Reunion (13 page)

I took the letter and placed it back into the envelope. I felt like getting from the couch to my bedroom took forever. My dad wrote me a letter the night Sam was to propose. The night I thought Christa was coming out of his room after having sex with him. The night after I got pregnant and didn’t know it. He wanted to marry me. I knew I was too late. I destroyed my chances because I ran. Why didn’t I fight for him. Why didn’t I push that skank aside and barge into Sam’s room and demand an explanation. It was difficult to comprehend the whole thing. My dad spoke to me through this letter. My dad gave us his blessing and I screwed it up. I needed to move on from this. I had to will myself that this was how it was going to be. My actions were the demise of Sam and I. Like Sam said a few days ago at his apartment. He believes in fate and path’s. This was the path I chose whether or not it was the right one I did this but I needed the guilt to go away. I needed the ‘ what if’ to go away. My life was about to change. It was about to get a fresh start. I reached my bedroom. I sat on my bed and turned on my bedside table light. I kissed the envelope and whispered “ thank you daddy” I placed the envelope on my night side table next to the porcelain box that held Baby Charlie’s ashes. I put my ear phones on and turned on my iPod. I smiled. For once the song wasn’t about broken hearts. It was about hope. Tomorrow was a new day and I had hope.

CHAPTER 10

AND A HAPPY FUCKING

NEW YEAR TO YOU TOO...

The next month flew by and I was busy. I rented a UHaul for my furniture and my mom, Georgia and Tyler came up to Boston to help me with the move. Everyone waited for me downstairs by the cars. I took one last look at my apartment, took a deep breath in , smiled and shut the door behind me. The staff at the Chesly School were so good to me. They gave me a going away dinner and everyone who I worked with gave a small speech about me and the work I had performed there. I am going to miss them. Colin, my friend who I sang with at Smitty’s, told me that if he ever booked a gig in Philly he would love for me to come and perform as a guest with him. It had been a while since I had done that and I missed singing. I accepted his offer. The drive to my new loft in Philadelphia was not bad at all. I had waited till after the Thanksgiving holiday to leave Boston. My sister and Tyler actually found me my new place. I was so busy tying up loose ends in Boston I had no time to apartment hunt. I sent them on a few wild goose chases but they found the perfect one for me. It seemed like a great neighborhood from what Tyler and Georgia described. Lots of stores and near the water front. We pulled up to the new building my loft was in and I felt a new sense of direction. I felt strong. My mom, Georgia and Tyler helped me unpack and I as a thank you I bought pizza and beer. The loft I was renting was about 1,000 square feet. I had a large living room and kitchen combined. It was very open. There were 3 large windows in the front. My bedroom was off to the left of the living room and it was huge! Bigger than any of my apartment bedrooms in Boston. There wasn’t a second bedroom but I had purchased a new sleeper sofa in case mom was to visit or any of the girls. My bathroom had a clean, crisp feel to it. All white subway tiles and a black and white checkered floor. The tub was an old fashioned claw footed tub and there was a lot of exposed pipes visible in the ceiling which made for some great character. The whole loft had hardwood floors that extended into my bedroom and there was a closet which housed a double decker washer and dryer. No more laundromat for me. It was an old building but had a buzz in security system which I liked. The walls were freshly painted and the color was a muted gold. The espresso colored hardwood really made the gold tones in the walls stand out. The four of us sat around and we talked about our plans for Christmas and my new job. We ate pizza and drank a few beers.

“Well I’m getting a little tired and I have at least an 45 minute drive home.” My mom yawned and said. I thanked her for helping and she left. I would see her in a few weeks for Christmas. Georgia and Tyler stayed and helped my clean up a bit. Tyler and I were putting dirty glasses away.

“So Ty have you talked to Sam?” He turned to me with a look like I was wondering when you were going to ask me that.

“Yes Sav. He’s good. He has been working a lot. He is up for another promotion. We went out a few weeks ago for some drinks. He looks good. ” I remained quiet for a bit.

“Well I’m glad he’s doing ok. I just thought I would ask. Does he know I’m back? Did he ask…” He interrupted me.

