Remember Me: Oakville Series:Book Two (20 page)

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I cross another day off my calendar, I’m so thankful. Today I hit twenty-two weeks. I’m so close now. Getting to thirty-two weeks would be ideal with triplets. Though, my main goal is to get to twenty-five weeks. The babies have the greatest chance for survival after that time.
Three more weeks
, I keep saying to myself, over and over again. For the first time, I really think everything will turn out okay.

Kyle and I had a talk after the girls and I had our slumber party. I wasn’t able to get a whole hell of a lot out of him. He says he’s just trying to deal with the stress of everything, but I have a feeling there’s something more to it. I just wish he would tell me what’s really bothering him. He shouldn’t have to go through this alone. Unfortunately, by not talking to me, it feels like I’m all alone in this. Once we get past the danger point, he can relax and get back to normal. At least, I hope he can.

Paul, Holly, and Becky have been here for a few hours. I was craving pizza earlier so, like the awesome friends they are, they brought one over. The five of us are sitting in the bedroom eating and watching movies. I’ve been laying in my bed all day because I haven’t felt like moving to the couch. I’m paying for it now though because my back is killing me. No matter which way I turn, it doesn’t seem to ease up.

“Amber, sweetie, are you okay?” Becky asks. Standing up from the chair, she comes and sits next to me on the bed. Paul pauses the movie and everyone’s attention is on me. The concerned looks they are all giving me has me very uneasy.

“Yeah, my back is just bothering me. I’ve been in this bed too long,” I explain, but Becky still looks concerned.

“It’s just your back? Do you have pain anywhere else?” She’s in nurse mode. Sometimes a backache is just a backache. Right? Apparently not. Becky and Kyle share a worried look.

“No, just my back. It’s from being in here all day. It wouldn’t feel like this if I’d have spent time on the couch some today.” She gives me a smile that I’m guessing is meant to keep me calm. Everyone’s looking at her now and wondering why she is so worried. I’m curious too. What’s the big deal about a backache? I have them all the time because of laying down so much and the fact that my belly is the size of a Volkswagen.

“I think maybe you should call your doctor,” Becky says, way too calmly. A way that has me scared to death. My body starts to tremble and I can’t seem to catch my breath.

“Why? What’s wrong?” Kyle blurts as he pulls his phone out, ready to dial our doctor.

“It’s possible you could be in labor. I don’t want to scare you, but better safe than sorry.” Before she can finish, Kyle is on the phone with the doctor’s answering service. He gives all the info then hangs up. Immediately, he begins pacing the floor. He looks like a caged animal. It’s really not helping my already frazzled nerves. To make matters worse, it’s so quiet in this room, you could hear a pin drop.

How could I have been so stupid? I’ve read about back labor, I just thought it would feel different. If something’s wrong, it’s all my fault. My back has been hurting for hours and I’m too fucking stupid to know something’s wrong.

“Amber, please stop crying. Don’t get so worked up until we know something for sure,” Holly says as she wipes tears from my eyes that I didn’t realize were falling.

Even in the state I’m in right now, I still notice something that only adds to my distress. Holly is on one side of me, Becky on the other, and Paul is on the end of the bed rubbing my feet. But Kyle… Kyle is nowhere near me. He’s on the other side of the room with his back is turned to us as he stares out the window. The one person who should be comforting me is the farthest away. Deep down, he does blame me for all of the hell we’ve been going through. What other explanation is there? I can’t think about this now. The most important thing is the babies. Whatever is going on with Kyle will have to wait until later. The phone rings, it’s Dr. Monty. Kyle explains that I have been having lower back pain for several hours.

“On our way,” he says and quickly ends the call. All of a sudden, Kyle is scooping me up in his arms. “Dr. Monty will meet us at the hospital. Paul, can you please drive?” Paul nods yes. Kyle carries me all the way to Paul’s SUV and lays me down in the back seat. As soon as everyone else piles in, we’re on our way.

The usual twenty-minute drive feels like it’s taking much longer. I only had three more weeks to go. If they can stop it again like before, then maybe I can hold on for three short weeks.
Please God! Let me hold on a little longer.

Once we get to the hospital, it’s the same routine as before. I’m hooked to IV’s and monitors. By the time they finish hooking everything up, I know without a doubt that I’m in labor. With each contraction, it’s as if my insides are being twisted in knots. If I would have felt like this earlier, I’d have known without a doubt I was in labor. I’m trying to stay calm and think positive, but this is the worse it’s been. They put pain meds in my IV to help me relax. I wake up slightly disoriented, not realizing I fell asleep. Kyle is in a chair across the room, staring into space.

“Hey, is everyone still here?” I squeak out, my throat dry.

“No. Paul and Holly took Becky home a while ago. They brought my truck up and dropped it off in case I needed it.” He sounds so tired and doesn’t look much better either. I look at the clock again and see that it’s after midnight.

“Maybe you should go home and get some sleep too. I’m gonna keep falling asleep anyway.” There’s no point in us both being uncomfortable all night long.

“I don’t want to leave you alone. What if something happens? I need to be here with you.” Before I can argue, the doctor comes in. He tells us that the contractions have slowed down but haven’t completely stopped. They are going to keep giving me the magnesium and hope by morning they’ve stopped completely.

“Kyle, why don’t you go home and get some sleep? If anything changes tonight, we will call you right away. We’ll have Amber sleeping most of the night anyway,” he says to Kyle, encouragingly. Who the hell is he trying to fool? Oh... then it dawns on me. He’s trying to help me get Kyle home. He knows I won’t be sleeping for more than forty-five minutes at a time. They have to come in to draw blood every hour to check the Magnesium levels. It’s going to be a miserable night.

