Relativity (13 page)

“Um, sure,” I reply, not having a clue what she is talking about. My phone chirps and I take it out of my purse. It’s Dad wondering if I found a dress. I assure him I did and tell him I’ll be home after lunch.

“Ho-ly shit,” Natalie whispers.

“What?” I giggle. It doesn’t take much for Nat to drop a holy shit bomb.

She narrows her eyes evilly, glancing over in a corner of the noisy sports bar. “I knew he was fucking her again.”

Curious, I follow her eyes to see what the fuss is all about. I can’t stop myself from gasping when I see Knox tucked away cozily in a corner with Greer Griffin, his ex-girlfriend.

“I know, right?” Natalie says, not reading anything but appropriate friend shock into my gasp.

My body feels numb. I try to look away but I can’t. She’s touching Knox’s arm, the arm that was wrapped around me yesterday making me feel things no one else has ever or probably will ever again. They’re laughing between sips of draft beer, making me feel about thirteen sitting here sipping my pop. Greer looks better than I ever remember her looking back when she and Knox were dating and they would lock themselves in his bedroom when they were supposed to be keeping an eye on Nat and I.

“I swear if he knocks her up, I’m going to scream,” Nat rants.

The thought of Knox being with someone else makes bile rise in my throat. Misty picks that exact moment to bring our entrees. It might as well be dog food instead of a juicy, perfectly-cooked burger.

“Do you girls need anything else?” Misty asks sweetly.

“Misty, do you have any idea why men are so fucking stupid?” Natalie blurts out.

I nearly drop the ketchup bottle I’m holding but Misty doesn’t skip a beat. “Girl, if you figure it out, you better come back and tell me.”

“I really like her,” Nat says, digging into her club sandwich.

I can hear Natalie babbling on and on about our waitress but I can’t take my eyes off Knox. He looks amazing in tight jeans and a gray short-sleeved button-down shirt. The sleeves hug his biceps. I feel like I can almost smell him from here even though I know that isn’t possible. I know it is just a matter of time before he sees us.

“I know those two are revolting, but you should at least try to eat your lunch,” Nat encourages me.

“Has he been dating her since he got back?” I ask, needing to know how long I’ve been foolishly thinking that Knox was actually in love with me.

“I think so. He’s been really secretive since he’s been back. I thought maybe the Navy had matured him a little bit but if he is still wasting time with trash like that than it doesn’t seem like it.”

I will not cry. I will not cry. I will not cry
. I dig my nails into my palms to stop myself from breaking down. All this time I thought that I was something special to Knox. How incredibly naïve could I be? How could he do this? Especially with everything that’s already happened with Mom?

I push my burger around on my plate and tear it into pieces to make it look like I’ve eaten some of it.

“Fuck this, we’re going over there,” Nat says, then proceeds to pull me off my chair and toward Knox’s table. I try to pull away but she’s on a mission.

“This is cozy,” she spouts, her voice dripping with venom, as we stand in front of their table.

“Wow, look at you two,” Greer says, sickeningly sweetly. “You almost look like grown-ups.”

“I forgot you two little pests were going to be out here shopping today,” Knox says, not making eye contact with me.

“They’re prom dress shopping,” he explains to Greer.

“Oh, how sweet.” With just three words she reduces us to the emotional maturity of toddlers. I instantly hate her and a vicious part of me wants to tell her how sweet the orgasm Knox gave me yesterday was but that just reminds me of how much of an idiot I was to think that I was anything but another conquest to him.

“Remember our senior prom?” Knox asks, putting his arm around her shoulders. I realize that he is more upset about Tate than I realized and he’s fighting dirty.

“The hotel room?” she remembers, giggling uncontrollably and rage floods through my body. I can’t let him think that he ruined me. I have to make him think that he didn’t mean anything to me, either.

“Natalie and I would love to get a hotel room for prom to surprise our dates,” I gush. Knox glances at me for the first time since I’ve been standing here.

“Um, sure,” Natalie plays along, not having a clue what I’m talking about.

“Knox, would you be super cool and rent it for us since we aren’t old enough?” I beg.

