Repair Me (11 page)

             
“I’m not sure. I’m scared. I don’t know what’s ahead of me. But I do know that I’m happy to have you guys by my side.” He exhaled with a small sigh of relief. “My turn. Are you mad that you have to share your bed with me?”

             
“Answer is, I don’t
have
to, I want to.” He pulled his mouth to my cheek and left the imprint from his lips, catching me by surprise. “Alright…um.. Do you still love Anthony?”

             
“Seriously is this whole game going to revolve around Anthony?” I sighed but continued with my answer “Yes… but I am not in love with him. There is a huge difference. I will never be in love with him again. Okay, are you in love with someone right now?”

             
“No, why do you ask? It’s an obvious answer since I have you in my bed at the present time.”

             
“The song you sang. The night I met you. You sang about a woman you loved. I can’t remember all of the lyrics. But the words told a story about a woman with beautiful eyes, smile on her face… she left you… but she’ll be in your heart forever and no woman will ever replace her.”

             
He lay quietly in the bed, making not attempt to speak. My heart was racing and I wished I had never asked the personal question. I had invaded in a secret private memory and it was none of my business. Obviously the woman meant a lot to him. I wondered how long they had dated Why did she leave him and why did he have such strong feelings for her still? His mouth finally opened and he struggled to present words “I will always love her. And you’re correct about the lyrics, not one person will
ever
replace her. She was only with me for 8 months, but the best 8 months of my life.” I felt him stiffen as he pulled memories of the special woman. “Then my daughter died. She died in my arms. The Doctors all predicted a shorter time. So we cherished every moment together.”

             
“I am so sorry. It was not my business. Please, Davien, I’m sorry.”

             
“Don’t be sorry, Avery. You didn’t know. Not many people know except for the guys. She was beautiful and I am sorry you never got to meet her.” He was quiet for awhile before he spoke again. I placed my hand to his chest and I could feel the struggled pants under his skin. “I was 18 when she was born and at such a young age it still fucked up my head. Still does. But I have awesome memories. I’ll show you pictures sometime..... Now let’s change the subject.”

             
I was relieved when his voice changed. “Okay who’s turn?”

             
Without hesitation, he spoke “How many people have you ever slept with... and I mean how many have you had sex with... be honest”

             
“One. You?”

             
“As many as I want.” I slapped his shoulder with his smart ass comment. “No, seriously I’m not sure. More than I want to admit but its been months. So you’ve only been with Anthony?”

             
“Yeah.” It was the truth. Pitiful, but honest.

             
“So you were a fucking virgin until you were like 21 or something?” He laughed at the answer and question.

             
“Got drunk on my twenty-first birthday and lost my virginity. Not too many people can tell the same story, but it’s the truth.”

             
“Okay… good answer. My next question… Do you consider yourself single?”

             
“Yeah, I guess I do.” I said with a pause between each word. “Do you think I am?”

             
“Honestly I’ve considered you single since I first laid eyes on you.” Davien's fingers trailed over my shoulder as I quivered from his touch. “But I also noticed you were a very respectful woman. Do you know how badly I wanted to push those chicks off my lap the night I met you? You were gorgeous but Scott had already mentioned that Natalia was bringing a friend with… and she wasn’t single. I saw the hurt in your eyes as soon as I looked at you.”

             
“I thought you were ignoring me. You were a total jerk the first night. You even seemed annoyed by my presence.” He only laughed.

             
“Nah... just my way of trying to avoid a beautiful woman that wasn't single. Or she at least believed so.”

             
He had actually noticed me. He had come across as an arrogant ass. Conceded jerk and was proud of the many women that dangled from his arms. I never thought in a million years that he had watched me in any type of way. I figured he was politely introducing his self. “Okay I think we’ve asked enough questions for one night. We’ve got many more nights of sharing a bed until I save enough money for my own.”

             
“I’m not done.” he turned to his side, facing me so that he could make out my shadow in the darkness as I lay on my back. “That night, in this same bed, I asked you if you had one night as a single woman, would you have sex with me. Your answer was Yes. You are single, Avery.”

             
My heart was racing with embarrassment as I remembered those exact words and obviously he wasn't too drunk to forget them. “Then tell me why you moved my hand last weekend when I attempted to do something with you. I wanted you so badly and I
needed
you and I was pushed away.”

             
“Simple answer, Avery. You were not a single woman. I wasn’t touching you until you were. Now that I have the answer that I had been waiting for….”  He didn’t give me an answer before he pulled my face tight until our foreheads met. “I want you, Avery, I want you now.” I nodded my head with the answer he was waiting for.

             
His lips met mine and I pulled his hair in a tight fist, begging to be closer. Our lips were entwined with intimate pleasure. His hand dropped to my lower back side and he reached under my bottoms until he pulled me close against his waist. Now was the moment in which I had the answer, he had nothing under the towel.

             
Everything was happening in slow motion as he reached for my hand and guided it to his chest then turned to his back. His hand wrapped around my wrist and pulled my hand up his chest and down to his waist very slowly, the same exact trace that I had made. He did it over and over, each time his breathing quickened and I could feel vibrations of soft moans under my hand. He spoke with pauses every so often as he continued tracing my paths. “Avery, I have laid in this bed for the last week, using my own hand to try and imitate your tracks, but the touch is different. I wanted you so badly that night. It took everything for me to hold myself back. Each time your hand would rise, it dropped further below. I could hear your pants of need. You wanted me. You begged for my companion. You wanted me to heal your wounds. But I couldn’t and I wouldn’t. As much as I wanted… I didn’t.”

