Resurrected (12 page)

“I want what is in you. I
want your blood in me…” I said, not even recognizing my own voice
as it came out low and menacing. In a blink of an eye, my mouth was
around Lacroix’s throat, my fangs tearing his flesh open. Lacroix
cried out in pain and against the violation of his body. Before I
could get a deep swallow of his blood, Lacroix’s knee connected
hard with my stomach. Doubling over, I backed away from him only to
bang into the door frame. Wrath filled me as the pain swirled about
my gut. Scowling at him, my eyes locked with Lacroix’s. He stood
there, his hand covered in blood as he pressed it against the
wound. Finally able to stand upright, I was quickly overcome by
nausea.

“Oh…” I leaned against the
door frame and took in a breath. I became dizzy and my sight began
to blur. I felt a cold wet hand grab my arm as I lost control of my
limbs. My back sliding down the frame, I was guided to the
floor.

“Deirdra, what in damnation
is going on with you?” The voice was muffled, but I knew it was
Lacroix. Grief, sorrow, and guilt at what I had done suddenly
overwhelmed me. Like seeing clearly for the first time in weeks, I
was appalled at my assault against him and what I had done to the
poor mortal family I brought to my home.

“I’m so sorry, Lacroix!
Please, please forgive me.”

I wept
and wept over what I had done, over the death of the innocent
family–over deaths I had caused in the beginning of my
transformation into a vampire. Their faces haunted me, taunted me
and revealed the demon in me–the monster I truly was and had always
been.
Had I only been fooling myself to
believe that I am not so bad, that I am not that
evil
?

Gradually, a familiar
sensation began to grow with each passing moment. I opened my eyes
to find the sun had risen over the horizon and I was alone. With
the exception of the three corpses that remained strewn about the
dining hall. Their bodies were already in the early stages of
decomposition. The stench of their death quickly became
overwhelming. I rose to my feet, exited the grotesque scene and
made my way to my room. Slamming the door shut, I slowly made my
way to the bed. Falling onto it, the oblivion of sleep was my only
escape from this hell.

A bright white light shone
upon me like a spotlight encircling the chair I sat on. A similar
beam encircled Adam who sat in a chair opposite me. Surrounding us
was a sea of black.

“I will never love you…” I
said plainly and repositioned myself on the overly cushioned
off-white chair. “…you, the one who has only given me great sorrow,
fear and self-loathing. It is so egotistical of you to think that I
could even like you, let alone be able to love you and want you.”
Hearing my own words, even I felt the chill that spilled
forth.

“Well,
you better learn to love me, for those you think are trying to help
you–you
know
who I
speak of specifically–he is only going to grant you death. A life
filled with pain, which will exhaust itself too soon. Heed my
words, he is a trickster. Trust in me, in my power and in my
words!” He paused for a moment. “Just imagine what I have in mind.
Visualize how the world can be ours, be the place we have always
dreamed of. Where we no longer have to lurk in the shadows, where
we can bring in a new millennium together. The year 2000 shall be
the era where vampires will reign. Mortals will love me and cherish
me. I will be the father to all new vampires and judge, jury and
executioner to those who already exist, those who are unwilling to
serve me.”

“But humans need not know
of us. It is cruel for them to have knowledge of our existence.
It’s like telling them, ‘Sorry, you are not worthy of immortality.
You will rot because you’re inadequate. You shall only be our
food’.” I rose to my feet. Tears hot with angst threatened to fall.
My lingering humanity was protesting this fiend before me. But like
being split in two, the demon in me flourished at the idea of
flaunting our preternatural power and knowledge.

“No,” I began, “your
pretentious need for love will be the ruin of us all.” Suddenly the
light grew brighter, until I could no longer bare it. Slamming my
eyes shut, I tried to block out the blinding light. Unexpected, the
sounds of someone whistling a nonsensical tune floated about my
head. With caution I opened my eyes to find myself in a great
library with beautiful stained mahogany shelving and an upper loft
with a staircase railing made from the same wood. The peacefulness
of this place was surreal. The scent of dry dusty heat and old
paper filled my nostrils with each languid breath. As the whistling
turned to a gentle humming, I turned to face who was making the
sound.

