Rock Your Heart Out (Sinful Serenade #3) (30 page)

I can't watch them destroy something this important to them and pretend it's about protecting me.

I swallow hard. Here goes nothing. "No."

Drew looks at me. "Excuse me?"

"This isn't something Tom did wrong. He's been honest with me. He's always treated me well. He's not like Bradley. He'd never hurt me that way. Everything we did, I wanted. I asked for."

This does nothing to calm Drew. Instead, his temper flares. He rolls his fists, his glare turned up to eleven.

Men, they don't listen to reason sometimes.

I continue. "I'm an adult, Drew. I can decide who I fuck. You don't have the right to threaten a guy for sleeping with me."

Drew glares at Tom. He turns and stalks out of the room.

There are muffled questions in the main room. The front door slams shut.

Okay. Drew is pissed. Business as usual.

Only he caught me and Tom with our pants down.

Not as normal.

"He's been on edge lately. There's no excuse but—" Kara shakes her head. "I'll talk to him."

"No." I pull my towel tighter. "This is between me and Drew."

She looks at Tom with accusation in her eyes. "Pretty sure it's more involved than that."

"Maybe. But I need to set Drew straight on a few things."

"Hold on." She motions
one minute
and steps into the main room.

It leaves me and Tom alone. Sort of.

He turns to me and runs a hand through his hair. "Willow, I—"

I cut in. "Whatever you're going to say, don't. This was my decision. I asked you to fuck me, not the other way around. I'm the one who was reckless." I bite my lip. "I don't need protecting from your raging libido. I know what I want. I want you."

"I don't know, kid. Probably best if I get lost for a while."

My heart sinks. Please don't let Tom dump me after all this. I'm wearing a fucking towel. It's too humiliating. "You're the only one who knows your feelings."

A knock on the half-open door interrupts.

Kara's even voice fills the room. "I have the key. Are you decent?"

"Yeah."

She pushes the door open. She shoots Tom a stern expression then turns to me. "Are you okay?"

"I don't know. But I need to do this now." I look to Tom one last time. In case it's the last time he wants anything to do with me.

Kara hands me a room key. "Last room on the right, 817. Call me if you have an issue, and I'll talk him down."

"Okay."

She motions
go
to Tom. When he does, Kara steps into the bathroom. She wraps her arms around me in a tight hug.

"I'm sorry about this. Falling in love isn't always convenient." She steps back. "But you always know, deep down, if it's worth all the heartache."

She nods goodbye and closes the door on her way out. I try to listen for her conversation with Tom as I get dressed. I could almost swear she says something about making his life miserable if he breaks my heart.

She's going to make one hell of a sister-in-law.

***

E
ven though I have the key, I knock on Drew's door. As far as I can tell, nothing breaks or slams. He's not punching a wall or kicking a chair. The only sound is footsteps.

"Yeah?" he asks.

"It's me."

Nothing.

"I have the room key. Thought I'd be polite." I run my fingers over the slick plastic key. Okay. No sense in waiting. Let's do this.

Drew opens the door before I can unlock it. There's still anger and frustration in his expression, but there's a softness too.

"It's none of your business who I date," I say.

Drew stares back at me. "You really believe that?"

Technically, it's not his business. But I can't argue that I didn't intentionally deceive him. "I was afraid how you'd react. That you'd go apeshit like you did with Bradley."

"I'm not seventeen anymore."

"You just threatened to quit the band." I press my hand against the door. "I don't want to be the hussy who ruins your careers. And it's not fair putting that on me."

"It's not about you, Wil. Tom made me a promise."

"Fuck Tom."

"You already did. Pretty recently from the looks of things." There's no humor in his voice.

Apparently, this is not a joking matter.

Okay. Deep breath. I'm not backing down. I press the door closed and find a seat on the armchair in the corner. "Ever since Bradley, you've tried hard to protect me. But I'm not a thing that needs protecting." I sit up straight and make eye contact. "I know you have good intentions. I know you want the best for me. But you need to let me live my own life and make my own mistakes."

He takes a spot on the bed across from me. "Wil, you're the only person who knows how fucked up our family is. The only person who will ever understand. You remember that trip to Hawaii?"

I nod.

"Supposed to be mom and dad reconnecting, but they fought the entire time."

"And when I freaked out, you convinced me to sneak away. We spent the whole day snorkeling without parental supervision."

"That was a pride I'd never felt before, getting you away from the situation that was making you cry." His smile fades. "It killed me when you ran off with that asshole. I was supposed to protect you from all that bullshit. Certainly supposed to protect you from guys like him."

"Tom isn't—"

"Let me finish." Drew stares into my eyes. "I'm sure you remember what a tool I was in high school, all caught up in being popular and cool and—"

"Winning Homecoming King?"

