Rock My World (13 page)

He needed an
outlet to relieve the tension, so he turned and punched the first thing in
reach, which turned out to be a brick wall. The searing pain shocked him back
to his more rational self, regret following quickly behind.
Ouch!
He shook his hand out, flexing his
fingers to make sure it wasn’t broken.

These
outbursts were becoming more frequent and he knew, soon enough, he would end up
doing something he couldn’t take back. He needed to fix his issues with the
label and get
Airika
out of his life in order to save
his marriage, but as it stood, he could see just one way out of either
situation: suck it up and finish the tour. By the end of the tour though, he
may not have a marriage to save.

***

He tried
Jenna’s cell one more time, knowing that, like the last fifty calls, he would
be sent straight to voicemail, just wanting to hear her voice. Before he could
dial he saw a missed call from Felicity.

“Hey
Cic
,” he said when she picked up. “What’s up, kiddo?”

“Dad! Are
you okay? What’s going on with you and Mom?”

“I’m fine.
Everything’s fine. Don’t worry.”

She paused.
Not him too
, she fumed. No one trusted
her with the truth.

“How’s
school going?”

“Fine,” she
said through clenched teeth.

“Hey, I had
an interview with your friend’s aunt the other day,” he said, trying to lighten
the mood.

“Really,
which friend?” She asked, narrowing her eyes.

“Sadie? I
think that was her name,” he said.

Her jaw dropped.

“Hey kid, I
gotta
go now. Call you later?” He saw Simon heading his way
and didn’t want her to overhear their conversation. She and Jenna thought Simon
would walk over hot coals for him and he didn’t want to give her more to worry
about. She didn’t respond, but he hung up without noticing.
 

 
He dropped the phone to his side just in
time for Simon’s mouth to start running. The pep talk consisted, as usual, of
shitty options doused in sweet honey.
A way to make more
money (and sell his soul).
To be more successful (and
further alienate the fans who’d stuck by him).
To
reach new fans (thereby rendering the die-hards unnecessary).
Blah, blah, blah.

Alex
wanted to scream. Instead, he forced himself to say, “I’m not interested in
doubling down. I’m interested in making music. I took a loan; I’ll pay it back.
End of story.” They stood, staring each other down.

For the
first time, maybe ever, Alex was happy to hear
Airika’s
voice over his shoulder. Simon looked away first. Alex turned toward his
dressing room, trying to regain his composure before he had to be ‘on’ for the
cameras. Wishing he were anywhere else, he decided to man up, reminding himself
this was for his family and the only proactive step he could take toward
getting out from under the weight of his contract. He suddenly yearned for the
days of arguing with a club owner trying to scam him out of $20 off the door.

Chapter
22

“Hmmm,” Zach
said, walking around the photo, seeing it from different angles. He nodded,
smiling, Jenna’s job list in hand. They sat in companionable silence in the
living room, glowing embers of last night’s fire keeping them warm. Jenna’s
blown up photo sat framed and propped up on the mantle.
 
Jenna smiled her first joyful smile
since she’d left her husband.

“You like?“
She thought it was good, but she was no expert.

“
Mmmhmm
… Definitely,” he said, standing up to get a closer
look. “Can I show this to someone?” She raised her eyebrows, waiting for him to
go on. “A portrait photographer. Mostly shoots pro athletes. She’s been looking
for an assistant,” he said.

Jenna wanted to shout a resounding
Yes!
but
her
old friend, Insecurity, sat squarely on her voice box, stopping her. Just
because she took a lucky shot didn’t mean she knew anything about photography.
Nor was she a sports enthusiast. Why would a real photographer want her? She’d
just get in the way.

“Hey, I know
it’s not a glamorous job, but you’ve
gotta
start
somewhere.”

“No, that’s
not it,” she said quickly, seeing his injured expression. “I’m just worried she
won’t want
me
. I don’t have anything
to offer.” The joy she’d felt earlier was usurped by the demeaning voices in
her head. She stared down at her coffee, fiddling with the lid.

He smiled.
“That’s the point of an internship. You go in not knowing what you’re doing and
learn on the job. For shit pay, or none at all.”

Well, when he put it like that …

“And you
do
have something to offer.
A lot, actually.
Look at
these.” He said, thumbing through the other photos in the sleeve. When he came
across one of himself he paused, holding it up so she could see it.
Crap!
She forgot to take those out.

“When was
this?” He asked. She felt her cheeks heat up.

“The summer
after my sophomore year,” she said, in what she hoped was a casual tone.

“Look at
us,” he said, flipping through the images of them jumping off the pier into the
lake. There were shots of everyone, but in all the shots of him, he was
shirtless. After a couple of family shots there was one of him pulling himself
up the ladder, dripping wet. She blushed and looked away. “God, I look so
young!” His eyes glazed over with nostalgia.

She was glad that’s all he noticed. Her stomach
did a little flip, remembering her crush on him and how much she liked him wet
and shirtless. The image of The Rabbit flashed again in her mind and she
struggled not to give away her embarrassment.

His face
fell and he got quiet.

“What?” She
asked, then remembered and felt awful.

“That was
the last trip we ever took as a family.” He said it so matter-of-factly. That
was the summer before his mom left the family and his dad lost his medical
practice. How self-absorbed to think his mood had anything to do with her.
Apparently, she could check detective off her list of potential careers.

“I didn’t
mean to bring all this up for you. I’m so sorry … ” her voice trailed off.

“It’s not
your fault. Can I keep this?” He held up a shot of he,
Airika
and their parents smiling, bare feet dangling off the edge of the pier.

She nodded.

***

When Jenna finally worked up the nerve to call,
Noelle, a lovely sounding woman with the hint of a French accent, invited her
to shadow a shoot at her cabin the following day. Jenna was a ball of nerves,
hardly sleeping through the night.

