Reining In (The Network) (3 page)

“It was real,” he whispered, weakly. “She was real. She was right here. She made me promise to tell you.”

“I didn’t keep you safe this time,” I muttered under my breath. I was sure he hadn’t heard me, but he looked up at me then, and said with a stern voice, somehow regaining some of his strength. “You did what you could! You hear me? No one else could’ve got me out of that mess like you did.”

True, but I was the one that got him into that mess in the first place. I let it go, though. I didn’t want him to get any more excited than he already was. He was already so weak. I spent the rest of the day with him. I curled up next to him as he slept. Several times the hospital staff tried to usher me out of the room, saying that I needed to let Raymond rest, but Mack always intervened. Threat of legal action usually shut them up, and they left me there.

As the day progressed, I could hear his heart slowing, giving up. I looked at Mack once, looking for any sign of hope. He knew what I was thinking and only shook his head. “No. You promised him,” he whispered, low enough so that only I could hear him. He was right. I had promised Raymond the chance to see Lillian. I couldn’t break my promise, even if it meant I couldn’t save him.

I thought knowing it would happen soon would prepare me for what would eventually happen, but when Raymond’s heart beat its final beat, I broke down. As the medical team rushed in to try to revive him, Mack had to hold me back as I tried to force my way to Raymond’s side. I was sobbing, and screaming. It took all of Mack’s strength to hold me back. After several minutes of trying to revive him, the team stopped. A pained moan escaped my lips as I slid to the floor. He was gone; forever.

Everything was a blur after that. It was like the world was flying past me as sat there on the floor, not moving. I vaguely remember Mack picking me up and carrying me out of the room. I heard someone ask him if I needed anything. Mack told them he would have my personal physician stop by to see me at my home. He carried me out to my car and drove me home.

I spent the rest of the day lying in my bed. Mack stayed, trying to help any way he could. Many of Raymond’s friends stopped by, as did several other people from the network. I barely noticed any of them. I just wanted to be alone. For the first time in my life, I wished I had the ability to die.

Mack finally managed to get everyone to leave, excusing himself as well. I remained there, alone, staring up at the ceiling of my bedroom. When the rays of sunlight burst through the windows I suddenly realized I had lain there all night. I tried picking myself up off the bed, only to realize, if I got up, I wouldn’t know what to do with myself. I laid back down. I heard the phone ring, but didn’t pick it up. I didn’t feel like talking to anyone.

When I heard the front door open several minutes later, I regretted not answering the phone. Whatever Mack had to say, he was not going to wait. I sat up, as I waited for him to come up the stairs. When he walked into the room, I could see that he had been up most of the night too.

His eyes were bloodshot, and dark circles were starting to form under them. He looked pale and defeated. Poor Mack. How much I had depended on him all these years. Raymond was his friend, too. This must’ve been so hard on him. I noticed he had something in his hand, as he walked to the bed.

“Khallie, I know you don’t want to see anyone right now, but I promised Raymond I would bring this to you when….” His voice broke off. When he died, I thought to myself. He pulled out what looked like a DVD and walked over to the stand where my television sat. He put the DVD into the player and turned it on.

He came over and sat beside me on my bed and gave me a hopeful look, before he turned to watch the screen. My eyes shot to the screen as I heard Raymond’s voice float across the room. There he was, staring back at me from the television. It took me a moment to realize that I should be listening to what he said.

“…..means I’m no longer around. Hmmm. Well, at least I lived a good life, right?” A hearty laugh poured out of his mouth.

“Khalida, I know this is going to be hard on you. That’s why I decided to do this. I know you will need something to help you move on. You know, my dear, there is something I never told you. I thought about it many times, but I didn’t want you to be disappointed in me.”

“You see, Khalida, that day at the river was not the only time you saved my life. When Lillian died, I was devastated. You know that it was only weeks before I ran into you that I had lost her. I was depressed and had been contemplating suicide. When I saw you there, I just knew that you were an angel; the same one that had saved me from the river, that day. I thought Lillian had sent you, and suddenly I knew I couldn’t do it.”

