Renewing Hope (In Your World #2) (2 page)

"You have English friends that might help? Someone who might get an honest price?" he asked.

Mark grinned and looked over at me.

"You do not need to worry about that, Katherine. We will get a good price for your car. I have a good friend in town that can help," he beamed.

Jonah clapped his hand on Mark's shoulder and stood.

"Excellent! Let us get our day started then. I would like to be finished with our tasks by midday so that I can go check on the Jorgen twins born night before last," he announced.

Nathan stood and touched Jonah on the arm, stalling him.

"May I speak with you a moment alone, Jonah. It is important," he said and glanced back at me.

"Of course. Walk with me to the barn. You can help me prepare the horses," he said with a wink toward his beaming wife before he left out the back door.

Nathan glanced back once more at me before turning to follow Jonah outside.

Hannah leaned in close to me, smirking.

"Must have been a very fulfilling trip, yes?"

"Hannah!" Fannie exclaimed, but she couldn’t hide her grin when she turned back toward the sink to attend to the dirty dishes.

"I only say what we are all thinking," Hannah grumbled.

"It is none of our business what happened on the trip. Nathan deserved his Rumspringa. So did Katherine. It sounds like it was worth it," Mark teased, winking at me.

"That is the kind of Rumspringa I would have wanted. What did you show Nathan of your world?" Emma asked, grinning when I shook my head and turned to help Fannie with the dishes.

"Four days travel. And overnight together. That must have been revealing," Hannah quipped.

"Hannah, I am sure Nathan was respectful," Fannie argued, looking at me with inquisitive eyes, making my face turn scarlet. How had I forgotten how much my new family seemed to know of my secrets?

Mark kissed his wife and followed Nathan and Jonah outside a few minutes later, walking at an exaggerated pace to give Nathan his chance to speak with Jonah alone. I tried to keep my mind occupied with clearing the table, but Hannah and Emma wouldn't let me have any kind of peace.

"You will need to learn how to make your own dress," Hannah was saying.

"We can make ours together!" Emma exclaimed.

"Of course we will have to space the celebrations out some. Or maybe on the same day would be easier," Hannah mused.

"Nathan hasn't even asked Jonah yet," I whispered, laughing at how this was becoming a little too much at the moment. We had only just returned and my sisters were suddenly planning things.

"That is what he is doing now, Katherine. Do not try to deny it," Hannah admonished.

"Do you think Father will announce it right away? Or will he torture us and make us wait?" Abigail squeaked, all smiles and dancing around the table.

"Did you know, Mother?"

"How nervous do you think Nathan is right now?"

"I think he has been waiting to ask this for some time."

"Did he ask you on your trip? I wish I was there to see! I am sure he was tongue-tied!"

"Do you think the Elders will baptize you soon, then?"

“We will need to go buy more fabric for dresses.”

“Mama, I want a new dress, too!”

"Do you think the Bishop would allow a double wedding?"

"Would you stay here that night or go to Nathan's, I wonder?"

"That is not fair! I think they should stay here, just out of respect for us! We did not get the chance to have a wedding night alone!"

"But if you get married on the same day, that means two wedding couples in the same house."

“Where will I sleep? I wish I had a beau!”

I blinked and tried to follow along with them, hoping Fannie would put a stop to their banter.

But she joined in, albeit under the guise of the mother planning the celebration. It was too much when coming from each and every one of my new family.

"We will need to plan the feast. Perhaps we can do this before the first frost and we can have it all outside with the Jensen's tent. That would be lovely!"

"And the guests. This will be quite the news for the community! Three Bergers married in a few months’ time!"

We finally got back to work, setting the idea of weddings aside for the moment while chores needed to be completed. Later that morning, I volunteered to bring the men drinks, wanting an excuse to see Nathan while he worked. I found them behind the house, overturning the earth where the small garden had grown and was now being prepared for winter crops. Nathan slowed the horses as soon as he saw me, his face pink from the morning’s labor and the sunlight. Jonah and Mark stepped up and thanked me for their drinks before walking a short distance to give Nathan a chance to have a moment alone.

