Rise (27 page)

chapter 36

Cooper’s voice traveled from the hallway and woke me up. “Rise and shine, sleepyhead.”

“What time is it?” I asked from under my pillow.

“Almost noon.”

I bolted to an upright position, causing the pillow to fly across the room. “Noon? I never sleep till noon.”

“We were up a little late last night.” Cooper grinned. “How’d you sleep?”

“Sleep?”

Not well. I’d tossed and turned in the huge king-sized bed all night, but it was nothing new. I hadn’t been sleeping through the night for a while. No nightmares, thank God, but I was yet again lacking sleep, and it was probably starting to show on my face. Luckily, Cooper didn’t know me well enough to notice a difference. Riley, on the other hand …

“Fine. I slept just fine.”

He reached down, picked up the pillow, and threw it back on the bed. “Good. Are you hungry?”

“Starving.”

“Come on downstairs; I ordered some breakfast.” He turned from the doorway and walked away. “And then I threw it in the trash and ordered some lunch.”

“Sorry.”

His voice got harder to hear as he walked down the long hallway. “You don’t need to apologize.”

“Hey, I never got my S’mores,” I yelled.

“I didn’t hear you complaining about that last night,” he yelled back.

I allowed my mind to wander back to the night before. Hours of kissing before I finally came to my senses and escaped to my room for the night. Not that I was trying to get away from Cooper. I wasn’t being myself, and I didn’t know what I was capable of if I wasn’t thinking straight. I completely trusted Cooper. It was myself I wasn’t so sure of anymore.

I strolled downstairs and into the dining room. “I was a bit too preoccupied to be thinking about S’mores.”

“Are you thinking about them now?” he asked.

“A little bit, yes.”

“I could preoccupy you again, if you’d like. I know I’d like to.”

“I haven’t brushed my teeth.”

“You think I care?”

“I care. Plus, I’m hungry. Another round of preoccupation will have to wait until my stomach is full.”

“If you insist.” He set a plate of food down and then slid into the seat next to me. His blue eyes sparkled against the blue sweatshirt he was wearing, and his blond hair lay neatly on his head—not a strand out of place.

Glancing down at my grungy pajama bottoms and stained T-shirt, I felt uneasy sitting next to his well-manicured perfection. I lowered my gaze in a mix of shame and embarrassment and noticed my toenails. I hadn’t painted them since before Thanksgiving, and the crimson nail polish was almost completely chipped away.

He gave my shoulder a light rub. “Is something wrong?”

“No.”

“Are you wishing we hadn’t kissed?”

“Oh no, it’s nothing like that.”

“Are you sure? You could tell me if you were.”

“I’m sure. I was just thinking about how horrible I must look while you’re all put together.”

“You look beautiful, Attie. You always do.”

“Flattery will only get you so far, Mr. Truman.”

“How far?”

“Ha ha.”

“I’m not trying to flatter you. I’m speaking the truth.”

“Thank you.”

His hand softly slid down my arm to my hand. “I know you said you slept fine, but it sounded to me like you had a rough night.”

“Oh really?”

“Yes. From my room I could hear you call out a few times.”

“Call out what?”

“I couldn’t make out the words, but you sounded a little scared. I thought about going into your room to check on you but decided not to. Should I have?”

“No. Don’t worry, Coop. I’ve got an active imagination that carries over into my dreams sometimes. The best thing to do is just ignore it.” I took a bite of the pasta salad and washed it down with soda. “Sonic ice?”

“What?”

“This is Sonic ice. I’d know it anywhere.”

“Oh yeah. My parents had their own ice maker installed in the kitchen.”

“You have a machine in there that makes Sonic ice?”

“Sure do.”

“I’ve got a crush.”

“On me?” he asked with a grin.

“On the ice maker. I’ll be spending a lot of time with that thing.”

“Even after last night, I’ve got to play second fiddle to an ice maker? What does a guy have to do to take first?”

“I’ll know it when you do it.” I reached over gave him a small pat on the cheek. “So what’s on the agenda today?”

“Do you want to go on the snowmobiles? There’s tons of stuff to do around here.”

“Nothing too strenuous. I’m so sore I can barely move.”

“We can just hang around here for the day if you’d like.”

