Rhapsody (The Bellator Saga Book 5) (17 page)

“I love you, Caroline,” he said. “So very much.”

She let out a soft cry and threw her arms around his neck. Jack pulled back.

“No tears,” he said. “It’s okay.”

She was doing her best, but it was hard. Caroline gave Jack a faint smile.

“Tell me what you want,” he said. “Keep those eyes shut.”

She did as she was told. Maybe she’d get an extra reward for immediate obedience. “I want you.”

“We’re going to go slow. I mean that.” He hesitated. “I know there are things you aren’t ready for me to see. Things I shouldn’t do.”

Her eyes flew open. “I can’t-”

“You don’t have to explain yourself, sweetheart. I won’t touch you where it makes you uncomfortable. I want to make you feel good.” He brought one hand down to her waistband. “Is this okay?”

Caroline refrained from telling him that she’d be willing to do almost anything if he’d start touching her, but he might actually take her up on it. And she wasn’t quite ready for that. She bucked up against him and let out a harsh breath.

“I won’t do this if it isn’t okay. Eyes shut,” he said.

She put her hand over his and squeezed. “It’s fine. More than fine. Why can’t I look at you?”

“I want you to focus on my voice, on my touch. I don’t want you distracted by anything.”

“I can’t-”

“You can. It’s just the two of us now. Let me do this for you.” He trailed kisses down her throat, leaving one hand on her jeans, the other wrapped possessively around the back of her neck.

She pressed his fingers into the heavy material. “Keep going.”

He unbuttoned her fly and slid the zipper down as she tried not to tremble. “Still safe?”

Caroline nodded, and before she knew it her pants were on the floor. She laughed softly. “You haven’t changed much.”

Jack chuckled. “I’m very efficient if the situation warrants it.” His voice changed as he started tracing a path down her legs. “You’re so brave,” he said, kissing the small scar on her thigh.

She resisted another urge to laugh. “That’s just a scratch.”

“No, it’s not. I remember what happened that night. You amaze me.”

Caroline smiled and leaned back on the couch. He kissed the scar again, using both hands to caress the inside of her thighs.

“Tell me what you want me to do,” he whispered.

“Touch me,” she breathed.

Jack tugged at the waistband of her panties. “Tell me about my hands.”

The pads of his fingers grazed against her skin and she moaned. “They feel rough.”

“Too rough?”

She arched her back. “No, just right.”

He steadied her and slid her underwear down her thighs. “What else?”

When was he going to shut up and start touching her? “They’re rough but smooth and strong and-”

“Is this okay?” Jack whispered, teasing her clit.

“Please don’t stop,” Caroline said, resisting a renewed urge to start begging. “That feels so good.”

“I won’t. What do you want me to do?”

She wanted him inside her. Every part of him inside her. She didn’t care if it was physically possible or not. “I don’t-”

“Come here,” he said, pulling her onto his lap and spreading her legs so she was straddling him. “Is this better?”

Caroline burrowed into his neck. She didn’t want to think. She wanted to feel. “Yes.”

“Let me touch you,” he said softly, pressing a finger inside her. 

She gripped the back of his shirt. “Please keep going.”

He stroked her, occasionally bringing one finger up to tease her clit. “Do you like that?”

Was that a rhetorical question? Caroline whimpered against his neck and clawed at him some more.

“You’re so wet, sweetheart. Do you like what I’m doing?”

She gripped his hair and pulled herself closer to him. More. She needed more. So much more. And he was the only one who could fill that need.

“I love you,” he murmured, kissing her deeply. “I’m never letting you go again.”

Caroline ran her fingers through his hair. “Please don’t stop what you’re doing, Jack. Keep talking.”

“I won’t. I want to make you come.”

There was no going back. No need to be shy or demure or uncertain. She moved herself up and down on his fingers as he brought her closer.

“I missed you,” Jack whispered. “I want more than this. I want to be inside you. Do you want that?”

More than anything in the world.

She arched herself toward his hand. He stroked her faster, rubbing his thumb against her clit, kissing her neck.

“You need this,” he said. “You want this. And you fucking deserve this, baby.”

Her legs started to tremble and Jack quickened his pace, wrapping his free arm around her waist as she thrust against his hand, screaming out in pleasure, scratching at his back. He continued to whisper into her ear as she moaned against his neck, begging him not to stop.

His fingers slipped across her clit again. “That’s my girl. Let it go.”

