Reunion (14 page)

“Well I’m not that interesting jock so there’s really no reason to get to know me better. I’ll be at the party tonight with my girlfriends and if I happen to grab the attention of a NICE, polite guy who isn’t so full of himself, I may let him to get to know me better. Other than that I wish you luck in tonight’s game. If you will excuse us we are going to be late for 4
^th
period.” I shut my locker and turned towards Maddy and Lil and motioned my head to them to start walking. I left a speechless Sam Reynolds there with his jaw dropped against the locker next to mine. “ Savannah Garrett what the hell was that?’ asked Lil. “Not interested Lil.” I replied. Maddy turned around slightly to see Sam still at my locker with the biggest grin on his face. I bet it was a sexy grin.

“Well if you’re not interested , Maddy added, He sure is.”

“Is he watching me Mads?” I asked.

“Uh yea. Big time.” He saw Maddy turn and he waved to her and smiled. Holy shit!

“Sam Reynolds Sav. Sam Reynolds and he wants to get to know you better and you said you are not that interesting to get to know. Do you have a fever?” She placed her hand onto my fore head. I smiled as I looked down at the floor and glided down the hall. “ Let ‘em look.”

I woke up from my daydream to Sam glancing my way still chewing on that straw. He did that when he was nervous. He picked up his drink, and tossed the amber colored contents back into his throat. Without looking my way. He sat the empty glass on the bar and got off the stool he was occupying. He sauntered over in my direction looking nothing less than freaking gorgeous. What was I nuts not to try to fight for this beautiful creature. I mean at one time he even asked for my father’s blessing to marry me. I stood up to greet him and I saw him wave. Friends of his were at the door motioning him to come along. I thought it was meant for me but when he passed me with not so much as a very cold “Savannah” Then he was out the door. I felt sick. I really felt sick. I had to steady myself against a chair and Tyler shot up from the table. “ Sav. I’m so sorry. Do you want to sit?” I managed to stammer out a I’m fine and I sat down. Maddy quietly said to her husband Kyle “ Tequila. Stat.” I looked over to Georgia who was silent and then to Tyler. “ Ty when you made these reservations did you know he was going to be here?

“Sav I would never do that to you. He called and asked what I was doing for New Year’s and I told him we were all coming here to eat. I extended the invite but when he heard who was…” Tyler paused and I finished his sentence. “ Coming? Meaning me right?” He didn’t say a word. The countdown to midnight began. As the patrons of the restaurant counted down all I could think about was the fact that Sam hated me.

THREE, TWO, ONE! HAPPY NEW YEAR! Everyone cheered, hugged and kissed. Tyler and Georgia both grabbed me together even before their New Years kiss and huddled with me. Tyler smiled down at me and I gave him one right back. Still. Sam was gone. Fuck New Year’s.

I would be starting my new job in a few days and I was so excited for this new beginning.

Mr. Lawson greeted me on my first day and showed me to my office. It was nice and cozy. Not huge but it had a mahogany desk and two wing back chairs. The opposite wall had a matching book case and a file cabinet to the right of that. There was enough room for a small round table with two chairs and the window near the table overlooked the snow covered courtyard of the school.

“Make yourself at home Savannah. This is your space now. I have some files for you to look over and I want you to meet some of the classes. Also there is going to be a staff meet and greet in the teachers lounge in a half hour.”

“That sounds great. I just want to unpack some of my things and I’ll meet you there.” I unpacked some of my song books and filed my sheet music and put in and out bins together for the teacher’s lesson plans that I was to approve. I displayed some pictures of my friends and family on one of the shelves on the book case. I headed to the teacher’s lounge. Everyone greeted me and shook my hands. I met the two music teachers and the band leader. Kelsey and Toni were the choir teachers and Paul was the band leader. They were all about my age.

“So Savannah we usually go to teachers happy hour on Friday’s right from here. You up for things like that?” Kelsey smiled and asked. She was a cute girl with pixie short black hair and dark brown eyes. She had a bright and friendly smile.

“Of course. Just say the time and the place and I’ll be there.”

Toni smiled at me. “ I think we are all going to get along just fine.”

