Rock Me Slowly (7 page)

We have another stop for a couple of hours and a group decision is made to go to the mall for an afternoon of shopping. Josh dragged his damn heels over this decision too. Who knows what is wrong with that man, blowing hot and cold all the time now. He doesn’t want to spend the time talking to me unless he’s turning up the flirting, but then he doesn’t want the others to have a good time with me either. I shake my head; the boy fucks with my head plenty.

We head into the mall, excited to be off the bus for a while. I stay close by Tanner and Blaine. Tanner puts his arm round my shoulder and keeps me close, almost protectively. I feel comfortable and at ease around Tanner. I can talk to him easily and don’t have to take a step back to work out if he is trying to fuck with my head. No, interaction with Tanner is so easy it’s effortless.

Josh storms off into a music store. I must say his theatrics are pretty impressive. We agreed to meet at the entrance to the mall in approximately an hour, so I wander the mall with Tanner and Blaine. They help me pick out outfits and shoes to add to my ever expanding collection.

Blaine really cracks me up. We are in Victoria’s secret and every hot blonde that walks past him has his tongue hanging out of his mouth. I stare at him incredulously. “What? She was damn hot. You can’t expect me to come into a lingerie store and not check out the goods.” He motions to his chest making a rude gesture with his hands indicating the woman’s chest that just walked past. He points his thumb in the direction of the blonde for Tanners benefit.

“Nice.” Tanner whistles appreciatively. I glance over at the drummer and shake my head, the guy is a sight. He has placed one of the blue bras on over his shirt and stuck a thong on. He is prancing around in the undergarments like a damn fool. He has attracted quite the audience due to his antics. He bends over in a mock gesture of seduction and grabs his ass whilst pouting. He flutters his eyelashes and whispers hoarsely, “does my ass look big in this?” Blaine is in fits and I have to admit Tanner is pretty damn funny.

Security is instantly at our side and Tanner quickly whips off his underwear and throws them in the security guards face. We make a run for it. I soon catch up with Tanner and Blaine and we walk down towards the mall entrance to meet with Mickey, Zack and Josh.

Before we are able to get further than a few yards in front of us we become accosted with female fans. They are screaming at the top of their voices for autographs and photos with Blaine and Tanner. I actually can’t believe how these fans are getting right in the boys faces. Give them a little breathing room!

One fan gets right up in Tanners personal space. The little brunette shoves a piece of paper and a pen right into his face. Who in the hell does she think she is? “Sign your autograph Tanner. I love you Tanner, I want your babies.” Woaw there lady, getting a bit personal there aren’t we?

Tanner and Blaine exchange looks obviously creeped out by the forward fan. I can see the other boys making their way towards us but I know in this instant I have to try and diffuse the situation quickly.

“Look love, don’t you think that’s a little unnecessary. Tanner really doesn’t want to hear that kind of thing, ok. He will sign his autograph for you if you can control yourself for a few minutes.” I nod at Tanner to just sign it so we can get on our way.

“And who the fuck are you? I’ve never seen you before and I follow everything about Buried Alive. Who the hell are you?” The little bitch gets right up in my face. She is damn feral. Well, she can back the fuck off of me. I have to think on my feet.

“I’m Tanners girlfriend. I don’t appreciate you getting up in either my face or Tanners personal space so I suggest you take your autograph and back the hell away. If you don’t I will personally have security move your psychotic little ass off the premises.” She tosses her hair over her shoulder and storms off. That will teach her!

We are joined by the other boys and they exchange puzzled glances with Tanner and Blaine. I throw Tanner a sweet smile silently letting him know I’ve got his back. He returns my smile and wraps me up in a bear hug.

Josh watches intently, a puzzled expression plastered across his features. “What’s going on here, Blaine?”

“A fan got a little too personal with Tanner. She was telling Tanner she wanted his babies. Our hero here jumped to Tanners aid and told the little groupie that she was his girlfriend. She really stood up to her. I’m proud of her; she’s turning into one of us.” Blaine rewards me with a hug of his own. I was only protecting the boys. I won’t have someone trying to get their pound of flesh. Josh simply nods his head but you can see he is in deep thought. Josh won’t look me in the eyes. Suppose I can’t please everyone.

