Riding and Regrets (5 page)

“You work at the Mossy Glenn?” Gertie asked, then went on before he could answer. “Not that I care, except you seem a little nervous, and I don’t want you thinkin’ anyone here has anything against you or the others who work there.” Noel recognised the glint in her eye a second before she said, “Why, Noel is gay as can be, and if you can’t tell, he’s like a son to me, so don’t be worrying about the gay thing if that’s a concern for you.”

Not only was Jody nervous, fidgeting with his fingers against each other, but the man was bright red—embarrassed or ashamed, Noel didn’t know. There was a difference between the two. Noel hoped that Jody wasn’t ashamed of being a gay man.

“Thank you, ma’am,” Jody said quietly. “I, uh. It’s just that straight people don’t have to say that kind of thing, so, you know, I don’t like having to, either.”

Noel doubted it was that easy, that clear-cut, but Gertie didn’t press and there was no reason for him to.

“I just wanted you to understand I don’t tolerate bigots,” Gertie explained. “Now tell me, do you have custody of this little girl of yours?”

“Yes, ma’am, I sure do,” Jody answered. He stood up and took a business card out of his wallet, then handed the card to Gertie. “That there’s my lawyer. You can call him if you need to, or I can bring a copy of the records he’s filing. Prissy’s momma passed away and I’m listed as her daddy. No one else wanted her, so my sister brought her to me.”

Noel felt a jarring stab of anger on Prissy’s behalf. He had to bite his tongue to keep from speaking out.

Gertie didn’t bother. “You don’t say that kind of thing around her, do you? Because that baby don’t deserve to be unwanted. You do want her, don’t you? You’re not just taking her to keep from looking bad?”

“Looking bad to who?” Jody retorted bitterly. “Ain’t no one gonna care on my side of the family. To them, me and any offspring are plumb evil. I got friends who’re helping me, or else I don’t know what I’d do. I’m doing the best I can damn well do. I…” Jody lowered his head and rubbed at his eyes. Noel ached for the man, for the amount of pain he’d heard in Jody’s voice.

“I’m sorry. I had to ask. Prissy’s health and safety will always come first here,” Gertie said. “And I’m sorry your family is the way they are. That happens to too many people when they come out. It’s—”

“They don’t know, and they wouldn’t care,” Jody cut in. “I’m dead to them, and that’s fine. It’s what it is.” Jody’s nose was red and so were his eyes, but he hadn’t cried. He sat up a little taller and tipped his hat back a smidge. “This is about Prissy, not me. She’s my daughter, and just because I never thought I’d have a kid doesn’t mean I don’t want her. I don’t know what to do for her, but I’ll learn. She won’t ever doubt that she has a family at the Mossy Glenn, and she’ll know every one of them there loves her.”

Gertie smiled gently at him. “There, that’s a daddy for you. You’ll do just fine, Jody. Now, let’s talk about hours and fees. Noel, you listen up because you’ll be handling this sort of thing very soon. Pull up a seat.”

Noel had nowhere to pull up the extra seat except beside Jody, and he was okay with that. Jody didn’t look him in the eye again while Gertie went over everything. Noel got that. Jody had almost broken down in front of them, had shared more than he’d wanted to. Jody had to deal with Gertie, but Noel wasn’t the person who ran the daycare or who had the say over whether or not Prissy got taken in. Noel was just a watcher, and Jody might even resent him for having heard those things about Jody’s family, not to mention seeing him almost lose it.

Yet when the business was done and Prissy’s schedule set up, Jody gave him a shy smile and looked him in the eyes for just a second. It wasn’t much, but it was something, and it made Noel’s entire day. The rush of excitement that went through him reminded him of the way he felt at the beginning of every new relationship.

Which told him he was already in serious trouble.

Chapter Four

“Here, I got it.” Frankie took the brush from Jody and Prissy quit fussing while Frankie did her hair.

“Why don’t you like it when I fix your hair, Prissy?” Jody asked her. Navigating the parenting thing was difficult. Jody had to constantly remind himself not to get his feelings hurt. Prissy was just a baby girl and she wasn’t mean. She was scared and adjusting, just like he was.

“Hurts when you do it,” Prissy said, turning those blue eyes his way. “You pull.”

“Gotta do it like this.” Frankie took a chunk of hair into one hand and held it close to the roots. “You hold it here kinda tight, then brush out the rest real gentle-like, and there’s less tugging on the hair.”

