Rising Star (19 page)

She tried calling Matt every day. She left
numerous voicemails, but to no avail. He wouldn’t take her calls,
and he didn’t return her calls, either. Selena moped about the
house, too upset to write or even to go for a ride on Rusty. She
spent most every day in her room, thinking about Matt. Her mother
sensed something was wrong and tried to draw her out, but Selena
didn’t want to talk about it. It hurt too much to even say Matt’s
name. She was barely eating or sleeping and by the time she left
for New York, she looked worn out and haggard, with dark circles
under her eyes.

She went on several local talk shows in New
York, answering questions about her book. It would be out in two
months she told them. Each anchorperson always tried asking Selena
about Matt, but she gave noncommittal answers. She didn’t feel
nervous being on TV and answering their questions. She felt numb.
Her whole body felt numb and exhausted and she just didn’t care.
She smiled brightly for the cameras and seemed completely at ease,
but the truth was she didn’t feel anything. Matt had left a gaping
hole in her heart and even talking about her book didn’t fill it.
She missed him more each day and the best she could do was smile
brightly for the cameras and pretend she was enjoying it.

She made it to the interview of her
fantasies. Fantasies that now seemed a lifetime ago. She sat on a
stool across from her favorite anchor, Seth Roundtree, on her
favorite morning news show.

A makeup artist had expertly covered the
dark circles under her eyes. She hadn’t had a full night’s sleep
since the day of Matt’s phone call.

“
So, Selena,” the handsome
anchorman was saying. “I understand you have a new book coming out
and
a new movie soon, starring alongside Paul
James?”

“
Yes, that’s correct,” she
answered, a huge smile pasted on her face. “The book is called
‘Infamous Moments.’ It’s about two young lovers whose parents
forbid them to be together. They run away together and—

“
Yes, yes,” Seth
interrupted. “And tell us, Selena, is there any truth to the rumors
about you and your costar, Paul James?”

Selena’s eyes widened. Now she was more
alert than she’d been in days. How dare he? She was here to talk
about her book, after all. “No,” she said adamantly. “We are good
friends, nothing more.”

“
And you’ve also been seen
out with Michael Sabatino in Hollywood. It’s even been hinted at,
that this is how you broke into Hollywood. Tell us more about
that.”

“
There’s nothing to those
rumors, either,” she answered angrily. “Look, I’m here to talk
about my book—”

“
Okay, that’s all the time
we have right now, Selena. Stay with us folks,” Seth looked into
the camera now as he smiled brightly. “Maria will give us an update
on news from the middle east after the break, and Pat will be
standing by with an update on the weather.”

Selena looked at the camera, her smile still
frozen in place, until the off-air light came on behind it. Then
she hopped off her stool, looking at Seth in amazement.

“
Sorry Selena,” he said.
“But news is news. No hard feelings, right?”

She didn’t answer as she stared at him for a
minute, then turned and walked silently away.

Chapter 22

Matt spent most of his days pacing his
mansion in the hills. He couldn’t concentrate on anything and he
avoided all his friends. He had a break right now between movies
and he just didn’t know what to do with his time. He tried reading,
but he couldn’t keep his mind on anything. He thought about Selena
day and night, his mind in a turmoil. His common sense told him
Selena hadn’t slept with Paul or Michael, although he knew about
Michael’s reputation, and Paul was certainly a playboy. He had been
sure he could trust Selena, but yet he couldn’t get the picture of
her and Michael out of his mind, with Michael leaning into Selena
while he talked to her, his arm along the back of her chair. They
had looked like a couple of lovers instead of a business meeting.
And then there was the picture of her and Paul with her in her
pajamas as they stood in the door of her room. He’d seen the way
Paul looked at Selena, drinking her in with his eyes. And Megan had
told him she saw Selena in Paul’s arms on his balcony at the party.
A white-hot rage of jealousy overcame him whenever he thought of
it. But aside from all that, he’d fell in love with a poor little
country girl and he was afraid she was turning into the same
plastic Hollywood type he despised. He had been determined to
forget her once and for all, but so far he’d had no luck. He stared
at the magazine pictures of Selena with him, at the airport and all
the places paparazzi had snapped their picture. He had the fantasy
picture of her on the horse in a frame by his bed and he stared at
it for a while every night before trying to sleep. He had picked up
the phone a hundred times to call her, but he set it down each
time, forcing himself not to call. He had ignored her calls when he
was so angry, until they finally stopped, but now, he almost wished
he hadn’t. He had fallen for her a lot harder than he had realized
and he was hurting pretty bad as he did his best to get over
her.