She felt the warmth flow throughout her body and did exactly what he said. She moaned as that familiar weakness arrived, gripping his neck for support. She thought back to all the times they’d been together, every time Jack touched her, brought her to her knees, made her do things she never thought possible, loved her. Finally she stilled and laid limply against his shoulder.

Jack kissed the top of her head. “I love the way you sigh and whimper when you come.”

Caroline blushed. She’d almost passed out from a single orgasm. Clearly she’d gone too long without one. “You’re a dirty boy,” she said, panting through each word, trying to get herself back under control.

“I could have been so much dirtier. But that’s good for now.” He ran his fingers up and down her back. “You’re so fucking beautiful.”

“I am?”

“Yes,” he murmured. “Beautiful and sexy and serene. And totally mine.”

“Yours,” she whispered, wrapping her arms around him. “Completely yours.” She smiled when he buried his nose in her hair. “Are you okay?”

“Savoring the moment.”

She squeezed him harder, still coming down. “I love you.”

He pulled his head up. “What was that?”

Caroline smiled at him. “I love you, Jack.”

He kissed her forehead. “I know. But I might need you to verbalize it more frequently for a while. And it’s a lot nicer when you say it when you’re awake.”

“I’m still talking in my sleep?”

Jack kissed her again. “It’s cute. It lets me know what you’re really thinking. But if I had known that a massive orgasm would trigger your emotions so effectively, we could have cleared up this mess months ago.”

She laughed again, sobering when she saw the streaks on his neck. “Oh, no. I scratched you.”

He rubbed the red marks she’d left behind. “Ask me if I care.” He cradled her face in his hands and brushed his lips across hers. “Do you feel better now?”

Caroline swallowed back the swell of emotion in her throat. As long as she knew she had him, she was fine. She nodded, leaning on his shoulder again. “Thank you, Jack.”

“Anytime, my love. That’s all for tonight.” He tried not to grin. “Seems like you felt
something
when I was touching you.”

She wondered if she’d shattered his eardrums with her cries. “Did that help your ego?”

“I love getting you off.”

“It was fun,” she admitted.

“More fun than talking?”

Caroline giggled and laid her head on his shoulder again. “Definitely.”

“Is this part of the reason I’m such a hard act to follow?”

Maybe he’d kiss her until she fell asleep. Tonight. Tomorrow. Every night. “Damn right,” she said. “That was awesome.”

He chuckled. “After a year and a half, I’d hope so.”

“It was more than that.”

“I know.” Jack wrapped his arms around her and stood up. “You flatter me so. But now it’s time to get you to bed.”

Caroline lifted her head up. She could feel his erection against her thigh. “What about you?”

“I’m fine. I want to wait until you’re ready. You’re not ready yet.”

He wanted her to tell him what happened at The Fed. And she would. But not tonight. “I didn’t earn all that jewelry without reciprocating,” she said.

“I’m fine, sweetheart. Really.” He
scooped her up in his arms and headed down the hallway to the bedroom.

“Jack,” she chided. “You don't have to carry me to bed.”

“Are you kidding? Now that you’ve given me the opportunity, I’m going to woo the hell out of you.”

“That doesn’t mean I forgot how to walk.”

“Your legs are shaky,” he said. “Plus it's more romantic this way.”

“Yeah, until you accidentally knock my head against the doorjamb or something.”

Jack nimbly swept her through the doorway. “O ye of little faith.”

“Stay with me tonight,” Caroline whispered. “All night.”

“Of course,” he said. “Do you want your panties back?”

She grinned. Had he stuffed them in his pocket when she hadn’t been looking? “If that’s the only way to make you control yourself.”

He deposited her on the mattress. “I’ll be fine. But you’ll give me plenty to dream about.”

“You don’t need to dream,” she said. “Take off your pants.”

“Caroline-”

“Come on, Jack. Fair is fair.” She smiled, eyeing the telltale bulge that had yet to disappear. “Let me do this for you, too.”

“You little minx.” He stripped off his pants, leaving him only in a t-shirt and boxers.

She stared. She didn’t care if it was rude. “Boxers off too,” she whispered.

“You want the shirt to stay on?”

“We may as well match,” she said.

Caroline opened the drawer in the nightstand. Just as she expected, there was a bottle of baby oil inside. “Nice.”

Jack slid off his underwear and crawled onto the bed beside her. “I’m a good Boy Scout. Always prepared.”