“Imagine my surprise when I found out that you were not an angel, but in fact a vampire. Even then, I couldn’t help but want to live out my life. I felt shame at thinking I almost threw away the gift you had given to me so many years earlier. My life.”

“Khalida, you are the reason I am alive today. I know that you’ve tried to hide from me how much it hurts to see me grow old, but I can see it in your eyes. I know you will miss me. But you will have to move on. I know you can. I never thought I would, and then suddenly, you were there. The light I needed to guide me back to the world. Please try to remember that. And remember, you are like a daughter to me. I love you, and I will miss you too!”

He didn’t say anything else. I let his words sink in. I knew, deep down inside, that he was right. Somehow, that didn’t make me feel much better. What he didn’t understand, couldn’t understand, was that things were different for him. He had the luxury of thinking he would be reunited with the ones he loved some day. I didn’t have that. The people I lost would remain lost to me forever. I would never see Raymond again.

I looked over to where Mack was sitting. He was looking towards the television, still. I knew he was pretending to be preoccupied so he wouldn’t have to look me in the eyes. He knew as much as I did that Raymond’s words had very little effect on me. I knew that he had hoped they would, but he was a realistic man, and rarely indulged in fantasies. I felt bad. He deserved a better life than this.

“We should start making plans for the funeral,” I finally said, trying not to sound as bad as I felt. I had to try, for Mack, for everyone else who depended on me, and especially, for Raymond. He would’ve wanted that.

Chapter Three

The rain was coming down hard. The whole morning had been dreary, and pretty much matched my mood. I was not looking forward to the upcoming events of the day. I turned away from the window, letting the curtain fall closed. The past couple days had been hard. Today was going to be worse.

I had planned on driving myself to the church, but Mack insisted on picking me up. I knew he was worried about me. He had spent the majority of the past several days hanging around my house, trying to help out; mostly irritating me. Of course I felt bad that I was so irritated by him. He was only trying to help. I managed to send him on a few missions for me, so I could have some time to myself. I didn’t want him to see my irritation. He was, after all, my next closest friend, after Raymond.

I heard his car pull into the drive, and looked around for my things. I heard him call out my name as he walked in the front door, and hollered down to him, so he would know where to find me. I was still gathering my things when he walked into the room. If I had not been so upset, I might have laughed.

Mack looked so out of place in a suit. He was probably one of the few lawyers I knew that didn’t wear one regularly. Mack was a big man, almost 6’6”, with broad shoulders and muscular features. He was an intimidating man to most people. I often thought he would’ve done good in many other professions. But truth be told, he was very good at what he did. It suited him. Well, the work aspect, at least. Mack dressed pretty casually on most days. He walked over and helped me grab my things so we could get going.

“Anything, yet?”

“Nothing. No reports of mysterious deaths, injuries or missing persons. Nothing that matches what we’re looking for anyway. Khallie, I don’t think we’ll find anything. If what you told me about these guys is true, they don’t want to be traceable.”

I sighed. He was right of course, but it was important that we track down the people that killed Raymond.

“You said you thought someone had been killed there, before they discovered you. Right?”

“Not killed, Mack, slaughtered. I’m telling you, something very bad went down there.”

“Well there you have it. These people aren’t just going to make themselves publically available. Khallie, chances are, they don’t know who you are either. You said that you got out of there pretty fast, and that they were more worried about getting away from you than paying attention to who you were. I doubt anyone took the time to stop and write down your license plate number. You know? Stop worrying so much, Khallie. You don’t make mistakes!”

Except that I did. And my kind of mistakes got people killed. Mack was right about one thing, of course. I was sure no one had seen my license plate or anything that would identify me. Still, it was better to know who they were, and to make sure they knew nothing. As if he had read my mind, Mack spoke up.

“I’ll keep trying. People like that usually end up making mistakes. We’ll find out who they are.”

“Thanks, Mack!” I didn’t mention to him that there was another reason I needed to find out who they were. I had a score to settle. Mack would never allow it, of course. Those kind of things could destroy the network. But what he didn’t know…. Besides, those kind of people often met untimely deaths, through bizarre circumstances.