“Angel?
What are you doing here? I don’t have time to see anyone right now.
I have to put back all the returned books,” I said. I looked down
and in my hands I held
Beyond the
Threshold of Death
, its cover gilded and
more beautiful than the publisher ever released.

“You’re holding your life
in your hands, Deirdra. There are so many different choices offered
to you each and every night but which one is the right one? This is
the library of your life and your fate is in your hands,” Angel
said, his voice soft and filled with love, so tender.

I pulled my gaze away from
him and turned to face the immense wooden shelves. Finding the
book’s right place within the alphabetical system, I slipped it
snuggly in its spot and turned to face Angel again. However, he no
longer stood where he had and in his place pure white lilies had
sprung.

I took a few cautious steps
towards the flowers. Standing over them, I saw sprawled within the
delicate flowers the body of a dead woman. Her body bloated from
death, skin now darkened from decaying. Atop her head was a tangled
mass of curly blond hair and her cobalt eyes were partially open. I
was looking at myself, at the decaying Deirdra I had always feared.
With quivering lips, the body began to speak to me.

“Our family loves us too
much. Fear their good intentions, for Frankenstein is what they
will become.” As the last word rolled off her tongue and brushed
past her lips, the image of my dead self began to vanish. A sigh of
relief escaped my lips. I turned full circle only to face the
direction I had started and there stood Angel and Adam, their
bodies entwined and connected in a horrific manner. I slammed my
eyes shut. Frightened beyond any means that I ever wanted to admit,
I began to sob.

My body began to feel heavy
and more of this earth; I was waking. With a moan, I rolled over,
laying my wet check against the cool pillow. Gradually I opened my
eyes and relief filled me as I looked around my bedroom. I let the
realization wash over me that what I experienced was just a dream
and forced myself to remember it. Despite the fear I felt, I also
had a feeling that I had to remember something from the dream. It
was telling me something, but none of it made any sense.

Sliding to the edge of the
bed, I sat for a moment. I wiped the tears that lingered on my
cheeks and stood. Passing the large window, I pulled open the rich
deep brown velvet curtains on my way to the bathroom. Pausing for a
moment, I looked out into the night sky. The stars shone for the
first time in what seemed like weeks and the snow sparkled from the
full moon that shone on it. A puff of furnace exhaust cascaded then
dissipated just above my window reminding me of the frigid cold
outside.

Turning the shower on, I
was in somewhat of a daze. I was going through the motions as
though my body were on cruise control. Steam quickly began to float
around me. The gentle smell of the soap seemed to ease my fear and
I felt more awake the longer I stood under the spray of hot water.
Letting the towel slide over my body, drying and caressing
simultaneously, my mind began to wonder where Adam was. I had this
unnatural urge to see him–to be near him.

By the time I finished
dressing, having chosen black leather pants and a charcoal
turtleneck, it was seven-thirty. Mechanically I made my way to the
foyer and slid on my boots and jacket. I needed to get out of
Chantonnay but I had no clue as to where I was heading, having no
agenda in mind.

The car radio blared as I
drove aimlessly. The song’s heavy bass mixed with the singer’s low
and sensual voice emanated through the speakers and I found myself
completely involved with the song. The moodiness of the twentieth
century’s music was something that still held some fascination for
me. I loved the raw emotion that came through.

Coming to
a stop outside a run-down brick house, I turned the radio off and
sat for what seemed like hours. Finally cutting the engine, I
climbed out of the car and made my way up the snow-covered walkway.
Cautiously I walked around to the back of the house. I stopped and
stared at the screen door feeling rather silly.
Why had I come here? I have never even been to this suburb of
Montreal before.
But as though silently
guided, I reached for the doorknob and let myself
in.