“I’ll be leaving for the night myself. Dr. Jarrett will be the doctor on the floor if you need anything. They’ll call me if there are any changes. I’ll see you in the morning.” With his usual comforting smile, he shakes Kyle's hand, pats my shoulder, and walks out the door.

“You should go home and get some rest. I’ll call if anything happens. One of us needs to be one hundred percent.”

“Only if you promise to call me if anything changes or you need me.”

“I will. I’ll be okay, you don’t have to worry.”

“I love you and our babies more than anything, princess. You know that, right?” He looks like he’s lost his best friend. There’s sadness and regret in his eyes. The sadness I understand completely, I feel it too. The regret I see scares me. What is it he regrets? Is it being with me or having the babies? I wish he would talk to me and tell me what’s been bothering him.

“Of course I know that. I love you, too. Now, go home and get some rest. I’ll see you in the morning.” I give him my best reassuring smile as he leans down and kisses me. There’s so much passion and love in his kiss, it contradicts what I see in his eyes. When it’s over, I’m left breathless. I’m so confused.

“See you first thing in the morning,” he says. With one last chaste kiss on my lips, he walks toward the door. Before walking out, he looks back at me with a look I can only describe as sympathetic. Maybe he really does hate leaving me here alone.

The mixture of pain meds and sleeplessness are making me slow. I try to roll onto my side to get comfortable. The thin white sheet slides against my protruding belly as I begin to roll over and immediately stop. Just that slight movement causes a stabbing pain to shoot through my body. Moving my hand to my belly, I slowly and gently move it around and wince at the pain.
Why is my belly so tender to touch?
I pull my legs up in an attempt to get more comfortable and feel wetness between my legs.
Something’s wrong. Something’s very wrong.
Trying not to panic, I feel around for the call button. When I find it, I press it several times. The longer it takes the nurse to come in, the more freaked out I get. Every time I move, it hurts. It’s not the same pain I’ve been feeling with the contractions.

“What do you need, honey?” The nurse assigned to me asks in her forced concerned voice. She’s been a bitch to me since she came on duty tonight.

“Can you please get the doctor for me? Something’s wrong. I’m in pain and I feel a lot of wetness between my legs.” She eyes me like I’m a nut job.

“Sweetie, calm down, all of that is normal. You’re still having contractions, there’s going to be pain. The wetness you’re feeling is the amniotic fluid that’s been leaking since you had the cerclage,” she says in her usual condescending voice. What is it with this bitch?

“Please, just call the doctor. I know my body, it’s not the same pain as the contractions. As far as the wetness, it’s not amniotic fluid. This hasn’t happened before.”

“I’ll give you something more for the pain. Dr. Jarrett will be back in at four. He can check you over then,” she states as she walks out the door, not waiting for a response from me. What the hell? I know something is wrong. I know my own body. I’m helpless here. I can hardly move from the excruciating pain I’m in, along with all of the crap they have me hooked to. It’s only two-thirty, so I have another hour and a half before a doctor will look at me. The door opens and a different nurse comes in. She’s been really nice, but I can tell she takes her orders from Nurse Ratchet. I try anyway, my babies’ lives are at stake.

“Can you please call the doctor for me? Something is wrong and Nurse Ratchet out there doesn’t want to listen to me,” I plead. She gives me that look that says, ‘I’m sorry, but you’re on your own’.
This place sucks. She puts more pain medication into the IV before she walks out the door. Somehow, I manage to fall asleep.

My sleep is anything but restful. Even with all of the pain meds, the slightest touch across my belly has me in complete agony. To make matters worse, I feel like I’m lying in a puddle of water. Four o’clock came and went without a visit from Dr. Jarrett as Nurse Ratchet had promised. I have begged and pleaded with anyone and everyone who has walked into this room to please get me a doctor, but no one will listen. For hours, I have been laying here sobbing quietly to myself and praying someone would come help me and my babies. I have a terrible feeling that it’s too late. Whatever this is, it’s bad. I can feel it.

“Hey there, are you okay? I’m Dr. Courtney, the floor doctor for the day,” she introduces herself, sounding concerned. I didn’t even hear her come in. I try to roll over so that I’m lying flat and can see her.

“Please, just humor me, I have begged all night for someone to just look at me. Something isn’t right. The slightest touch to my belly feels like I’m being stabbed and I’ve been laying in what feels like a puddle all night. No one will even lift the damn sheet to see what it is! So, please, if nothing more than to shut me the fuck up, look under the sheet!” I yell, my frustration and fear reaching its limit. I know she just got here, but someone needs to fucking listen to me. She begins putting on a pair of gloves and I feel slightly relieved. Walking to the foot of the bed, she sets the chart down. She grabs the corner of the sheet, lifts it just barely off the bed, and gasps. Fear races through my veins once more, paralyzing me to the unknown of what she’s going to say. She pulls a phone out of her lab coat pocket.

“Get Dr. Monty here now,” she barks into the phone before walking over to me and sliding the thermometer across my forehead. “Amber, you have an infection. That’s why you hurt so badly and it’s the wetness you feel. I’ll call your husband for you then I’m going to take care of the night staff that should have caught this. I’m so sorry you went through this all night.”

“What does this mean? What about the babies?” Deep down, I know what the answer is, but part of me is hoping that by some miracle, I’m wrong. By the expression on her face, I know my miracle isn’t going to happen.

“Dr. Monty can tell you more, but the babies will need to be delivered.” That one little sentence shatters my entire world. Still trying to grasp any little thread of hope I can find, I think maybe, just maybe, they could still be okay. I can’t let myself give up.