“Oh my God, that would be sick,” Natalie says, getting excited.

I know this is going to backfire on me big time but I don’t care. Fire is practically shooting from Knox’s eyes.

“Come on, Foxy Knoxy, help your little sister and her pathetic friend get laid,” Greer teases, leaning back into Knox’s chest. I want to stab her with the steak knife that is on their table but instead I just smile.

“If you’re going to be lame about it, just forget it. We can find somebody else,” Natalie says.

“I don’t really give a shit what she does,” he says, pointing at me. “But you’re my sister and it feels pretty fucking creepy to be renting out a hotel room so some dude can fuck you.”

His words feel like a dull knife to the chest and I struggle to remain upright. I meet his eyes and he seems to flinch a bit. I know I must be imagining it but he almost seems as sick over this conversation as I am. But that must just be wishful thinking on my part because he obviously never gave two shits about me. My phone chirps. I pull it from my pocket to see a text from my grandma.

“Hey, it’s Tate. He wants to come over. Let’s go,” I lie. Knox’s jaw stiffens and he turns away.

“Tate? Tate Boyd?” Greer asks.

“He’s her boyfriend,” Nat answers back.

I nod, silently confirming this fact even though we haven’t actually done any official dating yet and if my answer got back to Tate I would probably die of embarrassment, but I don’t care right now.

“My little sister is a sophomore and he is all she talks about. She showed me a picture of him. He’s a little hottie.”

“Now you see why I want a hotel room so I can do unmentionable things to him,” I tease, knowing I just sucker punched Knox. I don’t care though, he preyed on me after my mother died. Who does shit like that?

“Jesus, Ripley, I had no idea you were such a slut,” Knox says, laughing, but it sounds hollow and I know I got to him. I smile wickedly, letting his comment roll off me.

“Don’t fucking talk to her like that, Knox. What the hell is wrong with you?” Natalie shrieks. Panic crosses Knox’s features for a split second after he realizes that he reacted too strongly to my comment. I know I shouldn’t feel happy because this is dangerous territory but I can’t help it, I do.

“He was just teasing, Nat,” I defend him to defuse the situation.

“For real, sis. Can’t anybody take a joke?” he asks, looking anywhere but at my face.

“It’s been a real treat, as usual,” Natalie smarts off, dragging me back to our table. I let her, laughing and playing it up the whole time like Knox’s nasty comment didn’t penetrate me down to the bone.

Our bill is waiting for us at the table and we each divvy up our portion. I notice that Natalie doesn’t tip anything over what she owes which is so strange because she always tips well for good service. I realize she must be distracted by our disturbing interaction with Knox and Greer. I slip another five dollars onto our stack of cash without saying a word.

We grab our dresses and packages without as much as a glance toward Knox and Greer. The heat from his eyes burning through my back does little to warm the ice forming over my heart.

It’s the night before prom. Mozzarella is slammed, as usual. I rush out two pizzas, praying for this night to be over soon. Greer walks through the door and takes her usual spot at the counter to wait for Knox to get off work. She’s been a regular since our run-in at the mall and the only good thing about her being here is that it means this night is almost over.

Knox and I have avoided each other as much as humanly possible this week at work. I hate the fact that my body still feels these tiny electric charges anytime I have to move too close to him which in the confined quarters of the kitchen is much too often.

“Natalie, table two wants refills,” I tell Nat, making my way back with empty pizza trays. I prep some salads and refill bottles of dressing while waiting for my next order to come up. I’m pretty proud of myself for not screwing anything up at work even with all this internal drama going on.

The door opens and my dad and Karen walk through it. I’m confused at first, seeing them together, then realize how happy I am just to see my dad in the outside world for something other than work.

“What are you two doing here?” I ask, leading them to a small table.

“I’ll be doing the questioning tonight, young lady,” Karen says forcefully, but I can tell by the look on her face that she’s joking. “Just how long were you going to let me keep bringing you food that wasn’t edible for a dog?”

I double over with laughter as she and Dad join in laughing.

“Haven’t you ever tasted your own food?” I ask.

