Release In The Dark (DARK erotic romance series) (16 page)

He holds me tighter against him,
almost suffocating me against his chest. I try to punch him again,
but he simply refuses to let me go. My fear and temper rising, I
raise my hand and slap him weakly across the face.

With my flailing arm, I manage
to knock the cap off his head.

I look up, and stop struggling.

In fact, I stop breathing
altogether.

I stare up, my entire body limp
in his arms, at that mess of tousled brown hair.

The creased, tanned forehead.
Those deep, brown eyes.

That strong, familiar face that
is now thinner, sharper and covered with fresh cuts and bruises.

I blink.

I am dreaming. My eyes and
heart are playing tricks on me.

Shivering violently, I reach up
to touch his face. This—this must be a disguise. A mask. A
fake.

“
Jaxon, love...is
this...really you?” I whisper, as a sob erupts violently from
my chest.

“
Zoey, Zoey...”
Jaxon murmurs my name in a strangled, broken voice as his face drops
to my neck. I can feel his tall body shaking against mine as he
grips my waist tightly. All the strength and wrath that I had
witnessed earlier as he smashed the lock in with a crazed,
cataclysmic power seem to have drained from him completely.

As he holds my battered, bare
body in his arms, he starts to shake. His hands feel so cold against
my skin, yet so right.

“
How did you...?” I
start to ask hoarsely, unable to believe that I am truly in his arms.

His head jerks up and he puts a
finger to my lips. Pushing me behind him, he turns to face the
entrance of the tent, a gun already in his hand. The flap flutters
noisily as a cold wind blows in, but that is all.

Cocking his head, he listens
intently, his gun at the ready. All we hear is the wind and the
distant sound of birds. No footsteps. No human voices.

I try to take a step towards
him, but my leg chooses at this point to give out completely. Jaxon
lunges forward to catch me before I hit the ground.

Against my feeble protest, he
swings me over his shoulder and clamps a powerful arm over the hollow
of my knees to hold me steady. “We've got to go,” he
tells me quietly. “I've got you, Zoey.”

I croak a reply, and glance at
the broken cage in the corner. Jaxon exits that tent silently, and
that cage and the handcuff lying on the floor recedes from my
shaking, spinning vision.

My eyelids droop against my will
and I feel myself bouncing against Jaxon's hard body, vaguely aware
that he has begun to run. The jostling movement aggravates the
pounding in my head, and I see flashes of red on the back of my
eyelids, just before the black takes over, and I sink into a dead
faint.

I shiver awake, and immediately
scramble up. I stare around wildly to see the cave that I am lying
in. Patting my hands down my body, I find I am dressed in an
ill-fitting black uniform. My hands roam all over my body, up my
neck to my face. I have to convince myself that I am solid, real,
alive, and that this is not a dream.

I am alive.

I am safe, in a cave.

Not a cage.

Jaxon got me out. He saved me.
I saw him. Right? Right? Where is he?

“
Jaxon,” I call out,
hating the pain and panic in my voice. “Jaxon!”

There is a rustling sound at the
mouth of the cave, and I scrabble backwards, pushing myself deeper
into the shadows. The sound is coming nearer. Is it a wild animal?
Soldiers out searching for me?

The low hanging leaves and vines
obscuring the entrance to the cave part and a figure ducks quickly
into the cave. I blink at his silhouette, tears springing to my
eyes.

“
Jaxon, is that you?”

He puts down the bundle in his
arms, and slowly comes closer. The light behind him illuminates his
matted brown hair and the side of his face. I finally see his
sunken, brown eyes, and his fierce, handsome face. Stubbled, dirty,
injured, but still so strong and handsome in my eyes.

“
Jaxon!”

I fly into his arms, and he hugs
me hard, leaning his whiskered cheek against my head. “Zoey...”
he breathes my name over and over again.

I run my hands all over his
face, his shoulders, his chest, his hands, unable to believe that he
is really in my arms again. “You...you were captured,” I
whisper, hot tears spilling freely down my face. “I saw...I
saw you, shackled, in a cell...”

He nods.

“
How...?” I
swallow, searching his gaunt face. “Irin said you never made
it to the rendezvous point. She said no one...”

His face hardens instantly and
he releases me. “We were betrayed. My location was leaked.
There's a mole in the resistance.”

I inhale sharply. “How
did you escape?”

“
Moles. There are moles
everywhere,” he answers wryly. “A few of the prison
guards had been soldiers in my platoon when I was Commander. These
were young men conscripted from the towns that the Imperial Army
invaded and raided. Forced to serve as soldiers, their loyalties
were never with the Emperor. They were the ones who helped me
escape.”

“
How did you find me?”

A strange light enters his eyes.
“You sent an encrypted message to the resistance, a recorded
conversation. It was clear who had taken you.”

He is standing just a few feet
away from me yet a chasm seems to have opened up between us. His
eyes are burning, yet his voice is suddenly cold and strained.

Wrapping my arms around myself,
I persist, “How did you get into Owen's camp?”

At the mention of Owen's name,
his dark eyes flash and his fists clench at his side. “There
are moles everywhere,” he says tersely at last.

“
Oh.” I nod in
comprehension. “Some soldiers in Owen's camp helped you.
Helped...me.”

“
I've been a soldier since
I was nine,” he answers with a bitter laugh. “Being in
the Imperial Army for nineteen years has its advantages.”

When I look up, Jaxon is staring
at me with a mixture of anguish and fury. I try to take his hand,
but he turns away abruptly.

“
You should eat,” he
says brusquely.

“
Jaxon...”

“
There's drinking water,”
he says curtly, handing me a canteen as he rummages through a
backpack with the Imperial Army logo on it. He has either stolen it
from the camp, or one of his “moles” sneaked it out to
him. I don't bother to ask. I simply take the canteen from him, and
bring it to my lips.

