Release In The Dark (DARK erotic romance series) (17 page)

“
No, Zoey, I...”

“
...you see me as defiled,
damaged, dirty...”

“
No!”

“
You despise me now, don't
you? You think I'm just a whore...” My eyes blaze as I stalk
towards him.

“
You are not...”

“
You won't want me
anymore. You can't make love to me without thinking what other men
have done to me...”

“
Zoey!”

“
When you touch me, you'll
feel like you're just fucking a slut...”

“
Stop it! Just stop it!”
he shouts.

“
I want you to say it,”
I pant, kicking my chin up as I stand toe to toe with him. “Say
it to my face. Get it off your chest, Jaxon. Let it all out. Say
it!”

His shoulders are heaving with
his labored breathing. His eyes are burning into mine, flashing with
all his pent up passion and pain. I hear his knuckles crack loudly
as his fists clench at his side. A muscle is throbbing violently in
his jaw as his internal struggle rises to fever pitch.

Without warning, he grabs my
shoulders and crushes his mouth to mine. I gasp at his violent,
desperate kisses. Clawing at his shoulders, I bite his lip and kiss
him back with equal fervor and vengeance. The sounds of our heavy
breathing and moans echo round the cave as he keeps walking me
backwards until my back thuds against the far wall of the cave.
Grabbing my leg to pull it up against his side, he grinds his
erection hard against my belly.

“
Do you feel this, Zoey?”
he growls, as he licks and bites my ear and neck. “Do you
think I'll get hard, for a slut? Hmm? Do you!” He slams his
cock against my crotch, pushing against the fabric of my baggy pants.

With a ripping sound, the two
halves of my oversized black shirt fly open, exposing my bare
breasts. Jaxon dips his head and his mouth devours my breast without
mercy, sucking hard on my nipple and biting and rolling it between
his teeth until I cry out. “You say I don't want you?”
he grates. “I don't want this?” he pants, flicking his
tongue hard over my erect, aching nipple while his hand fondles my
other breast.

“
You don't. You know it.
I know it. So say it!” I pant angrily, even as I arch my back
to him. “Let it all out, right now! Right here!”

With a bellow, he rears up and
tears his shirt off. He removes all his clothes in a blur and is
upon me even before I can inch away.

“
Go on,” I
challenge, even as a moan escapes my lips. “Make love to me.
You can't, right? You can fuck me, treat me like the whore you think
I am, but you won't ever be able to make love to me again. Am I
right?” My voice drops to a whisper as tears fill my eyes.
“Am I right, Jaxon?”

He tugs my loose pants down my
hips and kneels before me. I hear him curse savagely when he sees
the dried blood on my thighs and the ugly marks and bruises on my
skin.

Leaning his forehead against the
flat of my belly, he breathes raggedly against my skin, his trembling
hands cradling my thighs.

“
Zoey, I love you. I love
you. I love you.”

A tiny sob escapes my lips. He
is not saying it to me. He is trying to convince himself.

I shake my head from side to
side as he plants a kiss on my navel. Softly, he kisses a trail from
my belly down my hips, down my thighs and gently eases my legs apart.

“
Tell me if it hurts,”
he says, his face twisting in pain and restrained fury at the sight
of my injuries.

I cup the side of his face in my
palm and thumb his cheek. “You can never hurt me with your
touch, Jaxon,” I whisper. “You know that. I want you.
Always.”

He stands up, rising to his full
height. I put my hands against his chest, feeling his heartbeat,
tracing the fresh cuts and wounds on his skin. He looks at me, and
whispers, “I will never not want you, Zoey. Never. Don't you
know it? Can't you feel it? How much I want you? How much I love
you?”

I close my eyes to stop him from
seeing the tears.

“
But...it kills me,”
he continues in a strangled voice, his hand over mine, pressing my
palm against his heart. “It is like a knife, twisting in my
gut, in my heart, to know...to know that you...you were—”
His slams his other fist into the wall above my head. His forehead
falls upon mine, and he leans heavily on me, his features rippling
and struggling against his feelings.

