Rhythm of Us: Book 2 Of The Fated Hearts Series (10 page)

“You could’ve warned me that hurricane Ellie was on her way,” I said to Xavier as soon as he answered. I was calling from the backseat of a cab as I headed to the airport for an unexpected trip to Tampa.

“Shit! How bad was it? She laid into me for a solid hour last night about my activities with you and then again first thing this morning. I thought I had calmed her down before she left, but I guess not. I’m sorry, Ben.” I heard the apology in his voice and I didn’t want him to stress over it. I meant to tease, but it appeared I had the opposite effect.

“I didn’t call you for an apology.” I aimed for a comforting, but wasn’t sure I hit my mark.

“Then why did you call?” Xavier went from concerned to confused pretty quickly, which was only fair, because he had the same ever-changing effect on my moods. I tried not to let the fact that he didn’t want to talk to me bother me. I had to believe that the crazy pull I felt toward him had to mean something beyond just a physical or chemical reaction.

“I got
his
name out of Ellie.” There was no attempt to keep the smugness out of my tone.

“How did you manage that?”

I liked the awe I heard in his voice, but it made it hard for me to focus on our conversation. “It took a lot of back and forth with her, but I eventually wore her down. My brother, Bevan, is a private investigator and I asked him to look into this guy. I figured you and I can check this guy out when I get back from Tampa.”

“You’re leaving?”

Did I detect disappointment in his voice? Dare I hope?
“It wasn’t a planned trip for me,” I explained. “I’m filling in for an ad exec who came down with a virus. I should be back tomorrow night and I’m confident that Bevan will have the information we need. Are you interested?”

“Like a stakeout?” I definitely heard humor in Xavier’s voice. “Could be interesting, but you’re going to need to drive, because Mistress doesn’t blend in.”

My overactive imagination kicked in and I envisioned Xavier and myself sitting in the front seat of my car, but we were doing some serious making out and heavy petting instead of looking out the windshield for the jerk who got Ellie pregnant. I could hear the sounds of him breathing heavily in my ear as I nibbled his neck, it was so real I could almost feel his breath on my skin.

“Hey, buddy, we’re here,” the cabby said loudly, pulling me out of my fantasy - just when it started to get good.

“Sorry,” I said sheepishly to the driver, as I swiped my card to pay for my fare. I grabbed my garment and carryon bags and slid out of the cab. “I’ll drive.” I turned my attention back to Xavier as I entered the airport. “We can grab dinner first,” I offered.

“It won’t be a date, Ben.”

Slow and Steady. Be what he needs and nothing more.
“Of course not,” I agreed. “I
was
listening when you talked to me last night. No dinner. We’ll check this douche out for Ellie’s sake and for no other reason.”

“Okay,” he said hesitantly after a short pause. “Are you planning on confronting him or just find out more about him?”

“I hadn’t planned to confront him,” I said honestly. “Ellie said she wants nothing to do with him and that is good enough for me. I just need to see what kind of guy he is with my own eyes.”

“Call me when you’re ready to set something up.”

“I will. Take care, Xavier.” I was reluctant to say goodbye.

“Thanks, Ben. I hope you have a safe trip.”

We said our goodbyes after that, but his soft voice and image still lingered in my mind. There was a part of me that demanded I forget about this thing with Xavier and walk away before one of us got hurt. I suspected that I’d be the one to get hurt and that was something I wanted to avoid at all costs. I led a very happy and emotionally tangled-free life. As much as that all made sense, I didn’t want to listen, because it felt like something bigger than Xavier and I was at play here.

All I knew was that I suddenly wanted more than a tangled-free life. I blamed it on spending time with Gray and Chase, who were totally devoted to one another. They opened my eyes and taught me that not all relationships were toxic cesspools of lost souls. I wanted to get messy and experience the gamut of emotions that a healthy relationship could bring, but was Xavier the right fit for me? There was only way to know for sure, but I warned myself to proceed with caution. I whistled as I boarded the southbound plane with an extra bounce in my step. I, Bennett Matthew St. Claire, decided to live outside the box and embrace the mess.

I WAS STILL
smiling when I slid my phone in my front jeans pocket. I checked my watch and noted that Gram would be arriving any minute, as she was hardly ever late or even on time. Gram was one of those people who thought being on time was arriving fifteen minutes early. She set a great example for us on so many levels, which was the main reason I had invited her to breakfast at my favorite childhood haunt. I needed to be a man, look her in the eyes, and apologize for letting her down.

I sat back in the diner booth and put off those thoughts until she arrived. Instead, I thought about how I didn’t have a nightmare the night before. In fact, I woke up in the middle of the night with an echo of a new melody in my head. It was only a few notes that penetrated my sleep, but it was a step in the right direction. I wasn’t sure what caused the melodies to return, because nothing had changed since they left me. Well, Ben’s amazing blow job happened, but that was an unlikely connection. I suspected that stress was behind my inability to create music, so perhaps just being back with my friends and family was enough for me to relax and let the creative juices flow.

“Sorry I’m late,” Gram said in a rushed voice as she approached the booth. I looked at my watch and she arrived only twelve minutes early instead of the usual fifteen. “That Lennie is a hard man to walk away from in the morning.” Gram shot a wink at me and I tried not to outwardly cringe. I could have lived the rest of my life without knowing that Gram and Lennie got their love jones on before she came to have breakfast with me.