Not only wasn’t she qualified to be a photographer
(or assistant), she was unqualified to be an employee, period. Teenagers had
more work experience than she did. Maybe she should call and cancel. No, she
couldn’t make a fool of Zach.

***

Waking up, the cold morning was clear and
beautiful, and a fresh blanket of snow sparkled in the sunlight. She layered
up, opting for dark fitted jeans, with a silk thermal top under a cashmere wrap.
Then she thought better, and added the puffy jacket. She couldn’t bring herself
to don the clunky snow boots in front of a photographer, instead opting for
high-heeled suede boots.

The five
minute walk along the slippery bike path to the address she’d been given had
her slipping and sliding, feeling more and more foolish about her shoe choice.
As she struggled up the steep driveway, the enormous home looming above her,
she questioned whether she was in the right place. To call it a cabin would be
like calling Mt. Everest a big hill.
 
Huge pine logs graced the façade of a three-story mountain castle,
complete with a stone turret on one side. Opulent without being gaudy, it
resembled a hotel more than a home.

Before Jenna
could change her mind and back (or slip) down the driveway, a white-haired
woman opened the front door, waving her inside. At just under five feet tall,
Noelle’s child-size frame was juxtaposed by a chic blend of
designer-meets-mountain wear.

“Bonjour!
You must be Jenna. I’m so glad you found the place! You came highly
recommended. From what I saw of your work, you’ve got a real natural talent!”
Noelle’s enthusiasm calmed Jenna’s nerves enough to follow her inside.

“How do you
know our boy, Zach?”

Jenna didn’t
have a chance to answer before Noelle continued, “I’ve known that boy for five
years now and hardly heard him speak more than two sentences until the other
day when he told me about you.” There was a mischievous twinkle in her eye.

“We grew up
together,” Jenna said, hoping to avoid getting too personal.

“
Oohh
,” Noelle said, dragging the word out. “So were you
high school sweethearts?”

“No,
actually I married his best friend.” Jenna realized her mistake but it was too
late.

 
“So…are you still married now?”

“Yes,” Jenna
replied. She didn’t want to think about the state of her marriage. Noelle
either sensed Jenna’s discomfort, or got bored with the topic, thankfully
dropping it.

“Follow me.
The studio is upstairs.”

Jenna followed her, amazed at this tiny woman’s
rapid pace. When they got to the top, the breathtaking view paralyzed her. The
immense south wall, which could have added a fourth story, was instead covered
in floor to ceiling windows, revealing a mesmerizing panorama of the lake and
mountains. She had to force her eyes to look around the rest of the room.

On the opposite wall stood a twenty-foot wide
seamless white paper backdrop, hanging from a roller on the wall, spilling onto
the floor. There were two big lights on stands set up with light boxes. Jenna
recognized the studio setup from her modeling days. She took comfort in the
familiarity of being on set, and tried to keep the terror of failure at bay.

“Over here,”
said Noelle.

“Where are
y-?” Jenna asked.

“In the
closet.”

The closet
was the size of Jenna’s living room at home. The only thing remotely resembling
a normal closet was the shelving system covering three walls. Each shelf was
packed with
oversized
chachkes
and
mismatched boxes. At first glance it looked like an antique store disemboweled.
Slowly, her eyes adjusted to the chaos, revealing a surprisingly sophisticated
labeling system, albeit highly personalized.

 
Jenna read the labels on the first shelf:
“Birth Props”, “Snowshoes from the 1900’s” and “Faux Taxidermy: Regional Animals”
handwritten on color-coded stickers. Her eyes lingered and she must have made a
face.

“I’m vegan,”
Noelle said, as though that were clarification enough.
 
She continued searching for whatever it
was she’d come looking for in the first place. “Aha!” She said, holding up a small
blue hatbox.

“Can I
help?” Jenna asked, not sure she could. Noelle headed out of the closet and
gestured for Jenna to follow. Jenna obeyed, walking back to the backdrop side
of the studio.
 
Noelle unhooked a
rope ladder from the wall, which Jenna hadn’t noticed before and looked up to
see theater-type scaffolding running the length of the room, just wide enough
for one person to crawl out on. Noelle deftly scaled the ladder, then reached
her hands out to Jenna.

“Hand that
to me,” she said, adjusting knobs and light discs. She twisted a large light,
angling it down toward the back of the room. “How do you feel about heights? I
should have asked before.”

“F-fine,” Jenna said, handing up the box. Jenna
didn’t fear heights in general, but she was concerned about what she might have
to do up there.

“Good. I’ll
need you up here sprinkling snow for at least part of the shoot today.”

Jenna breathed a sigh of relief. Then she noticed
the box’s label read “Snow: Flakes (Large).”
See, nothing to worry about
, she told herself.

Noelle
descended the ladder, explaining the concept for the shoot. By the time the
stylist and make-up artist arrived, Jenna began to enjoy herself.

And by the
time the model—a professional snowboarder—arrived, Jenna had
already made herself useful. She helped move lights, set up props, and watched
as Noelle directed each person on set, choreographing the day. Noelle talked
non-stop, interrupting herself frequently to interject camera and lighting
tips. She was so passionate, and Jenna couldn’t help feeling awed, and a little
jealous.

The shoot
was for a book cover: memoirs of an X-Games champion. A couple of burly
unshaven men lugged a full-sized chairlift up to the studio, hanging it from
the scaffolding above. The complexity of the set astounded her. Jenna was in
charge of the snow falling in the first setup. She hoped she didn’t embarrass
herself, or plummet to the ground from her perch. When choosing her footwear
for the day, she clearly hadn’t the foggiest idea what she’d be in for.