After the breakfast I headed to the choir room for a brief orientation with the 8
^th
grade students. They would mostly be mine when it came time for the Spring Showcase. I told them who I was and explained what my job would be. They were so sweet and all gave me Welcome cards. I felt overwhelmed in a good way. I sat down at the piano and asked them if we could all sing a song together. The students yelled out requests to me and we sang a few and laughed. It was such a great first day.

Before I knew it , it was spring. I had been at my job for almost 5 months. I looked forward to going to work every day and the kids made it all the more rewarding. We were getting ready for our spring concert so I was busy organizing it. I really got close to Kelsey, Toni, and Paul. We worked so closely together in school and almost every Friday we would hit a place called McKay’s near South Street for Happy Hour. I had my girls come a few times and they got along great with Kelsey, Toni, and Paul. Ella and Paul had hooked up and he took her out on a date. It didn’t pan out but that was Ella.

May came without warning. Everyone had Spring fever. We decided to head out one Friday night to McKay’s to blow off some steam. Getting prepared for the Spring Showcase was tiring and somewhat stressful. We got a booth and began the ritual of ordering drinks and appetizers . We talked and laughed and I felt good. I was getting on with my life. Kelsey came back from the bathroom and had a blank stare on her face. She sat down and leaned in to say something to me. “ Sav I know I have only seen a few pictures of him but I’m pretty sure Sam is here.?” I just stared at her. She was the only one who knew about Sam. I told her everything. Even about the baby. Her and her boyfriend of 5 years broke up last year and she was heartbroken. We had something in common. I still kept a picture of Sam and I in my wallet tucked away under a credit card.

“I have to go Kelsey. I can’t see him.” I got up from the booth, said goodnight to everyone and made my way out the door. I tried to be as inconspicuous as possible. As I made my way through the crowd I felt someone grab my elbow. I turned around to see Sam standing there looking down at me.

“Leaving without saying goodbye Savannah?” He asked.

“Hi Sam. Sorry I didn’t see you. I was just on my way home.” I had a hard time looking directly at him. If I stared into those eyes I knew I would be a puddle on the floor.

“Do you live around here?” He asked I shifted my weight so that he could remove his hand from my elbow.

“Um actually I live not too far but the school I teach at is right around the corner.”

“Oh. I’m assuming you are here for teacher happy hour. A friend of mine is a teacher and he comes here a lot. He told me he has seen you here a few times.” I looked at him confused.

“How does he know who I am?”

“Pictures Savannah. You’re a beautiful girl. A guy sees a picture of a pretty girl, he asks who it is, he remembers the face. It makes sense.”

“Oh ok. Yes. Just blowing off some steam. I’ve been putting in a lot of extra time.” I still wasn’t looking at him directly. The bar was crowded so we were in close to one another and it was loud so it seemed like we were yelling to hear each other. I smelled Abercrombie and beer on him. Holy hell why did he have to smell so good? I wanted to lick the stubble on his 5 o’clock shadow and bask in his scent. 12 years gone by and I still felt those feelings. I needed to go. He bowed his head with his hands holding onto his beer bottle for dear life.

“I have to run, I mean go.” He turned and walked away. I stood there motionless. Damn it! He was so disgusted with me that he couldn’t even say goodbye. He was broken and I knew I needed to try and fix him but would he just reject me? I was afraid of the consequences but I knew I couldn’t give up. You don’t give up on the ones you love. Instead of running out the door I had to turn around and find him. Tell him how I love him and how he was and always would be my world. I know what I did was unforgivable but I was desperate. I know I wasn’t worthy but I was getting on with my life and I realized that this life had to include Sam. How could I go on without him? I was at his mercy. I yearned for his forgiveness.

I made my way through the crowd trying to find where Sam was. My friends saw me and Kelsey spotted me. “Savannah I thought you left?”

“I did. I mean I was then Sam saw me. I need to find him.”

“Go for it girl.” She smiled and winked at me. I continued walking and as the crowd parted I saw him. In a corner booth sitting with a girl and a few other friends I didn’t know. I was assuming from work or the neighborhood he lived in. His arm was draped on the back of the booth and his was smiling at the girl sitting next to him. I couldn’t be afraid. I couldn’t be jealous. I couldn’t run. I didn’t know the facts. I didn’t know who the girl was all I knew was I needed to tell him I loved him and to please forgive me. He turned his head towards me when I approached. He looked at me puzzled.

