Return to Me (18 page)

Roxy was right, and in less than eight weeks, Wyatt would see Elena in this gown. He would watch her walk toward him down the aisle at church, and she would see the love in his eyes.

She
would
see it, wouldn’t she? His love would be evident to

one and all. Right?

“You didn’t answer my question,”
her own words echoed in her head
. “Do you still love Roxy? It only takes a simple yes or no.”

The memory of his reply offered no comfort.

As if in response to her thoughts, a personalized ring tone announced a call from Wyatt. She moved to the corner of the dressing room and retrieved the mobile phone from her purse. She flipped it open and put it against her ear. “Hi, Wyatt.”

“Hey, where are you? I’ve tried your work and your home and your cell and all I got was voice mail. I even tried your dad’s, but he wasn’t home either.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t hear the phone ring until now. I’m at the bridal shop, trying on wedding gowns.”

She heard him sigh, a sound of relief. “I got worried when I couldn’t reach you anywhere.” He paused a moment before asking, “Did you find a dress you like?”

She lifted her gaze to the mirror. “Yes. I believe I have.” “Well, that’s good.”

“Elena.” Roxy pushed the dressing room curtain aside. “I think one of these veils might work.”

She held up her free hand and pointed at the phone. “Is that Roxy’s voice I heard?”

Her spine stiffened. “Yes, she came with me.”

“That’s great. You can share my news with her. It’s the reason I’ve tried so hard to reach you.”

“What news?”

“I’ve been accepted at New Covenant. You and I will be mov- ing to Oregon in about three months.”

Elena sucked in a breath. Three months? There was so much to be done. The wedding and reception. Packing boxes. Selling a home. Training her replacement at work.

“Did you just gasp? What? Are you surprised they accepted me?”

“No.” She laughed. “I’m not at all surprised. They’re lucky to get you. But somehow it didn’t seem real until now. Wyatt, you’re going to be a pastor.”

Roxy stepped closer. “He got word about the seminary? Did he get in?”

“And you—” Wyatt’s warm voice filled her senses —“are going to be a pastor’s wife.”

Roxy touched Elena’s shoulder. “Did he get in?”

She shrugged off her sister’s hand. This was
her
moment. Hers and Wyatt’s. She didn’t want to share the news with Roxy. No, more than that . . . she was afraid to do so. Sharing any part of Wyatt with Roxy was . . . what? Elena’s fingers tightened on her cell phone. Dangerous, that’s what. As if Elena would lose a part of him, a part of
them
. As if their future was about to fade before her eyes.

“Elena, are you still there?”

“I’m here.” She took a quick breath. “Roxy asked if you’d heard about the seminary.” She nodded at her sister. “He got in.”

Roxy clapped her hands. “That’s wonderful. Tell him how happy I am for him.” Tears sparkled in her eyes. “How happy I am for you both.”

Stomach churning, Elena complied. “She wants you to know she’s happy for you, Wyatt. Happy for us both.”

If only Elena felt happy. If only she felt
something
other than

fear and trepidation.

Twenty

Wyatt stepped up to home plate, the cheers and shouts of his team- mates ringing in his ears. Adrenaline shot through his veins. He would either bring in the winning run or cost his team the game. He was determined to make it the former.

Scuffing at the dirt with his toes, he settled into a batter’s stance, grip tight, arms raised, knees bent, eyes narrowed as he stared at the pitcher.

The first Saturday of the month, May through September, men from Believers Hillside met at this city park to play baseball. To some, it was a good opportunity for fellowship. It was more than that for Wyatt. Baseball brought out his competitive spirit. He loved the game. As a boy, he’d daydreamed of playing in the majors. As an adult, he went to as many Boise Hawks games as he could manage, and he never missed seeing a baseball film when one opened in theaters.

Kent Mitchell, the pitcher, sent the ball hurtling in a blur toward Wyatt. But not quite blurry enough.

Crack!

His bat connected with the small orb. It flew in the opposite direction, over the heads of the pitcher and second baseman. Wyatt took off for first base for all he was worth. He heard whistles and more shouting and hoped that meant Lance Roper was barreling toward home plate.

