Reflection (The Chrysalis Series) (13 page)

President Harvey had hired Dean Whittier. It had not been a popular decision. The search committee had recommended another candidate: a woman with a stellar record and a charismatic personality. Whittier had seemed coldly arrogant throughout the entire interview process. Bridget had been on the search committee and universally they’d agreed that Sheila had been the better candidate. The president had overridden their recommendation, giving the position to Whittier. A month later, the university was getting a brand new fitness facility. You didn’t have to be Einstein for that math to add up.

Either way, she was stuck with him now, and he was leaving her little choice. She had to find a way to expose him and his harassment without getting herself fired. She already knew how the victim in a situation like this could be turned into the villain. She’d seen enough women made out to be the criminal despite being horribly violated. She’d never been willing to be one of them.

It had been bad enough that she’d come away from her experience at Trent’s hands feeling as if she’d deserved what happened to her. She hadn’t been willing to put herself through the public humiliation of having it confirmed. Then, as if the rape wasn’t lesson enough, the baby had been the final crack in her confidence.

Trent hadn’t used a condom. He’d impregnated her that day. This was before the use of the “morning-after pill” was widely available. When she’d found out she was pregnant, there had been no consideration for her. She’d decided to have an abortion. She wasn’t going to bear the child of violence. She wouldn’t even consider it.

She’d located a nearby clinic and arranged to have the abortion. During the procedure, she’d seized in reaction to the anaesthesia they’d given her. Her uterus was perforated. The resulting damage meant she’d be more likely to win the lottery than to ever carry a baby to term.

The loss of her dream of being a mother had done her in. For the first time, she’d felt helpless, powerless. That was when the idea that she was being punished for her experimentation with Doug had come to her. Those seeds had taken root and she’d been unable to shake them. That, more than the rape itself, had changed her life in ways she still suffered from today. In the aftermath, the greatest damage that had been done to her was that she’d begun to question her own judgment. Where Trent hadn’t been able to hurt her body, his act of violence had succeeded in damaging her psyche.

She felt the same way now. Helpless. Powerless. Whittier was backing her into a corner and she wanted to fight. She just didn’t know how. She’d never been a quitter and she wasn’t quitting now. But how did she expose him for the scum he was and not lose her job? She would not be vilified when she was in the right.

There had to be a way. There had to be.

With no answer forthcoming, Bridget took her dishes and placed them in the dishwasher, setting the timer to run well after she was asleep.

A long, hot bath did nothing to spur inspiration. With a troubled heart, she drifted off to sleep.

Chapter Fourteen

Skyler sat in her Jeep in front of the River Rock Medical Building. She had no idea how long she’d been there. She only knew her hands were aching from clutching the steering wheel. She was definitely late for her appointment, but, no matter what she told herself, she was unable to summon the will to leave her car.

Clearing her mind of all thought, she reached for the keys still dangling in the ignition and started the car. With no clear destination in mind, she began to drive.

After what seemed like for ever but was only about 15 minutes, she found herself in the parking lot for Pratt Hall, Pinewood’s chemistry building. The irony was not lost on her that she’d come to where it had all begun for her.

She’d seen him for the first time walking these very halls. His attention toward her had been so flattering. She’d seen him as a charismatic genius. When they’d run into each other at the coffee shop, she’d been completely swept away by his caring consideration for her. The way he treated her as an equal.

She’d given him her virginity.

Nausea flooded her at that thought. She’d given the most intimate gift she had to give to a monster. A monster who didn’t deserve to continue. Skyler had always been a gentle soul. She’d always been the peacemaker in her group. Right now, though, she’d gladly murder the dean and not think twice about it.

He’d made her believe she was special to him, but now she saw what he was really about. She’d never been anything other than a piece of ass for him to exploit and now he was using her scholarship to control her. Her parents couldn’t afford to send her to college. The only thing that had allowed her to go was that she’d won this scholarship and it had clear rules.

No other university had offered her enough aid to cover the full cost of tuition, and her father’s cab driver salary simply didn’t cut it. Not when there was still her little sister at home. Her mother worked in a day care centre. It was a loving, but very poor home. The scholarship to Pinewood had seemed a gift from God.

