Ricochet (71 page)

I'll put you in bondage first, and I'll take my time

getting you there. If you freak out, then I'll take a

few minutes to calm you down."

"Do you think you can make it good?" Matt

asked anxiously. "Only, it sounds scary and

painful."

"It'll hurt, yes, but I'll get you into the kind of

headspace where you can enjoy it, so it'll

definitely be good. No, not just good - it'll be

great. Trust me." He continued caressing his sub's

nipples and was gratified when Matt melted

against him.

Rick was already dreaming up scenarios to

make the fantasy work for them both. He felt as if

he was coming into his confidence as a dom,

learning how to handle his skittish, control freak

sub, and creating little fantasies that turned them

both on. Matt was never a passive partner, either -

he always took whatever Rick threw at him and

ran with it.

"Aw - if they're this sensitive now, imagine

how they'll be when they're pierced?" Rick purred

in Matt's ear. "I won't be able to keep my hands off

them then - and you'll get even more pleasure from

having them played with too. Piercing will make

them extra-sensitive!"

Matt moaned softly as Rick squeezed a little

harder, and Rick laughed. He released Matt's

nipples, pulled his sub's tee shirt down, and

pressed a brief kiss to his mouth. Then he strode

towards the stairs, intending to take a hot shower

to wash off all the sweat from his run.

"Hey - what about that box?" Matt asked,

glancing at it. "Shouldn't you open it?"

Rick turned. "Why me? It might be for you?"

"Nah - your fans are more insane than mine."

"You think it's from a fan?" Rick picked up

the box and sat down on the sofa with it, examining

it closely. "Maybe it's a bomb. Or, you know, shit

or something." He grimaced.

Matt rolled his eyes. "Don't be an idiot. You

found it - you should open it. Look - there's a key

taped to the bottom."

Matt sat down beside him, and Rick tore off

the tape, put the key in the lock, turned it… and

opened the box.

Matt peered over Rick's shoulder curiously

and saw a pile of envelopes inside the box. Rick

picked up the first one, which had his name written

on it.

"Okay, so it is from one of my fans," he said

jokingly, sliding his finger through it. "Probably

the usual fan mail! I have no idea how they -" A

photograph fell out onto his lap, and he picked it

up… and froze.

A woman smiled up at them from a faded

yellow Polaroid. She had long, blonde hair,

friendly green eyes, and she was holding a child in

her arms. The little boy was gazing happily at the

ice-cream clamped between his podgy hands.

"Who is it?" Matt asked, looking over his

shoulder at the photo.

"It's my mom," Rick said, in a stunned voice.

"With me, when I was a kid." He studied the

Polaroid intently. "I never had any photos of her,

and I wanted one so much. I wanted to remember

how she looked but the memory of her face just

slipped away." He glanced at Matt. "Where the

hell did this box come from?"

"I don't know. Didn't you say you found it on

the porch? What else is in the envelope?"

Rick's hands were shaking as he pulled out a

letter and began to read.

My darling Ricky,

I'm writing this letter for your father to give to

you when you're old enough to understand. I

hope he's explained everything to you, but I

wanted to tell you myself.

A few months ago, I was diagnosed with a brain

tumor. I've tried my best to fight it - just getting

up to look after you each day has given me so

much strength - but I'm afraid my best hasn't

been good enough; I'm so sorry about that,

Ricky.

I've kept you for as long as I can, but my illness

is making it impossible for me to take care of you

safely, and I don't want you remembering me as a

frail invalid - I'd prefer you to remember me as I

am in this photo with you.

Rick looked at the photograph again. "She

was ill? That's why she left me with my father?" he

said hoarsely. "All these years I thought the worst

of her for leaving me there, but she was ill?"

Matt put a hand on his knee. "Do you want to

be alone?"

"No. Hell no, Matty; I need you to be here

with me while I read this."

He put his arm around Matt, and they

continued to read together.

I've agonized about this for weeks, and I've

decided to take you to your dad. It's taken me a

little while to track him down, and he doesn't

even know you exist, but I'm going to take you to

him tomorrow, and I pray that he'll do the right

thing by you.

I hope it's the right choice. My folks died in a car

accident a few years ago, and I don't have any

other family or any friends who can take you in. I

honestly don't know what else to do. I looked at

adoption, but with the progression of my illness

there's so little time, and he's your dad. Your own

flesh and blood. That has to count for something,

doesn't it?

You're sleeping as I write this, and you're so

small and young. It breaks my heart to know I

won't be here to love and protect you as you

grow up.

I hope that you'll be a good boy for your dad, and

that you'll always be good and kind to everyone

you meet.

I pray that one day you'll find someone who'll

love you as much as I do. Most of all, I wish you

happiness, every day of your life.

All my love,

Mom.