I looked around at the work they had accomplished, wondering about Nathan’s garden. Surely it was dry from being untended the last week or so. My thoughts drifted to what we might plant and I hid my smile at my sudden plans for the two of us. Already, I felt so at ease with making plans for our future together.

Nathan's hand brushed my cheek, my eyes coming to find his. He winked and handed me his cup, his smile never fading as he set back to work with the horses. His conversation must have gone well.

He was smiling and working with so much determination beside Jonah.

And Jonah was eyeing us with the doting eyes of a father.

Midday meal was quiet. My sisters watched Jonah in the hope that an announcement would be made. Abigail would then turn and scowl at Nathan, perhaps thinking he would announce the result of his conversation. But he remained silent while he grinned around his sandwich and brushed his leg more often against mine. Even I couldn't keep from smiling from all the giddy energy he seemed to have.

The rest of the afternoon passed, in much the same way it always did. Routines changed little. Chores were completed, the supper prepared, and mending finished, I was able to sit outside in the shade of the porch on my favorite swing, waiting for Nathan to return from his chores. The eager anticipation of seeing him crest the hill didn’t go unnoticed by my sisters, who laughed and discreetly departed inside when he appeared. Abigail made kissing noises before Emma dragged her upstairs.

I held my breath until he slowly climbed the porch steps, his hat in his hands as he sat down beside me, a small distance between us that felt like a mile. I handed him his glass of iced tea and we sat there in the quiet for a short time, enjoying the afternoon breeze.

His soft snort of laughter drew my gaze to eye him with curiosity.

He glanced down at the separation between us and rolled his eyes. Sliding my hand down to the swing, I let out a relieved breath when I felt his hand brush over mine in a feathery caress before taking it in his own and relaxing beside me.

“This will be difficult,” he murmured quietly, taking a long drink of his tea.

“Probably,” I said and chuckled when he squeezed my hand.

“We could take a walk,” he suggested, his eyes a little dark.

I glanced out to the yard, eyeing the barn and the corn as it waved and rustled in the breeze. Immediately, my good mood faltered from the shiver of fear I had felt earlier when I had neared the barn. The thought of going anywhere near the area where Sean had attacked me still made me fearful. Even with Nathan beside me, the corn’s vicious rustling made me hesitate.

“Supper will be ready soon,” I said, deflecting the need to explain my fear.

He squeezed my hand with gentle pressure and offered an understanding smile.

“You are probably right,” he whispered. “We should behave. We have the Bishop to impress.”

I let him think those reasons were why I hesitated. They were valid points. We had rules to follow and I was trying to prove myself. It was for the better. We sat in the swing for a long time and enjoyed the simple touch of our hands. His exaggerated sigh when we had to go inside mirrored the same regret I had when we had to let go of each other.

I missed Nathan’s touch. With the fear of the barn now preventing our private strolls, I missed his closeness even more. Nathan didn’t question why I didn’t want to walk with him, but I could see the want in his eyes every time he suggested it. I continued to let him believe that we needed to behave and left it at that.

His leaving at night left me feeling more vulnerable, like his presence protected me from the fear and danger of my past. The nightmares continued, with the cornfields separating us at every turn. Try as I might, I couldn’t navigate through the strangling stalks as they blocked out the light. I reached out for Nathan. My hands slid through open air, finding nothing to grab. Many nights my terror juggled between Sean with his forceful grip, and the dark glare of the Bishop, putting up his hand to bar me from reaching the end of the corn.

This would be much more difficult than I imagined.

CHAPTER 2

It was nearly a week before Nathan finally convinced me to walk with him in the waning afternoon. I had run out of excuses to avoid the side of the barn that had once offered us a pleasured moment of privacy. Stepping off the porch with him I held myself stiffly as we walked toward the shade of the barn, my eyes watching the dead stalks for any movement other than the fluttering afternoon breeze.

It was when I jumped at Nathan’s hand on mine that he frowned and stopped just out of sight of the house.

“What is wrong?” he asked, concern etching his features. “You look fearful.”