We all make our way back to the bus before we are accosted some more by the fans. Never a dull moment in the presence of Buried Alive.

*****

Two nights later things change, but not for the better.

I head into the bathroom and start pouring hot water into the luxurious tub and add my lavender oil to the mix. It’s unbelievable how hot and sweaty it can get on a bus full of guys. They like to treat themselves to a couple of showers every day. The tub is full of bubbles and steamy hot water so I start to rid my body of my clothing. I always treasure this time of night when I get the opportunity to wash away the stresses of my job and the day in general. I didn’t realise just how tiring this job would become. I’m constantly on the go from actually styling the guys outfits to taking measurements of them. I don’t really have a minute to myself. Oh and to top it all off every time I have to work with the boys they seem to find it impossible to keep their damn hands to themselves. Usually this would have me wanting to rip their balls off of their bodies, but for some reason the vibe here is very different. It feels more like a family.

A family yes, until I come to think of Josh. There is no way the feelings I have toward Josh could constitute anything closely resembling a family connection. There’s something about him, it’s almost like I can see through to his soul. I know there’s something deeper to him but what that is I can’t fathom. I want to know him better; I want to know his deepest, darkest secrets, what makes Josh, Josh?

I shake myself out of my day dream and realise I’m still standing in the middle of the bathroom completely naked. I step into the tub and relax down into the hot water and relax, rinsing all my cares away. I’m momentarily interrupted by a soft knock on the door.

God can’t a girl have any privacy around here at all?

This happens every fucking night, if it’s not Blaine needing to have a slash its Josh using the excuse he needs one just so that he can stare unashamedly at my naked body.

“Come in and you had better make it quick. I’m not here to be ogled at every night.” I really hope the novelty wears off soon for them. It’s not as if they haven’t seen a naked girl before, in fact I could place a bet that they have seen hundreds between them all.

“Sorry Sophie I really didn’t mean to disturb you. I can come back later when you are finished if you like.” Tanner says with a stagger and his eyes are glazed over. I haven’t really had many dealings with Tanner yet but I would say that boy needs help; I have barely seen him sober the last week I have been here. He constantly has a beer attached to his hand or something stronger and I really worry for him. Surely with this tour it’s only bound to get worse for him? He will have more access to drink and drugs and I worry that he has an addictive personality. I really hope the guys look after him better.

“No Tanner come on in, do you have business to take care of?” Even if he doesn’t I will happily sit here and chat with him. I think Tanner has some inner demons that he has never exorcised and turns to alcohol to help him deal, maybe he just needs a friend that isn’t essentially a band member. I just want to help him.

“No Sophie I just had to get out of there for a few minutes. Would you mind if I just sat on the floor here for a while and chatted with you?” The look on his face has me nearly in tears. The poor guy is so hurt but he doesn’t seem to open up to the others. If I can be a supportive friend to him then I will.

“Tanner what’s going on with you, huh?” I want him to tell me, there has to be a reason why he drinks so much and parties all the time. I’ve had the opportunity to examine a few photographs that have been in the tabloids online. In every photo that was at my disposal, Tanner has not been sober in one of them. Why is that? It’s more than having a good time anyway.

“Nothing Sophie I’m just enjoying myself, you only live once after all.” His eyes are in a faraway place. He isn’t in this room with me; he is somewhere else, perhaps back to a time when he was hurt.

“Cut the crap Tanner it’s me you’re talking to. The guys might let you off with it but I sure as hell won’t. Whether you believe it or not I care about you, I care what happens to you and if you carry on with this self-destructive behaviour it’s going to finish you. Tanner, you will end up in a box six feet under. Tell me, is that what you want?” I honestly didn’t mean to be so hard on him but hell the guy looks a mess. Tough love and all that.

“Sophie you would never believe what’s gone on in my past and neither would I want anyone to have to listen to it. Only I should have to live with what’s gone on and my guilt is my punishment. Please leave it, just be my friend. Please?” Tanner has tears welling up but quickly swipes them away with his tattooed hand. Just the look on his face has my heart breaking into a thousand pieces. Why won’t he take my help? I can just see the worst thing happening to that boy and there’s not a damn thing I can do about it.