Rick finished reading the letter and stared at

it for a long time. "He never told me. She was

dying, and my father never damn well told me."

"Maybe he was trying to protect you? It's a

hard thing to tell a little kid."

"No - he was just being a shit, same as

always." Rick gazed at the photo again. "We used

to play this game where I'd run away from her, and

she had to catch me. When she did, she'd scoop me

up and swing me around, and I'd laugh my head

off." Rick gave a little smile that quickly faded.

"Only this one time, she didn't. She got out of

breath, and she sat down, and I called her a

lazybones. We never played it again, and not long

after that she took me to my dad."

"You were an active little kid. She must have

been worried that with her illness she couldn't

look after you properly or keep you safe."

"If only she'd known how little my father

would care about either of those things," Rick said

bitterly. "We never had much, me and mom, but I

never doubted that she loved me. That's why it

never made sense to me that she left me with him. I

could never figure that out as a kid, growing up. I

used to think about it all the time, and I never

understood how she could have loved me and yet

left me with that bastard. All these years it's eaten

away at me, and I never knew."

Matt traced little circles on his dom's hand

with his fingers. "What was she like?"

Rick thought about it for a moment. "I knew

her for such a short time that it's hard to say, but I

think she was shy, quiet little person. She must

have been an easy mark - just the way my dad

liked them. She says here that her folks died in a

car accident - I wonder if that's how he found her?

He used to read the obituaries and hang out at

funerals to 'offer comfort' to the bereaved." Rick

gave a bitter little bark of a laugh. "I bet he found

her that way and glommed onto her, stayed until the

money she'd inherited from her folks ran out, and

then did his usual moonlight flit. He must have

received the shock of his life when she tracked him

down a few years later with me in tow. I bet kids

never factored into his life plans."

Matt squeezed his hand. "Your poor mom. It's

so sad… and the fact she didn't have any family or

friends…"

"I don't remember anyone ever coming to

visit, or anyone else at all in our lives really. It

was just her and me. I was very young, so I might

be misremembering, but I have a sense that she

was crippled by her shyness and found it hard to

talk to people." Rick frowned. "When my dad

swept into her life she must have thought he was so

wonderful that she didn't see his dark side until it

was too late."

"What else is in the box?" Matt asked,

peering into it.

Rick searched through it. "Lots of envelopes

with numbers on them. The first one has a '6' on it."

He opened it and pulled out a birthday card with 6

Today! written on it in bright green letters.

Dear Ricky,

You're six today! It's hard to believe my little boy

is growing up so fast. I hope you're being good

for your dad and that he's bought you something

nice for your birthday.

All my love,

Mom.

"She wrote me a card for every birthday,"

Rick said, sorting through the envelopes, "Right up

until I was eighteen - and my dad never gave me

any of them."

"Maybe he didn't know how to tell a six year

old that his mom was dead?" Matt suggested. "At

least you know what happened to her now. She

didn't abandon you, Rick; she must have loved you

so much."

"Yes." Rick looked at the photograph again,

as if he couldn't bear to take his eyes off it. "It must

have killed her to leave me with my dad. She knew

what a shit dad he'd be, but what else could she

do?"

Matt watched him silently sorting through the

rest of the box, slowly putting the missing pieces

of his life together. Each card had an age-

appropriate message from his mom - she'd clearly

loved him very much and put a lot of thought into

them.

The final one had '18' written on the

envelope, and the card had a picture of a boat

sailing on the ocean.

My dear Ricky,

You're all grown up now. I'm sure you're perfect

- you always were, even as a tiny baby. I hope

you know how proud of you I am!

By now, I'm sure you've figured out if you're a

dom or a sub. If you're a dom, please be kind,

loving and respectful of the sub you collar. If

you're a sub, please be exactly the same to the

dom who collars you! I think that's the key to it

all really, not that I'm any expert.

I know you will be a good man because you're

such a sweet, loving child. I wish I could be there

to see you today, as you come of age, but I'm

there with you in spirit, as I have been every day

since I left.

No more cards now, but remember I'm always

beside you as you sail out into the world.

All my love,

Mom.

"I spent my 18th birthday being transferred

from juvie to jail," Rick said bitterly. "I sure as

hell hope she wasn't there with me to see that."

"She loved you, no matter what," Matt told

him. "You can tell from these cards. She adored

you, Rick."

Rick shook his head. "She says she's proud of

me, but she wouldn't be if she knew how I turned

out. She'd be ashamed of me."

"She'd have forgiven you. She'd have

understood why you became that way."

"No. You saw what she wrote there about

being kind, loving and protective. I wasn't any of

those things to Sally."

"That was a long time ago. You have a

second chance now - with me." Matt put his hands

on either side of Rick's face, forcing Rick to look

at him. "You had a shitty start in life, but you

pulled yourself together, turned your life around,

and became such a good person. You always