“Then that’s what I’d like.”

“As you wish.” He hopped out of the chair and made his way toward the kitchen. “I’ll call and get some snacks and dinner ordered. I can also have some games sent over if you want.”

“There are people that do that?”

“There are people out there that’ll do anything if the price is right. You just have to know who to ask.” I felt him reach over me as he set another glass of ice down on the table before he leaned over and gave me a kiss.

It felt odd. Riley and I had never been able to touch when we were together in the house, but here Cooper was, holding my hand, kissing me—all in complete freedom.

“You do live a privileged life, don’t you?” I asked as he pulled away.

He sat back down next to me. “I do, but I try not to take it for granted or take advantage.”

“He says as he phones in his food order for the day,” I teased.

“Are you making fun of me?”

“Yes.”

“Rude.” He reached out, grabbed me by the arms, and playfully pulled me onto his lap before kissing my neck.

“I have an idea.”

“What’s that?” he asked.

“I’m going to teach you how to rough it.”

“Please don’t.”

“It’ll be fun. We’ll make our own food, plan our own outings. You can learn what it’s like to be one of the little people.”

“I’d rather teach you how to be a VIP.”

“You can teach me that some other time if you want.”

His chin rested on my shoulder. “I want to think I’ll have the chance. It’s a relief to hear you talk like you’re expecting to be spending time with me in the future.”

“Why is that a relief?”

“It makes me feel like last night might have actually meant something to you.”

“We just kissed; that’s nothing compared to what you’ve done with other girls. Why are you so concerned about it meaning something to me?”

“Because it meant something to me.”

“That meant something to you?”

“You’re going to sit here and act like you don’t know how I feel about you?”

“I knew you liked me, but—”

“Since the moment I met you last summer, I’ve hoped we might get a chance to be sitting here like we are right now.”

“Coop, I’m not ready for any kind of relationship or anything.”

“I know you’re not, but let me remind you—you kissed me. You made the first move.”

“I know.” And I could have kicked myself for doing it.

“So the way I see it, you may not be ready for a relationship, but you’re ready for something. And I’ll take something over nothing any day of the week. One day you’ll be ready for more, and I’ll be here.” I started to get out of his lap, but he grabbed a hold of my hips and pulled me back down. “Don’t go.”

“I don’t know how I came off to you last night, but I don’t want to mislead you. What happened out there is as far as it’s going to go, physically speaking. I mean … I know I probably acted differently than I should have … I was a bit … I don’t know, um … ”

“You think I don’t know that?”

“Do you?”

“Yes. I was a part of the conversation yesterday. I know where you stand.”

“And I know what you expect from girls you date.”

“Did you not hear what I said?”

“What did you say?”

“I said that for the right girl I would wait.”

“I don’t think I’m that girl, Cooper.”

“I think you might be.”

“Okay.” I got out of his lap and sat back down in my chair. “I should have given your feelings more thought. I shouldn’t have kissed you.”

“Yes, you should have.”

“No, Coop—”

“I’m a big boy, Attie. I know what I’m getting into. It’s my choice, and I’m choosing to spend time with you knowing that my feelings are stronger than yours. But the fact of the matter is that you still kissed me first. You wanted to kiss me, so either you like me a little bit or you just wanted to make out with someone. I don’t see you as the kind of girl who kisses just anyone … ”

“I don’t.” At least I didn’t think so. I didn’t know what kind of girl I was anymore.

“So?”

“I’m attracted to you.” And desperately needed to get over Riley. Of course, I didn’t say that out loud. “I think that’s about all I know for sure.”

“It’s a start, and it’s all I need for right now. I have faith. I’ll win you over; you just watch.” He slid forward in his chair and grabbed my hands in his. “Can’t we just have fun together and let the rest take care of itself?”

“I like that plan. I’d really rather not have to think about it too much.”

“I don’t want you to have to think about it at all. What happens, happens.”

“Okay.”

“Good. Now, how does one go about roughing it?”

“About that.”

“Uh-oh, I don’t like the sound of that.”

“It’s just … ”

“What?”

“The way this is turning.” I squirmed in my seat. “Maybe we should head home.”

“What? Why? I thought we were having fun.”