Now, it was her prison. She would not let Dale Whittier keep her from her dreams. She simply wouldn’t. The question was what to do? How to show the true monster he was and not lose her scholarship?

With those questions bouncing around her brain, Skyler left her Jeep and went in search of the person who’d promised help.

‘Professor Ross?’

Bridget startled at Skyler’s voice in the quiet of her office. She’d been working late, grading mid-term exams, trying to wrap them up so that her weekend would be free. She was having dinner with Connor tomorrow night and she didn’t want them lingering around over the weekend, tempting her to work.

‘Skyler.’ She smiled in welcome even as she waved her into a chair. ‘What can I do for you? I’m afraid I haven’t quite finished grading exams so I don’t have your score yet.’

Skyler closed and locked the door behind her before taking the seat offered. There was a look of intensity on her face that had Bridget feeling edgy. Something wasn’t right; Bridget always kept her door open, but she wasn’t sure what was going on right now and she’d wait and see.

‘Is everything OK, Skyler?’ Bridget stacked the exams she’d been grading and put them in a file folder before setting them inside her desk drawer.

‘No, Professor. Things aren’t OK, and I just don’t know what to do. I don’t even think you can help me, but I just can’t keep this to myself any longer. I –’ She cut herself off as tears welled in her eyes. ‘I’m pregnant, Professor.’

Sympathy bloomed inside Bridget. Being pregnant at such a young age was never easy.

‘Does the father know?’ Bridget pulled a box of tissues out of her desk and came around to offer Skyler one before indicating she should come with her over to the small sofa in her office.

Skyler snorted inelegantly and nodded. Once they had settled in more comfortably, she continued, ‘Yeah, he knows. He doesn’t want it. He’s demanding I get an abortion.’

‘Is that what you want?’

Tears streamed down Skyler’s face as she wadded the tissue in her hands. ‘I don’t really know. I haven’t stopped to think about it. He’s been threatening me and I was just going along with it. But I couldn’t do it. I was supposed to be there now. I just sat in my car. I couldn’t get out. It was like him winning if I did that.’

‘How is he threatening you, darlin’?’ Trepidation raged through Bridget as suspicion took root.

‘He’s using my scholarship as leverage. He’s threatening to take it away from me.’

Skyler barely got the words out as sobs began wracking her body. Bridget pulled the larger girl into a hug and simply held her as she cried. She wept the tears of the helpless, the sobs of the powerless. Huge, gulping cries that leave a person weary to the bone.

When she finally quieted, Bridget took a tissue and gently wiped her face.

‘Feel better, sugar?’

‘No.’ Skyler gave a mirthless laugh. ‘But I don’t feel like I’m going to shake apart any more.’

‘That’s a start.’ She let Skyler go as the girl sat up and scrubbed at her face.

‘Who is it, Skyler? Who has this kind of hold over you?’ Bridget held her breath as she waited.

Skyler slowly turned to look at Bridget. Her brown eyes were assessing and cool. ‘You already know, don’t you?’

Bridget shook her head in denial. ‘I suspect. I don’t know.’

‘Dean Whittier.’ Skyler’s tone was flat and hard. ‘I began sleeping with him at the beginning of the term. It was stupid and cliché. I was flattered by the attention of an older man. He took advantage of my stupidity and used me. God,’ she wailed, ‘the things he made me do. After a while, I had second thoughts. He’d become cold and mean. He seemed to always be so critical of me. I tried to break it off.’

She reached for another tissue as fresh tears began running down her cheeks.

‘He told me “I decide when this ends, not you”. He said he’d fail me out of my physical chemistry class unless I continued to screw him, and my scholarship has a GPA requirement. I’m barely keeping Bs in some of my core classes, so I can’t afford a failing grade in anything.’

She flung herself back on the sofa and squeezed her eyes.

‘Have you thought about reporting him?’ Anger clenched Bridget’s chest at the obvious despair Skyler was in. She hadn’t thought Whittier could drop any lower in her estimation. She’d been wrong.

‘Yeah, right,’ Skyler scoffed. ‘Who’d believe me over the dean?’

‘I do.’ Bridget’s voice was soft.

Skyler’s head snapped in Bridget’s direction.

‘Why do you believe me, Professor? You’re not even questioning whether I’m telling the truth. Why is that?’

‘Are you telling me the truth?’

