Risking It All (16 page)

    After a couple of minutes, Memphis stepped into the room and slowly approached the bed. The mattress dipped as he crawled next to her, but still she ignored him. She didn’t even open her eyes when he scooted closer to her and wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her closer to his body.

He brushed his lips against her cheek and pressed his face into her hair.

“I’m sorry, beautiful.”

After leaving him in the truck and storming into the cabin, Kennedy had banished herself in the bedroom, refusing to acknowledge his existence for the rest of the night.

She wasn’t just pissed at him for giving her the wrong impression of what he meant when he stormed into the restaurant and hauled her off, she was mad at herself as well. How stupid was she to think that Memphis was actually jealous of her being with Alec? He was only upset that she had been drinking with a man she didn’t know and had basically left herself stranded and alone with him, since she wouldn’t drive back. It wasn’t envy she heard in his voice at the thought of another man spending time with her; it was disappointment that she put herself in what could have been a dangerous situation.

He was looking out for her as a friend. Not as a hopeful lover, but as a really great friend.

But that’s not why she hid in the room all night. She was embarrassed to face him. She didn’t want to see the pity in his eyes when he figured out why she thought he had come running to her rescue. She didn’t want to see the rejection that would always be on his face when it came to them being together.

She didn’t want to be reminded that she was alone in a cabin at a secluded resort with her best friend, with whom she had become completely infatuated. Who wanted to be reminded they were that pathetic?

“Why are you sorry?” she asked softly.

He pulled her tighter against him, and she wished that he had crawled under the blankets instead of remaining on top. She would have loved to be snuggled to him without the comforter in the way, to feel warmed by his body heat and not the blanket.

“I lied to you last night.” His voice dropped to a whisper with the confession.

Kennedy stilled, her breath catching in her throat. She waited for him to explain, her mind already going wild with what he could have possibly lied about.

“It wasn’t just because of your safety,” he said. “I was . . . upset and hurt that you would so easily go home with someone else when you were here with me.”

“Why would that upset you?” She was almost breathless. “Since when do you care who I go home with?”

“Because you’re here with
me
, Kennedy. And . . .” He paused, as if struggling to get the words out. “And it hurt that the only reason you kissed me is because Brooks was being an ass. You instantly regretted what happened between us, but you’ll hook up with a stranger.”

Kennedy licked her lips and swallowed, trying to coat her dry mouth. She had hurt Memphis? Here she was wallowing in self-pity because he had unintentionally stomped on her heart, yet she had done the same to him.

“Our kiss has nothing to do with it,” she told him.

“It has
everything
to do with it,” he said. “It’s the first time we’ve ever crossed that line, and the only reason you did was because of
him
.” His anger rose “I hate that, Kennedy.”

“Memphis—”

“Yeah, I know I sound like the whiny pussy girl who was used by the guy to make the ex jealous.” He cut her off before she could explain. “And if that’s what I have to sound like, then fine, I’m man enough to accept that. I don’t want Brooks to be the reason you throw yourself at me, Kennedy.”

“I’m sorry.”

Memphis sighed.

“It just upset me that you could regret a simple kiss with me, yet have no problem sleeping with that Alec dick.”

“Memphis?”

“Yeah?”

“You’re being the dick.”

He pulled his chest away from her back so he was looming over her, able to see her face.

“Excuse me?”

Kennedy rolled onto her back and stared up at him.

“You heard me,” she said. “You’re being the dick. What makes you think I
wanted
to sleep with Alec? Did I tell you that?”

“No. But you said if I hadn’t been able to come get you, you wouldn’t have had to spend the night in the truck.”

“You’re right, I did say that. But did I say anything about spending it in Alec’s bed?” He remained silent, and Kennedy huffed. “If you hadn’t been so eager to piss on me and mark your territory, you would have seen that there was nothing sexual between Alec and me. And the only reason he said the things he did was to provoke you,” she said, poking her finger at his chest for good measure.

“Why would he want to provoke me?” Memphis’s frown deepened. “He doesn’t even know me.”

“Maybe because he knows a jealous ass when he sees one,” she teased him.