“We are. It doesn’t have anything to do with that.”

“Well, what does it have to do with?”

“My age. I’m seventeen.”

“I know how old you are.”

“And I’m only in high school. And, well … we’re whatever we are and doing whatever it is we’re doing … ”

“I’m still not following you.”

“I don’t think it’s a good idea for me to be alone in a house with a twenty-year-old man that I just spent several hours kissing.”

“Attie, I’m not going to try anything. You can trust me.”

“It’s not that I don’t trust you. It’s that … I just don’t think it’s appropriate. And regardless of whether or not you think you’ll try anything, I just don’t think it’s smart to push the limits like that. Last night, we were awfully close to … crossing over.”

“I wouldn’t have. Even if I wanted to, which of course, I did, I wouldn’t. You can trust me.”

“Still … it just isn’t smart.”

His shoulders slumped. He was obviously disappointed.

“See, this is what I was saying. We’re on two different planets. We don’t see things the same way.”

“No, I understand what you’re saying. I’m just disappointed, that’s all. I’ll take you home if that’s what will make you feel better.”

“And you aren’t mad?”

“I’m not mad. As long as we can still spend some time together once we get you home; that’s all I care about.”

“Of course we can.”

“Okay. Well, let’s eat lunch, and then we can pack up and head back.”

“Thank you for understanding.”

“You’re welcome. I mean, what can I say? I dazzle. Who can blame you for not being able to trust yourself alone around me?” He laughed.

“You just keep telling yourself that.”

“I plan on it.” He picked up my plate and carried it toward the kitchen. “You know, I said I’d be willing to hold out for the right girl. I just never dreamt I’d be having to do it the day after I said it.”

The right girl. My heart sank when he said it. I was pretty sure I wasn’t the right girl for him. Sadly, he didn’t see things the same way.

chapter 37

“Green, red, yellow, red.”

“I can’t do this,” he yelled. “This is too hard.”

“You’re forgetting to strum.” I slapped my knee to the beat of the music. “Strum, strum, strum.”

“I’m strumming!”

“You’re not strumming at the same time you push the button. Hurry, you’re losing the audience. They’re booing you.”

No matter how hard he concentrated, Cooper couldn’t seem to get the rhythm, and eventually the song stopped and Guitar Hero had claimed yet another victim.

“That song’s hard, Coop. But you still did well on ‘I Love Rock and Roll.’”

“I’m playing this one again. I’m not giving up. I’m going to figure this thing out if it’s the last thing I do.”

“‘Iron Man’ is kind of hard. We could be here all night.”

“What else do we have to do? We’re taking it slow, remember?”

“Are you complaining?”

“No way. I love a challenge.”

“Are you talking about me or the game?”

“Both. Now push start.”

“You’re in control of that. You strum when you want it to begin.”

Cooper took his rocker stance, placed his fingers on the guitar neck, and prepared for battle.

The song started, and he carefully and methodically moved his fingers to the flowing colored dots. He was doing much better this time around, and his score increased with every successful strum.

For some reason, seeing him so serious about something so trivial was completely adorable.

“Can I be your number one fan?”

“Don’t interrupt the master,” he warned as he continued to successfully manipulate the buttons.

“A groupie maybe? Follow you around while you’re on tour?”

“You’re going to make me lose my concentration.”

“Would you give me a backstage pass?”

“I’ll give you any pass you want.”

“And you’ll wear those tight rocker pants that show off your butt?”

His hands fell off the guitar as he looked over at me with a grin. “Have you been checking out my butt?”

“Maybe.” I pointed at the screen in front of him. “You’re losing your audience.”

“I’m more concerned with my audience of one and keeping her attention.”

“Oh, you’ve got it.”

Removing the guitar strap from his shoulder, he made his way toward me, his grin increasing in size with every step.

I finally reached out, grabbed him by the shirt, and pulled him to me. “You just lost.”

“Not the way I see it.”

I thought he was about to kiss me, but instead he sat down.

“How did we get here?” he asked.

“You drove over.”

“No, how did we get here, to this place?”

“Where?”

“From you wanting nothing to do with me last summer to us not being able to keep our hands off of each other now. That’s quite a difference.”

“I thought that’s what you wanted.”