‘Yes, but that’s not the point.’ Her chocolate eyes bored into Bridget’s green ones.

Bridget made a split-second decision and said, ‘He’s been harassing me as well. He’s already proven that he isn’t above threats and manipulation to get what he wants. So yes, Skyler. I believe you.’

Skyler launched herself at Bridget, wrapping her in a constricting hug.

‘Skyler, sugar, I can’t breathe,’ she gasped even as she laughed.

Skyler released her and sat back, tears once again flowing.

Bridget took her hand and squeezed, ‘We’ll figure something out where Dean Whittier is concerned. I promise. But let’s put that aside for the moment and get back to the more pressing issue of your baby.’

The words sank into Skyler’s brain like water into a sponge. Up until this moment, her pregnancy had been more of an abstract construct in her mind. First, it was a tool she’d hoped to use to get Dale to leave her alone. Then it was about refusing to let him control her.

She’d never once thought of it as a baby. It was the pregnancy. The foetus. But it
was
a baby; more importantly, it was
her
baby. She had always wanted children. It was definitely in her life plan. She had just thought she’d be safely graduated and married before a baby entered the picture.

She had no excuse for what had happened. She’d forgotten to take her pills. She’d let herself be distracted and had been irresponsible. It was simple as that. Birth control only worked reliably when you followed instructions and she hadn’t.

Now, though, confronted by the fact that her entire life was about to change, she had to make a decision.

‘Skyler?’

The professor had been so kind to her. She’d come to her not knowing what to expect; certainly not compassion and understanding. She’d expected to be disbelieved. Just knowing she wasn’t alone was so comforting.

‘I’m keeping my baby.’

‘Have you thought this through, Skyler? A baby will change your life for ever. What about school?’

Skyler had those questions too and it would be a complete lie to act as if she had the answers, but she knew what she wanted. As the thought filled her mind, so did a conflicting sense of both peace and trepidation.

‘I don’t have the answers to those questions, Professor. But I know that I’m keeping my baby.’

‘You don’t have to do this, Skyler. You know that, right?’

Skyler nodded at Professor Ross. ‘I know. But I want to do this.’

The professor didn’t speak; she just took Skyler in her arms and held her tight.

Chapter Fifteen

Bridget poured a steaming cup of coffee and picked up a chocolate chip cookie before heading over to sit with Claire and Mona. Once again, she hadn’t heard a single word of the book club discussion and Jean had given her an earful, to be sure. She almost hadn’t come, but she’d known that would only create more questions. As it was, she could see Claire and Mona chomping at the bit to lay into her as well.

With a fortifying bite of cookie, she went to face the inquisition.

Claire didn’t hesitate. ‘Well. What’s going on? Is it Connor?’

‘No, it’s not Connor.’ She sighed. ‘Well, not in the way you mean anyway.’ She couldn’t contain a grin.

Mona leaned forward, interest blazing in her eyes. ‘Ooh, I think Bridget’s got some scoop to tell.’ Setting her cookie and coffee down, she said, ‘Spill. Bridg. Let’s have it.’ She grinned. ‘Tell us something good.’

‘Better yet –’ Claire sipped her decaf ‘– tell us something sexy?’

Bridget flushed, but couldn’t help herself. ‘Sexy was off the charts, darlin’. That man is unbelievable.’

They burst out in happy laughter with Bridget.

‘Well, he must have been good to keep you so distracted. Come on, girl. What good is having friends if you can’t count on getting the dirt?’ Mona said.

‘Exactly,’ Claire chimed in.

Bridget chuckled but quickly filled them in on her night with Connor. They’d spent several evenings together during the week and had made love again. It was just as wonderful as the first time, though she still couldn’t bring herself to truly let it all go with him. She still refused to give in to her urge to go beyond the “norm” and he hadn’t pushed her, but she felt a barrier between them.

Tomorrow, he was taking her out to Luna Bella. He’d gotten testy when she’d suggested they didn’t need to go to such an expensive restaurant, telling her he wanted to treat her. She’d agreed rather than argue the point. She didn’t want him to feel he had to go out of his way to impress her. She was already impressed.

‘Why would going to Luna Bella matter?’ Mona asked.

‘He doesn’t make a lot of money. And I don’t want him splurging on me when it isn’t necessary,’ Bridget said.

