Reshaping It All (11 page)

—Jenny

Dear Jenny,

I believe that good eating habits along with portion control and regular exercise can make a long-lasting difference in your life. You didn't mention the plans you've tried, but that's okay, because I don't think it's about the plan as much as it is the steps we take to putting that plan into action.

You can have a hundred people attend the same weight-loss meeting, and out of those hundred, half might succeed. You have to ask then what the other fifty were missing.

I believe we need four ingredients to move us along.

The first one is willpower. It seems like you have it to some extent, but I think that if you really had it, you wouldn't have to ask how to get back on track. Instead you'd be trying your hardest to stay there.

Next believe in yourself as much as you believe in me. I can't get you on track, but I'll tell you one encouraging thing, and that is that you can. Right this minute you have the ability to get right back on the wagon and stay there.

You need to stay in the right frame of mind, which tells you that getting off the plan is never an option. Decide to pursue it, and stay there. That doesn't mean that you can never have pizza or cookies again. It just means that you will be conscious and careful of what goes into your mouth.

If you don't know what steps to take, then I suggest starting with portion control. Eat until you are satisfied, and stop when you're full.

Finally, you have the ability to carry you long past a decade, but your actions will dictate if you do or you don't. Control your actions, and show them who's boss. After months or years of repetition, there is a place of freedom where we no longer have to try, because we naturally do.

Have fun, and let me know how it goes in ten years!

—Candace

A Pinch of Practicality

If you don't see yourself making the necessary progress you should, then I suggest you try the following exercise.

Take a piece of paper and divide it into four sections. At the top of each section, mark down the following:

• Willpower

• Belief

• Decision

• Action

Next I want you to fill in the section as your day moves along. Under the willpower section, list the things you want to do. Maybe it's control your appetite today, or get three loads of laundry done. It may be that you want to take a five-mile bike ride. Mark down several things you want to accomplish.

Under the "Belief" section I want you to list pats on the back. If you cleaned the bathroom, mark it down. If you stopped eating lunch when you were full, there's another. If you made a donation to your favorite charity, add that. By the end of the day, you will see that you have the potential to accomplish much. Also take time to list some "I cans" such as, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Or, "I can stop eating when I'm satisfied, and I will be fine when I do."

Decision. This goes one step farther than willpower. You will write down the things you want to do and the things you definitely will do. Make no mistakes about it, this column is not an option. You must carefully decide what is to be done and ensure that it gets done in the time frame you list.

The action column records the steps you have taken to ensure that willpower and decision are moving along. Mark down each step you take. This exercise will show your progress.

Set aside time to review it each night and to start a new list each morning until you feel that things are moving along on their own.

Food for Thought

The following list is a recap of the Scriptures we covered in this chapter. You may find it helpful to post them around the house on little notes where you'll see them often. The Bible is great encouragement for every step of the way:

• Jesus says, "Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." (Matt. 17:20)

• "Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you." (James 4:7)

The Candy Dish

Those who profess to favor freedom and yet depreciate agitation are people who want crops without ploughing the ground; they want rain without thunder and lightning; they want the ocean without the roar of its many waters. The struggle may be a moral one, or it may be a physical one, or it may be both. But it must be a struggle. Power concedes nothing without a demand; it never has and it never will. —Frederick Douglass

From My Stove to Yours

Orange Chicken Fajitas

Serves 4

Ingredients

1 package chicken breast tenders

2 yellow bell peppers

2 orange bell peppers

1 large white onion

¼ cup orange juice

1 tablespoon olive oil

Salt and pepper to taste

10 to 12 tortillas

Directions

Wash and cut the peppers and onion into thin strips. Wash chicken tenders and cut them into strips as well. Heat olive oil in a skillet and add chicken tenders, peppers, and onion. Cook all until chicken is cooked through. Vegetables should be tender. Add orange juice and let simmer for another 5 minutes. Salt and pepper to taste.

Serve on flour or multigrain tortillas.

Top with shredded lettuce, light sour cream, and Mexican cheese (optional).

EIGHT

Live an Adorable Life

He's a big kid for his age, has a lot of love inside of him, and he's funny. Maks has a whimsical way of making people fall in love with him because his personality is outgoing and fun. He'll talk your ear off, tell stories, and steal your heart with his big smile and twinkling blue eyes. He's not shy in the least and likes food the most. He could sweet-talk a dog off a meat truck and is never at a loss for words.

He's a leader, and his friends know it. He'll march by the beat of his own little drum, and if they don't follow, he's content to march alone. Like other kids, he enjoys video games and the computer, but nothing gets his heart beating like hockey does. Maks is so into hockey, that's all he wants to be, and he could play with a hockey stick and tennis ball all day long.

A short while back Maks and I went off to a shoe store together—just the two of us. Since there was a sale on UGGs, and I had wanted a pair of UGG slippers, we decided to shop. Getting into our SUV, I saw that he had a stick and tennis ball he wanted to bring along, and after one endearing look from the boy, I agreed.

While I surveyed the shelves, looking for the right pair of shoes, this guy walked into the store and smiled at Maks, who was stick handling the ball. Maks was intent on shooting, and I was intent on scoring a new pair of UGGs. Looking over at the man, I noticed his familiar face was one I had seen several times before. This uncaped crusader had graced the big screen more times than I could count, charming us with his generous smile and sparkling blue eyes.

One flash of that smile told me he was amused.