A small smile appeared on his face. “So you wouldn’t have fucked him?”

“No. I wouldn’t have fucked him,” Kennedy assured him with a shake of her head. “I’m a little hurt you think I’m that person.”

His smile faded as he brushed the hair off her forehead.

“I don’t think you’re that person, Kennedy.”

“Obviously you do or else you wouldn’t have jumped to that conclusion.” 

“Obviously I just wasn’t thinking clearly. You were right when you said I overreacted.”

“Yes, you did.” Kennedy lowered her eyes to his chest and traced the neck of his T-shirt with her fingers.

“I don’t want our week to be like this. Can we just forget it and enjoy the rest of the time here?” Kennedy nodded. “Good. Get your ass out of bed, then and come watch the sun rise with me.”

“Do I get to drive the snow machine?” She grinned up at him.

“Snowmobile,” he corrected. “Not a chance.” He matched her grin with one of his own and jumped out of bed. “Dress warm.”

Was there any other option?

Twenty minutes later she followed Memphis to the building by the stables. A snowmobile was already out and waiting for them, left idling to warm the motor. Kennedy noticed a backpack resting by the machine and watched as Memphis scooped it up and handed it to her.

“What’s this?” She cautiously took the bag.

“It’s for later. Put it on so you don’t have to hold it.”

Kennedy slipped her arms through the straps and settled it on her back, feeling very much like a schoolgirl again. After she had the bag in place, Memphis handed her a black helmet and hopped on the machine, indicating she should do the same.

Carefully, Kennedy squeezed her head into the helmet—it was nothing like Ol’ Red, and she feared once she got it on she would never get it off. She slid the little visor down so it covered her face and straddled the seat behind Memphis.

He patted her leg, silently telling her to hold on. She wrapped her arms around him and gave his stomach a squeeze, signaling she was ready. She wondered if he had ever driven the powerful machine before, but figured it couldn’t be much different from a motorcycle.

Kennedy held tight as they shot forward, her stomach flipping with excitement as they rode toward the trail and through the trees. Snow flew around them, dusting their suits, as Memphis navigated them toward the lake. She watched the trees pass in almost a blur, each one blending in with the other.

They rode against the cold wind, and Kennedy shivered as it slipped beneath the collar of her jacket where her scarf had shifted and bit at her flesh. She pressed herself closer to Memphis—to block out the wind, she would later tell herself. 

Memphis slowed, and Kennedy peeked over his shoulder. The trees started clearing—they were not as thick as they had been back on the trail. The snowmobile’s lights shone ahead of them, and she could see they were approaching the lake.

Memphis stopped next to the shore and shut down the machine. He quickly hopped off and unzipped his jacket, revealing his camera tucked safely inside. He removed his helmet and set it on the seat, smiling down at Kennedy. He took the lens cap off the camera and fiddled with the settings before raising the expensive piece of equipment and focusing on the scenery.

Kennedy tugged the helmet off and slowly lowered it to her lap. She was awed at the beauty laid out in front of her. The sun was starting to wake up, shooting rays of red and gold light over the mountaintops on the other side of the lake. Kennedy didn’t have to look at the pictures Memphis was taking to know they would be beautiful. The mountains would be reflected in the water with their snowy peaks sparkling in the light.

She sat there and watched the sun’s edge peek over the great mass of rock in the distance, uncovering the forest from the blanket of darkness.

It was breathtaking, and unshed tears suddenly burned her eyes as she watched the beauty of a simple sunrise unfold in front of her. And in the middle of it all was the man who had made it possible for her to see.

Kennedy blinked back the tears and closed her eyes, tilting her face toward the sky. A slight wind blew snowflakes from the trees onto her face, causing them to melt as soon as they hit her skin. She smiled and gave into the childish impulsive to stick out her tongue and catch the cold, white flakes.

The sound of the camera flashing snapped her eyes open. Memphis stood a few feet away, pointing the camera at her and grinning.

“Tell me you didn’t take just take my picture.” She covered her face, mortified at being caught.

“I didn’t take your picture,” he said, his grin growing bigger.