‘What does he do?’ Claire asked.

‘Starving artist, right?’ Mona chimed in. ‘I see him drawing all the time at the café.’

‘Janitor, actually,’ Bridget said. ‘At Pinewood, no less.’

Both women looked stunned at the revelation, but quickly recovered.

‘Yeah, that wouldn’t bring in a lot of money, but Bridg, you gotta let a man be a man. If he wants to splurge on you, let him,’ Claire said before finishing off her cookie.

‘Yeah, honey,’ Mona said, ‘Connor’s not stupid. If he wants to take you out, I’m sure he can afford it.’

This was why Bridget loved her friends. They didn’t even blink at what Connor did for a living.

‘That doesn’t seem like enough to keep you as preoccupied as you were though. Is there more?’ Claire nibbled at her last cookie.

‘Yes, but not with him. It’s one of my students. And frankly, me.’

Both women waited patiently for her to continue.

‘Well, one of my students, Skyler –’

‘She comes into the café all the time.’ Mona interjected. Her brow furrowed in concern.

‘Yup, that’s her. She’s pregnant, and it’s by my boss, no less.’

That particular bomb was met by mute stares.

Bridget just nodded.

‘Yup, that was my reaction. But what’s making it worse is he’s harassing me too.’

Both women exploded at that, talking over each other, their indignation apparent.

‘Calm down, calm down.’ She held up restraining hands as her friends continued to rail.

‘I think they have the right of it.’ Evan’s deep voice startled Bridget. She hadn’t heard him come up.

‘What do you mean?’ she said.

‘I mean, I’m two seconds away from shoving my foot up this guy’s ass, that’s what. What are you doing about this? Have you reported him?’

‘No, and I’m not going to either.’

The group exploded again and Bridget practically had to shout to be heard.

‘Listen, all of you, or I’m leaving.’

They quieted down, but not one face was a happy one.

‘I’m going to deal with this, trust me on that. But I can’t expose Skyler and I’m not about to risk my own career. The president of the university is so deep in Whittier’s pocket, I’ve got no one to tell anyway.’

Again, she held up a hand when they all started to speak at once.

‘Listen, I’m not going to let him get away with this. And I damn sure am not giving in, but reporting him won’t work.’

Evan, who now sat on the arm of Claire’s chair, gave her a hard look and said, ‘Don’t do anything stupid, Bridget. You come to me if you need help, understand?’

‘Oh, don’t go all big brother on me, Evan. I’ll be careful.’

‘I will do as I please, Bridget, and count yourself lucky that’s all you’re getting from me.’ He stroked Claire’s hair and Bridget flushed a little, given her knowledge of their particular relationship. ‘Does Connor know?’

She flushed even more. ‘No, and I’d like to keep it that way.’ At Evan’s raised eyebrow she added, ‘I don’t want him worrying.’

‘Uh-huh.’ She could tell he didn’t believe her, but she really didn’t want to talk about her resistance to sharing certain things with Connor. It was still too early in their relationship and she had a right to take things slow.

‘OK, Bridg.’ Evan’s dark eyes never wavered from her. ‘I hope you know what you’re doing. I wouldn’t want you to fuck up a good thing.’

The double entendre was not lost on her.

‘What can we do?’ Claire asked Evan and Mona after Bridget had gone home.

‘Nothing, sweetness.’ Evan said. He’d grabbed a cup of coffee and was sitting with her and Mona. ‘We have to let Bridget handle this as she sees fit.’

‘I think there’s more going on than she’s saying,’ Mona said, worry creasing her brow.

‘I agree,’ Evan said. ‘I’ve known Bridget a long time and she doesn’t let people in easily. Where her boss is concerned, I’m sure she’ll work it out. It’s this thing with Connor that’s bothering me.’

‘Why, baby?’ Claire asked. She knew her husband was very protective where Bridget was concerned. She was like a little sister to him.

‘Bridget doesn’t let men get close. I heard her first comments about him. She’s never said anything like that about anyone else she’s dated, but yet she hasn’t told him she’s being harassed.’

‘I’m not following,’ Mona said, looking back and forth between the two.