Minutes later Maks was helping me pick out shoes, telling me which styles and colors he liked best. It was one of those great moments between mother and son that bond you together like caramel and corn. A day I won't soon forget.

With hockey stick in hand, Maks hustled out of the store chirping, "Mom, I need you to be goalie!"

Dropping my bags, I was ready to block.

Just as Maks shot the tennis ball, the familiar man walked out of the store, then stopped and watched us for a moment while a smile spread over his face. Walking toward his car, he passed us, while Maks called out again, asking me to be goalie one last time.

The man stopped to take a phone call while I caught the ball with one hand. "Nice catch!" he said. "I think you're the most adorable mom I have ever seen in my life!" Then he hopped in his Batmobile and drove out of sight.

That's a great compliment, coming from someone I admire so much, especially when being a great mom is at the top of my daily to-do list! It's also a great compliment to see my children warm the hearts of those around them.

They're joyful and happy children, but I know that their good behavior is a result of constant direction and training from both Val and me. We're their primary teachers in life. The words we speak and the actions we take today are shaping their future tomorrow.

It would be so much easier to pretend I don't notice when Natasha gives me a "look" or when Lev complains during chores, but I believe that being a good mom means I'll be wise enough to implement discipline as well as have fun.

In the same way I have come to accept that my body requires the same balance. It's great to have fun and let loose, but it's equally important to be self-disciplined. In Scripture after Scripture the Bible stresses the importance of controlling our bodies, our tongues, and our thoughts. Yet most of us would rather ignore that than put a microscope to the topic and get down to work. Not me—in this chapter I'm pulling out my microscope and getting down to the nitty-gritty business of controlling our actions.

Ask anyone who has reached a high level of weight loss, and they will tell you that it was a direct result of self-discipline. It's never easy in the beginning, but with each hurdle you pass, you get stronger. Self-discipline grants us the ability to seize bad habits and put them away, even those habits we want to hang on to. It gets our feet on the track when we're too tired to run and closes our mouth when we're filling our face.

Consider a race. The preparation involves self-discipline on the runner's part if she hopes to come in first, or in the case of long distance—if she hopes to finish the race at all. Self-discipline is an exercise that reminds our body that the Spirit is the one who's in charge. We as believers follow the Spirit of truth, and we do our best to stick to that truth as we yield to God's plan for our life. The world sees it another way: the body's in charge, and if the heart longs to overindulge in food or narcotics, it does. Yielding to our flesh is the easy way out, but in the end it produces damaging circumstances of various kinds.

Just like any exercise, we are strengthened by the continuing practice of discipline. And when we cease to exercise, we become lethargic.
So why don't we practice self-discipline?
The reason is because we're conditioned to take the easy way out. But when we condition our bodies to difficult tasks, we grow into disciplined human beings.

We taught Natasha to clean her bedroom, starting with small tasks, and increasing responsibility over time. As she grew, those habits became ingrained in her, but they also branched out farther than the walls of her bedroom. She has been able to apply the same self-discipline to practicing tennis, cleaning the dishes, and doing her homework each day. My point being that if we become disciplined with the small things in life, we will grow to discipline ourselves even further.

Ever notice that the first three days of any change program are difficult? The reason is that we are flexing a muscle that's been at rest for too long. The first week at a gym has most women talking about aches and pains from muscles they'd long forgotten they had. But as they begin to move those muscles on a daily basis, they're strengthened to the point where it becomes painless activity and, in some cases, to the point where it's mindless activity. That's also where muscle memory comes in. Our brains get conditioned to memorize motor skills like tying our shoes or braiding our hair. In fact it's rare even to look at the shoes we tie; we just do it because that muscle of our mind has memorized the movement we take.

Through self-discipline we exercise another part of our mind that eventually makes a habit of things we do like choosing healthier food, eating less at each meal, taking the stairs, or waking up early. We take control of our body and train it to yield to the Spirit.

Creating good habits requires three things:

1. Focus

2. Repetition

3. Action

Anytime we can combine those three, we are working toward long-term success.

Webster's Dictionary
describes
discipline
this way: "Training that corrects, molds, or perfects the mental faculties or moral character." The idea here is training. It's important that our bodies are trained by repetition so the muscle of self-discipline is allowed time to grow.

I'm certain that if Maks was uncontrolled in the shoe store, high sticking the shelves, and running amuck while I did my own thing, we both would have drawn a different response from the customers there. But Maks makes me look good because he's good himself.

Excessive weight gain, yielding to addictions, and sloppy habits are often signs that we lead undisciplined lives. Controlled eating, fasting, exercising, addiction control programs, and strong devotional habits are signs that the body is under subjection.

I discipline my body and make it my slave, so that, after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified. (1 Cor. 9:27 NASB)

Practicing self-denial is another way to add strength to self-discipline. Try to incorporate little reminders every once in a while that tell your body it's not in control. If a pool is cold, jump in. If French fries smell delicious, choose salad. And if a must-see TV show is on in five minutes, retreat to a corner with a good book in hand—unless that show is
Make It or Break It
, of course!

In preparation for the task God had for Him, Jesus fasted forty days. Moses and Elijah are also recorded as fasting for forty days in preparation for the work God set before them. Denying a hunger within us increases a hunger for spiritual food. However, it is important that when we fast we aren't doing it for the purpose of losing weight but rather for the purpose of gaining spiritual strength and communion with God. Fasts can be dangerous if they are too long or if your body isn't in good enough shape, so be cautious. It's great to discipline our body but not at the risk of our health.