“I was hoping for a bottle of lotion,” she said. “Then I could have moisturized too.”

“Do you want to know the real reason I kept that picture of us on the nightstand?” he asked.

“You terrible man.” She bit her lip as she looked down at him.

“You don’t have to do this,” he said.

Did he think she was nervous? Anything but. Caroline kissed him lightly, squeezing a small amount of the oil into her hands. “I absolutely need to do this. Relax.”

Jack closed his eyes as she began to touch him. She kissed him again.

“Do you like that?” she whispered.

He groaned, the kind of guttural male noise she’d missed hearing. “Yes.”

“Tell me what you want.”

“Fuck. Keep touching me.”

Caroline tousled his hair and trailed kisses along his jawline as one hand drifted up and down his chest under his shirt. “I might have lied to you, Jack. When I said I missed your hands the most.”

“I suspected as much.” He growled as she moved down to his cock. “Caroline, if you keep doing that I won’t last very long.”

She had a nice firm grip. The kind he liked. He could verbalize those empty threats but he never really wanted her to be gentle. “That’s okay,” she said. “We can worry about your staying power later.”

Jack brought a hand to her cheek. “I love you.”

She bit her lip again. “Imagine you’re inside me, right now.”

He clutched at the sheets. “Jesus, baby. Tell me something dirty. Something fucking filthy.”

“Imagine you’re inside me and we’re fucking against the wall, and you’re squeezing my ass so tightly that I’ll have your palm prints on me for a week.”

Her words were enough to push him over the edge, and he came in her hand with a loud groan, pulling her toward him for a deep kiss as she continued to stroke him until he was finished.

Caroline trailed her hand up his chest. “Was that okay?”

“Fuck yes,” Jack said. “Much better than doing it myself.”

“You weren’t even trying to last.”

“Not after you made that remark about your sweet little ass, no.”

She laughed. “Has it been a while?”

“Long enough.”

She wiped her hand on his shirt, laughing at the expression on his face. “You got me all messy. And we probably wrecked our clothes.”

“I think you might have behaved in a less than ladylike fashion just now.”

She laughed again. “Never forget, I am an uncouth woman.”

He laughed along with her, pulling her on top of him. “I like where this night has gone.”

Caroline kissed him before laying her head on his chest. “Me too.”

When the radio woke Jack up the next morning Caroline was facing him, fast asleep and clenching the front of his shirt. Aside from that, she looked completely at peace. He brushed her hair out of her eyes and smiled at her. “Good morning, my sweet Caroline.”

She yawned, letting go of his shirt. “Hi.”

He rolled over and turned off the alarm. “Did you think I was going to run away in the middle of the night?”

When he rolled back to face her she blushed, just a little. “No.”

He pulled her in for a quick, hard hug. “I’m not going anywhere. Best get that through your thick head already.”

“I know.”

The hug turned into a cuddle when she decided not to let go. He took no issue with that. “Last night was good, huh?”

“Yeah,” she mumbled against his neck.

“Are you going to be practically monosyllabic all day?”

That drew a laugh. “I’m tired.”

No kidding. The few nights she’d spent by his side weren’t enough to make up for years of sleep deprivation. “An hour or two every night doesn’t cut it, does it?” he asked. “And you’ve got a lot of catching up to do.”

“Yeah.”

“We’ll take more naps. How does that sound?”

“Sleeping naps or Jack naps?”

She’d always hassle him for attempting to get her to fool around when she was genuinely trying to get some rest. In all honesty, he hoped for a few of both. “I promise not to ogle you in your sleep unless you request it.”

“Good.”

He reluctantly pulled away from her. That alarm had been set for a reason. “I have to go soon. I’d much rather spend the day with you but-”

“I understand.”

She sounded a little resentful. He couldn’t blame her. He’d promised to dedicate all his time to her and had occasionally taken steps to escape the apartment as of late. But he was damn well going to make up for it. “We’re having a briefing on those classified records,” he said. “The ones we want to release. I think you should be there, if you’re up for it.”

That seemed to wake her up a little. “Does that include the internal files on people held at The Fed? The ones our operative funneled to us?”

A topic like that would spur her toward a more extensive conversation. And she knew more than she’d been told. Lesson learned, he shouldn’t have left his briefing memos on the kitchen table. “Yes. Maybe it’s time for you to see them.” He paused. If she was going to the meeting, she may as well know what was on the agenda. “We need to let the public know what really happened in connection with Hendricks’ assassination. You almost died to protect that secret.”

