Relinquished (18 page)

I’d fought his help before, but there was no denying that I couldn’t do this on my own anymore.  The only thing I had left in this world was the man that had me cradled in his arms. 

Still wrapped in Holden’s arms, I was recuperating from my breakdown when the sound of rapping on my door called my attention. I wondered if it was time to eat yet. My hope was short lived, and my posture stiffened when I immediately recognized Detective Hank Carr as he stepped into my room. He was one of the cops that had investigated the ‘Malcom kids’ case, and he’d traveled up to Northern California to help me out when I’d been busted after that final street race.  It made me wonder why he seemed to be following all the unsettling events in my life that had each ended with a dead body.

The hospital gown I’d been wearing did little to cover my back, which I was thankful for once I felt Holden’s warm palm on my skin, rubbing small calming circles.  I peeked to the side where he was standing beside the bed and allowed his presence and soft kiss on my forehead to relax me.

“Miss Donovan.” Detective Carr nodded in greeting before he looked at the guys.  “Dante.” He tossed him a set of keys.

Both Holden and I jerked our heads to the side as we stared curiously just as a uniformed officer entered.

“Carr,” Dante acknowledged before glancing at me and mouthing, “It’s okay, I know him.”

Well, no shit.

Another man in a suit walked in, and suddenly the room felt very crowded. He strode past the detective and stuck his hand out to greet me. “Miss Donovan, I’m Warren DeSoto, and I’ll be representing you.”

“Representing me?” Baffled, I watched him set his briefcase on the rolling food tray, pop the locks open, and reach in for an electronic recorder.

Dante jumped in, eyeing both Holden and me. “His law firm works for our company, trust what he says to answer and not to answer.”

I turned to Holden, who seemed unsure but nodded to me anyway.

Carr pulled out a small notepad while the other officer stood in the background, and Dante took a seat in the chair next to me. “We’re still looking for the assailant that opened fire on the crowd, but we need to get your statement, Miss Donovan, then we’ll be out of your hair.”

“Okay.” I was grateful I wasn’t going through this alone but scared to talk about it in front of the guys.  Logically, I knew they wouldn’t think any less of me, however, hearing the horrific details of something that someone you know went through is not a great experience.  I still don’t know why Dante was such a jerk to me before, but I needed these guys, and I was tired of fighting on my own. I especially needed Holden by my side. 

Scooting over, I patted the empty spot, I had to have him as close as possible.  He caught on and joined me on the bed.

Due to the swelling in my nose, I had to breathe through my mouth, which was drying my already cracked lips. Each short breath I took was a painful reminder of the amount of smoke I’d inhaled.  

I didn’t wait for the questions and began to put it all out on the table, pausing occasionally to cough. “I was sleeping in the employee lounge when I heard someone enter the alarm code and come in through the back door of the bar.  The owner told me earlier she’d had the code changed, and I thought she was the only one who knew what it was.” 

“Why were you sleeping there?” Detective Carr asked with genuine curiosity on his face.

I glanced sheepishly up at Holden then back to Carr. “I didn’t have any money for a motel room.”  Holden took a sharp breath beside me as I continued.  “I had dinner with the owner, then was sleeping in the back room.”

Carr scribbled in his notebook while I went on. “I overheard Sam Hamilton and a cop named Jaxon talking about how they’d been following me. When Jaxon found out what Sam had planned for me, he tried talking him out of it.  When that didn’t work, he made a run for it, and Sam…” I had to stop for a second as the actual event played again in my head. The loud pop of the gun rang in my ears like I’d just heard it.

The lawyer rubbed his chin inquisitively, seeming to be just as interested in the story as everyone else in the room.

“He…he shot and killed him.” Taking a shaky breath, I felt my fear resurface and electricity shoot through my body. Holden gripped me tighter, wordlessly letting me know he was there for me. “I ran to the main bar floor and heard him laughing when I tried to break the glass to escape.  He punched my face several times and dropped the gun in my lap before pouring fryer grease all over me and the floor.”

I scanned the room, taking in everyone’s reaction and had no doubt each person believed every word I was saying.  From the gun on the floor to my swollen face, there wasn’t one part of my explanation that couldn’t be backed up by physical evidence.

