Rise (30 page)

chapter 41

I stood on the airport tarmac and ogled at the small private planes that surrounded us. Not only had I not been on a private plane before, I don’t think I’d ever even seen one in person. I’d been told that while I was unconscious I flew from Oklahoma to New York on a small plane, but I doubt it had anything in common with the plane that I was about to get on.

Cooper’s family lived a completely different life than what I was used to. When Cooper and I were alone together, we lived a normal life; we did normal things and spent normal amounts of money. When his parents came to town, we only ate at the nicest restaurants and attended the swankiest of events. It was a life that didn’t really fit me, and to be totally honest, it didn’t fit Cooper either. I was beginning to comprehend what Cooper had explained when we talked at the pool party and at lunches together during the summer before. He was putting on a show for his parents. He was living out their expectations, and he was lying to himself any time he said he enjoyed it.

The only thing that Cooper and his parents did agree on was me. Cooper’s parents saw me as the daughter of the wonderful Dr. Reed, not just another girl from Guthrie. I was going to be attending the right school, and eventually I’d have the title of “Dr.” before my name. They also knew that I loved Oklahoma and that if by chance Cooper and I ended up together, I would have a much better chance at getting him to return to Oklahoma than they ever could. In their eyes and his, I was perfect for him.

I also realized that part of his attraction to me was that I didn’t have any expectations on him, and with me, he could be himself. Funny thing was, I also realized that when I was with him, I wasn’t myself at all. He knew nothing about the real me: Nothing about the nightmares or the pain caused by my father. Nothing about the Lord that I’d loved and left. He didn’t want to know those things about me. Not because he didn’t care, but because talking about them would also involve talking about Riley. It had been Riley who’d walked through it all with me, and Cooper could never compete with those memories. And like he’d said, he didn’t want to have to compete.

“Are you excited, Attie?” Mr. Truman asked.

“Yes, sir. But I’d be more excited if you guys would just tell me where we’re going. Can’t you give me a hint?”

“Cooper would kill me if I spoiled his surprise. We’ll be there soon enough, and you’ll be out of your misery.”

“Thank you for letting me join you on your family vacation. I really appreciate it.”

“We’re glad to have you. You’re welcome any time.”

I felt Cooper’s hand slide into mine as he came up from behind me. “Plane’s ready, Dad. They just need you to go sign off on the flight log.”

“You five get on the plane. I’ll be right there.”

I followed behind Mrs. Truman, Cooper’s sister, and her boyfriend, Trevor, but Cooper held me back. “Let’s wait for a minute. We’ll have plenty of time with them around. I want a few more minutes alone with you.”

“I think you’ve had plenty of time alone with me over the last few months.”

“I can never get enough.”

He kissed me lightly under my ear and then glanced around to make sure nobody was looking before moving his lips to mine for a brief moment.

We heard the phone signal from my purse, which caused him to groan. “Tell whoever it is that we’re busy.”

“It’s just a text; I can tell by the signal.” I pulled the phone out, and as soon as I pushed the button, my heart froze.

“What’s the matter?”

I shook my head and tried to push the button again to open the message, but my hands trembled so badly that I could barely manage.

He gently grabbed my elbow. “Attie, what’s wrong?”

“It’s from Riley.”

Cooper’s face turned rigid. “What does he want?”

“Um.” I looked back down at the phone and read the message out loud. “Just curious whether or not you were coming home for spring break. I’d love to see you.”

I couldn’t stop the tears as they filled my eyes.

“It’s been four months,” Cooper yelled. “Why is he contacting you now?”

“I don’t know.” I tried to keep my body from trembling but couldn’t. Just seeing his name and reading the words was mental torture. He’d been thinking of me and had taken the huge step of reaching out, but I was going out of the country with Cooper.

“Have you two been in contact?”

“No. I’m as shocked as you are.”

“Well, text him back and tell him that you’re spending spring break with me.”

“I don’t want to be mean, Coop.”