“How’s our spy doing? In the hospital, I mean.”

“Still looking at months of recovery.” Jack sat up. “To be honest, I haven’t kept up with him. I delegated that responsibility to Flaherty so I could focus on you.”

Caroline smiled. “I guess that’s okay.”

He kissed her lightly. “I thought you’d say that. We’ll have plenty of time to meet with him once he’s in better physical shape. Although I hope you’ll prioritize me until that day comes.”

She pulled him into a long embrace, punctuating it with a kiss of her own. He could get used to that. “I’d like to go to the briefing,” she said. “How much time do I have before it starts?”

“About thirty minutes. I need to be there early.”

Caroline shook her head at him. “Men,” she said.

He laughed. “You look fine.”

“I need to freshen up. You can probably get ready in like five minutes.”

He pretended to check the clock again. “It only takes about four to put on my cologne, so probably.”

“Should I wear my uniform?” she asked.

Jack grinned. “Only if you wear that cute little beret.”

“It’s not required while inside a building.”

“Might be a requirement if you sit next to me. Wear your dress uniform.”

“Is it a special occasion?”

“All my advisors wear them.”

“Jack-”

He could be sneaky. He leaned in for another kiss. “You don’t get to start an argument until at least 7:45. Commander’s orders.”

“It’s 7:30. I can wait.”

He kissed her again. “I can find ways to distract you.”

Caroline sighed and pushed away from him. “Do I get to sit next to you,
sir
?”

She was being cute. He could be charming in return. “If you promise to be nice to me.”

“I’ll be nice if you observe proper protocol. No special treatment.”

“No hand holding?”

She shook her head. “No.”

“No terms of endearment?”

“No sock puppets either.”

“Silly woman.” Jack tweaked her nose. “Okay, Major Gerard. Dress uniform. Including beret. You’ve got ten minutes.”

*              *              *              *              *

Caroline and Jack arrived five minutes before the meeting started. She recognized Flaherty, Ballard, Schroeder, and one or two of Jack’s other main advisors. She ran her fingers across the stubby ponytail she’d managed to throw together. It made her roots, which she hadn’t touched up lately, less obvious. Maybe the dress uniform made up for it. She crumpled her beret in her fist. This had been a bad idea.

Schroeder was placing huge stacks of paper on the table. “Good morning, sir,” he said, not looking up.

Jack patted him on the shoulder. “Major Gerard will be sitting next to me at the meeting, Captain.”

Schroeder popped his head up. “Sir?”

“You heard me.”

He glanced over at Caroline. “How are you feeling, ma’am?”

Huh. Was he warming up or merely being polite? “Very well,” she said. “Thank you for asking.”

“Caroline enjoys using proper grammar whenever possible,” Jack said.

Trust him to point that out. She resisted the urge to kick him. “Jerk,” she whispered.

“What?” he asked. “Captain Schroeder does crossword puzzles when he’s bored. He’s a nerd too.”

She took the agenda Schroeder offered her. “Does he always give you a hard time?” she asked him.

“Yes, ma’am.”

He definitely wasn’t sold on her yet. Not with that aloofness in his voice. “Well, I happen to
like
crossword puzzles. And they aren’t nerdy.” She wagged her finger at Jack. “Very smart people do them.”

He put his arm around her. “Says you.”

That was enough flirtation for now. Caroline smoothed out her jacket. “Can you just tell me what I’m supposed to do at this thing?”

“You’re supposed to help me make Schroeder uncomfortable,” he whispered.

“Seriously,” she said.

Jack pointed at the head of the table. “Well, I sit here, you see.”

“I figured.”

“And you sit next to me.”

Nope, not yet. “How about I sit near you, on the side, and we don’t pretend that I’m even capable of being an advisor yet?”

“You sit near me, on the side, and I announce to the rest of my advisors that you’re one of them now.”

Caroline sighed. “You aren’t going to make this easy, are you?”

He smiled. “Not when I know you’re going to let me push it.” He leaned in closer. “I’m going to push it as far as I can for as long as I can.”

That was a pretty clear metaphor. She laughed when he swooped into his chair. “You love being in charge.”

“It does agree with me, yes.”

“Egomaniac.”

“You never complained when I was governor.”

“You never let me.”

“I told you that you had to be nice if you wanted to sit next to me,” Jack said.

Caroline took the seat to his left. “I am being nice. And honest.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to sit at the head of the table? I can scoot over.”