“Not really. Greg always did the cooking before we got divorced. I eat out a lot with my crazy hours. I just found an old cookbook and followed the instructions, mostly. I might have made a few substitutions, but I never realized that I was dragging over disgusting food.”

“It was sweet of you and we only had to go to the hospital once,” Dad teases. Karen play slaps him and my stomach flips uncontrollably. She’s flirting with him. The realization hits me, hard.

“I’ll get you guys some drinks,” I mumble, not bothering to ask what they want. I rush back to the kitchen. Natalie is finishing up restocking pizza boxes. “Can you please wait on my dad and Karen?”

She gives me a puzzled look, glances toward the dining area, squeezes my arm comfortingly then heads out toward them.

“Heading out on deliveries,” Mr. Parsons calls out to no one in particular. Knox doesn’t look up from the countertop he is wiping down. As soon as Mr. Parsons bumbles out the door with twenty pizza boxes in his arms, I bolt into the walk-in refrigerator.

It’s the only place in this restaurant where you can get a tiny amount of solitude. I just need a second to regroup after seeing Dad and Karen together. I pace back and forth around the pizza crusts, sauce, and crates of fresh lettuce trying to wrap my mind around it. Could my dad be dating already? Mom has only been gone for three weeks. I don’t know what the acceptable amount of grieving time is but it seems a little quick.

I hear the door open and try to find an excuse to be in here. Knox slips in and even though the temperature is kept at a steady 37 degrees, I could swear it feels like it just shot up fifty degrees.

He comes toward me with a purpose, his brown eyes empty of the compassion and love they once seemed to ooze. I back myself into a corner, hating that I’m submitting to him but unable to stop.

He stops directly in front of me and smiles. I want to punch him and kiss him all at the same time.

“I have something for you,” he teases, reaching in his back pocket.

“Just leave me alone. You’ve done enough,” I retaliate, trying to move around him. He grabs me and pins me to the cold wall with one hand but he isn’t holding me there strongly. I could break away if I really wanted to. He puts his face so close to mine that I think he is going to kiss me. I hate myself for tipping my chin up slightly trying to meet him halfway.

With his free hand, he runs something down my cheek. It looks like a credit card. “I got you the hotel room that you wanted, but if you use it, I’ll know I never meant anything to you.”

“What the hell do you care? You got what you wanted. You fucked your little sister’s pathetic friend,” I remind him.

“You started up with Tate before I ever called Greer so don’t put the blame on me. Besides, all I was to you was a dirty little secret. You weren’t ever going to tell anybody about us,” he yells back, genuine hurt lacing his voice.

“I guess we’ll never know,” I reply, hating that he’s right. I never would have had the courage to tell Natalie about us.

“Do you honestly think I would tell you I love you if I just wanted to bang you?” he asks incredulously.

“I don’t know what I think about anything anymore,” I confess, feeling overwhelmed.

He tucks the key card in my apron and says, “Let me know when you figure it out.” Then storms out of the refrigerator.

I ask the heads of lettuce if there is any way my life could possibly be more screwed up but they don’t answer back.

******

It’s the morning of prom and Dad and I are headed to complete the grim task of picking out Mom’s headstone. Silly me, I thought all this stuff was behind us once the funeral was complete but now it seems we are left with the impossible task of picking out the perfect rock to memorialize the most perfect woman in the world. Dad offered to put it off, not wanting to put a damper on my ‘special day,’ but I just want to get it over with. Besides, I can’t quite seem to muster the enthusiasm about my night with Tate that I know I should have. If I’m in a bad mood tonight at least I can use this as my excuse.

I know Dad needs to get this over with. He’s had so much paperwork and small details to take care of that we need to just finish this. It’s just a rock. How hard could it possibly be? I’ve tried to help him out by taking on just a few of Mom’s tasks, like grocery shopping, laundry, and kind of cleaning the house. I’m definitely not getting anything done like she would but I guess we haven’t starved to death or worn the same underwear two days in a row so it’s progress.

“How’s school?” Dad asks politely as he makes his way through some light Saturday afternoon traffic.

“The teachers know that the seniors are pretty much checked out so all the serious testing is already done. We’re just there so that the district gets paid. Trust me, there is no actual learning going on.”