Remembered (12 page)

She could have sworn that she felt him squeeze her hand just
a little as she climbed down. “It was lovely, thank you,” she replied.

They walked up a steep hill that gave way to a beautiful
view. There, in the center of what looked like an enormous forest, was a lake
that must have spanned two miles wide. The lake was surrounded by the most
gigantic trees she’d ever seen, and was alive with geese, ducks, and swans
swimming on the silvery-blue water.

“Lovely, isn’t it? Kellus whispered into her ear.

“It’s beautiful,” she answered.

Annie was the last of the four to jump into the water. The
cold was an immediate shock to her system.

Kellus—who was underwater—broke surface right in front of
her, smiling. He pushed his wet hair back from his face. Tiny droplets created
three or four little clumps on his eyelashes, accenting his beautiful eyes. She
pulled her gaze from his lovely face, only to gasp at his well contoured arms
and shoulders. Suddenly, she was thankful for the freezing water for giving
her—what would seem like—a legitimate reason for shivering uncontrollably
before him.

The Citadom should be ashamed for claiming such a perfect
male, for leaving an unfortunate woman—namely her—unable to feel that perfect
body up close and personal. The Citadom was supposed to uphold all that was
good and virtuous and right, but this was, beyond any doubt, a crime against
humanity.

He laughed. “You’re turning blue,” he said, reaching out to
rub his big strong hands up and down the tops of her arms, causing her to
shiver even more. He narrowed his eyes. “Maybe you should move around a bit,”
he suggested.

After a couple of hours—and when they were all well
pruned—they climbed out of the water and lay on the grass bank to dry in the
sun.

Max and Cora were completely taken with Kellus, and he with
them. The way they talked, joked, and laughed together, it was evident that an
irrefutable friendship was developing between them, making her only want him
more—he was already thoroughly brother and sister approved. How would she ever
get over this ridiculous addiction, especially since it was becoming obvious
that he didn’t possess any personality disorders after all—he was perfect.

As the afternoon wore on, Kellus sat cross-legged on the
grass, chatting away with the twins about school. All of a sudden, Cora leaned
into Max and whispered something in his ear. The twins abruptly decided it was
time to go explore the forest.  Annie knew Cora was purposely giving her and
Kellus time alone, but for what, she had no clue. It was bad enough that she
was pining for an unavailable man, but now Cora was in collusion with that
stupid notion, and worse yet, was dragging Max into her schemes.

Annie turned to Kellus when the twins had gone. “What things
do you learn at the Citadom?” she asked, leaning back on her elbows, facing
him.

“We learn how to open our minds to the power of the Universe,
and to use that power for the benefit of others,” he replied, “among many other
things.”

“How do you do it?” she asked.

“Through much meditation, to begin with,” he answered.

“You meditate?” she questioned.

“For thirty minutes every morning,” he responded, “and at
least thirty minutes in the evening, if not an hour.”

“What is this power, this power of the Universe?” she
questioned

“Well, first and foremost, it is love,” he answered. “It is
pure, unconditional love, the very essence of the creator.”

“And you can use this power for yourself?” she asked.

“One can. After all, we are all part of the Universe,
therefore, one with everything in it,” he answered, “but it’s not advised, at
least not for us at the Citadom. The power works better when it’s in service to
others. Isn’t that what love really is, the giving of yourself to others?”

“But you could if you wanted?” she pushed, fascinated. “You
could use this power to obtain anything?”

“Yes, Annie,” he chuckled. “You could use it to obtain
anything you wished, provided what you desire doesn’t hurt others. Why do you
ask?” he questioned, eyeing her with amused suspicion. “Do you want to find a
way into the vaults at the Bank Building, or some other lofty target?”

“Of course not,” she protested. “I don’t desire money. Well,
not enough to obtain it illegally.”

“I know. It was merely a poor attempt at humor. I’m sorry,”
he said, still chuckling.

“Since you asked, I’d like to know what kind of things
you
would wish for,” she questioned eagerly. “What kind of things you desire.”

