent too much power? She’d never truly been angry at him; she’d simply assumed she’d deserved it – a lesson to teach her the error of her ways.

Shit, had she been wrong all this time?

Turning over, she gazed at Connor. His face was even younger in sleep. The stubble on his cheeks gave him a rakish look and his arm was thrown back behind his head. Could he be right?

As if her thoughts had summoned him, Connor opened his eyes and looked directly into hers. They were warm grey in the morning light and a slow grin spread across his face.

‘Morning, gorgeous.’ His voice was husky with sleep.

‘Good morning.’ She smiled back.

He reached a hand up and cupped her cheek. At his touch, her insides went liquid. She watched his eyes darken with desire and her breath caught.

‘Bridget.’

‘Hmm?’ She didn’t want to move, not even to speak.

‘I want to make love to you.’ He stroked his thumb across her cheek. ‘Now.’

She couldn’t even draw breath to answer, she just nodded.

‘Kiss me.’

It was a command she gladly obeyed.

Connor fought to control the urge to flip her over and fuck her wildly. He wanted her to lead this first time between them. No matter how much he wanted to make this rough and dirty, he needed her to trust him before they could go there.

Connor had spent a long time thinking about what she’d told him last night, and she was wrong. He was determined to show her that it was about consent. That when both people consented, there was nothing wrong with anything she’d experienced. It was time to replace her memories of the rape with better ones.

Those better memories were starting right now. Hell, for him too. Her lips were warm and soft and feather-light. Too light; he wanted more.

‘Harder, gorgeous.’

She smiled and deepened the kiss, stroking her tongue into his mouth. He welcomed her invasion and let her explore at her whim. Her hands were rubbing his chest and he desperately wanted her to reach for his cock, but he would let her set the pace.

He couldn’t resist burrowing his hands in her curls. They were silken fire draped around his hands. She was growing more urgent, her kiss stronger and deeper. His body was tight everywhere; he wanted his hands on her, his mouth on her, his cock in her.

It was hell trying to hold back.

She broke the kiss. Panting, she looked at him but made no move to go further.

‘What is it?’ he asked.

‘I feel silly.’ She flushed.

‘Why?’ He stroked her lips with his finger. He wanted them wrapped around his cock.

‘Because I’ve never done this. Doug always took charge and then, after I was raped, I always just laid back and let the man take the lead.’

He wasn’t at all surprised by her words, but that was about to change.

‘That doesn’t surprise me, Bridg, but it’s time you learned. So, you’re in charge. Do whatever you want or tell me what you want me to do.’

*               *               *

She felt like an idiot. She was almost 40, for heaven’s sake, and she’d never been the aggressor in sex. She was intimidated, but she wanted this, wanted him.

Rising up, she sat cross-legged facing him and considered the issue. Not the sexiest thing in the world, but she needed a moment despite the fact that her fingers itched to touch him.

Well, if she was going to be in charge, she might as well follow her instincts.

Reaching out, she stroked the skin of his belly and smiled as his muscles flexed and danced under her touch. His body was gorgeous. Nicely fit and muscled in all the right places. A trail of coarse hair led the way to his groin, disappearing under the waistband of the boxers that were barely containing what promised to be a lovely erection.

The thought of where that erection was going to end up had her womb clenching in anticipation. She’d forgotten what it was like to truly want a man. To need him as much as you needed to breathe. Trent had robbed her of more than she realised.

She traced Connor’s pecs before running a finger over the flat disc of his nipple. On impulse, she squeezed it, and was rewarded with a low groan. She wanted more of those sounds from him.

Leaning over, she kissed his nipple before licking it lightly and Connor moaned again. It spurred her on to kiss and suck, lick and gently bite his nipples. She absorbed the sounds of his groans and revelled in his harsh breathing. He was definitely enjoying this.

The sounds of his pleasure were doing crazy things to her body. She was wet and her nipples were hard. She felt achy, hollow and needy, but she wasn’t ready to end this. She wanted more from Connor first.

She trailed light kisses down his body, nuzzling his belly button and his hips.

Sitting up, she demanded, ‘Take off your boxers.’

He wasted no time. He stripped off his shorts and tossed them aside. Lean and long, his body was delicious to look at. His penis was full and thick and weeping.

She felt a heady sense of power at her ability to arouse him this way. Putting all doubts from her mind, she decided to go where instinct took her. Reaching out, she stroked his cock. Closing her eyes, she let herself take in the sensation of silky skin and heat under her palm. His cock jerked as if in admonition and she gripped him lightly.

She stroked him just as lightly and his cock jumped. She wasn’t sure what to do here; she could barely remember what Doug had liked her to do and she hadn’t actually touched a man since then.