“Yes and No. I told him we were moving you back because he had asked me if I wanted to go out for drinks for this weekend and I told him I was going to Boston to move you back to here. I’m sorry kid the no part is he didn’t ask how you were.” Tyler gave my shoulder a squeeze.

I walked the two love birds out of the building into the cold and thanked them so much for all their help. Georgia turned to me before she left. She grabbed both of my hands .

“Sav,this is just the beginning of the rest of your life. Make the most of it.” When the hell did she become so philosophical. When they left I turned and looked up at the building which was now my new home. The cold December winds blew and I closed my eyes and inhaled the smell of snow beginning to fall.

The next few weeks were busy for me. I did a lot of shopping and preparing for my new position which would be beginning in a few weeks. I went to my mom’s on the 22
^nd
of December just in time for our town’s annual Christmas celebration. It was always around this time and we made it a family tradition, well dad did. All the stores were open in the square and each store set up a table in each with hot chocolate and cookies. Carolers walked around singing Christmas songs and Santa was there in the center of the square.

“Come on Sav lets go see Santa.” Georgia said pulling my arm like she used to when we were little. I felt so silly. I stood in line and Georgia went first. She was as excited as a school girl. I saw Santa say something in her ear. She replied to him and she kissed his cheek and hopped off his lap. She turned around to me and I asked if he was a good Santa. “Oh you will see.”

I went up and sat on Santa’s lap. I mumbled under my breath. “ This is so embarrassing.”

“Ho,Ho, Ho little girl and what would you like Santa to get you for Christmas this year?” My cheeks felt hot and flushed and I put my head in my hands and shook my head back and forth. My mom, Tyler, and Georgia were staring at me and chuckling as my face went even more blush. “Ugh I have no idea. I feel so silly. ” I paused. “ I guess just to be happy and healthy.” I buried my face in my hands again and I felt Santa put his finger up to my chin so that I was looking into his eyes. I knew those eyes. Deep like a sunset. Warm and rich with hues of brown, green, and gold. He spoke to me softly.

“What’s wrong little girl? Aren’t you happy?” It was Sam as Santa. I was stunned. I stammered for words.

“Oh um I need to go.” I jumped off his lap and he yelled to me in a deep voice.

“Well little girl I hope that all your Christmas wishes and dreams come true. Ho Ho Ho.” I hurried down the center square and passed Tyler, Georgia, and mom.

“Thanks for the warning Georgia. I’m going home.” I heard her call out my name but I never turned around.

The holidays came and went. We had a wonderful dinner at mom’s house and Tyler’s parents came for dessert which I still thought was weird but Tyler and Georgia were serious and she was no longer “ cruising for dicks” as Georgia like to put it. She was in love. And he was equally with her. My best friend and my sister. After years of hooking up I guess Tyler tamed the beast that was Georgia. They really were adorable. He gave her the most beautiful white gold butterfly charm necklace. It was tiny and dainty like Georgia. When she opened the box and looked up at Tyler you would of thought he gave her a damn diamond but the spoiled little materialistic sister I once knew didn’t care how big it was or if was a shiny diamond. She didn’t even care if it wound up being a piece of shit from a bubblegum machine. It came from Tyler with love and that’s all that mattered. I met up with the girls for drinks for New Years. Maddy’s husband Kyle and Lil’s fiancé were there along with Trish, Ella and of course Georgia and Tyler. Trish and Ella didn’t bring dates so I was relieved not to be a third wheel. We had a great time at dinner and the restaurant supplied us with noisemakers and party hats. We talked about everyone’s Christmas’s and Maddy told us about how Joey was opening his presents that morning and thanking Santa for each and every one of them. It sounded adorable.