“Oh, Tanner what the hell am I going to do with you?” With that said Tanner gets up off the floor and walks over to the side of the tub and wraps me up in a breath taking hug, I can feel every ounce of pain that he is suffering. If he would just talk to me then we could work some way out of it between the two of us. My heart hurts for him.

“Sophie don’t say anything to the guys they think I am just a hard-core party goer. I’m fine don’t worry about me.” And before I have time to process his words he is gone back to chill out with the lads.

Just as Tanner has disappeared I start to relax again. I hear the bathroom door close slowly and the lock being put on the catch. I turn around and see Josh smiling at me with one of his heart stopping smiles. It takes me a moment before I can catch my breath at his rugged handsomeness.

“Sorry baby had to come in and take a slash you know how it is.” Oh I know how it is alright. Every night he comes in here to take a piss just when I happen to be in the tub. I’m just about to speak to him when he undoes his fly and pulls out his cock. He usually does that discreetly whilst I’m in the bath but no, this time he doesn’t feel the need to hide it. I’m pretty sure that my expression speaks for itself.

My mouth is wide open and I’m pretty sure I’m drooling at the sight of his love gun. He is freaking massive and I really don’t know how the hell that is going to fit inside anything. I swallow back my surprise. He holds it with such a fierce possessiveness. I know in this instant that he knows exactly what he is doing in the bedroom department. I can’t stop staring at his cock, I find myself licking my lips in anticipation at how good that would feel inside of me. I’m also drawn to his lips and find myself wondering what it would be like to kiss him, to run my hands through his silky hair. I want to run my hands over every inch of his beautiful tattoos.

Sophie, pull yourself together now, come on.

“Awww baby if you really wanna test the goods you know where the heck I’m at.” Just that comment alone has doused my arousal for him. Why the heck does he have to make it sound so crude? I have strong feelings for him yet he always has to go ahead and cheapen the moment. He looks at me with such lust and then bang he is back to being the cocky, arrogant Josh again.

“For crying out loud Josh why the hell do you do that every time. Just when I think we are getting along just fine you have to go and ruin it all to hell!” That is the second time in two days that I have raised my voice to Josh, something I don’t do very often. Josh just seems to make me more passionate and angry. I’m not sure which annoys me more.

“Oh Sophie I’m sorry, please don’t be angry with me. Look, what can I do to make it up to you? Do you want a drink?” Bless him, he really doesn’t like to get me worked up and upset. It’s one of the things I love about him. Wait, did I just say love him? Crap.

“No I don’t want a drink Josh.” No, definitely not, there is far too much drinking going on about here.

“I know, I will wash your hair for you. It will relax you baby. Let me do this for you, okay?” I hope he manages to do this small task without trying to make it sexual. Although I don’t really want him to touch me because I just know that it will awaken the sexual desire that I feel for him again. I just can’t seem to control it at all and it is starting to overrule me now.

“Okay Josh you can wash my hair but I mean it, none of your funny shit otherwise I will put a stop to it right away, got it?”

“Would I?” Yes you bloody well would. Any excuse with Josh just to touch me. His touch just seems to send an electric current running throughout my body; it puts every nerve ending onto red alert. I have never had a man affect me like that, it’s frightening.

“Yes mister I think you would.” He smiles his gorgeous smile once again and I can almost feel my heart stop for a moment. Why does he keep doing this to me? That smile alone could get my panties off.

“Okay beautiful just lie back and relax.” And I do. I close my eyes and drift with the soothing feel of the showerhead spraying warm water all over my head. This is what I have been needing. My stress levels have been hitting the roof the last few days. Mainly because the guy’s first gig is tomorrow night and I have been working pretty much non-stop. It’s been hard going but I think it’s all taken care of now.

“Just going to put in the shampoo now gorgeous.” The endearment isn’t lost on me; he can actually be very sweet when he wants to be. As Josh massages the shampoo into my hair I can’t help but let out a small guttural moan. Josh halts his hands mid massage and I wonder what I have done to stop his ministrations.