Rising Star (16 page)

“
They will just claim
freedom of the press.” Matt’s voice was a little less angry as he
watched the tears roll down Selena’s cheeks. “It never works.
Besides, what were you doing with Paul in your room?”

“
He came to my room because
his girlfriend had broken up with him. He said he needed a
friend.”

“
Then what
happened?”

“
He tried to kiss me and I
threw him out. That’s when the guy snapped our picture. I was
pushing him from my room.”

Matt looked as if he wanted to believe her,
but was still unsure. “Why would they say that about Don Broward?
He’s twice your age.”

“
I told you about the blond
girl, Megan. I replaced her in the lead role. She was telling the
cast that I was sleeping my way through Hollywood.”

Matt laughed softly, somewhat satisfied but
still uneasy about the picture of her and Paul. “Hollywood can be
vicious,” he said, shaking his head. He hugged Selena then and told
her not to let anymore broken-hearted men into her hotel room. He
seemed to laugh it off, but Selena felt as if something had changed
between them, as if the purity of their relationship had been
tainted. She felt a stiffness in his hug, as if he were keeping his
guard up.

Selena finished filming the following week
and Matt was flying to New York for interviews. He was promoting
the movie he’d made in Canada and he left before Selena.

She cried a little as they kissed goodbye
and he promised to see her soon. Would it always be this way? They
seemed to always be saying goodbye as one or the other boarded a
plane.

Matt felt a tug at his heart when he saw
Selena’s tears. It made him feel good that she cared this much. “I
still have my car at the airport in Albuquerque, I have to come
back soon,” he said softly.

“
Well…hurry and come back,”
she smiled through her tears.

They stood together, clinging to each other
in the middle of the busy airport as travelers ebbed and flowed
around them. Selena wasn’t even surprised anymore when a flashbulb
popped in her eyes. Even now, she thought, as anger stirred in her
stomach. Even in the middle of an intimate goodbye, they have to
have their precious pictures?

Selena went back to her hotel, hugely
depressed and tired of the city. She wished she could just give
this up and run away with Matt. She hadn’t really minded filming
the movie with Paul and Jennifer, and Don Broward was so easy to
work with. He was like a father figure or a favorite uncle. But
now, she understood what Matt had been telling her about the travel
and the loneliness. She felt homesickness wash across her in waves
as she thought of Rusty and the barrel racing season she was
missing out on.

She finally turned to her laptop and
immersed herself in a new story. A story for young adults, about a
young girl lost in the desert and trying to find her way home. She
typed late into the night, immersing herself in the story and even
forgetting to stop for dinner.

Selena’s agent called her the following day.
Estelle was the lady Don had recommended to her. “I got a call from
a modeling agency,” she began as soon as Selena answered the phone.
“One of their agents, Michael, is anxious to meet you. Do you want
me to set it up?”

Selena sighed heavily. More modeling?
Seriously? She knew most girls her age would be thrilled to have
these exciting opportunities, but she just wanted to go home, and
she wanted Matt by her side. “I guess,” she finally said into the
phone. At least the pay is good, she reminded herself.

Selena went the following evening to the
restaurant where Estelle had told her she was meeting Michael. It
was walking distance from her hotel and she strolled along the busy
sidewalk, wishing she were somewhere else, or at least that Matt
was here with her. She felt as if she had to force her legs to keep
moving forward; she kept reminding herself of all that money.
Although from the movie alone, she knew her college tuition was
set, that is, if she could ever get away from Hollywood and go to
college. She walked through Hollywood as a local now, ignoring the
tourists, the sight of strange people in weird outfits, and even
ignoring the paparazzi, when a man stepped out of a doorway and
snapped her picture. She was an old hand at the madness of
Hollywood now; Matt had been right…you just get used to it.