“Sam I need to speak with you.”

“What is it Savannah? I’m in the middle of something.” I closed my eyes for a second and took a deep breath in.

“I need to speak with you in private. “ He looked around and I guess my presence took the attention of the girl sitting next to him as well as the other 3 guys and another girl in the booth with them.

“What ever it is you need to say Savannah you can just say it. I’m not moving. Feel free to speak your mind. I’m all ears.” His cocky dumb jock act was old. Really old but fine. Whatever.

“Fine. I’m not running. I’m done running. I’m not afraid anymore. I need you to know I’m sorry. I know you won’t forgive me but I need to tell you how I feel. All I want is your forgiveness. If you give it to me that’s fine. If you aren’t ready then I’ll wait for it. I’ll wait forever. I did what I did for our own good. For not just me but for you. I should of stayed that night 5 years ago. I shouldn’t have ran or take someone else’s word for it. I should of come to you first before running. I should of trusted your love for me but I didn’t and I’m sorry. This isn’t easy for me but I need you to believe me when I say I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’m not asking for another chance because I know it’s not going to happen. I just needed you to know that I was sorry.” I put my hands up surrendering and just shook my head. His stare bore through me. It seemed to go on forever.

Why wasn’t he speaking. He shifted his body slightly in the booth. “ If that’s all you have to say to me then i’ll be getting back to my conversation now. Take care Savannah.”

When people explain what a broken heart feels like I don’t really think they ever truly can explain it. I have felt what it feels like when Maddy was diagnosed with cancer, when my father died and when I lost my baby. Our baby. So much pain and ache that it was all so unbearable. I couldn’t take it. I was defeated. I felt the sting and then the crushing in my chest. I didn’t cry. I wasn’t trembling. I was well broken hearted. I was 28. I experienced death and suffering of others and this was a different broken heart.

“Thanks for listening.” I said turning around and began to walk away. I thought of something and just turned my head slightly and said towards his direction. I spoke loudly over the crowd.

“My father wrote me a letter before he died about the day you came to see him before I left you. I know what you wanted Sam and I would of said yes.” I walked away and out of Sam Reynolds life forever.

CHAPTER 11

LYRICS

When I got home from the bar I washed my face, put on a fresh pair of pajama’s and grabbed the damn iPod. I crawled in my bed and felt the spring breeze flow through my room from the big windows in my loft. The air felt familiar. It was warm and inviting. I put in my ear buds and shut the light off. I stared at the ceiling.

My memory went back to that October night 12 years ago. I was nervous. Singing in public wasn’t something I did every day. I was still apprehensive about the whole thing. At least it was with three other people. Except I had a solo part in it. Ugh! I needed to get this done and over with.

“Sav you are going to kick ass!” Georgia exclaimed. “Georgia Claire!” My mother yelled to her. “ Watch your mouth young lady.” Daddy just laughed. He knew Georgia wasn’t the southern belle mom wanted her to be.

“Savannah just do the best you can. That’s all anyone can ask for. I’m proud of you for organizing this.” Mom gave me a big hug. Dad grabbed me in a bear hug and whispered in my ear.

“Kick ass squirt.” Maddy, Lilian, Trish, and Ella were all standing by the gate entrance to the football field. The announcer began to introduce the players from our team. The cheers were deafening. When it came time for the Quarterback to be announced the crowd went wild! Over the PA system you heard “ and now ladies and gentleman the youngest quarterback in Brooklawn High’s history give it up for Sam Reynolds.” Everyone went nuts and then I saw the most gorgeous sight I thought I had ever seen in my 17 years of life. This tall, semi thin, wavy haired God jogged onto the field and gave the crowd a wave. Oh lord he was so full of himself. He didn’t lack confidence that was for sure. After the crowd died down I heard the announcer say “ And now ladies and gentleman please rise and join me for the singing of our National Anthem. I didn’t hear the crowd cheer because my heart was beating so fast and hard in my ears. We walked onto the field and faced the flag. I took a deep breath in and we gave it our all. My solo didn’t go half bad either. When it was done the cheers from the crowd made me smile and I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was one of the water boys from the sidelines.