He saw the first baseman readying to catch a ball.
No way!
He

willed more speed from his legs, and his right foot slammed down hard on the plate. Several strides later, he slowed and turned. His gaze darted toward home in time to see his fellow teammates rush- ing to embrace Lance.

They’d won!

He punched the air with his fist. Man, he loved this game. Wyatt joined in the celebration with his winning team mem-

bers and offered good-natured sympathy to those on the losing side. Then they gathered the equipment, piled into cars, and most of them headed for a nearby pizza parlor for lunch.

As the men sat around several tables, devouring deep dish piz- zas, Wyatt thought how much he would miss this brotherhood after leaving for seminary. He knew God was able to bring him new friendships, but he wondered if any would be equal to what he enjoyed with these men. Seated here were those who had mentored him in the faith, challenged him to draw closer to God, inspired him to dig deeper into the Scriptures, and helped him recognize his call to the ministry.

Did Elena feel the same about leaving her friends?

He’d seen little of his fiancée this past week. If he didn’t know better, he’d swear she avoided him at every turn. It was driving him nuts! Time was they talked about everything. Time was she wanted to be with him as often as possible. What had changed? Why was she distancing herself? Did she really believe he would marry her if he were in love with Roxy? If so, she didn’t think much of his integrity.

“Hey, Baldini, we won the game. Tell your face.” Wyatt looked at Lance, seated next to him.

The teasing expression left his friend’s face. “Need to talk about it?”

He opened his mouth to decline, but out came, “Yeah, I’d like to. Do you have time after we’re through here?”

“Sure.”

Well, he’d done it now. But maybe it was a good thing. Maybe it was time to get his worries out of his heart and head, out into

the open, and see what someone he respected thought about it all. Maybe Lance would have some answers.

Wyatt hoped so. Because when it came to answers, he was flat out.

=

Hosting a bridal shower for Elena was Fortuna’s idea, but Roxy’s name went on the invitations.

“It is not my place to be the hostess,” her dad’s housekeeper insisted, even though Fortuna was much more to the Burke family than an employee. After Grandma Ruth, Fortuna was the closest thing to a mother that Roxy and Elena knew while growing up. “You are her only sister. You must do it.”

How could she tell Fortuna the truth? It wasn’t right to hostess a shower for the bride when she kept struggling with having once loved the groom. Worse, when Elena looked at her, Roxy would swear her sister knew what she dreamed about some nights. There was definite tension whenever they were together, which was often during the workweek since Elena was instructing her in matters related to store operations.

Last night at supper, Roxy’s dad had dropped another bomb- shell into her life. He asked if she wanted to train for Elena’s posi- tion. The question stunned her.

“But, Dad, I couldn’t do that.”

“Honey, there’s no Burke Department Store near the seminary in Oregon. And besides, Elena’s life will be different once she’s married. First Wyatt will be a student, and then, God willing, he’ll pastor a church. Her focus will be elsewhere. Her role will be to serve with him. Of course, you couldn’t step right into her position. You’ll need training and some practical experience. Maybe you’ll

even want to take some college courses. It might be several years before you’re ready, but I know you could do it.”

Elena will hate it if I’m the one who gets her job, no matter how

long it takes.

Roxy rose from the kitchen table where she and Fortuna had sat for the past forty-five minutes, addressing shower invitations. She walked to the refrigerator and took a soda from the can holder.

Maybe I shouldn’t’ve come back to Boise.

She crossed the kitchen to the sliding glass door. It was open, letting in the beautiful spring air through the screen. She leaned her shoulder on the jamb and stared at the valley below. A blanket of green was spread across the City of Trees. Far to the south, the Owyhee Mountains wore a winter cap of snow on their highest peaks, but in the valley, spring was in full view.

If I didn’t come back, I wouldn’t have found my way to You, Lord.

But what do I do with these thoughts about Wyatt, these feelings I’m having? They aren’t right. I want them to go away.

All those years in Nashville, Roxy had given Wyatt Baldini scarcely a thought. Now memories of him haunted her.

A Christian was to take every thought captive in Christ. She read that in one of several devotional books she’d purchased at the bookstore. But how did she do that? How did she stop her thoughts from going where they shouldn’t? How could she stop remember- ing what it used to mean to be Wyatt’s girl?