Selena flew to Chicago next, where she did
another endless round of interviews on TV and radio shows. She was
still numb and unable to feel nervous, but as each interviewer
asked her about her book, Selena’s face would come to life as she
talked about the two young lovers in her story. She had enjoyed
writing it more than anything she’d ever done, and the two
teenagers had come to life in her mind as they struggled through
their lives, fighting for their right to be together. She didn’t
give away too much to each interviewer, just enough to cause them
to want to read the book. She didn’t know it, but millions of
teenagers across the country had been following her story in the
rag mags. The movie she’d made with Paul and Jennifer was due out
the following week and now she had a book coming out soon too.
Teenage girls were enthralled with her rags to riches story in such
a short time and they had loved the magazine layout, with the
mysterious girl on the fantasy horse. The perfume was flying off
the shelves as Selena’s name became known in every household in the
country. Teenage boys were falling in love with her beautiful face
and her quiet poise as they watched her in interviews. They were
already making plans to see her movie when it hit the theaters. And
luckily, none of her interviews had gone as badly as the one in New
York. She hadn’t even been able to watch the morning news show
anymore. She was just to hurt and angry at Seth Roundtree. She
hadn’t watched herself on TV, either. Her mother called her daily,
telling her how wonderful she looked on TV and how everyone at work
was talking about her, everyone in the town even. Selena put a
bravado in her voice when she talked to her mom, but it was
false—as false as the stories in the rag mags. She just wanted to
go home and disappear back into her stories, far away from the
public eye.

She still cried herself to sleep each night.
She had given up trying to call Matt weeks ago, but her pain had
never lessened. She moved through each day like an automaton,
smiling politely for the cameras, but at night, she suffered
silently in her hotel room. She finally picked up her laptop and
escaped each evening, back into the world of the girl lost in the
desert. The desert in her story was real, but also a metaphor for
the young girl’s life. She wandered through sand dunes, searching
for her way, just as Selena herself was searching for the path her
life should take. The more she could bring the young girl to life
and lose herself in the story, the more she could block out the
pain of her own life. She didn’t realize it at the time, but her
ability to bring her characters to life was why Sam had signed her
book contract. Sure, it helped that she was already making a name
for herself, but when he read an excerpt from each manuscript, he
saw that Selena had a real talent as an author. She pulled the
reader into her stories just as she pulled herself into them.

Selena flew to L.A. next, wondering if there
was any chance she would run into Matt. She knew she couldn’t make
him believe her and trust her, but she thought if she could just
see him, maybe they could at least be friends. Not speaking to him
at all was just too much; she felt as if it was literally killing
her, as if she was being eaten away from inside. She had never know
that a broken heart could be so painful. Not just emotionally, she
felt physical pain in her stomach and she was barely eating. Her
slim figure was becoming gaunt and her jeans were hanging loosely
from her hips.

She went on several local TV shows in L.A.,
discussing her book with each interviewer. “I understand you have a
movie coming out right away too,” Greg Stevens, from a local
channel said.

“
Yes, it’s called ‘Dream
Legacy,’ and it also stars Paul James and Jennifer
Waring.”

“
So, tell me Selena, is it
true what’s been said about you and Paul James? Is there a spark
there?”