Holden ran his hand down his face and throat as he struggled to listen to my story.  I felt bad that he had to try and remain strong for me. I rested a hand on his thigh, wanting him to know I was here for him as much as he’d shown he was for me. He leaned in, burying his head in the crook of my neck and smelling me as if to confirm I was here, safely by his side. He had no idea how much that little gesture meant to me.

Dante had gotten up and stood by the lawyer when I was talking, and they looked at each other like they were having a mental conversation. I saw Dante mouth “get that bastard”, and my pulse spiked knowing they really did have my back.  It was such an odd feeling since I’d always had to take care of myself. Odd but comforting.

I was getting tired again and needed to finish this up. “The next thing I knew, there were flames coming from the kitchen, and he was stepping over Jaxon’s body on his way out. He left me there to take the blame for killing a police man, whether I lived or died in the fire. Either way, he didn’t care. He’s the one that shot at me from his car.  I saw him when he aimed.”

Holden and Dante exchanged a look as Dante strode over and sat on the edge of my bed. “Are you sure? Is that what you meant earlier when you said he shot at you?”

I would never forget the expression on Sam’s face. The look that said he knew he’d fucked up. “Yes, it was him,” I said with quiet certainty, glad it was over.

Each moment that led up to me being wheeled out to the ambulance played in slow motion, and it hit me.  Panicked, I asked, “Oh shit! How is the EMT that got shot?”

Detective Carr looked surprised that, under the circumstances, I’d be concerned about someone else. “He just got out of surgery. Doctors say he will have a long recovery, but he will make it.”

I let out a big sigh of relief.  There was no way I’d be able to live with another death on my conscience.

Holden whispered, “We can stop now, just say the word.”

I loved that he was trying to give me an out, but he didn’t understand that I had to get this over with now.  I didn’t want to do this later.

“Are we almost done?” he asked Carr, irritated. “She’s been through enough.”

“Just a few more questions and we’ll leave,” Carr answered, then he returned his attention to me. “Did he say why he did this?”

“Yeah.” I dropped my head and breathed out. “He’s Travis Malcolm’s son.”

The entire room took in a collective gasp.

“That son of a bitch,” Carr breathed. By his reaction, I wondered if Sam had even been on their radar, or if they assumed I’d done it. Turning his head to the side, Detective Carr mumbled to the officer beside him, “Go back to the fire chief and see if we can get that video any sooner, as well as any others from the surrounding businesses.”

The officer gave a quick dip of his head and left the room.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Dante fisting his hands. “Sam is that motherfucker’s son?”

“So you didn’t know he was his son either?” Officer Carr addressed Dante.

Dante glared at Carr. “How the fuck would I know? I wasn’t given that information.”

“Wait, what information?” I turned to Detective Carr. “What aren’t you telling me?”

Clearing his throat, Carr loosened his tie while Dante stood up once more. The detective eyed Mr. DeSoto, who was taking notes at the same time.

“I’m sorry, Ms. Donovan, but the media somehow found out who you are, and it’s all over the news, along with pictures and video of you at the scene.”

I didn’t have a chance to react before Dante grunted, “This shit is out of control.” He addressed his lawyer, “Take care of the contract and financial arrangements. I’m calling in Marcus and his security team.”  His boots squeaked on the linoleum as he pulled his phone out of his pocket and bolted out of the room, leaving me stunned and at a complete loss.

My story is on the news? Well, what the fuck does that mean for me now?

It wasn’t until the next morning that I was allowed to take a shower while they changed my bedding.  Scrubbing most of that soot and grease off was a bitch, but man it felt good getting that shit off me. Even the film of ash that was separate from the dark, oily residue had felt thick.  It baffled me how something that floated through the air like a feather could weigh so heavily on my skin. 

The swelling and bruises on my face were worse than yesterday.  I’d been told that was to be expected. I still couldn’t believe that the only two men that had ever left marks on me turned out to be father and son.  Unlike my scars, these bruises will go away over time.

I was just getting settled on the uncomfortable hospital mattress, ready to eat the delicious smelling breakfast Holden had just brought when Dante stepped into the room. As usual, he was wearing his normal get up, tie and all. He set a shopping bag on the counter outside my bathroom, then grabbed a chair and his designated breakfast container before sitting down.

