Road to Reason (14 page)

That was close, too close really. Ryan was positive she was going to slither on top of him without the condom, as lost as she was in her own passion.  He couldn’t blame her—he was pretty far gone himself. 

He dropped his hands from her breasts, urging her forward on her hands a bit so that he could reach her with his mouth. 

She growled low in her throat when he pulled her over-sensitized nipple between his lips and began sucking.  She seemed to struggle with a pace, so he placed his hands on her hips and helped her find a rhythm. 

She caught on fast and was extremely enthusiastic in her motions, riding him as if there was nothing else better in the world to her right now.

When he felt her start to tighten around him and knew she was close, he bit down with just enough pressure to mix pain with her pleasure. Her muscles tightened around him even more. He heard her shout, forcing his own hips to pump feverishly toward fulfillment.

She collapsed on top of him, breathing heavily. Her hands stroking up and down his arms automatically, most likely not even aware of what she was doing. He felt her snuggle in closer, but he put his hands on her hips to help ease her up. “Sorry, I need to take care of the condom.”

“Huh? Oh, OK,” she said, the moment of contentment lost from her eyes, he saw.

He came back out of her bathroom and found her dressed in shorts and a shirt.  “I’ll go get dinner started while you get dressed.”

“Come here,” he said, reaching for her, placing his arms around her and holding her close. He rubbed his hands up and down her back, then leaned down and placed his lips on hers, continuing to hold her until he heard her sigh, then felt her ease into him. 

She broke the kiss first and laid her head on his chest, wrapping her arms around him for a brief hug, then smiled. “Guess spontaneous is our word of the day.”

Kaitlin was trying to concentrate on the investment report in front of her, but her mind kept wandering.  She hadn’t seen Ryan in four days, not since she left his house Sunday afternoon. It had been such a good weekend and she hated that she put a sour note on it.  But she couldn’t help how she felt.

Sunday morning they were relaxing on the plush sectional spread out on his deck, gazing at the lake. Just enjoying the quiet with each other.  The night before had been pretty special, at least for her. She liked trying new positions, but they were probably all old boring ones for him.

But the following morning he had pulled her close on the comfortable patio furniture, tucking her head under his arm, and was absently caressing her thigh. 

She was wearing one of his T-shirts again. She found she enjoyed sleeping in them.  She figured he didn’t mind since he always tossed her one of his shirts when they were done having sex.

With his hand running lazy circles high on her thigh, her eyes were closed while she enjoyed the sounds of the birds chirping, the water lapping on the beach, and the boat rocking against the deck. All the noises she grew up listening to through her bedroom window on that same lake. 

She sighed deeply, his fingers moving upward under the hem of his shirt that had only been resting mid-thigh to begin with.

Unconsciously she uncrossed her legs when his fingertips made their way closer to her inner thigh, sending tingling sensations coursing through her.  She felt herself being lifted and positioned between his spread legs.  She tilted her head to the side when his lips grazed her ear, then moved down her neck.

The closer his hands moved to her overheated core, the more she found herself arching her back into him. She hadn’t been able to stop the contented sigh escaping from her throat when she felt how effected he was against her lower back. His other hand slid up under the shirt to cup her breast, his fingers that were on her thigh, now slipping under the edge of her panties.

She shifted her hips more, gave him better access and he slid one finger inside of her. Her hands went to his thighs, gripping him tight while he continued to tease her.  He moved that single digit in and out of her in slow motion, drawing out each stroke of pleasure to its fullest.

“Tell me what you want,” he whispered against her ear.

“You. I want you inside of me.” She gasped when he slid in deeper finding just the right spot.

“I am inside of you,” he replied hoarsely.

“I want more.” She spread her legs further apart for him, then he slid a second finger inside of her.  “Oh that feels good. But that’s not what I meant.” He was relentlessly bringing her to the edge.

“Tell me then.”

The breath against her cheek was just another erotic sensation, but she couldn’t tell him, it was too embarrassing.  Instead she felt the blush moving her up neck. Rather than speak, she reached behind her back and grabbed him through his shorts. “This. I want this inside of me. Now.”