“That’s not being mean; it’s telling him the truth.”

I stared down at his words and tried to think of what to say back. I knew he was sitting a thousand miles away anxiously waiting for me to respond.

“We’ve got to get on the plane, so say what you’re going to say so we can get out of here.” The hostility in his voice was undeniable.

“Don’t be angry with me, Cooper. I didn’t ask him to contact me.”

“I’m not mad, Attie; I’m upset.”

“About what?”

“Look at the effect he’s having on you. Two minutes ago we were kissing; now all of a sudden your head is right back in Oklahoma.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Where’s your heart?” His face turned crimson. “Is it here or there?”

I involuntarily turned and looked behind me as if I could actually see my past, and when I did, I saw him.

“Jesus,” I whispered.

“Where is it, Attie? Where is your heart?” Cooper was saying behind me.

I walked toward the Lord. I was desperate to talk to him. With him was where my heart was, and I was trying to make my way toward it.

“Where are you going?” Cooper yelled. “We’ve got to go.”

As quickly as the vision appeared, it was gone.

I startled at Cooper’s sudden touch. “Are you still coming?” His voice had slightly softened.

“Yes,” I whispered. “Just let me handle this. I’ll be right there.”

He grabbed my hand and gave it a squeeze before dropping it and running toward the plane.

My fingers quickly worked their way across the phone keyboard.

“Not this time. It would’ve been great to c u though.”

Within seconds, I received Riley’s reply.

“Bummer. I hope u r doing great. Every1 here misses u.”

I cried as I typed my response.

“I miss every1 there 2.”

Again, he replied within seconds.

“Don’t b a stranger. I’d love for u 2 keep in touch.”

My fingers flew across the buttons.

“I will.”

My heart beat through my chest as I waited for his response. I could tell by the delay that he was contemplating what to say. Finally, the phone signaled again.

“Take care of yourself. Gbye.”

My fingers typed more slowly this time.

“U 2. Gbye.”

Cooper was right. A part of my heart was right back in Oklahoma. I couldn’t help myself. Another part of my heart was still hiding from the Lord, and it wanted to come out. Every feeling I’d suppressed when I left home was knocking, wanting to be freed.

I turned back to see the Lord again. He appeared and smiled at me.

“Attie?” Cooper called.

I turned to him.

“We need to go. Everyone’s waiting.”

I walked toward the plane but looked back momentarily. The Lord was gone.

After regaining my composure, I walked up the stairs and down the aisle to Cooper. His body was tense as he sat looking out the window. He didn’t make eye contact with me.

I leaned over and gave him a small kiss on the forehead before sitting down next to him and grabbing one of his hands in mine.

“So you’re still not going to tell me where we’re going?”

His body seemed to relax as he finally looked over at me. “Aruba,” he whispered.

“Really?” I squealed. “Wow.”

His face wore a full grin again as he soaked in my excitement, and although my mind was somewhere else, I was determined not to let it show. I’d made the choice to go on the trip with Cooper. I now had to make the choice to give him my undivided attention.

chapter 42

The turquoise-blue water radiated in the orange light cast by the setting sun. Other than my first glimpse at the inside of the University of Oklahoma football stadium, nothing had taken my breath away quite like the view I was taking in while standing in the sand next to Cooper. It was stunning. We’d landed just a few hours before, dropped off our bags at the condo, and he and I immediately took off on our own.

A wonderful dinner at a local Italian restaurant that overlooked the ocean followed by a walk on the beach at sunset should have been the perfect evening, but ever since receiving the text from Riley, I wanted to be nowhere but home.

“Where are you?” Cooper asked.

“Aruba, and it’s amazing. Thank you.”

“That’s where your body is.” His voice sounded deflated. “Where’s your mind? Your heart?”

I squeezed his hand and gave him a large smile. “It’s right here. Why do you ask?”

“You seem far away, distant. Back in Oklahoma, maybe?”