“Things that I’m not supposed to want or desire,” he replied
much too quickly and solemnly, looking straight across the lake, pulling blades
of grass from the ground.

“Like what?” she queried, feeling suddenly sorry that she’d
asked. It seemed her question caused him pain.

“We’re not supposed to want anything for ourselves,
especially while we’re apprentices. That’s one of the reasons that we wear a
uniform and have very little possessions at the Citadom. Our minds are supposed
to be cleared of all earthly desires. We are supposed to want only to serve the
public,” he explained.

“Supposed?” she said. “You said that more than once. It’s as
though you don’t completely believe what you say.”

“I
do
believe, in theory at least. My disbelief comes
from not understanding how it can be wrong for a person to want something if it
wouldn’t hurt another, that is. Especially when they have tried to push it from
their mind, but the desire is so strong that they cannot fight it. I can’t
understand how something like that could be wrong. Isn’t it the creator that
puts the want, the desire there to begin with?”

“I think I know what you mean,” she said, staring down at
the grass.

She looked up to Kellus gazing at her pensively. “Do you,
Annie? Do you really know what I mean?” he asked skeptically.

She thought he was about to say something else, something
that she wouldn’t want to hear, so she changed the subject. “So, meditating
helps hone this power?” she questioned.

“The purpose of meditating is to quiet the mind. When the
mind is quiet, one’s individual story is also quieted, the petty details of
their human life. With a quiet mind, it is far easier to sense the oneness with
all things, then to be in service of the creator through the Universal power.
It’s daunting at first, hard to comprehend, but it comes clear gradually,” he
explained, shrugging his shoulders and smiling warmly, but a ghost of the pain
still reflected in his eyes.

Cora and Max walked out from the trees at that moment,
effectively ending the conversation.

“Who’s hungry?” Kellus said after a few seconds of silence,
his mood suddenly brighter.

They made their way back across the field and down the hill
to the carriage.

The journey to the inn took only minutes.

They had a wonderful dinner, and by the time they were ready
to leave, night had fallen.

Annie sat up front next to Kellus on the journey back west,
giving Max and Cora the space to lie down on the blankets in the back of the
carriage.

“It was a wonderful day, Kellus. I can’t thank you enough,”
she said as they traveled along in almost complete darkness.

“The pleasure was mine. I should thank
you
,” he
answered. “It was an honor to spend the day with you and your family. I’m
amazed at how well I get along with the twins. I like them both very much.”

“Only the twins?” she asked.

“No, I like you as well,” he replied, “much more than I
should,” he added in a low voice, causing butterflies in her stomach.

They traveled along in silence for some time, the darkness eerie.
It was almost impossible to see anything, and Annie was scared that they would
veer off the road. Thankfully, the moon emerged from behind the clouds just
before they reached the East-West Crossing.

As they approached the place where her parents had fallen to
their deaths, she felt Kellus reach over and take her hand. “It must be hard
for you to pass here,” he said softly.

“It’s sad for me. It was such a strange accident. I wish it
never happened. I often wonder how different my life would have been if they
hadn’t died,” she answered.

“I know,” he said quietly, squeezing her hand. “What was
your mother like?” he asked. She could tell that he was trying to distract her.

“Mother was beautiful,” she responded. “She was so kind and
loving, always hugging and kissing us. There was never a doubt that we were
loved deeply. My father adored her. It often seemed that he never really got
over his good fortune in convincing her to marry him.”

As they journeyed on, Kellus did not relinquish her hand.
She kept her fingers resting in his all the way home.

“Would you mind if I stayed for a while?” he asked when they
pulled up in front of her house. “I need a rest from driving before I continue
home.”

“Of course,” she replied.

Max trudged past them, walking half asleep, down the hall
into his bedroom.

Cora hugged Kellus’s neck and kissed his cheek. “Thank you,
Kellus. I had a perfect day,” she said.

“It was my pleasure,” he answered, hugging her back.