I stay completely still, feeling
his hammering, powerful heartbeats, listening to his uneven breaths,
coming slowly, achingly alive in his heat. Slowly, I tilt my face
up.

“
I understand. I...know
how much it hurts. I know why you are angry, and why you might hate
me now.”

His eyes fly open at my words.

He holds my shoulders firmly,
staring hard into my eyes. “Zoey,” he says very softly.
“I am angry, yes. But I don't hate you. I love you.”

I stare up at him, expecting to
see him glance away at his lie. But his gaze is unwavering. I can
catch no doubt, no lie in his eyes.

Jaxon.

He has never lied to me.

And he will never lie to me.

Deep in my heart, in my soul,
down to my very core, I know that.

I push myself up on my toes, and
after a heartbeat, he leans in. Slanting his lips across mine, he
kisses me tenderly. He deepens the kiss slowly, taking his time,
breathing me in, tasting me as he cups his hand over the back of my
neck.

He deepens the kiss and very
gently, his hand trails down my chest to caress the swell of my
breasts and his fingers flutter lightly across the hard aching nubs
of my nipples. His touch is light, gentle, tentative and uncertain.
He is not sure if he is hurting me, seeing the numerous raw marks and
bruises all over my body. He doesn't want to hurt me. Unlike Owen,
who had viciously tried to mark me and injure me horribly with his
brutal strength. He thought that by wounding me and scarring me, he
would be seared forever into my flesh and mind.

Owen will forever be a Slave,
even if he wears a Commander's uniform.

Jaxon is a fighter, a survivor,
a leader. His men remain loyal to him, long after he is no longer a
Commander and has become a rebel leader. He fights fearlessly,
unceasingly for what is right, what he wants.

And what he wants—is me.

But he is mindful not to hurt
me, even though he wants me so bad.

His raging erection tells me how
much he wants me, and it makes me grin against his lips.

“
What?” Jaxon asks,
squinting at me. “What are you smiling at?” He nuzzles
my neck affectionately, playfully.

I shake my head, feeling my
cheeks burn up. I wonder if he can see me blush in the darkness of
the cave.

“
What?” he persists.
“Tell me.”

I shake my head again, breaking
into giggles.

“
Still not telling? I
see. You are asking for it then, Miss Whard. Don't say I didn't
warn you!”

With that, he starts to tickle
me mercilessly. I shriek and squirm, but he is relentless. He
tickles me until I finally put up my palms in surrender.

“
Okay, okay, stop...”
I chortle breathlessly. “I can't take it anymore.”

“
Fine. Talk.”

I chuckle and press my hands
over my mouth.

“
Oh, you still refuse to
talk.” He lets out an exaggerated huff of exasperation. “I
will have my wicked way with you then, until you succumb.” He
licks his lips.

“
What are you going to do
to me?” I tease.

His eyes darken. “I'll
make you come, for me,” he whispers. “And then I'll make
love to you.”

I gasp as he pushes my legs
apart and kneels. Before I can stop him, he is already kissing his
way up the inside of my thigh. I moan with pleasure when he licks my
throbbing clit and gently flicks it with his tongue. He laves his
tongue up and down the folds of my pussy, slowly increasing the
pressure. “Harder,” I pant.

I feel his lips curve up as he
sucks my clit into his mouth and swirls his tongue around it, lightly
at first, then harder and more insistently, until I can hardly stand
up as the pleasure builds low in my belly and starts to climb.

I can hardly stand up straight,
my body threatening to explode in ecstasy. “Penetrate me,
Jaxon,” I breathe.

“
You...you sure?” he
frowns, his eyes flitting across my bruises and fading blood stains.

I nod. “Yes. I want you
inside me. Feel me, Jaxon. Feel how wet I am for you.”