“No,” I lied. “I think I’m just overwhelmed. It’s the most beautiful place I’ve ever seen. I think I’m in shock that I’m here.”

“Are you sure?”

I nodded before I forced myself to rise up to my tippy toes and give him a kiss. As I did, he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to him so tightly that I almost lost my breath. It was as if he was trying to hold on to me, trying to keep me from leaving—either physically or emotionally.

I rested my cheek on his shoulder, and we stood in silence. His arms wrapped around me as we watched the sun slip away behind the ocean’s edge. I could feel bursts of warm air on the top of my head, and with each exhale it was as if I felt his hope escape a little more.

“Do you happen to have any plans for April twenty-fifth?” I asked.

He pulled away and looked down on me with a quizzical stare. “Um, I don’t know.”

“How do you feel about going back to high school?”

“It doesn’t sound very appealing. I didn’t even like it the first time around. Why do ask?”

“That’s the night of the prom. I just thought—”

“Are you asking me to your prom?” Life filled his voice again.

“I know it’s totally stupid, but I was hoping you might want to go with me.”

“I’d love to go with you.”

“You would?”

His beautiful white smile reappeared. “Absolutely.”

“Proms really aren’t my kind of thing, but I didn’t get to go last year and … and well, I only have one more shot at it, and I wouldn’t want to look back and regret not going.”

“And you want to take me?”

It was a loaded question and I knew it. “Of course. Who else?”

“A cousin maybe?”

“I don’t have any cousins, so you’ll have to do. And besides, I think we’d look pretty great all dressed up.”

“I’m sure you’ll be gorgeous. You always are.”

“So you’ll put me on your calendar for April twenty-fifth?”

“You’re on my calendar for any day you want to be.”

“I guess I’ve got to get a dress and you’ll have to rent a tux.”

“I own a tux.”

I laughed. “Of course you do. What was I thinking? A Truman in a rented tux? Perish the thought.”

“We wouldn’t be caught dead in one of those things,” he admitted.

I dropped onto the sand below me and lay back so I could watch the stars as they appeared in the night sky. Cooper did the same.

“It’s a date then,” I whispered. “It gives us something to look forward to.”

“I look forward to every day with you.”

I turned my face toward him. “That’s sweet, Coop.”

“It’s true. It doesn’t have to be a special occasion for me to look forward to spending time with you. Every second with you is special.”

I wished I loved him, that I felt what he did. I wanted to be happy that I was in the most beautiful place I’d ever been and with a boy who was absolutely crazy about me. The truth was that I was in pain because I was in the most beautiful place I’d ever been and I wasn’t there with Riley.

Unsure of what to say, I changed the subject. “Oceans have the most distinct smell, don’t they?” I asked. “Sort of that combination of salt and seaweed. There’s something comforting about—”

Cooper shut me up by covering my lips with his.

chapter 43

The month between Aruba and prom passed quickly. Cooper and I spent practically every waking, nonschool moment together. Problem was, my past kept presenting itself.

Although I hadn’t told Cooper, Pops and I had texted each other a few times a week. Nothing more than small talk, but enough to keep my mind from concentrating solely on my life in New York. Pops never asked if I was seeing anyone, and he never offered information as to Riley’s dating status, but I was left to assume that he’d moved on with his life just as I had. Our “conversations” were never anything more than him checking in on me and giving me updates on the goings-on in Oklahoma. Pops missed me and I missed him.

I still talked to the girls back home regularly. They were all getting ready for prom just like I was, and I was sad to know that they would be experiencing the night without me. Although part of me couldn’t wait for them to post the pictures on Facebook, I knew that seeing them would be painful.

I shopped alone for my prom dress, orchestrated my hairdo, and made sure to buy the perfect shoes to match the dress. With every shopping spree, I wished that Marme had been there to help me or at least make it more enjoyable.

“So you’re ready for Saturday night?” Cooper asked from the recliner next to mine as we watched Dr. Phil on the small upstairs television in the living room.

“Ready as I’ll ever be. Are you?”