“I did. I do. I’m just surprised, and I’d like to know what changed your mind about me.”

“Last summer I thought you liked me a little—”

“A little? Attie, I called you within hours of meeting you the first time. I asked you to lunch and you turned me down. Then I tried to get your attention at the pool party, but you didn’t want anything to do with me.”

“We talked.”

“Yeah, we talked. But then Riley came around, and it was like I never existed.”

“Oh.”

“Then I orchestrated a deal where I could be near you every week at the clinic—”

“So Riley was right. You didn’t do that to get work experience.”

“Of course not. I was only doing it to be close to you.”

“I see.”

“I asked you out to lunch and then out to my house to go horseback riding—”

“And I brought Chase.”

“I finally got the hint. I didn’t have a prayer of catching your eye.”

“It’s not that you didn’t catch my eye. I just wasn’t sure what to make of you. I think you kind of scared me.”

“I scared you?”

“Well, I’d never had anyone like you just walk up and talk to me like that, and then you called right away. I think I thought you were arrogant.”

“Do you have any idea how many times I dialed the number and hung up before I finally let the phone call go through? I was a nervous wreck.”

“Then why did you do it? I mean, you barely knew me.”

“I don’t know. There was just something about you. I literally couldn’t stop thinking about you. I thought if I didn’t get to know you better that I was going to lose my mind. It was ridiculous, but I finally realized that you and Riley were together, and I settled on just being your friend for the time being and hoped that one day you might end up coming up here to school or something. So when the phone rang a few months ago and I saw it was you, my heart just about exploded.”

“You mean when I called about needing a ride home from the party?”

“I have to admit I got my hopes up a little.”

“And then?”

“I realized that you were in pretty bad shape, both physically and mentally, and just concentrated on being your friend. I didn’t give us getting together another thought until—”

“Until what?”

“Until you kissed me. After ten months of waiting, in that spilt second, everything changed. And my question is still … why?”

“Honestly?”

“Of course.”

“You’re a nice guy and I enjoy spending time with you, but—”

His face wore concern. “But what?”

“I’m just flat out attracted to you, and I think I can be with you and still feel pretty independent.”

“And he wouldn’t let you be independent?”

“Who? Riley?”

He nodded.

“It’s not that he wouldn’t let me. I think he just worried … a lot. Of course, I can’t blame him. There was a lot to be worried about.” I shrugged. “Riley was Riley, and there’ll never be anyone else like him. He was my first love, so honestly, I don’t think anyone will ever compare.”

“I don’t want to try to compare. I don’t want to be in a competition.”

“It’s not a competition. This is just me trying to go on with life, and I want to be honest with you about it. I can’t pretend that Riley and I never existed. All I can do is move on, and spending time with you helps me do that without having to worry about it being something too serious. I think I just want to be a normal seventeen-year-old without having to have everything in my life be so momentous. I want to have some fun and learn to enjoy life as it is now.”

“Then nothing else needs to be said.” He kissed me on the forehead before wrapping his arms around me and pulling me closer. “This last month since the trip, I’ve been having the time of my life, and I’m not expecting that to change any time soon.”

To Cooper, our time together since the ski weekend signaled the start of something new. For me, it confirmed the end of the life I’d left behind. It was proof that I could navigate life on my own. My outlook on life was a choice, and I’d come to realize that the only option I was interested in pursuing was the one that made me embrace the life that lay ahead and leave the past where it belonged—in the past.

Cooper interrupted my thoughts. “Hey, do you have plans for spring break?”

“Spring break?” I looked back at him. “That’s over a month away.”

“I know, but I figured if you didn’t have plans, we could spend it together.”

“Back at the cabin?”

“No. And we wouldn’t be alone. My family would be with us.”

“Where?”

“So will you go?”

“Where?”

“It’s a surprise. You’ll find out when we go—if you say yes.”

“You’ve piqued my curiosity.”

He grinned. “Really? You’ve managed to pique far more in me.”

“Very funny.

“So are you going with me or not?”

“I’ll go.”

“Good.” He leaned forward to kiss me but stopped himself. “Oh. Do you have a passport?”

“Yes, I’ve got one, but I’ve never used it.”

“You’re about to.”