Michael greeted her warmly when the hostess
left her at his table. He stood up and politely took her hand as he
introduced himself. He was younger than she had expected and she
was surprised at his handsome good looks. He was thinner than Matt,
almost slim, but he had a beautiful face and tan skin with a shock
of shiny, dark, unruly hair. She guessed he was Italian from his
dark, handsome appearance. He leaned toward her as he talked and
Selena was unsettled by his nearness. He told her he was interested
in her becoming a model for his agency. “We do runway shows and
catalog layouts,” he told her. “Estelle sent over still shots and I
have to say, the camera really loves you.”

“
Yeah, I wish I could say
the love was mutual,” Selena said nervously.

“
Maybe that’s your magic,”
Michael whispered as he leaned even closer. “You have a faraway
look in your shots, as if your mind is on a long lost love or
something. It adds a bit of mystery to your face. Beautiful,” he
finished with a flourish. “I would love to photograph you,” he
whispered, his hand on the back of her chair as he leaned ever
closer. Selena felt nervous with his nearness and she was wondering
how to scoot her chair away from him without offending him when a
flashbulb popped in their eyes. She jumped as it startled her and
she quickly pulled away from Michael’s smooth, mesmerizing
voice.

He laughed softly. “Don’t worry, young
Selena. As your star rises, you will have more cameras in your face
than you can stand.”

“
I already do,” she
answered, a grimace replacing her nervous smile.

They discussed the modeling more over dinner
and Selena was grateful when Michael attacked his food, giving her
some breathing room. She didn’t give him any definitive answer,
only telling him she would think about it. She declined his offer
to walk her back to her hotel. She didn’t need any more paparazzi
making her look bad. She walked back alone, her head down, staring
at the sidewalk in front of her as she thought about the modeling
job. Of course, she had no interest in it and it wasn’t just a
one-time thing. She would be at their beck and call, flying back
and forth from New Mexico whenever they needed her. She really
didn’t want to do it, but it would be a steady job with a huge
paycheck. How many other eighteen year olds just out of high school
made this kind of money? I’ll do it. Just for a while. Just for the
money. But everything in her body screamed that it would be a
mistake. She still wasn’t sure by the time she reached her hotel
and she decided to get Matt’s opinion first.

They wrapped up filming a few days later and
Paul James had a party at his house to celebrate.

Selena didn’t have any real interest in it,
but she felt obligated to go. She
was
his leading lady,
after all. She was shocked when she arrived and saw so many actors
and actresses, hanging out and drinking. She hadn’t expected this
many people to show up. She saw many faces she recognized from TV
and from movies and even a few of the too-slim models she
recognized from magazines. She walked past a group of girls, a
glass of champagne in her hand, when she heard them giggle and
glance her way. She looked back and there was the blond, Megan,
with a circle of friends. “You know it takes more in this business
than just sleeping your way into a part,” she said loudly as Selena
passed. “I guess some people will do just about anything to get a
lead role,” another chimed in and they all giggled. Be-otches, she
thought to herself as her face flushed with anger. She wandered out
onto the balcony, instead of slapping Megan in the face, which was
what she really wanted to do. It was just unbelievable that
everyone thought she was sleeping around, especially for parts in
movies. Parts that she didn’t even want. For movies she didn’t even
want to be in. She felt a tear trickle down her face as she slammed
her hand into the balcony railing. Why didn’t they see that she had
no interest in their stupid movie, their designer clothes or
sitting in front of a camera all day. She made up her mind, then
and there, to go home and have nothing more to do with this place.
She would rather be poor and work her way through college, than
stay in Hollywood and have everyone see her as a harlot. I’ll go
and pack, she thought angrily. I can be on the first flight out of
here in the morning.

She turned to leave and there was Paul,
blocking her way. “Hey Selena,” he said. “Congrats on finishing the
movie. I think it’s going to be great, don’t you?”

“
I guess,” she answered
quietly. She kept her distance from Paul, watching him guardedly.
He’d already got her in enough trouble.

“
You’re going to come back
for the opening, right? It’s an important event.”

“
I hadn’t really thought
about it,” she answered evasively. If she could get out of here
now, she doubted she would
ever
be back, unless it was to
visit Matt.

“
Can I just have a hug, one
last hug before you go back to the desert?” Paul sensed her mood,
and the thought of never seeing her again caused a dull ache in his
chest.