“What is troubling you,
niña
?”

She didn’t turn toward Fortuna. “Nothing.”

Please, God. Let it be nothing.

=

“I don’t know, Lance. It’s like Elena doesn’t want to be around me or talk to me. She seems mad half the time.” Wyatt raked the fin- gers of one hand through his hair.

“There’s a lot of tension before a wedding. Everybody gets the jitters. And the two of you aren’t just facing a wedding. You’ve got other major changes on the horizon. A move. Returning to school. Jobs. Those are all emotional triggers.”

“No. It’s more than that. She’s . . . I think Elena’s afraid I’m in love with her sister.”

“What?” The youth pastor’s eyes widened. “Why would she think that?”

Wyatt sucked Diet Coke through a straw, delaying his answer. “You know that I lived a wild life before I came to Christ.” He cleared his throat. “Well, Roxy and I were a couple for about nine years, and . . . and it wasn’t a chaste relationship.”

Lance whistled between his teeth.

“I asked Roxy to marry me once, but she turned me down flat. Then she left for Nashville. I was torn up about it a long time. Elena was there to help me through. We were friends before that, but afterward, over time, I came to love her.”

Lance’s eyebrows pulled together. “What about you and Elena?

Have you . . .” He let the question trail into silence.

Wyatt knew what he meant. “No, we haven’t.” He took another few gulps of cola. “There’ve been moments since Roxy’s return that I wish we had. I’m not sure I can explain what I mean by that. I feel like it would make things easier, less confusing.” He shrugged.

“Does that mean you’re having second thoughts about your marriage to Elena?”

Wyatt pondered the question before answering. “No. I love her. We belong together. I believe our marriage is God’s will. I can’t imagine my future without her.” He took a deep breath and let it out. “But I’m not sure Elena feels the same anymore.”

“And Roxy? What does she believe?”

He shrugged. “I hope she believes that we’re friends. As far as I know, we are.” He released a humorless laugh. “What a mess, huh?”

“What a mess,” his friend echoed, not smiling. “It sounds like you and Elena ought to get counseling. As a couple. There are issues here you need to deal with.”

Lance was right. Wyatt knew he was. But they already had so much to do —

“And Wyatt?”

He met his friend’s sober gaze.

“Don’t put it off, man. Deal with it. The sooner the better.”

=

Elena stood at the entrance to her bedroom’s walk-in. The high shelf that wrapped around three sides of the large closet were stacked with see-through plastic boxes, along with two roll-aboard suitcases and some pairs of outdated shoes. From the clothes racks hung suits, dresses, blouses, and slacks. More than any one person needed. How had she accumulated so much in the years she lived in this house?

She and Wyatt hadn’t decided whose home they would share after the wedding — there were advantages and disadvantages to both — but they needed to make up their minds soon. One house must go on the market. Eventually, they might sell the other too. Wyatt thought it unlikely they would return to Boise after his ordi- nation. He wanted to be open to God’s leading and not tied to any one place.

That was easy for him, she thought. He no longer had family living in Boise. It was different for Elena. She had both family and a career she loved.

How was it possible to want something with her whole heart, the way she wanted to be Wyatt’s wife, the way she wanted to min- ister with him, and still feel regret over what must be left behind?
Boxes.
She turned and walked out of the bedroom.
I need boxes.

It was a wonder Wyatt still wanted to marry her, the way she’d acted. She’d been short-tempered with everyone, but especially with him. She needed to curb her irritability. She needed to be kinder, more patient. With Wyatt. With her coworkers. And, yes, even with Roxy.

Elena sighed as she opened the door to the garage.

“I love my sister,” she said softly as she crossed to the opposite wall where cardboard boxes had been broken down and stored flat after she moved into this house. “But Dad spoils her. Wyatt spoils her. Fortuna spoils her.
Everybody
spoils her. I’m trying to bring some balance, some reality, into her life.”

Remember how Roxy looked when she came back to Boise. Wasn’t Nashville enough reality?

Well, yes. It was. But who was to blame for Roxy’s troubles in the first place? People reap what they sow. That’s what she’d told her sister the night before she left for Nashville.