The place was an absolute
pigsty. Walking through the kitchen I had to step over dirty
clothes and toys. The counters were strewn with cereal boxes,
dishes were piled by the sink or wherever there was an empty space
to be filled. Suddenly an image of Brenna and Kristine flashed
before my eyes. I saw them feeding on the divorced mother, then her
four children. This is how they acquired this run-down home. I then
caught the scent of death as it wafted through the air ducts. The
bodies had been carelessly buried in the vegetable cellar. I shook
my head, disappointed at Brenna’s manner of handling the situation.
I wondered how she could live with the stench.

I headed
for the hallway and walked down the darkened corridor to where I
knew Adam would be. A soft glow of light seeped from under the door
and the gentle sound of Beethoven’s
Moonlight Sonata
settled itself
around me. The severe change in music styles fought within my head
until the past broke through into the present. Like falling back in
time, I felt myself descend to the mortal girl I was in 1790,
Ireland. The past clouded over the present but I didn’t really
mind. I closed my eyes and let the music relieve my mind and soul
until I felt like I weighed nothing. In a stupor, I stood there
listening, not moving a muscle. Once the music stopped, the silence
jerked me from my pleasant thoughts. I was brought back to the dark
and filthy hall, with the putrescent smell of death that
lingered.

Unexpected, the door swung
open and standing in front of me with a Cheshire grin, was Adam. He
said nothing and grandiosely gestured for me to enter. As he
stepped aside, I felt apprehensive. I had no control over the
situation, yet I still lied to myself in self-preservation.
Stiffening my posture I walked past Adam and into the room. The
scent of sandalwood wafted from the far corner. The breeze from the
furnace danced the thick gray smoke around the room. I much
preferred the incense to the stench of death that permeated these
walls.

I turned on my heels as I
heard the click of the doorknob as Adam closed the door behind
me.

“Welcome,
my dissolute child. You’ll have to pardon the mess. My companions
were not the best at cleaning up after themselves.” He sauntered
over to me, stood behind me and placed a large hand upon my
shoulder. As I started to turn and face him, his grip tightened; a
warning to stay as I am. My heart pounded like a drum in my ears.
All I could think was, ‘
Oh my God! I’m
going to die
.’

“No, no, Deirdra. You would
really have to upset me to make me get rid of you forever. I want
you to join me, to be with me…to be my paramour, my little
destroyer of human kind. You have such strength within you that I
admire and want,” he said. The hand that once rested on my shoulder
now caressed my neck. I could hear his breathing become more
intense with each passing moment.

I took a
step forward, trying to escape his hold on me. But swiftly his
other hand grasped onto me, holding firmly onto my waist and
pulling me back to him. As he leaned in towards me, he nuzzled his
lips against the crook of my neck. I knew my fear turned him on.
Within his grasp, I stood there dumbfounded. I couldn’t believe I
had let myself get into this situation. Suddenly, Adam’s thoughts
entered my mind, “
I am going to have you
then break you and you will be mine for eternity
.”

Gently he pushed the fabric
of the turtleneck down to expose my flesh. His lips and tongue now
grazed my neck. My body quivered at his touch.

“No…” I said
unconvincingly, my voice only a whisper. I closed my eyes and
leaned back against him. Part of me was angry at the delight I felt
with his touch and my other half said, ‘pay no attention…just enjoy
yourself.’

Without warning Adam
slammed his fangs into my neck, the sudden pain awoke me from my
stupor. I cried out and tried to worm my way out of his grasp.
Eventually he released his hold on me. I spun around on my heels
and glared at him. I could feel my precious blood oozing from the
wound he had just created and that familiar sensation encircled the
lesion as my blood tried to repair the damage. But something was
different. Adam’s bite was different and I was afraid I was about
to find out how. With wide eyes I stared at him. I reached up and
covered the wound on my neck. My blood seeped through my fingers
and down my neck, quickly soaking my sweater.