She stared at him for a full minute, trying
to judge his intentions. But all she saw on his face was the
easygoing friendship they’d shared throughout filming. She walked
toward him hesitantly and Paul wrapped his arms around her. She
stayed wrapped in his arms for a minute, enjoying the kindness
after the girls had been so nasty to her. She figured this was the
last time she would see him since she was never coming back. She
still felt the animal magnetism and attraction between them as he
held her. It was like a live wire. An energy whenever they were
near each other that was almost palpable. It was what had worked so
well for them as lovers in the film.

“
Look, she’s at it again.”
Selena heard the shrill voice in the doorway and knew exactly who
it was. The words were followed by giggles from the group of
girls.

She broke away from Paul and headed for the
front door, setting her full glass of champagne on a table as she
went. She could hear the laughter behind her and she slammed the
front door, blocking the hateful sound. She wished she could block
it from her mind as easily. At least it wasn’t paparazzi this time.
She smiled ruefully as her driver weaved the limo through traffic.
She couldn’t wait to put this city behind her and never return.

Selena flew home the following day, writing
on the plane as usual. She almost cried in her father’s arms when
he picked her up at the airport. She never thought she would be so
happy to see her wide open desert, her family’s small trailer and
her faithful friend, Rusty. She threw her arms around Rusty’s neck
as she fed him an apple. “I won’t leave you again, Rusty,” she told
him. “No more Hollywood for me.” No paparazzi, no nasty girls
laughing at her, no smiling for a camera. Her simple, small town
life had never seemed as sweet to her as it did now.

Rusty rubbed his head on her as if in
agreement, leaving a trail of apple juice across her jeans.

“
Nothing bothers you, huh
Rusty?” she said as she scratched his withers. “You could be in a
hundred movies and they can say anything they want about you, as
long as they give you an apple.” Rusty tossed his head, as if in
agreement, as he munched his apple happily.

Selena finally sent her new manuscript off
to a literary agent the following day, the one she had finished in
L.A. Matt had still been bugging her to send it off, but she just
hadn’t had the time. Now that she was done with Hollywood, she
thought she could really concentrate on her writing. She decided to
try only one agent at a time, instead of having an inbox full of
rejection letters. The pain and unhappiness of Hollywood was still
too raw to be able to handle another pile of polite rejection
letters.

Matt called her each evening when he
returned to his hotel room. He was almost finished with his
interviews in New York and planning to stop in Albuquerque on his
way back to L.A. She sat in front of the TV with her parents every
evening, watching Matt give interviews on several different talk
shows. He always seemed so smooth and charming in front of the
cameras; she wondered how he did it. She was sure she would be a
nervous wreck if it were her.

She watched her email day after day with no
results. She knew some of the literary agents didn’t even bother
responding at all if they didn’t like the work. She was beginning
to assume that must be the case. Maybe she should send her story
off to another agent? How was it possible that this business was so
hard, while acting and modeling gigs were being thrown at her? She
knew it could take years before she could ever get one of her books
in print. She sighed as she contemplated it. She should be happy,
she was one of the stars of a movie that would be coming out soon;
Michael Sabatino’s office had contacted her twice, urging her to
accept a modeling contract, and she would see Matt soon, as he
passed through on his way back to L.A. Then why did she feel so
troubled? Why did she have to be torn between what she wanted to do
and what was being offered. She suddenly wished she could start
this summer over. If she could go back and never be an extra in the
movie with Beth, then she wouldn’t be in this position now. But you
also wouldn’t have met Matt, she reminded herself. She finally
decided to stop thinking about it altogether, at least until she
could discuss it with Matt. But, she felt sure of what he would
say. Take the modeling job and write your books, she could just
hear him now. You’ll get used to it. She knew he would tell her
that too, but what if she didn’t want to get used to it? But it’s a
huge amount of money, Beth’s voice ran through her thoughts too.
And you’ll be a movie star. And maybe even a supermodel. Who cares,
she heard herself respond. She shook her head, determined to shake
the thoughts from her mind.