“Speaking of Santa” Tyler said through gritted teeth and motioned for me to look over to the bar area of the restaurant. Sitting there biting on a cocktail straw and laughing at something or someone was Sam. Of course my heart stopped. Why wouldn’t it. I still had a heart. That man was going to ask me to marry him and I would of if it wasn’t for my insatiable jealousy and my need to always run. I didn’t want to look at him but I did and I felt that familiar ache from within. I wished I didn’t feel it but I did. He looked exquisite. He had on a pair of black dress pants, white starched dress shirt and a thin black tie and black fitted jacket. I’m pretty sure he had been there for awhile because the top button on his collar was unbuttoned and the black tie was loosened. He looked somewhat casual but distinguished all at the same time. His waves were a little messy and I bet he smelled…. Ugh Savannah stop it. My internal monologue butted in. He wasn’t mine. I fucked up. He always chewed on straws. Throughout high school I would see him with a straw in his mouth after lunch almost daily. He would glide over to my locker with it hanging out of his mouth and always a greeting of “ Hey my Savy .” And he would raise his eye brows in an up and down motion. It made him look mischievous is a hot sort of way. He did it to me the first time he asked me out. There goes the day dreams again.

~

I remember we were all going to the football game that night. The school’s choir and myself were going to sing before the game that night. The weather was like Indian summer. They were calling for a Nor’easter that day so everyone was on edge as to if the game was going to be played. When I got to school that day I remember the morning announcements coming on and everyone was sitting there with bated breath waiting to see if the big game against our rivals the Lansville Lions. When the student weather girl came on to say today’s forecast was going to be 74 degrees and sunny, you could hear the whole school roar in cheers. The game was going to go on. The sun was brilliant and the air was a bit humid. You could see the anticipation of tonight’s game across the student bodies faces. It was a really important game. It could get us into the championships. I hung at my locker during 3
^rd
period with Maddy and Lilian. We were discussing what we were doing after the game when from behind I heard a voice say,

“Well hello there Miss Sassy.” I shut my eyes real tight for a moment and when I opened them I saw the jaws of Maddy and Lil practically hitting the floor. Maddy mouthed silently “ Sam Reynolds”.

Oh shit why was he here at my locker? I had seen him around in the halls but I hadn’t run into him since the 2 weeks prior to him actually running into me and knocking me down. “ So rumor has it your singing at the game tonight.” I turned around to see him chewing on a straw from the cafeteria and pushing his eye brows up and down. “How the hell do you know that information?” I snapped.

“Whoa sassy don’t get all offensive now. It was just a question.” And he took a step back. “ Actually it was a statement not a question .” I replied and muttered under my breath as I shook my head, “ Dumb Jock.” He chuckled a bit and he nodded to Maddy and Lil. “ Ladies.” The two of them were frozen like in a catatonic state. I smacked Maddy on the arm. “ I’m sorry but I seemed to have forgotten your name.” I asked in my most sarcastic tone.

“Oh come now Sassy of course you know my name. You call it out while your dreaming of me every night. Don’t you?” I felt Maddy grab my shoulder and almost go down to her knees. I rolled my eyes at him.

“Oh yes now I remember. Girls this is a dumb jock who will say anything to get the panties to drop.“ “Savannah!” Lil pinched my arm. He raised those damn eyebrows to them and winked.

“Alright jock what do you want? You’re not making small talk for nothing are you? You need to be tutored in English or something cause if so it’s going to cost ya.” I replied back. “ Plus I’m not sure my tutoring would help a poor Neanderthal like yourself.” He started to pound on his chest a little with both fists.

“Me straight A student. Me want scholarship to LaSalle. Me not need you tutoring dumb jock like me.” He stopped talking like an idiot. “ I do not need your expert English skills Savannah. I do just fine on my own.” He gave me a sexy grin.

“Then what in the hell do you want!”

“I want to know if your going to Tyler Jensen’s party after the game tonight that’s all?” He took a small step away from the locker. Maddy and Lil looked at each other then back to me. I continued to place my other books back into my locker.

“I suppose I am. He has been my best friend since 7
^th
grade. I pick out his clothes for him when he has parties..” Roars of unnecessary laughter rang out of Sam’s mouth.” Excuse me what’s so funny. We go the mall, he asks my opinion and I give it to him.”

“I don’t mean to laugh but most of the time he looks like he stepped out of something from the early 90’s.” He continued to chuckle. “ Whatever jock. Why do you want to know if I’m going there tonight?”

“I just wanted to talk and get to know you better.” And he flashed two of the most gorgeous puppy dog eyes I’ve ever seen. This was ridiculous and I wasn’t falling for it even though my legs felt like freaking Jello. What the hell! Snap out of it Savannah. This guy is a total jerkoff.