I gulp down the water, keeping
my eyes on Jaxon's back. His movements are stiff and angry, and he
seems to be avoiding my eyes on purpose. Other than that initial,
fierce impulsive hug, he hasn't kissed me or held my hands or
caressed my face—in other words, he hasn't really touched me.

It hurt.

I want him to fold me into his
arms and comfort me, kiss me and love me. Why isn't he doing that?
Why is he turning his back to me and trying to ignore me?

Even when he hands me an energy
bar, he doesn't speak to me. I slide down against the cave wall and
unwrap the energy bar with shaking hands. I eat mechanically,
biting, chewing, swallowing without tasting a single mouthful. Jaxon
has packed and repacked the bag, checking and rechecking the supplies
until there is nothing else he can pretend to be busy with. Finally,
he sits down opposite me and watches me eat, his eyes dark and
hollow.

I swallow the last mouthful and
ball up the wrapper. Narrowing my eyes at him, I demand, “What?”

When he doesn't reply, I toss
the wrapper at him. “What is it, Jaxon? Why are you treating
me like this?”

There is a brief flicker of pain
in his eyes before he closes them. “Why? Why did you go to
the Red Lantern?” he whispers.

I start. “I went to the
Red Lantern...because of you!”

“
Did you know what they do
at the Red Lantern? You knew what would happen to you...”

I read the accusation in his
voice, and my temper flares. “I went to the Red Lantern, and I
did everything that I had to do in that hell, for you! For you,
Jaxon! You left for a mission, and you went missing. No one knew
what happened to you. No one could tell me if you were alive or
dead. How do you think that feels? I had to find out. I had to
find you! I went there for you! Do you know what happened to me? I
almost drowned, I was stripped and tied to a torture device, I
watched my friend being strangled to death...” I tick off the
items furiously on my finger, my voice rising and cracking. “I...I
killed a man, got rid of his body, was interrogated, and taken by
Owen to his camp...” I try to speak again, to yell at him, but
I don't have the strength to carry on.
Oh, and I was raped,
abused, cuffed and caged
for good measure
.

I snort out an angry laugh, but
it comes out as a sob.

I raise my hands to swipe away
my tears. I'm not going to cry.

Both my wrists are caught in
Jaxon's fists as he grabs me suddenly and crushes me to him. I gasp
and scream, struggling violently in his arms. My fists pound hard at
his chest, as I yell at him to let me go.

“
Let me go, Jaxon! Damn
you! Damn! You! You're a jerk! A jerk, Jaxon Ryleth!”

Grabbing a fistful of his shirt,
I wrench and twist, the fight leaving me as I sob hard into his
chest. He presses his lips firmly against my forehead and holds me
as I cry. I have stopped punching him, but I am hurting all over, my
knuckles, my arms, my heart.

Rocking gently, he whispers, “I
am sorry, Zoey. I love you. I love you so much. I almost died...”
he chokes. “I just can't bear the thought...of you...”
His ragged breaths are hot against my cheek and neck.

I reach up and wrap my arms
around his neck. “I thought I'd never see you again.”
My words are muffled against his neck. “I needed to know. I
needed...to see you. I was afraid, so afraid that...”

Jaxon kisses my wet eyelids and
the side of my head. With his lips against my temple, he breathes
painfully, “I told you that I would stay alive...for you. I
would find my way back to you, no matter what. You should not have
gone to the Red Lantern, Zoey.” He grip tightens around my
body. “You should never have gone!” His nails are now
digging into my flesh, as he fights his own tormenting pain and
anger.

I gasp, and he loosens his grip
instantly. But his arms remain around me.

“
Did I hurt you?” he
asks softly.

I look down.
You did, just
now, when you wouldn't even look at me.

With a finger under my chin, he
tilts my face up. “Zoey,” he says, gazing into my eyes.
“I know...what you've had to go through, what you have
done...for me. It...it kills me, every moment. You should never,
never!” He pauses, fighting for control over his voice and
tattered emotions. “Never have entered the Red Lantern!”

“
You blame me,” I
say sullenly.

“
No. I blame Irin. I
blame the resistance for sacrificing you.”

I chew my lip, mulling over his
words which are filled with angst and hate. I pick through his
words, but—he is right. They did sacrifice me. Irin delivered
me to the Red Lantern, knowing full well what would happen to me.
And no one saved me from Owen. Jaxon had to claw his way out of his
prison cell to come for me. He knew.

“
You knew the resistance
wouldn't get me out,” I say slowly, reeling. “You knew
they would leave me with Owen.”

At the mention of Owen's name,
Jaxon's throat moves before he finally grits out, “I will kill
him!”

I shake my head. “Don't
risk your life, Jaxon. He is not worth it.”
And he is
already dead, damaged on the outside, dead on the inside.

“
What he did to you...”

“
...is nothing. I have
already forgotten it. He is gone from me. He is nothing, just a
corpse masquerading as a Commander,” I say without emotion.

I look up to see Jaxon's jaw
still tightly clenched. Pushing myself up on my toes, I kiss him
softly on the mouth. He starts, and jerks back in shock.

His reaction is completely
understandable and—natural. But it wounds me deeply.

He recoiled from me. From my
touch, my kiss.

I squeeze my eyes shut, unable
to look at him. I can't bear to see that anguished, angry look on
his face. To have him so near, and so far from me. I open my eyes,
grateful that they have remained dry.

My voice, when I speak, sounds
foreign, harsh and grating. “I have already forgotten...but
you haven't. You won't. You can't, Jaxon. Can you?”

“
Zoey, that's not...”

I shake my head. “You
can't kiss me back, can you? You won't be able to bring yourself to
touch me ever again, right? You are disgusted by me...”