Resilient (2) (22 page)

“Me too. I always had the feeling you never really got over him. I just hoped I’d help you forget. Or that you’d love me more.” She wanted to ease his pain somehow, but the one thing that would ease his would only prolong hers. So they sat.

“FUCK!” he yelled, throwing the remote against the wall, startling Katrine out of her silence. He rubbed his face a few times, blinking away tears before they could fall. Composing himself,
 
he turned to her. His voice that had just filled the room with anger now came out soft as a whisper, “Katie-m—” He didn’t finish, but there was no need. His eyes said it all…the sadness, the regret, the disappointment. She grabbed his shirt as he pushed off the couch, but then let it slip out of her hand. He was almost to the door when he paused and turned back towards her and chuckled, but it held no amusement. “I guess nice, loyal guys
do
finish last. And rich, cheating assholes get the girl…Maybe I’ll see you around sometime.” And with that, he left. She spent the rest of that day and many days after that, sobbing into her pillow.
 

That was six weeks ago.

Now she found herself in an unfortunate smelling cab with hard, cracked seats. Destination known, but the outcome was anyone’s guess. Katrine hugged herself, willing her heart to keep a steady beat and her stomach to cease its churning. She looked out towards the Atlantic as the vehicle crossed the bridge. The skyscrapers of Manhattan came into view and neither her heart nor her stomach cooperated.

“Miss, traffic is very bad.” The cabbie’s English was accented, but decipherable.
 

“Isn’t it always?” Katrine sniffed, putting her iPod away and smoothing her skirt.

In truth she loved the bustle of this city. The energy she felt walking down the sidewalk with the throngs of fellow pedestrians, the streets choked with taxis and delivery trucks… Exhaust, exotic foods, and rubbish combined in the air— assaulting the senses. The honks, the sirens…the life. She watched from her window and soaked it all in. The size and magnitude of this city never ceased to amaze her. It could be intimidating if you let it. But she always let herself get swept up in the frenetic motion of the streets. It was always good sense to roll with the current instead of fighting it. But when her taxi pulled up to the curb next to her stop, the only current she could think about was the bile rising from her gut.
 

“We’re here, miss.”
 

It was mid-afternoon, yet the foot traffic was heavy on the concrete beside her door. The driver hopped out and grabbed her large bag from the trunk. She thanked him and handed him cash. Now it was time for the obligatory open-mouthed gape. She let her head fall back as she tried to take in the height of the metal behemoth that lay before her. Shaking her head, she pushed her shoulders back and walked through the glass-encased roundabout. The lobby was open and airy. The floors were glossy, black marble. She studied the plaque on the wall. A law firm, Goldstein, Locke, Francini, and Green, took up the first three floors. The fourth, an accounting firm she recognized from the acquisition documents last summer. But the other forty floors were dedicated to AG Industries. This was their corporate headquarters, after all.

What to do when you:
 

 
A. Don’t have an appointment

B. Don’t know if the person you’re here to see is even in the country

C. Are pretty sure that this could be a mistake of biblical proportions. Okay, maybe not biblical, but pretty damn close.

Katrine turned to her right and walked with purpose to the security desk. Her thin heels clicked and the wheels of her suitcase thumped. Her steps were narrow, constricted by the grey pencil skirt that flared at the mid-calf. Her coppery hair was pulled back and the apricot halter she wore accented her tan shoulders and brought out the carmel in her eyes.
 

“May I help you, ma’am?” a very large, imposing gentleman asked.

“Yes. I’m here to see Mr. Alexander Abbot.”

“He’s in Europe at the moment, ma’am.” Katrine swore to herself and she wanted to grab the gun out of this guy’s holster and shoot herself with it. Then a thought came to her.

“Is that Jr. or Sr., because I’m here for Jr.” She rolled her eyes.

Did I really just say that?

The guard, who’s name tag said E. Winston, seemed to be stifling a smile. “You’re in luck, ma’am. That particular Mr. Abbot is in the country, and in fact, he’s in the office today. Do you have an appointment? Because no one goes up without an appointment.”
 