Holden lifted his eyebrows and pointed to the bag. “Is that what I asked Christina to get?”

Dante opened the plastic container and took a bite of eggs. “Mmhmm.”

Now I was curious as to what was in the bag, but since my stomach was rumbling, I decided to dig into my food instead of asking about it. The last full meal I’d eaten was the pizza April had ordered the night of the fire. That thought made me realize I still had to face her and apologize for being deceitful. I couldn’t imagine what she was going through right now.

The guys and I ate our food in silence while watching an
I Love Lucy
rerun.  Holden sat close by, occasionally patting my leg or touching my arm, his little way of keeping our connection. One of the many things that drew me toward him from the beginning was the way he always backed his words up with actions. He wanted me to feel his promises, not just hear them.

The hospital staff seemed confused whenever they saw the three of us together. Dante had apparently told them he was my fiancé in order to go in the ambulance with me. But thankfully, Holden was the one that got to stay and hold me all night.

They could think whatever they wanted as far as I was concerned, but I did hate the looks of pity some of them gave me after I assumed they’d learned about my story. I'd have to get used to those looks since the secret I’d kept hidden for so long was out in the world. Sometimes it felt like I would forever be known as one of Travis Malcolm’s victims.

Holden’s thumb swiped back and forth on my hand as he tried to get my attention. I offered a tight smile, and he mouthed, “You okay?”

I loved when he asked that.  It told me he was in tune with me and could tell when something was off.

“Yeah, just thinking. I’m okay, though.” I felt bad dragging him into this shitty part of my life, my past and the baggage that came with it.

He leaned in to kiss my cheek as Dante got up and threw his trash away.  Dante stood at the foot of my bed, puckering his lips like he was considering how to say something.

Huffing, he turned the TV down and finally spoke with authority, “So, this is the plan.” He paused to frown at us. “Until Sam is caught, or we can sort all of this out, you’re staying at my house, Jules.”

Holden immediately stiffened, his eyes igniting. “Hold on, I don’t think so. She’s staying with me.” 

All I could do was glance between them.  Dante had promised they were going to work through this, but this was not what I was seeing.

“Listen to the whole thing before you shit on it.” Dante wiped his hands with a napkin before tossing it across the room into the trash. “You can both stay at my house.  Yours is too exposed and difficult to keep covered.  You know how secure mine is, and I’ve hired a security team to stand guard around the clock.” 

Holden relaxed a little, but his glare didn’t waver.

I’d already decided last night that I wasn’t going to fight their help if I was to survive.  I’d always refused handouts in the past. Not necessarily because of my excessive pride. My almost daily lunches at the church proved I was going to survive despite any lingering pride. But handouts could be taken away, or they came with strings attached. 

When I worked and earned what was due to me, I could hold on to it, possess it. It couldn’t be taken from me, and only I controlled what I did with it. It was harder for someone to destroy me by stealing it. This, willingly giving all control to them, was scary as hell, but I had to trust they would follow through and not rescind.

This wasn’t like other times when I felt obligated to give in to guys.  Dante and I still had some things to work out, but it felt incredible that both he and Holden wanted to protect me.  Although my relationship was different with each of them, I seemed to fill a small part of their lives just like they filled mine.

“I’m up for whatever you guys think is best,” I said to both of them but only looked at Holden.  He needed to know that, between the two of them, I was seeking his approval first.

Holden watched me carefully. “He only has two bedrooms, Jules. I don’t want you to ever feel like we’re staying together out of convenience like you had to before.”

“So you can sleep on the couch, and she’ll stay in the guest room.” Dante was quick to cock an eyebrow and smirk at his brother.

I sat up, needing to set Dante straight. “No, we can stay in the same room. At whichever house is best. And it won’t just be out of convenience. We’re past that and I…I trust you.” I was taken back by my admission. It was such a foreign yet amazing feeling to trust someone.  Never in my life had I trusted anyone before, and as shitty as it sounded, not even Casey. Thank God it never happened, but there was always a possibility that Travis would push one of us too far, and we’d snap.