“
No.” Selena forced her
smile to remain in place. “Paul and Jennifer and I became great
friends during filming, but nothing more.”

She politely turned the conversation back
toward her book, keeping her smile frozen in place.

Matt was flipping through channels in his
living room, his mind still on Selena, when he saw her face. She
was larger than life on his big-screen TV and the remote control
slipped from his hand and slid across the floor as he stared. He
could see that her smile was not genuine and he could tell from her
eyes that she wished she were somewhere else. He smiled as he
watched her. She had so much mystery in her huge violet eyes, he
could certainly understand why every man she met quickly became
smitten. She didn’t need the white dress or the horse; she gave off
a mystical aura regardless of her setting. Her eyes still had the
faraway, dreamy look to them. As if she were looking into a
different time and place. It lent an air of mystery to her that he
found very alluring. As he watched her on TV, he found himself
falling in love with her all over again, as he knew most young guys
across the country must be doing right now. He caught himself
flipping through local channels over the next few days, searching
for a chance to see her again.

Paul called Selena when he found out she was
in town and he took her and Jennifer out to dinner. They slipped
easily back into their friendly chatter, joking and laughing over
dinner. Paul could see that even though Selena showed an outward
smile and laughter, it never reached her eyes. He still found her
attractive and he held her tight when he dropped her at her hotel
after dinner. “I know you’re going through some hard times, but I’m
here if you need to talk,” he whispered in her ear as he held
her.

“
Thank you Paul,” she said.
“It’s good to know I have real friends.”

He left her at the hotel and took Jennifer
home. Selena went back to the story she was working on. She was
typing away on her laptop when she heard a knock at her door. She
opened the door a crack, with the safety chain in place, until she
saw Paul’s smiling face. She quickly removed the chain, opening the
door for him. She wondered as she let him in, if this was going to
be a repeat performance of the last time, when she’d thrown him out
of her room.

“
I thought you might like a
beer,” Paul said as he sat on the edge of her bed. “No funny
business, you just seem like you need a friend right
now.”

“
Um…yeah, okay.” She knew
he was right. She did need a friend. Someone who knew that the
stories about her weren’t true. She opened a beer and gulped it
quickly, feeling almost dizzy as it quickly took effect. They
chatted easily as they each had another beer, then Paul asked her
about Matt and he saw her shoulders stiffen.

“
I can’t believe he would
pay attention to those stories,” she said. “I thought he knew me
better than that.” She told him what Megan had said to Matt and how
angry Matt had been and, as he watched her face, he saw huge tears
roll down her cheeks. She quickly dipped her head, her long hair
hiding her tears. Paul slipped his arm around her and pulled her
into his chest as she cried. She hadn’t talked to anyone about Matt
and the weeks of pent-up emotions tumbled out in a rush as she
leaned into him and cried. Paul handed her a tissue and she finally
dried her eyes. He put his hand under her chin and turned her face
up to his. “It will get better, Selena. Soon the magazines will be
onto another story, someone else’s life to ruin, and they’ll forget
all about you.” He stared into her eyes, which still had a glassy
look after her tears and a sadness that made her seem even more
beautiful and mysterious. He leaned down and kissed her before she
knew what was happening. Selena was kissing him back before she
realized it. She was responding to the chemistry they’d always had
between them, but even more, she was responding to a friend, a
closeness that she had been without. It felt so good to have
someone hold her and kiss her after weeks of loneliness and
visiting city after city by herself. They kissed for a couple
minutes, until Selena came to her senses. She put her hands against
Paul’s chest and pushed him away. “I’m sorry Paul, I can’t,” she
said. She stood up and walked to the windows, her back to him. Paul
sat on the bed, trying to quell his emotions. He had seen his
opening with Selena, sure that he had a shot now that Matt had
broken up with her.

“
I’m sorry Paul, but it’s
not going to happen,” she said, her back still to him.