A generous offer, but a bit much. She shifted into the comfortable leather chair. “This is fine.”

Jack leaned forward. “I’m glad you’re here,” he whispered.

It would take quite a while for her smile to fade. “I know.”

*              *              *              *              *

A couple of advisors shuffled into the meeting late. Caroline wondered if he’d yell at them afterward. Jack made a brief announcement about why she was there, but didn’t say much beyond that. None of the men looked terribly surprised to see her, anyway.

She’d have to give her husband another lecture about promoting women to higher ranking positions, once they’d been getting along for more than a few hours at a time. Caroline had no issue with being surrounded by men; in many ways, it was much easier than dealing with members of her own gender. But she yearned to see more diversity in leadership. His occasional promotions had been a lovely gesture but maybe she had the right to demand a bit more.

Jack was the only one on the base who held the unofficial rank of general, although everyone referred to him as the commander. Everyone else in the room was a major, save for Schroeder. Not a single lieutenant colonel or colonel in the movement, and there appeared to be an unspoken divide between the authority held by Jack and the authority held by others. 

A loose hierarchy remained. Caroline was curious whether his advisors would treat him differently when lesser ranking soldiers weren’t around, but they observed certain formalities, like only addressing Jack by his title. She was going to have to remember that as the meeting wore on. The longer the duration, the more likely she was to slip up and refer to him by his first name. She wanted everyone in the room to know she was a soldier like the rest, and that included treating him with the respect his position demanded. She’d tried to do the same thing when he was governor with moderate success.

And Jesus Christ, if she thought the briefing before her mission was boring, this was even worse. His advisors hemmed and hawed and failed to get to the heart of the matter, content to discuss trivial issues instead of focusing on the records themselves. Caroline waited for Jack to take control, to rein them in, but they continued to argue petty points and ignore the bigger picture. It was enough to drive her nuts, but she had the least social capital in the room despite her status as a fellow major and the commander’s wife.

A lackluster presentation. Bullet points. Talking points. PowerPoints. By the end of the first hour Caroline wanted to gouge out her eyes with the nearest pen. And oh fuck, these guys looked like they were wrapping up. Nothing had been decided. Had the meeting been a planning session or an excuse for them to compare shoddy opinions? Caroline knew she had to speak up whether or not Jack wanted her to. To be fair, he hadn’t told her specifically to keep her mouth shut. But he hadn’t encouraged her to talk, either.

“Major Ballard,” she said. “You’ve spent plenty of time talking about logistics and timing, but we’ve seen none of the records in question.”

“Major Gerard,” Jack cut in. “You’ve already seen the most critical documents we have. You helped obtain them.”

Okay, so she wasn’t expected to speak up. But hell if she was going to sit on her hands. Most of Jack’s advisors had a basic military background but they seemed completely disconnected from the task at hand. And Caroline couldn’t believe she’d had to waste her time at this bullshit meeting only to have her husband change his mind. “I believe I have a right to see the prisoner records, Commander.”

“The database is somewhat compromised. The files are only searchable by name
and
number,” Ballard said.

Was that why they hadn’t scrolled through? Seemed like a pretty stupid reason to avoid taking a look at such vital information. Unless they’d hesitated because one of the former prisoners was in the room. “That’s a serious flaw in the system,” Caroline said. “The code monkeys couldn’t come up with anything better?”

“It is what it is,” Ballard responded.

“Fine, then. I can give you numbers.”

Ballard looked at Jack hesitantly.

“Listen to the major,” Jack said.

“Number 1298,” Caroline said. “Robert Allen.”

It took a minute and he didn’t look too happy about it, but Ballard brought the record up on the screen. There wasn’t much there. Some random numbers, likely administrative coding. Date of reception along with date of termination. What an unsettling way to categorize it. And an intake photo. She hadn’t remembered taking one but maybe not every prisoner received the same treatment. Caroline scanned the words.

Prisoner 1298: Robert Allen. Associate of wanted rebel leaders Caroline Gerard McIntyre and Jack McIntyre. Speaker of the United States House of Representatives. Republican representing the Eighth District of Illinois. Offered immunity in exchange for a high ranking position in the federal government but refused. Arrested at his home in Winnetka, Illinois along with his wife (executed on arrival) on January 2. Adult children granted asylum in Scotland. Subjected to enhanced interrogation as to the whereabouts of wanted rebel leaders but refused to provide information. Executed on February 20.