‘Harder,’ Connor moaned and flexed his hips, pushing into her hand.

A bit embarrassed but unwilling to end this, she demanded, ‘Show me.’

He engulfed her hand in his and tightened their grip while drawing her hand up his shaft, only to squeeze the head and repeat the motion. Once she had the hang of it, he let go.

She stroked his cock, absorbing the feel of him under her skin and the sight of him as she pleased him. His hips rolled and flexed as he fucked into her hand. His eyes were closed and he was panting slightly, groaning every time she squeezed him.

A bead of moisture welled up on the tip and on impulse she leaned over and licked it off. The salty tang exploded across her tongue even as he gripped the sheets and arched.

‘Do you want me to come like this, baby?’ He growled out the words.

Smoky, grey eyes met hers and she tingled at the lust and heat she saw there. None of her previous lovers had looked at her like that. But then, she couldn’t remember actually touching any of them like this either.

In that moment, she knew she’d been very selfish since the rape. However understandable it may have been, she hadn’t thought about their pleasure at all.

‘Stay with me, Bridget.’ Connor’s rough command snapped out of her thoughts.

‘No, I don’t want you to come like this,’ she said, though she couldn’t resist another taste.

She licked wetly along the head of his cock and was rewarded with more groans and cursing from Connor. Moving her hand, she slowly took him into her mouth and began to gently suckle.

He felt like silky steel along her tongue and he smelled of salt and man. She felt connected to him in a way she hadn’t felt with any other man. A seed of fear burrowed into her mind. How could she be sure?

Even as doubt threatened to overwhelm her, Connor burrowed his fingers in her hair and muttered, ‘Fuck, Bridg. That feels so good.’

He joined her rhythm; began to thrust shallowly into her mouth. She maintained a light, coaxing pressure along his length, rubbing her tongue along him and squeezing the head with her lips.

‘Bridg.’ He gripped her head lightly. ‘Stop, baby. Stop. I’m going to come if you keep that up.’

She briefly debated taking him over the edge. There was power in the knowledge that she could make a man lose himself. To swallow down his essence and take him into her body that way. But she wanted more, she wanted him inside her. She wanted to feel him between her legs and his hands on her body.

With a long, tight draw, she pulled off him and gloried in his harsh groan. She was definitely liking this. There was no need to think deeper than that.

‘Condom?’ she asked as she rolled off the bed.

‘Side drawer.’ He nodded toward the night table closest to him.

She grabbed a condom from the drawer and tossed it on the bed. For the briefest moment, she hesitated. Emotions flickered across her face that he didn’t like. Just as he was about to speak, her face cleared and she quickly removed her pyjamas.

His body clenched in response to the sight she presented. Her breasts were full and swollen with desire. A light flush painted her pale skin and her underwear – hell, did this woman believe in lingerie? They were white cotton … briefs?

Thankfully, she stripped those off too, revealing a neatly trimmed thatch of coppery curls. He was going to have to work on this part of her self-image. She clearly had a problem with seeing herself as sexual or being sexual. She’d surprised him so far. He hadn’t expected her to go so far when he’d challenged her. He’d just wanted her to feel in control of the situation.

Her mouth on his cock had been heaven. Soft and wet, it had been a struggle to not grab her head and thrust deeply into her mouth.

Damn, she tried his control! The blood was rushing to his dick and his entire body was on fire with the need to get inside her and claim her.

Fuck, Connor. Relax, he told himself.

He couldn’t afford to screw up this first time. There would be time to play and push her in the future. This was not the time.

She crawled over him, straddling his hips. She was slick and wet and he couldn’t help himself. He stroked her slit with a finger and sucked the moisture from the tip. She was tangy and sweet. He wanted to bury his tongue inside her.

She moaned; a soft, low sound that was music to his ears. The condom was on the bed. He wanted to grab it and move this along, but she had to do this. So, gathering what self-control he had left, he waited.

Thankfully, she had mercy on him.

She snatched up the condom and rolled it on him a little clumsily, but she got it done.

Rising up, she fisted his erection and settled herself over him, pressing him deep inside. It was like being sucked into an exquisite, velvet vice. She rocked and rolled her hips until he was fully seated and then she stilled.

Her knees were locked on his hips and she panted, her breasts rising and falling. She bit her lip, seeming to be thinking hard. Not at all where he wanted her. He wanted her in the moment. Not thinking, only feeling.

He flexed his hips and pushed deeper inside her, causing them both to moan. He fisted his sheets and flexed his hips again, grinding their bodies together.

Bridget’s eyes closed and he saw a frown flit across her face before she said, ‘Touch me, Connor.’