Holden’s smile was almost gleeful since I’d contradicted Dante.  “Listen guys, I’m willing to let you help me, but you can’t treat each other like crap because of me. Dante, you said you’d work through this.”

Holden stood up, then sat beside me on the bed. “Dante and I’ll work through it. He just likes to give me shit, the way brothers do.”

I glanced at Dante, who was nodding, then decided to ask him something that had been nagging at me.

“Why were you so hot and cold with me anyway? And why did you try to keep us apart?” I asked as Holden settled into my side, ready to hear the answer himself.

Dante’s expression said he was cautiously considering his answer. “As I’m sure Holden has probably told you by now, our father was destroyed by love.  It made him weak, and he’s spent most of his adult life moping around because he fell so hard.” He stopped to calculate what he should add to it. “I saw Holden following the same path, and I couldn’t watch it happen.”

I understood where he was coming from since I’d felt the same way before I met Holden. Regardless, I had to question him about it. “So you think love makes you weak? That it can destroy you?” Verbalizing those words caused my insecurities to creep up out of nowhere.  But all it took to push them aside once more was one glance at Holden. His knowing look reminded me of what he’d said about the risk being worth it.

Lifting an eyebrow, Dante slowly nodded. “When everything inevitably falls apart, yes.”

“So you thought that would happen to us? Even though we were barely getting to know each other?”

“While you’ve gradually earned my respect, I honestly thought your past would crush my brother. Now that I’ve watched how close you guys are, I can see you’re in even deeper than I realized. You may feed each other strength now, but the day you’re no longer together, for whatever reason, I think your feelings for each other will ultimately destroy at least one of you.”

“Well, that sounds hopeful,” I said sarcastically, not wanting to believe him.  Then again, I’d seen it happen to others.

“Hey, I’m not going to hide my opinion.” 

Clearly.

Breaking the seriousness, he changed the subject. “Did they say when you were being discharged?”

“Sometime today.”

He got up and pointed to the bag.  “Those are the clothes Christina picked out for you.”

“Who’s Christina?” I inquired as I applied the lip balm Holden had given me earlier.

Holden smiled playfully and patted my leg. “You might remember her from the gym that day we let Amber go. She’s Vince’s wife and really cool.  I’m sure you guys will get along great.”

I tried not to gloat over the fact that they fired Amber, that bitch receptionist at the gym, because of me. “Yeah, I remember Christina.  She seemed really nice.”

“I’m going to work for a bit, maybe even head home early and relax before you guys crowd my space.” Dante cracked a smile of his own, surprising me.  That was a rare sight, but he had a magnificent smile, just like his brother. He thumped his knuckles on the footboard of the bed before stepping toward the door. “Keep me up to date.  I’ll talk to Marcus about an exit strategy since there are still a few of those vultures outside.”

“Okay, see you later, man,” Holden said casually. It was nice to see them act so normally around each other.

Once Dante left, I snuggled into Holden, playing with the collar of his shirt.  “Now that the media knows who I am, they aren’t going to leave me alone.  Are you sure you’re up for that?” I bit my lip, hating that I was still letting him see my insecurities.

He kissed the top of my head. “I’ve never been more certain about anything.  The attention is gonna suck, but we’ll manage. Don’t worry about it right now, though.”

Lifting the remote, he turned up the volume on the TV when a newsbreak came on.  I sat up and braced myself, but it wasn’t as bad as I’d thought. Pretty much the same thing about the fire and that they were actively looking for Jaxon’s killer.  The only thing said about me was that I’d been victimized as a child by Travis and then again by Jaxon’s murderer.  They still didn’t know the connection.

Holden rubbed my back as we watched the next quick news bit announcing that Maxwell Industries was awarded the contract to handle all the government agencies that had recently had their computer systems hacked.

I remembered reading about that online the other day.  I still say that made me thankful I didn’t have my own electronic devices

“Like that guy needs more power and money,” Holden grumbled.

I nodded in agreement. Even I knew who Raymond Maxwell was. He seemed to have his hands in everything and had started with very little.  From what I’d read, he’d also been in the foster care system and fought the odds by studying hard and starting his own business right out of college. After investing his profits, he became a millionaire and had more money and power than he knew what to do with.