She managed to shock him, she knew. He wanted to hear her say it, but she got her point across just as fast with her actions.  “Give me a minute,” he said and started to move her to the side.

But she grabbed his hand before he could fully remove it from inside of her, continuing to grip his thigh with her other hand. “Don’t you dare stop,” she demanded of him.

He chuckled and resumed his torture of her, moving his fingers slow and then fast, finding the right rhythm. He brought her right to the point of ecstasy and then stopped, making her scream in frustration.  Until finally he slid his thumb up and over her pulsating bud, gave her a few rubs while his fingers pumped in and out.

She finally cried out her release, her body shaking uncontrollably at the speed and depth of what just happened. 

Once her panting gave way to more controlled breathing, he picked her up and carried her to his room where he gave her what she had originally asked for.

He walked out of his bathroom just as she was climbing out of bed reaching for his shirt on the floor.  “What’s the rush?” he asked and climbed back in bed, pulling her partially on top of him.

She loved to snuggle up with him afterward and hated that he got up so fast to dispose of the condom. But understood the need to do it. 

Unfortunately once he returned, the urge to hold him was gone. The moment had passed. And she hated that, too. Without thought she blurted out, “I’m on the pill.”

“That’s good,” he replied back.

She let out of huff. Why couldn’t he ever seem to understand what she was saying unless she spelled it out? She thought he was smart when it came to all this stuff. “How about not using condoms?” she said instead.

He froze for a second.  “Are you having a problem with the condoms? A reaction of some type?”

“No.”

He frowned. “Then why don’t you want to use them?”

“Never mind, it’s not important,” she said in a rush.

He put his hand under her chin, lifted her head up and forced her to look him in the eye. “It is important or you wouldn’t have brought it up.  So tell me why.”

She looked around the room, trying to figure out what to say, or hoping he would let it go, but he only continued to stare at her face, finally giving her chin a firmer squeeze. “It just ruins it, you know?” she blurted out.

“Ruins what? I don’t know. Don’t you enjoy sex? That isn’t the impression I got a few minutes ago,” he said with a laugh, trying to tease her.

“Of course I enjoy it.  I think half the lake heard me a few minutes ago.” She grinned sweetly at him.  “But that isn’t what I meant. Again, no worries. Just forget it,” she said pulling her chin out of his grasp and laying her head back on his chest.

“No, I’m not going to forget it. Just tell me, Kaitlin. What does it ruin then?”

“The moment. And I feel like an idiot.  Just ignore me. Forget I even brought it up.” Now she was even more embarrassed. He probably thought she was some child who needed to be coddled afterwards.  Who knows, maybe she was. It was all still so new to her.

She saw the light dawn on his face, that it was all starting to make sense to him.  Every time they had finished having sex she wanted to stay close to him, hold him. Cuddle, for lack of better word.  He always seemed fine with it, but once he returned from the bathroom she was ready to move on, and half the time was already dressed.  He even made a funny remark about it one day.

“Kaitlin, I’ve been with quite a few people,” he said slowly.

She knew that and was trying to think past it. “I know, I understand.”

“I’ve always used protection. I’ve even been tested a few times, just in case.” He frowned. “I’ve never been careless, but you just don’t know the rules. It’s the way it is.  Most people, or at least intelligent people, protect themselves when having sex.”

She knew he could tell she was feeling anxious at the moment, fidgeting and trying to pull away from him, so he finally said,  “Let me think about it, OK? It’s a big step.”

“I’m sorry. Again, just forget it.  It’s fine.  I don’t want to put pressure on you. I wasn’t trying to make you take any steps you didn’t feel comfortable with.”

“Let me think about it,” he repeated.

***

So here she was four days later. They talked each night; she knew he was busy, between cases and planning the final details of Jack and Cori’s wedding. She hadn’t seen him since that awkward conversation and was worried that she’d pushed him away.  That maybe she ended up smothering him after all.

Well, if he was going to end things, she guessed it was better now than later, when she got even more attached to him. Because she was becoming addicted to him lately.  Or maybe it was just the sex.  No, it was him.  And the sex.