“No sir, but if you call up and speak to Ellenor Fletcher, she’ll vouch for me. We’re old friends and Xander will want to see me if he knows I’m in the lobby.” She had no idea if that was true, especially since their last meeting went so bad. If he told her to get out of his office as payback, she wouldn’t blame him.
 

Second thoughts starting…now.

“I can call up to Mrs. Fletcher’s’ desk, but that’s about all I can do without an appointment, Ms…?”

“Ms. Katrine MacNamara. Thank you, Mr. Winston, that is most kind of you.” She smiled and batted her eyes a little, letting a subtle hint of southern drawl seep into her voice. He smiled and picked up the phone.
 

“Yes, Mrs. Fletcher, this is Winston from the lobby…yes, thank you. The kids are doing just fine.” Katrine smiled, same sweet Ellenor. “Well, ma’am, I have a Katrine MacNamara down here…yes, ma’am, right now. She’s right in front of me. Yes, she is. Okay, ma’am. Yes, ma’am. You have a good day, too.” He hung up the phone and chuckled a little.

“Ms. MacNamara, she said to send you right up. The executive offices are on the top floor.”
 

Beaming, she thanked him, walked over to the reflective silver doors, and pressed the up button.

The elevator was full, but the numbers dwindled as the floor numbers increased. She applied a little more gloss and pulled the front of her shirt down. Her hair was still presentable, hence the genius of wearing it up.
 

Bing!
The doors opened.

Nervous stomach and potential vomiting in 3-2-1….And here goes nothing…well everything, really.

Ellenor was waiting just outside the doors with a warm smile and open arms.

“What a surprise, a very happy surprise, I’m so glad you’re all right, my dear. We were so worried when we heard about your accident. I’ve never seen Xander so out of sorts. Oh, look at you with your suitcase, you poor dear. Follow me, we’ll get you something to drink.” She swiped a card and pulled open a large thick wooden door.
 

Katrine stepped onto a soft Persian rug in jewel tones, covering dark wood. There was a mild floral scent in the air from the huge array of fresh flowers in the center of the room. The executive floor was elegant with heavy, traditional style furniture. The lobby had been stark and modern, so this was like stepping into someone’s home. It was very handsome, but she didn’t feel it reflected Xander’s taste, but then again, did she really know his taste? Maybe not, but this screamed Alexander Abbot, Sr., maybe even his grandfather, Abner.
 

“Xander didn’t tell me you were coming or I would have been better prepared. Sometimes that lad has not a pence worth of sense.” Her British lilt was so cute.

“He doesn’t know I’m here, actually.” Katrine glanced down at her suitcase for a moment and then shrugged. Ellenor nodded knowingly and took her hand. “He’s not back yet, but you can sit over here if you’d like. These chairs are more comfortable than the ones in his office.”

“Do you think he’ll be gone long? I could come back.”

“Most certainly not. He would have my head if he knew you were here and I let you leave. No, no, please sit. I’ll call him and tell him you’re here.”

“Oh no, don’t disturb him. I’ll wait.”

She was ushered into a cozy waiting area outside a large mahogany door, she assumed was his office. Sitting in a lush leather chair by a lamp with soft light, the wheels in her head started to turn.
 

She wished she’d checked into a hotel first so she didn’t have this stupid suitcase. She wished she’d called ahead to make sure he was in the office. She wished there was a portal she could jump through and be anywhere but here, feeling impetuous and self-conscious and just plain uncomfortable.

But it was much too late for those kind of thoughts. She’d come this far and she’d put too much on the line to back out now. She’d left Teddy with her ex under the guise of a business trip, gave Maddie cause to question her sanity, and worst of all, she’d broken Ian’s heart. That was the hardest pill to swallow. But she had to find out if there was anything left, consequences be damned.
 

 
Ellenor seemed to think he would be happy to see her, but she probably didn’t know how things went down at the hospital. The would-be reunion that turned out to be a fifteen minute hi and goodbye… And that was two months ago. He could be seeing someone. She thought if things went well she’d stay at his place, but what, oh lord, what if he was living with someone? Maybe her hospital room f-you was the final push he needed to let her go.
 