             
“You were never sleeping, were you?” He shook his head to my question.

             
“I didn’t want to be your rebound or your relief from pain. I wanted you to be mine because you truly wanted it.” The words he spoke sent shivers through my body. He had wanted me that night and he was totally correct. I wanted him so badly, I wanted his touch, but more than anything I just wanted comfort from another man. I wanted the comfort from Davien.

             
Now as I lay here in his arms, it was mind blowing that this outrageously gorgeous man, who attracted hundreds of women, wanted me. Of all the beautiful women from the bars, the stares at the stores… his eyes were on me. He reached over me and held his body above mine. He lowered his lips until he covered mine. He spoke between our kisses. “I want you, Avery,
please.
” His breathing quickened as he pressed his knees between my thighs and I never stopped him.

             
My heart was racing with desire. The man that every woman wanted, Davien Dodge, was soon to be inside of
Me!
As he lowered his self, his hands gripped at my panties, ripping them to the side. His tongue drew to my neck, leaving chills to run up my body. The feeling made my body squirm, all at the same time as his hard erection was positioned against me. He softly spread my legs further apart. I held a firm grip around his well defined arms. My fingers digging against him as he entered me gently. There was no force, only soft rhythmic pulses. I felt the hard groans from his chest as he plunged further into and my name was clear under his breath as he signaled me to follow his moves. 

             
Davien's hand fell to the hem of my shirt and lift it above my head, never releasing our bodies apart. His mouth dropped to my chest as his tongue worked against his strokes inside of me. I pulled my hands to his hair, where I gripped at him tightly, pulling him further against me. His moans of pleasure from me pulling at his hair, vibrated through my breasts. He continued teasing each of my nipples. Circling each and softly nibbling at my warm flesh. When his mouth rose from my chest, he moved his lips to meet mine. We drew each other in as we moaned together. I begged for his touch, deeper, but he continued to move slowly, teasing my needs.

             
My body was new to him, but he knew exactly what I wanted, everything. He touched sensitive nerves that I didn't realize existed. He paid close attention deep inside of me that no other man had ever touched. I worked with his moves as he directed me. My body squirmed, trying to pull away from the overwhelming power he was causing my body to react to, but he pinned me against the bed and continued working his magic. My body was shaking from his touch. His lips formed a smile in the shadows of darkness as he watched me fight my feelings. It was too late though. I dropped my hands to his lowered back as I pulled him tighter in me. My pulsing body gripped at him and I felt his desire being released the same as mine just had.

             
He was everything I had dreamed of, everything I wanted and more than anything, he was everything I
needed.
It felt different. And some how I knew that I was different to Davien that what he normally had. I wasn't the normal girl to him.

             
When I was with Anthony it felt like I was pleasing him, like I was returning a favor. With Davien, he was all about pleasing me, making sure he took care of me before his self. Almost like his pleasure was the deep moans from my body. He got a high from my feelings. I heard it in his voice.

☼

             
The next morning I woke to the soft light from the nightstand and Davien approached my side of the bed. “Good morning, beautiful.” He held out a mug .“I didn’t know if you want cream or sugar. I left it black but I’ll add whatever you need.”

             
“It’s perfect… thank you.” I sipped the hot liquid as he squat to kiss my forehead. I was sure he had woke within the last half hour, but he looked amazing. He was sporting black and white flannel pajama bottoms that nearly showed off the low dip of the sharp V below his waist line. His hair was messy after a wild night of long hours of amazing sex. I was glad to see that he was wearing pants when he was in the kitchen preparing my coffee. 

             
I tried my hardest to look at him the same way I had seen him when the lights were on before… but I couldn‘t. The man was astounding. He was far from selfish. He took care of my needs countless times before he released his self.  “It’s different, huh?” He said as his brow arched to me.

             
“What?”

             
“It’s different.” He spoke, not looking in my direction. “After last night. I can’t look at you the same.”

             
“What do you mean?” I wasn’t sure if he was upset from his actions from the previous night. Did he regret everything we did? I wasn't upset but I wondered if his feelings were the same as mine.

             
“I feel guilty. I feel like I took advantage of you.” He sighed before he spoke again. “But, Avery I never want it to end. I want you to be mine.”

             
“Yours?” I was stunned. Stunned with surprise and with worry. I wondered if this was just the line he told the many women after he slept with him. Was it the line before he sent them out the door? Was it the line just of pure guilt? Or maybe even worse was it the line from regret? I wanted nothing to do with any of those.

             
“I don’t want to be friends with benefits. I can’t do that. You’re not that type of a woman.
I want you.
” I could hear the embarrassment in his shaky voice. “I don’t want to lose you.” I had never yet heard Davien trip over his words, but he sounded different, he sounded scared from his own feelings.  Davien Dodge was nervous. Even though his words were comforting I also had the thought that maybe this was just his way of keeping me from the touch of any other man. Not that he truly wanted me, he was doing it out of jealousy.

             
“I’m not leaving.” I stood and wrapped my arms around his neck. I stood on my tippy-toes and met his lips to mine. “I don’t want to move too fast. But I promise I won’t leave. I’m broken right now, I have fallen apart, I’m a mess Davien but we will work together.”