The knock at her door brought her out of her thoughts. Turning, she saw her father standing there looking at her.

“Everything OK, Kaitlin? You’ve been pretty distracted this week?” William asked. 

“I’m fine, just losing focus in these reports.”

“I know work is a lot slower paced here than it was when you were in Manhattan. Are you regretting moving back home?”

“No, not at all. I got the experience I needed.  I like this pace just fine. I like being able to come and go and not work sixty-plus hours a week trying to get ahead of the next person. I have no regrets, Dad,” she said gently. “Don’t ever worry about that.”

“That’s good. How are things with Ryan?” he asked.

“Good.  He’s been busy this week between court, his cases and Jack’s wedding. I was there this weekend, but we haven’t had much time together this week.”

He looked at her more seriously. “Just be careful.”

“I don’t need everyone to keep warning me about him. I know what I’m doing,” she said with a frown. At least she thought she did.

“I know you do.  But I still worry.  Worry for both of you.  Ryan isn’t what everyone says he is.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means he isn’t as laid back about women as he wants everyone to believe.  I think he hasn’t found what he’s been looking for yet.”

“I don’t know about that,” she said, laughing. “But I’m pretty sure I’m not his type in the long run. Either way, we are just enjoying each other right now. One day at a time.  Don’t worry about us.”

Her cell phone rang before he could say another word. She reached into her purse and saw Ryan’s name flash across the screen. “Speak of the devil.”

“I’ll let you go then.” He walked to the door mumbling to himself. “Damn it, I didn’t get much more than Thomas did.”

Kaitlin frowned, was going to ask him to repeat that, then waved him away and answered the call. “Hi,” she said happily into the phone.

“Are you busy?”

“No, I was just talking to my father, but he went back to his office. He was mumbling about something on the way out, not sure what though,” she said, shaking her head.  “What’s up?”

“I know this is short notice, but can you take tomorrow off?  I heard back from the private investigator and he located one of the ex-girlfriends on the Fremont case. It seems she’s a waitress at a restaurant in Manhattan. I thought maybe you wouldn’t mind taking a little trip with me.  We could leave late tomorrow morning. She works the day shift, so I thought we could stop in after the lunch crowd and see if I can get her to talk to me since she won’t return my calls.  Maybe we could get a hotel room, spend the night, come home Saturday afternoon?  How’s that sound—part work, part pleasure?”

“That sounds great.  Maybe, if you don’t mind, we can meet up with Sophia? I can introduce you to my best friend since I’ve met some of your friends?”

“That sounds wonderful.  I’ll pick you up at work tomorrow around eleven and we will leave from there.  I’ve got to run now and rearrange a few things before we leave. I’ll call you later tonight.”

“Bye.” Kaitlin hung up the phone feeling giddy.  Before she could call Sophia, her father walked by her office again and stopped in.  “Is it okay if I leave early tomorrow?” she asked him.

“Of course it is. You don’t have to ask. Kaitlin, this firm is as much yours as it is mine,” he explained.

She was shocked to hear him say that. “I work for you.”

“In a way. I always expected that you would take over someday. When you’re ready,” he rushed out. “I’m not trying to put any pressure on you.”

“Oh.  You know I would love that, but I didn’t expect that you were going anywhere anytime soon.”

“I’m not. My point is, you can come and go as you please.”

“Thanks, Dad.  I’m going to Manhattan with Ryan tomorrow. Something he needs to do for a case and he asked if I wanted to go with him. I’m going to try to meet up with Sophia if we can.”

“That sounds fun. I’m curious to see what Sophia thinks of Ryan,” he said with a grin.

“She won’t have any problem with him. Matter of fact, Ryan is exactly her type. Though you know she would love it if you and Mom visited, too. She always loves spending time with you and Alec, Ben and Phil.”

“Well, tell her we said hello and that she needs to come visit us, since we don’t have any reason to go to Manhattan with you home now.”

“I’ll tell her. And I need to finish up everything I can, then go home to pack.”
              “I’ll let you get back to work.” He looked at his watch. “I’ve got a phone call to make,” he said with a chuckle.