He looks up and his eyes hold
mine as he slowly slides a finger inside me. He lets out a groan
when he feels my juices squirting as I clench my walls around his
finger.

I wrap my legs around his hips
as he hoists me up.

“
Tell me you love fucking
me,” I say, my arms around his neck.

“
I love fucking you,”
he grates, his eyes glittering as the head of his cock nudges against
my wet, quivering folds.

“
Then fuck me.”

He does.

He slides his rigid, throbbing
cock into my body in one smooth stroke.

Impaled on his rock hard cock, I
suck in a breath as my muscles pulse and clench around his girth. My
head lolls forward to drop onto his powerful shoulders.
“Jaxon...fuck me hard.”

I won't break. I'm not a
fragile, wounded, broken thing.

After a sharp breath, Jaxon
starts thrusting his hips, shoving me higher up the wall. “Oh
God,” he breathes, freezing suddenly to try to regain his
control. His eyes close at the intense pleasure. Swallowing and
forcing in a deep breath, he begins to move in me, gradually
increasing his pace until he is pounding into me. My breasts bounce
against his chest, the friction making my nipples throb and ache even
more. I want more, more of his touch, his tongue, his mouth. I want
him.

I lean in and suck his earlobe
into my mouth. “Jaxon Ryleth, do you like fucking me?” I
whisper into his ear.

He gasps when I lick the shell
of his ear, outlining the curve of his ear with my tongue.

Removing one hand from under my
buttocks, Jaxon grabs my breast and thumbs my nipple in tight
circles. When he rolls the pebble hard nub between his fingers, I
let out a cry at the shot of pleasure through my body.

“
I'm going to fuck you out
of your mind...” Jaxon grits out.

“
You!” My eyes
blaze, clearing for just an instant to see his rugged face clearly.
“You...are out of your mind,” I breathe against his neck.

“
For you.” His
voice softens.

His strokes slow down, and he
lifts me off the wall and lays me on the ground on my back, on top of
our discarded clothing. He is still deeply buried inside me, moving
slowly, gently.

He slides in and out of me,
letting the pleasure simmer and build gradually.

Lowering me on my back, he
continues kissing me, as he slides in and out of me smoothly. His
hand grazes the side of my breast as he traces my curves. He strokes
the curve of my waist and hips, and trails down my thigh. Supporting
my leg under my knee, he pushes my leg up slowly, spreading me wider
as he increases his pace.

I can feel the first flickers of
my orgasm tingling through my nerves as he strokes me. “I...I'm
coming,” I pant, blinking up at him.

He stares deeply into my eyes as
he thrusts deeper and harder into me. “Come...in me,” I
whisper. “Deep in me.”

With a shuddering breath, he
blinks hard and shakes his head. “Can't. You might...”

“
I won't. I can't...get
pregnant.”

His eyes widen as he stills.
Completely.

“
Dr. Rolin injected me
with a serum, so I won't get pregnant.” I turn my head to the
side, tearing my eyes away from his. “I can't get pregnant.
Ever.”

Jaxon pushes himself up, his
arms straight. He stares down at me, but he is so silent and so
still I don't even hear him breathing. Finally, he holds my face in
his hand and thumbs away a stray tear.

“
I will find Dr. Rolin,
and I will make him undo this,” he says quietly.

I turn my head to blink up at
him, speechless.

“
And if—if, there is
no way...” he continues carefully, thoughtfully. “That
is perfectly all right. You are not damaged or deficient or lacking
in any way. You hear me, Zoey? Yes, I do want children with you.
But it doesn't matter if they are our biological children or not.”

“
What...are you saying?”
I rasp at last.

“
What I am saying is that
I want to have a family with you. And yes, I do hope that you will
have my baby, some day. But if we can't, we'll still have a family.
We'll adopt. And if we do manage to have children of our own, we'll
adopt as well. This war, has orphaned many children. Like me, they
too are looking, hoping, yearning to have a family, a family to love
them.”