“Tell me that and mean it.”

He laughed and closed the distance between them. Gently he swiped a wet spot off her nose where a flake had melted, and shook his head.

“Can’t do that,” he said, staring down at her as he brushed his fingers over her cheek.

Kennedy was lost in his blue eyes, unable to look away or say something clever as usual. He cupped her chin, skimming his thumb over her bottom lip. Kennedy inhaled sharply, her lips parting as she breathed in the cold Alaskan air. Memphis’s eyes dropped to her mouth at the sound, his thumb pausing in the soft caress.

Kennedy was afraid to swallow, much less move, in case it snapped him out of staring at her mouth like he wanted to take it and claim it as his. His stare made her entire body heat, and she feared she’d soon have to start stripping out of her parka and ski pants to cool down.

Or better yet, he could help her strip out of them.

She eyed his mouth as intensely as he looked at hers. Kennedy tried to remember their kiss but couldn’t think past anything at that moment.

She suddenly knew she was being watched, and when she lifted her eyes from his mouth, she almost gasped. If eyes ever really did smolder, that’s what Memphis’s were doing. They looked darker, smaller, glaring at her with so much heat she wouldn’t have to worry about stripping out of her clothes because they were about to melt right off her.

Kennedy unconsciously licked her lips, and he dropped his gaze for a split second back to her mouth. His nostrils flared as the tip of her tongue disappeared back into her mouth, and he snapped his eyes back to hers. She figured she was delusional when she swore she saw flames dance in his blue irises.

That didn’t stop her from letting out a faint whimper, though.

Memphis brought both hands up to cup her face and angled her head just a bit to the right. He slowly moved in closer, and Kennedy stopped breathing as she realized what he was about to do. Memphis was going to kiss her. He was going to cross that line all on his own without her having to ask him. His lips were going to mold themselves to hers, and she wouldn’t be able to lie about it later and say she asked him to do it because of Brooks. This kiss was going to be all about them.

And it scared her.

“I’m cold, Memphis,” she whispered before he could move another inch closer. She closed her eyes, cursing herself and regretting it as soon as the words were said.

She felt Memphis pull away, and a second later he dropped his hands from her face. She lowered her head as tears of frustration and anger threatened to roll down her cheeks.

Memphis cleared his throat and gently tugged the strap of the backpack that she still wore.

“Guess it’s a good thing I brought hot chocolate, huh?”

Kennedy darted her eyes to her shoulder where his hand held the strap, and up to his face, looking away again as she slid the backpack off. He smiled at her, but she could tell it was forced. She knew without having to ask that Memphis felt just as uncomfortable with what happened as she did.

“You do think of everything,” she said, hoping to lighten the mood.

His forced smile stayed in place as he dug out the thermos of hot chocolate and two plastic cups. Kennedy held the cups in her shaky hands as he poured.

She waited until he had capped the thermos again before handing him his cup. Their fingers brushed, and she almost dropped it before he had a chance to grip the plastic. She pulled her hand back and wrapped both around her cup, keeping her eyes down as she blew on the hot liquid before taking a sip.

Uncomfortable silence fell around them as they distracted themselves with drinking and looking at the scenery. Finally, Kennedy couldn’t take it anymore.

“Did you get all the pictures you wanted?” It might not have been the best conversation starter but at least she was trying, right?

Memphis tossed the rest of his hot chocolate on the ground, and Kennedy watched as a splattered design of brown covered the pristine white snow. She frowned as he threw the cup into the backpack.

“While you finish up I’m just going to take a few more,” he said and stalked off.

Kennedy watched him go, her eyes following him as he stood by the lake and aimed the camera at the mountains in the distance. He then turned his attention to the trees and caught something she couldn’t see from her perch on the snowmobile.

She smiled, thinking how much she loved to watch him work. He was so at peace out there. So involved in his work and in his element, lost in what he was doing. No man had ever looked as attractive to her as Memphis did in that moment. So then why, when she wanted him so much, did she freak when he went to make his move? She wanted it. She wanted nothing more than to have Memphis claim her body and mind in whatever way he craved. But when it came down to it, she froze.