“Thanks for meeting me for breakfast, Gram.”

“Xavier, you sound so damn serious this morning and I’ve not had enough coffee for that yet.” She held up her hand and a waitress magically appeared. “I’ll have coffee and my grandson sounds like he needs prune juice already at twenty-six years old.”

“I’ll just have coffee,” I told the young waitress. I couldn’t keep the grin off my face as she walked away to get our coffee. “You’re something else, Gram.”

She reached across the table and grasped both of my hands. “There’s that beautiful smile I’ve been missing. I expect to see it more often, do you hear me?”

“Yes, Gram.”

“Good.” She looked around the diner for several minutes before turning her focus back on me. “Damn, this place hasn’t changed a bit in twenty years. It’s probably been just as long since it was last cleaned.”

“I heard that Agnes,” came a booming, masculine voice from the kitchen. “You better watch it.”

“Or what? You’ll stop using your
special sauce
in the pancake batter? What kind of grown ass man names his diner Spanky’s?” Gram fired back at him.

Moments later a grizzled looking man came out of the back and approached our table carrying a tray with two cups and a carafe of coffee. He would have looked scary if not for the crooked grin splitting the lower half of his face. Gram stood up to greet him and he pulled her into a bear hug after he set the tray on our table.

“It’s so good to see you, you old broad. How the hell are you doing?”

“I’m doing great, Reggie. I’m still writing my books and living at the old folk’s home Chase and Xavier dumped me in.”

Reggie looked at me and then back and Gram. “Kids these days.” Reggie shook his head in exaggerated disappointment.

Gram lived in a posh retirement community by her own choice. Although, she liked to joke that Chase and I tricked her into the car by telling her we were going for an ice cream cone and then dropped her off at the curb of the old folk’s home instead and sped off. There was a reason why Gram was a successful writer; there was no end to her active imagination.

“It’s good to see you home, Xavier.” Reggie patted me on the back hard enough to dislocate something. It felt really good to be home, which is what I replied. “Do you both want your usual orders?” Gram and I said that we did so he returned to the kitchen to begin preparing our food.

“I’m happy to have breakfast with you anytime, Xavier, but I sense you have something that you want to get off your mind. All joking aside, I’m all ears for you my darling boy.”

I took a calming breath before I began. “Gram, I’m sorry that I’ve let you down.” I could tell she was going to interrupt and argue with me, but I really needed to say what was on my mind without interruption. I held up my hand to ward her off and continued. “You put all of that time, money, and energy into my musical education and I wasted your gift.” I saw fire light up her pale blue eyes and I knew I was quickly running out of time. “I had an amazing opportunity because of you and I carelessly tossed it aside to join a rock band. I’m not sure I can even call it that since we didn’t perform a single original song that any of us wrote.”

“Xavier.” Her voice held a hint of admonishment.

“Please let me finish, Gram. These things have been on my mind for quite some time now and I need to say them to you.”

“Okay, honey.” Gram’s compassionate gaze locked on me as reached across the table and squeezed my hand. “You talk and I’ll listen.” She gave me a slight nod to encourage me to continue.

“I’m sorry that I didn’t follow through with Julliard, Gram, because I might not have screwed up so badly if I had. I did things this past year that I’m not proud of and,” I had to pause to swallow around a lump in my throat, “I hate the person I let myself become. I’m working really hard to get back to me, but it’s going to take some time. My first step is apologizing to the people I’ve hurt and disappointed. I owe you everything, Gram, including my life. I’m so sorry that I’ve let you down.” I sat back and took a sip of my coffee when I was finished. The hot coffee warmed the chill that had seeped into my bones at the thought of disappointing Gram. I stared at my coffee cup, afraid of what I might see when I looked into her eyes.

“Xavier, may I speak now?” I slowly raised my head, looked her in the eyes, and nodded. “I do not want to hear such stupid talk come out of your mouth ever again. You do not owe me anything, do you hear me?” She didn’t pause for me to answer, just marched on full steam ahead. “You were not some charity case I took in off the street. You were a boy who desperately needed unconditional love and a safe place to live. I have admired you since you were five years old, Xavier.”

“Me?”

“Yes, you. You were strong enough to be yourself when the people you loved and trusted tried to beat it out of you. It took a lot of courage for you to ask for that princess party, Xavier. You were a warrior then and you’re a warrior now. I knew it then and I know it now, so does everyone else. I can’t wait for the day when
you
finally realize that. You’ll sort through whatever you’re going through and come out on the other side stronger than ever, baby doll.”

“Thanks, Gram.”

“Still not finished,” she sing-songed. “I encouraged you to forge your own path and march to your own beat from day one, didn’t I?” I nodded my agreement. “Why then would you expect me to be upset when you chose your own path, one that was different than what
your teachers
chose for you, not
I
?”

“You paid so much money to send me to that private school and I didn’t use any of the skills they taught me while I was in the band.”

“Xavier,” Gram’s voice was full of exasperation when she lightly smacked the table in front of her. “I’ve seen your performances and you most certainly did use the knowledge you received from attending Saint Cecelia’s. I saw you play the guitar and piano beautifully, not to mention your amazing stage presence. Honey, I was just as proud of your rock performances as I would have been of any orchestra symphony performances. To be perfectly honest, I would have much rather watched your band over an orchestra.”