I sighed again. I hated thinking like that. Despite the monster that lived inside me, I actually was not a violent person. I didn’t like the thought of killing people. It seemed uncivilized. And when you have 5,000 years to mature, you gain a whole new perspective on the world around you. Especially when you make mistakes you can’t take back.

Mack tried to hurry me out the door. I shuddered when the cold rain hit me in the face. Mack hurried to open the umbrella he had forgotten was still in his hand. We all but ran down to his car, with me nearly falling face first in a puddle as I missed the last step at the end of the sidewalk. Mack, as usual, had kept me out of harm’s way, catching me before I hit the ground.

Both of us kept quiet on the drive there. I was grateful for that. I was trying to mentally prepare myself for the rest of the day. There would be a lot of people there, many of which were not in the network, and I couldn’t afford to break down like I had at the hospital. Amazingly, for such an old man, Raymond had a lot of friends. Of course, he was just so easy to like, I guess it shouldn’t have surprised me. After all, everyone in the network adored him. His death would leave a huge impact on our little family.

As we neared the church, I could see already that it was going to be a huge gathering. I tried not to make eye contact with anyone as Mack ushered me into the church. I wasn’t ready to talk to anyone just yet. I had to get through this first. The service was nice, I guess. As nice as you’d expect a funeral to be, anyway.

More than once, I had overheard a few whispered conversations, which kept my mind off of the immediate event. Mostly friends of Raymond’s, outside the network, who wondered who I was. He had done good to keep up the story we had contrived together, but there were a few that weren’t in the loop, so to speak. And older gal seemed surprised at such a large gathering of people that she didn’t seem to know.

“So who is the young girl in front, again?” I didn't recognize the voice, but decided it must belong to one of Raymond's friends. Probably one of the old gals that played backgammon with him every Tuesday afternoon.

“That is Raymond’s granddaughter, or great-granddaughter. I don’t remember which. They were very close. From what I gather, her parents were killed in a bad car accident when she was just a child. Raymond raised her. She was more like a daughter to him.”

“I didn’t realize Raymond had children. Didn’t his wife die very young?”

Eavesdropping on the whispers throughout the crowd reminded me that a good many people come to funerals not out of sorrow or respect, but more out of curiosity and sometimes guilt. It only made me more miserable. Why were these people even here?

“I didn’t know he knew so many people. I thought most of his family had passed away years ago?”

“I think they are mostly friend’s of the granddaughter. People that work for her, actually. She runs some big corporation. Valdis, I think it’s called. I don’t know, some weird Russian name.” Scandinavian, actually. Mack’s idea of a joke. It literally meant Goddess of the Dead. Funny, Mack, really funny. Well, yeah, I guess it was, at the time. Everything seemed a lot funnier back then.

My mind continued to wander, as several people continued to get up and make their speeches. It wasn’t until Mack got up to speak, that I managed to step back out of the haze and back into reality. He had that affect on a lot of people. His strong but gentle voice was hypnotic to some. He made them want to listen, even if they didn’t agree with what he had to say. Of course, Mack had a way with words, too, and there were very few people he couldn’t win over, given the opportunity.

Mack cleared his throat as he reached the podium. He looked tired, spent. I hadn’t noticed the dark circles under his eyes earlier, when he had picked me up. God, I was so insensitive sometimes. Of course he was hurting too. Raymond and Mack had actually been very close. They were fishing buddies, golf partners and would share an occasional beer or two, when Raymond was up to it.

Here I was, feeling sorry for myself; making Mack take care of me. Why hadn’t it occurred to me that maybe he needed some time to grieve too?

“Raymond Darling was a good man,” Mack's voice faltered a little, but he kept going. “He was like family; not just to me, but to everyone who knew him. Raymond always saw the bright side of things, and was never happy until he made everyone around him see it too. Even when his health started to fail, Raymond had a positive outlook. Many times he told me he had lived a full life, and that he was ready to be with his dear wife Lillian once again. He had no regrets.”