“I tried that. I’ll keep trying ‘til I get it right.” Jody was going to learn to be the best parent he could be. He heard Ramsey and Barney come out of their room and tried to look inconspicuous. Since he’d mouthed off about Ramsey being bitchy, and got in trouble for it, Jody didn’t know how to act around Ramsey or Barney. He was ashamed of himself, that much he would admit. At least in his own mind. Approaching either of the other two men intimidated the crap out of him, though, so he tended to avoid them at all cost.

Barney stopped to tell Prissy she was looking beautiful and the little girl lit up like a spotlight had been shone on her. “Tank you,” Prissy said, “I look like Mama.”

There was a definite pang to Jody’s heart. Prissy still cried every day for her mama, but from what Melissa had told him, Elena, Prissy’s mom, had barely had time for her.

That fit with Jody’s memory of Elena. She’d been a wild child ever since he’d known her. Always partying and chasing after him and other boys. The chasing part wasn’t a big deal in hindsight, though in small town Texas it had sure labelled Elena as a slut. Boys could do whatever they wanted but girls—

“You want me to go with you to drop her off at daycare?” Frankie asked, bouncing Prissy on his knees. “The first time can be hard. I remember crying, and Mom crying when she took me. It was awful.”

Jody glared at Frankie. “Thanks. Thanks a lot. That’s not going to make this whole thing any harder to do.” He stood and held his arms out for Prissy, relieved when she came to him without hesitation. “And no. I have to do this.”

Plus, maybe he’d get to see that guy, Noel. Yesterday Jody had been so embarrassed about rambling on in front of Noel. He’d overshared, done the TMI thing. Today he was regretting that. He still wanted to see the man. Noel was city-pretty, as Jody thought of it. Slick and smooth-skinned, with a tan that was probably not real, and hair cut and styled in a way no country barber could match. Stylish clothes and a sinfully sexy body, Noel didn’t fit in the little town boxes people tended to be assigned to. He probably wouldn’t even stay in Ashville for long.

Wouldn’t be a bad thing if he did, though, ‘specially now that Frankie’s cut me off. Course, when I’d have time for messin’ around is beyond me.

Wouldn’t hurt to look and imagine, though. Jody hadn’t had a lot of actual experience other than what he and Frankie had done together. He’d learned to use his imagination to the full extent of his abilities.

After he’d buckled Prissy into her car seat—a feat that Jody doubted he’d ever learn to do with any kind of speed—he got in and buckled himself in. A few minutes on the road, and Prissy was singing to herself. Jody’s thoughts returned to Noel. Jody was fascinated by him. It had to be because Noel was so different from him. It was no wonder that Noel kept popping into his thoughts.

And to fantasise about touching a smooth-skinned man like Noel had to be… Well, that was something Jody would put every effort he could into doing right. Frankie was cute and all, but he was as rough as a cob cowboy at heart. The only slick thing about him was his tongue and that was only in certain situations. Noel exuded an envious level of coolness, a polished worldliness that Jody had seen in his favourite actors or other people he viewed as being smarter and more talented than he’d ever be.

Noel was sleekly handsome, too, with his brown hair in a kind of mohawk, the tips of which were bleached a white-blond. He had the biggest, prettiest green eyes Jody had ever seen. They were darker than the leaves of the pines on the ranch, and they were rimmed in a grey-blue colour. His nose was a little long for his face, his lips just plump enough to make a man think dirty thoughts. There was a slight divot in his chin that Jody would love to lick.

“Stop it,” Jody said to himself.

“Stop it,” Prissy repeated. “Stop it, stop it, stop it.”

Jody chuckled and started singing a song about a mean bunny. For the rest of the drive, he kept his attention where it should have been, on his driving and Prissy. Once he walked into the daycare with her on his hip, though, he saw Noel.

The man looked edible, fuckable, all the things Jody shouldn’t have been thinking about but even as a father, he was still also twenty years old and had a libido that he couldn’t quite squash down.

“Hey, Jody, Prissy.” Noel came out from behind the little desk tucked into an alcove that served as a check-in and God only knew what else. “Are you excited to start daycare?”

Jody assumed that Noel was asking Prissy. Much to Jody’s surprise, Prissy tucked her chin to her chest and clung to him like she hadn’t done before. “Daddy.”

Oh, damn, his heart was going to break if she started crying, especially since she’d just called him daddy in that shaky voice.

“Let me get Seana,” Noel murmured, picking up the handset.