What am I saying?
 

If not for my vehicular dodge ball,
 
I would’ve never seen him again.
 

But that showed he still cares about me. It’s not like I’ve been celibate, either.

Katrine had thought of all these things before getting on the plane, even before she booked the flight two days ago when this hair-brained plan hatched. But now, sitting here in his office, all the bravery she’d felt back home seemed to fade away. All that was left was an anxious, light-headed feeling. Funny how time could make you second guess yourself and she’d been sitting there for over an hour. She tried to read, no dice. She called her sister and that had done nothing to calm her frazzled nerves.

“Mads. I’m here and I’m sitting right outside his office,” she said in a hushed voice, covering her mouth with a cupped hand.

“Well? Are you going in or what?”

“He isn’t here right now, so I’m just waiting for him to get back.” It sounded a little pathetic when she said it out loud. And the silence from her sister’s end of the phone only compounded that feeling.

“Mads? You still there?”

“Yeah, I’m here.”

“You think I’m making a huge mistake, don’t you?”

“Trine, that’s not for me to say. And who am I to judge, anyway? Honestly, does it matter if I think it’s a mistake?”

“No, I guess not. I have to do this. Does that make any sense?”

“It does and I get it. I guess I just wish Ian didn’t have to get torched in the mix.”

“Sis, no one wishes that more than me.”

“Call me if you need me. You always have my support whether I agree or not, you know that.”

“Thanks, Maddie. I love you.”

“Love you, sis.”

She hung up the phone and stared at the screen for a moment. Ian flashed in her mind. The look on his face. Her stomach turned. She would regret hurting him for a long time, forever even. David had sat her down and had the same type of conversation when he’d asked her for a divorce. Was she any better than him? Maybe the situation was different, but she felt just as villainous.

What am I doing here?

Katrine stood up and started to gather her things.

“Ellenor, I think I’m going to go. I’ll call when I find out where I’m staying.”
 

“Katrine, please, let me just call him and find out when he’ll return. He should be finished with his meeting by now.”

At that moment she was sure she didn’t want to ambush him at his office. It sounded romantic in theory, but in reality not so much. She’d meet up with him later, after a phone call.
 

Damn it, why didn’t I start with that plan?

“Thank you for the tea, Ellenor and it was so nice to see you again. I’m going to go check into a hotel and call him later. I don’t want to interfere with his day. Plus I’m dying to get out of these clothes.” Really she wanted to escape, but whether it was to a hotel, the airport, or the nearest bar she hadn’t decided.

She was pressing the button to the elevator when Ellenor said, “Are you sure, dear?”

Katrine nodded and hugged Ellenor tightly. She gave a small wave as the doors closed.
 

At that precise time, Xander exited out of the other elevator.

Chapter 22

Katrine was cursing the elevator gods when she stopped at almost every floor on the way down. It was late afternoon on a Friday, so everyone was making their escape along with her. Finally the doors opened to the lobby. She took off towards the exit. Halfway to freedom, she heard a deep voice bellow behind her.

“Ms. MacNamara. Ms. MacNamara, stop please!” It was Winston. She knew she’d done nothing wrong, maybe forgot to check out or something. But when she heard those words, she got flashbacks of toilet papering Karrie Karnes’ house in the sixth grade. Her instincts made her double time it, despite his repeated insistence that she stop. She burst onto the sidewalk, giggling like a loon on crack.
 

For a whole year after the affair she’d acted like an adult. She was in the same city as Xander for two hours and she was already acting like a complete crazy person. She would drink two glasses of wine and call her sister in the morning. That was all the doctoring she needed.
 

Oooh, wine—yes, please!

Katrine wove through the hordes of walkers and stood on the curb. The flow of traffic was sluggish this time of the afternoon. A horn beeped, an expletive yelled. A bicycle messenger zoomed between the vehicles, unaffected by the congestion. She shot her hand in the air to hail a cab. Two slid by without stopping and she cursed under her breath. One pulled up at last and she sighed with relief. As she put her hand on the handle of the door, someone grabbed her arm from behind.

Damn, Winston takes his job seriously.