I swallowed and glanced past his shoulder to the mocking wave of corn. He glanced behind him, still confused.

“That’s where he took me,” I whispered. “I haven’t been able to get that out of my head. I have nightmares.”

Nathan’s eyes widened and he pulled me toward the house again with care.

“I did not know it frightened you,” he said and continued to hold my hand with a protective grip, even in view of the house. As if daring propriety further, he leaned in and kissed me on my temple.

“I will fix this,” he said and sat me back on the swing, his arm wrapped around me.

Although it should have been avoided for propriety’s sake, I took comfort in his embrace. It pushed away the tension and for the rest of the night, I felt as safe as I should have when I was with him. I made a promise to myself when I went to bed that night to stand up to my fear so that Nathan wouldn’t have to worry about me.

I was surprised the next morning when I stepped outside with Emma to milk the cows and discovered Nathan already in the field closest to the barn, his horses rigged up to one of Jonah’s larger machines, and already the first row of corn by the barn had been cleared from the earth. Behind him in the large wagon stood a man I recognized and was surprised to see working amongst the Amish.

Benjamin Yoder. I remembered him from the Gathering, seemingly months ago. Benjamin was the old friend of Nathan’s who had helped find me.

The Bishop’s son.

He was still dressed in English clothes, his dark hair grown out since the last time I had seen him and a wavy mess from the work. It was obvious he knew how to work the machinery. I wasn’t quite sure why he was here, but as Nathan looked up and spoke to him, I could tell the two had somehow resolved their differences. They smiled and called out to one another, working well as a team to complete the task at hand. Both were already soaked in sweat and Nathan’s concentration was such that he didn’t even notice Emma and me standing to watch him.

I jumped when I heard Jonah beside me.

“I woke up to find them hitching up the horses,” he said and looked toward the machine as it drew near. “Nathan is a good man to you.”

I nodded and felt my eyes burning as I stood there.

Nathan was clearing the field because it frightened me.

I swallowed and waved to him as he passed, my heart full when his smile broke out over his flushed face. Benjamin turned to see us, and I caught a tremulous smile from him before he returned to his task of spreading out the stalks in the wagon. Jonah hurried us into the barn for our chores and by the time we had returned to the house, I found Nathan cleaned up and sitting at the table with Jonah. Benjamin was nowhere to be seen, and I had to wonder why he hadn’t come in to eat after helping.

I slid in next to Nathan, feeling his rough hand take mine in my lap as Jonah recited prayers. While everyone seemed occupied with passing the biscuits and eggs, I leaned toward Nathan and whispered my thanks.

“I promised to see you safe. I will always see to that,” he murmured and that sweet smile graced his face before he straightened up when Jonah spoke.

“It is a shame that Benjamin could not join us,” he said, looking up from his coffee.

Nathan cleared his throat and nodded.

“He did not wish to put us in ill favor,” he mumbled, wiping the top of his biscuit at some of the yolk leaking onto his plate.

“He knows that he is always welcome,” Fannie replied, her heavy sigh loud in the quiet room. “Please remind him of that when you next see him. It would help him to see we have not given up hope on him.”

“He is of his own mind,” Nathan said in a hushed voice, wistful and melancholy. “But I will remind him. Thank you for your invitation, Fannie.”

“I miss him reading to us,” Abigail said, and even her exuberant voice seemed somber.

Benjamin Yoder had made an impression on many it seemed.

When I asked Nathan about it later that night, he nodded and looked off toward the newly turned earth by the barn.

“Benjamin was well respected growing up. It is not easy to be the son of the Bishop, particularly the youngest son. But Benjamin was charismatic and many loved him,” he said and frowned, looking down at his hand in mine.

“And then he lost his way,” I prompted. “Was he shunned?”

Nathan shook his head.

“The Bishop wanted to shun him. I remember that clearly. It was a month or so before you arrived,” he said and let out a long breath. “Benjamin’s mother pleaded with the Bishop not to shun her son. She was so ill with grief at Benjamin’s leaving that I believe the Bishop did not do so only out of fear of losing his wife as well.”