“Hey, baby girl, you’re going to have so much fun,” Jody assured Prissy, hoping that he wasn’t lying to her. “There’s kids here to play with, and Ms Seana will be coming out to say hi and show you everything again. You get to see that pretty blue and green room, the one with the jungle painted on the walls. You liked that, remember?”

Jody had got a tour of the place yesterday and Prissy had babbled on and on about that jungle. She particularly liked the tigers. “You want to go see those tigers again?”

“Tigers?” Prissy repeated, sniffling loudly. Jody wondered how parents survived all the little pains they experienced when their children were unhappy.

“Yeah, Prissy. They have the tigers, with the green eyes—” Eyes very much like Noel’s in colour. “Maybe you can count the monkeys, too.”

“I like monkeys,” Prissy said in a perkier tone. Her bottom lip quivered, though, and her eyes were glistening.

“Look who’s here! It’s Prissy!” Seana had such an upbeat tone going on that Jody immediately felt a little less like a jerk for putting Prissy in daycare. “Oh, I have been waiting for you to get here all morning. You just wait and see the fun we’re going to be having. It’s Friday, so that means paint day! Do you want to paint?”

Prissy was already reaching for Seana and nodding her head. Jody handed her over and caught Noel’s sardonic smile. Jody put a hand over his heart and hoped that his wounded impression wasn’t a total bomb. Noel’s soft chuckle eased some of the tension that Jody’d been carrying around for days.

“I’ll take her bag,” Noel offered, and Jody handed over the small backpack with the change of clothes and blanket in it. “She’ll be fine. I’ve seen little kids coming in all morning, and they’re all happy within minutes after their parents leave.” Noel’s eyes rounded. “Not that I mean the parents were making them unhappy! Just that some of them cry and scream and— Yeah, I’m just going to shut up.” Noel set the bag on the floor by his desk. His cheeks were tinged pink, and he looked so adorable that Jody actually trembled with the desire to touch him.

“I know this is a bad time for you and all,” Noel began, only to bite his bottom lip and tuck his chin down.

Jody’s throat went dry. He wanted to hear the rest of what Noel had been about to say, but he also didn’t want to hear it. His heart raced and his palms grew moist in the moments before Noel finally raised his head back up and looked at him.

“I’m being completely unprofessional here, but it seems like you could maybe use a friend,” Noel eventually said. “I know I could.”

“A friend,” Jody repeated, disappointment colouring his voice before he could stop it. Noel’s cheeks darkened. Jody realised he needed to explain his own reaction, otherwise he’d be the biggest asshole in town. Possibly even in Montana. “I’m sorry, man. I mean, yeah, friends are great and all. I just— The guy I was kind of messing around with, he decided we could only be friends once he found out I had Prissy. So the friend thing kind of caught me off guard, I guess.”

Noel frowned and scratched the back of his neck. “Why would he say that? Seems really shi—” He coughed and covered his mouth for a second. “Oops. Language. Seems like a really crappy thing to do.”

Jody agreed, but he wasn’t going to bad-mouth Frankie. Whatever his reasons for it, Frankie had the right to call it quits. “It wasn’t like we were dating-dating. We just, you know. Messed around.”

Noel eyed him with an expression Jody couldn’t decipher. “Well, at least he didn’t break your heart. That might be the way to do it, actually.”

“What’re you talking about?” Jody asked. Maybe Noel was a tad…off.

“I mean, I keep getting treated like crap when I’m in a relationship. I’d thought the screwing around thing was juvenile, but now it seems like maybe that’s the way it ought to be done. At least for guys like me. No broken heart that way.” Noel sucked in a deep breath and exhaled noisily. He grinned at Jody. “So, if you’re interested in being that kind of friends…”

Jody’s cock came roaring to life and he quickly swept his cowboy hat off to hold it in front of his groin. It was a dead giveaway, and Jody had absolutely no problem reading Noel’s look that time.

“I’ll take that as a yes.” Noel took three steps and stopped just short of being inappropriately close to Jody. “I wouldn’t hide that if I were you.”

“We’re in a daycare,” Jody squeaked out.

Noel nodded and reached into Jody’s shirt pocket. “We are, and okay, maybe you should cover it because of that. Here’s my number.” He typed his information into Jody’s phone, then tucked it back into Jody’s pocket. As he did, Noel pressed his hand firmly against Jody’s chest. “Call me, text me, whatever. I’m working six a.m. until four Monday through Friday, and eight to three every third Saturday. Other than that, I’m all yours.”