‘She has a man who she is really feeling, but she’s keeping him at a distance,’ Claire provided. ‘So she’s setting herself up for failure despite having the opportunity for a real relationship.
Finally.
’

‘Exactly.’ Evan nodded in agreement.

‘Yeah, I see what you mean. Connor’s great,’ Mona said. ‘He comes into the café regularly now and we chat. He’s definitely into her.’

‘I’m worried that Bridget is going to screw up because she holds herself too aloof and refuses to trust the people who’ve proven themselves worthy of being trusted.’ He held up his hand as the women jumped to her defence, ‘I know about her history and I’m not judging, but everyone has to let down their guard and trust sometime.’

Claire’s heart squeezed when his eyes met hers. They would know. They’d both had to take a leap of faith and trust in each other to come together.

‘If she doesn’t tell Connor and he finds out, it might blow up in her face.’

‘You really think so?’ Mona asked.

‘Yes, I do,’ he replied. ‘No man worth his salt wants something like that kept from him.’

‘Bridget can take care of herself,’ Mona protested.

‘Of course she can,’ Evan said, ‘but as the man in her life, Connor has a right to know when she’s being threatened by another man even if he stands back and lets her handle it. Right now, Bridget has introduced a secret into their relationship and secrets are poison.’

Claire knew he was right, but she also knew that nothing would move Bridget before she was ready.

‘Shit,’ Mona said.

‘Exactly,’ Claire and Evan said simultaneously.

Connor tossed his CleanSlate aside in exasperation. Normally, he was able to work his frustrations out through drawing, but tonight the subject of his drawing was his frustration.

Bridget’s image stared out at him from the screen. It wasn’t the drawing that was bothering him. It was the woman.

This past week had been an exercise in self-control. Not just in bed either. Being with her was like being just out of reach of a beautiful diamond. There was a distinct wall between them.

Whenever he tried to talk with her about her job, she always steered the conversation toward her students. She never spoke about her colleagues or her boss. He’d told her all about Sam and his co-workers. That’s what people did. They talked about their day, about their lives. But Bridget doled out information in dribs and drabs and rarely volunteered anything that wasn’t safe.

It made him feel like he was only getting what she wanted him to see rather than the whole picture and that didn’t sit well with him at all. He wasn’t one for secrets.

Add in the fact that she was still very controlled during sex and he was growing frustrated. It wasn’t that she needed to let him tie her up and whip her – though his body tightened at the idea of her bound and helpless. No, sex was about vulnerability and connection, and she always felt just out of reach.

When they’d made love the second time, she’d been obviously uncomfortable any time he tried to push her even a little. It was enough to make a man want to forget the whole thing altogether.

He was a firm believer that how something started was how it ended and he didn’t want to go any further with this wall between them. He understood that trust was earned, but part of earning that trust was taking risks and he felt like he was the only one doing that.

Sighing in frustration, Connor grabbed a Guinness out of the fridge. Sipping the brew, he almost tripped over Lotus, who’d followed close behind him. She nudged one of the drawers and, good master that he was, he fished her bone out for her. She grinned and wagged her tail, happily snatching it from him and flopping down on her bed to chew.

‘At least one of us is happy,’ he said to her before taking a long draw on his beer.

She looked up at him, a huge doggy grin on her face.

He laughed. Who could hold on to frustration in the face of that look? Picking up the CleanSlate again, he looked at his most recent portrait of Bridget. She was all he’d been drawing lately.

As if summoned by his thoughts, his phone rang and her picture popped up. Frustrated or not, he couldn’t help but smile. He was falling for her. He knew it. He wasn’t fighting it. But he felt alone in it.

Grabbing up his phone, he connected the call. ‘Hey, gorgeous.’

Her sultry laugh through the phone had him wishing she was there where he could take her to bed.

‘Hey yourself.’ She sounded tired.

‘Everything OK?’

‘Yeah, tired. I’m about to go to bed, but I wanted to call you and give you my address.’

Connor sat bolt upright. This was so unexpected.

‘Your address?’ He was shocked. When he’d agreed to take things slow, he hadn’t realised she’d make molasses look lightning-fast.

‘Yes, sugar.’ He could hear her smile. ‘My address. Meet me here tomorrow night. OK?’

‘Definitely.’ He took down her address.

They chatted a bit more before signing off. Maybe things were turning around.