She squeezed Annie’s hand as she passed.

Annie and Kellus sat down at the kitchen table together, and
once again, talked for hours.

“Would you like me to read your cards?” she asked. She jumped
up and grabbed a deck from one of the kitchen drawers after an awkward moment
of silence. She was willing to try anything to keep him there longer.

“You read cards?” he asked, raising his eyebrows. “That’s
impressive.”

“Not very well,” she countered. “I do it only for amusement.
I don’t really believe in such things, though my mother did.”

“All right then, let’s have it,” he said with a soft laugh.

After Kellus shuffled and picked out his cards, she laid
them out in a formation that her mother had taught her, and turned them over.
And then she burst into laughter. “I told you this was make believe,” she
warned playfully.

“What?” he asked, laughing along with her.

“According to your cards, you’re going to marry soon,” she
informed him

“I’m going to marry?” he asked, amused. “I’m sure the men at
the Citadom would be interested in this information.”

“Oh, it gets better, Kellus. Not only are you going to
marry, but you are going to marry a woman that you are desperately in love
with, a rare and almost magical love that most people don’t find in a
lifetime,” she announced, her head still bent over the cards.

“How very interesting,” he replied with a chuckle.

“Did you always know you would never marry?” she asked,
looking up at him. “Was there ever a time when you thought you would before you
decided to join the apprenticeship at the Citadom?”

“Once I dreamt of it,” he confessed. “I once lost my heart
to a beautiful girl. I imagined for weeks after what it would be like to have a
girl like that all to myself.”

Nothing could have prepared her for the rush of envy that
bombarded her. “Did she feel the same way?” she asked.

“She didn’t even know I existed,” he said with a sigh. “I
was very young at the time. It passed, I guess, and then shortly after, I
learned that there was a position secured for me at the Citadom, should I wish
to take it. It seemed like a more noble life to me, being in service to the
public. So this is the path I’ve chosen.” He gazed into her eyes with the
strangest, unreadable look on his face, a look that she found disturbing in a
way she couldn’t understand, almost causing her to visibly flinch.

“Would you like a cup of tea?” she questioned, jumping up to
fill a pot with water. She could not shake the uneasy feeling that his
expression caused her. She turned to look at him briefly, and saw that the look
remained. His eyes bore into her, his jaw locked.

He looked away and towards the window. A heavy breath passed
his pursed lips. “I should leave,” he said sharply. “I didn’t mean to stay so
long. It’s almost morning.”

“Of course,” she said, smiling in order to lighten the
suddenly heavy mood.

Then his expression softened. “Maybe I’ll have one more cup
of tea before I go, since you already have the water boiling,” he said.

When she turned back to the stove to remove the boiling
water, she lost her footing and fell forward. Her hands instinctively shot out
in front of her to break her fall. The left hand landed right into the open
flames, the right gripped the side of the stove allowing her to steady herself.
She let out a small scream and jumped backwards.

Kellus was on his feet in a second. He took her hand between
both of his and looked over it. “I don’t think it will burn,” he said,
examining the hand. “I think you pulled away in time to prevent a serious
injury.”

“I’m fine,” she agreed. “It was only the shock that caused
me to scream. It doesn’t hurt at all.”

She looked up into his face at the same moment he raised his
eyes from her hand. The strange look had returned. His eyes were half crazed
and locked with hers.

He leaned in suddenly and pressed his mouth against hers,
his left hand gripping the back of her neck, his fingers kneading her skin.

He kissed her with such force that it took her breath away.
Her heart pounded.

She threw her arms around his neck and twisted her lips
around his. He put his left hand on the back of her head, his right between her
shoulders. He walked her backwards until she rested up against the wall next to
the stove, and then leaned into her. She could feel every part of him pressed
up against her body.

His hand left her back and rested on the side of her face.
His lips left hers. He kissed a trail down her neck to her shoulder, and back
up again.

“Annie,” he whispered before kissing behind her ear. “So
lovely,” he murmured, and then his mouth was back on hers again.