“I’ve got everything all planned out.”

“How much was there to plan?”

“You’d be surprised.”

“And you’ve got your tie and that cumber thing?”

He laughed. “Cummerbund? I’ve got it covered. I got red, just like you told me to.”

“Crimson.”

“What?” He looked confused.

“I told you my dress was crimson.”

“That’s what I just said.”

“No, you said ‘red.’”

“Red is crimson.”

“No. Red can be Husker-red or Bama-red or Razorback-red, but those are all different than Sooner crimson.”

He scowled. “That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.”

I was angry, and there was no way to hide it. Him saying that the way I associated my colors was ridiculous was basically the same as saying that I was ridiculous. “Are you saying that I’m ridiculous because I know my colors?”

“No. I’m saying that it’s ridiculous to categorize them by team. Don’t you think you’re getting a little carried away? There’s more to life than football, Attie.”

“You think I don’t know that?”

“I don’t know. You just chastised me because I didn’t know the difference between Husker-red and Sooner-crimson.”

“I didn’t chastise you. I was making a point. I just want us to match, that’s all.”

He reached out for me to take his hand. “Look, I don’t want to fight with you.”

“This is who I am, Riley. I’m—”

His hand dropped back to his side. “My name is Cooper.”

“What?”

“You just called me Riley. My name is Cooper.”

Realizing what I’d done, I felt the blood drain from my face. “I’m sorry. It slipped out.”

He nodded grimly.

“We were talking football.” I was making up the excuse as it flew out of my mouth. “Riley and I talked football all the time, that’s all. It’s just habit. Nothing more.”

“I watch football too, Attie. I’m not obsessed, but I watch it. Riley isn’t the only person in the world you can talk football with.”

“I know that.”

“But I guess he knew the difference between crimson and red. Right?”

I stayed silent.

Cooper shook his head slightly. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

I looked back at the television and watched as Dr. Phil lectured a woman sitting in the chair next to him. She looked about as uncomfortable as I felt.

“Are you ever going to give me a chance, or am I wasting my time?”

“You’re not wasting your time.”

I climbed out of my chair, crawled into his lap, and took his face in my hands. “It was a slip of the tongue, that’s all. This fall we’ll make our own football memories, Coop. I promise.”

“This fall?”

I smiled and gave him a small kiss.

“I hope we’ll be together this fall,” he whispered.

“We will be.”

He pushed the footrest back into place, slid out from under me, and stood up. “I guess I better be going.”

“But it’s early. You never leave this early.”

“I’ve got a lot to do before Saturday.”

“Cooper.” I stood and wrapped my arms around his waist. “Please don’t go away angry. It was an accident. It doesn’t mean anything.”

“I’m fine. I just have a lot on my mind about Saturday and everything.”

“It’s just a prom; it’s not a big deal. You don’t need to get all stressed out about it.”

“I know, I just … it’s going to be a big night for you, and I’m hoping it’s everything you want it to be.”

“It’s only a dance.”

“I know.” He took a deep, seemingly nervous breath. “I’ll be fine.” He turned and started making his way toward the front of the house. I followed closely behind and finally grabbed a hold of his hand just as he opened the front door.

“You’re not going to say good-bye?”

His face changed from showing nervousness to admiration as he placed his hands on either side of my face. “Attie, I … ” He stopped midsentence and nervously bit his bottom lip. “You know how I feel about you, right?”

“I think so.”

“My guess would be that you’re totally underestimating my feelings.”

“Oh?”

“I … I … ” I waited as he fumbled around for words. “I better go,” he finally said. “We can talk about all that stuff later.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. It’s not the right time.”

“Tomorrow then?” I urged.

“I’ll be busy tomorrow. But Saturday night, the car will be in your driveway at five thirty.”

“I can’t wait.”

He quickly pulled me to him and gave me one last kiss before heading out the door.

“See you Saturday,” I yelled.

He turned and smiled at me. “See you soon.”