He nods. "I saw the signs. The bruises. The fear. You'd always gotten freaked about Mom and Dad fighting, but once you were with that asshole, it was different. You froze." His gaze goes to the floor. "It broke my heart finding you at his place, knowing how he'd hurt you."

"It broke my heart too. What he did. And worrying that you'd gotten yourself killed defending my honor."

His eyes fill with frustration. "I promised myself I'd never let anything else happen to you."

"Nothing has happened to me, Drew. I had sex with Tom. I wanted him. I asked him. And he was fucking fantastic. Caring. Attentive. Always made sure I came."

"These details are not making me feel better."

"I'm an adult. As long as we're both on the same page, what's the harm in me and Tom having sex?"

Drew stares back at me. "Are you in love with him?"

"Yes."

"Have you told him?"

"No."

"Go fucking do it." Drew rises to his feet. "That's the only way you'll know if it's real."

What? My head is swimming. "I thought you were against the whole thing."

"I am." He offers his hand. "But I'm not blind. I've seen the way he makes you laugh. Fuck, you haven't laughed like that since last time I face-planted on my skis. And that must have been ten years ago.

He motions for me to grab his hand. When I do, he pulls me up. And he hugs me. It's not an awkward, stilted hug but an affectionate one.

"I want you to be happy, Wil. I love you. I don't trust Tom as far as I can throw him, but if you trust him, if you love him—I'm not going to get in the way of that." He walks me to the door. "I can't promise I won't hurt him if he is playing you."

"No violence."

Drew nods. "There are other ways to make his life miserable."

"Don't leave the band, Drew. It's everything to you."

"You want to be free to fuck whoever you want, fine. I'm just as free to associate with whoever I want."

There's no arguing that point. "Will you get another tattoo with me? If he does break my heart?"

"Not sure." He opens the door and nudges go. "Might be hard to get tattoos together if I'm convicted of murder."

He smiles.

He's joking, thank goodness.

"That's not funny," I say. But I laugh anyway. "I can't believe you're my favorite brother."

"Can't believe you're my favorite sibling." He one-ups me. His expression gets serious. "Good luck."

"Thanks."

I take a deep breath as I walk back to the party.

The door is still open. The room is quiet. No doubt, everyone is waiting to see whether or not I survived my conversation with Drew.

I step inside and scan the room. There are a lot of worried expressions. On some of the roadies. On Meg and Kara and even the usually aloof Miles.

None of that matters.

There's no sign of Tom.

And from the way everyone is looking at me with pity, there's no way the news is good.

T
ime passes slowly when half a dozen people are trying and failing not to stare. The clock on the wall suggests that it's only been ten seconds. Feels like ten hours.

There are no sounds in the bedroom or in the kitchen around the corner or in the bathroom.

There's no sign of Tom.

No one assuring me that he's on a beer run. Come to think of it, I never see beer. Everyone jumps straight to liquor.

Might not be a bad idea, enough whiskey to dull my thoughts.

"Tom, um, he said he wanted to give Drew some space." Kara steps forward. "Why don't you catch a ride with us?"

Yeah, I'm sure he said that.

Pete motions
come here
to Kara. She does. He whispers something in her ear. It wipes the worry from her expression. Mostly.

The bassist shifts away from the crowd. He makes eye contact with me. "I'm going to stay the night at the hotel. You should too."

"Please tell me you're not offering rebound sex," Meg says.

"Tom would do it," Miles says.

"True." She nods.

"No, sorry, Willow." Pete motions for us to leave. "I'm sure you'll cry yourself to sleep over missing out, but I'm not offering to fuck you."

"Thanks for clarifying that before I got my hopes up," I say.

"Now let's get out of here." Pete throws warning glances at everyone in attendance. "Last thing you need is attention."

I follow him to my hotel room in a total daze. How could Tom bail without a single word? I check my phone for any sign of contact—a text, a tweet, an Instagram photo. Nothing.

Pete not so gently orders me to change into my pajamas and brush my teeth. He's just as bossy as Tom is, but it's a much calmer way. His deep voice is soothing. I can't imagine what possessed his ex to leave him for anyone.

Don't get me wrong. I'm far too head over heels for Tom to even fathom being interested in Pete. But he is interesting. Sexy, deep, playful and mysterious at once.

When he catches me checking texts on my phone, he plucks it from my hands and turns it off.

"You're going to drive yourself crazy checking that thing all night." He sits on the bed next to me. "It's not you, Willow. Mom, Ophelia called during the show. She's getting scared. Tom went to be with her."

"Oh."

"I'll knock when I pick you up tomorrow. Ten a.m. How do you take your coffee?"

"Almond milk and plenty of sugar." I pull the covers over my shoulders. "Why are you picking me up?"

"You're coming with us to see Mom."

"I'm not sure that's a good idea."

"It's your decision." Vulnerability fills his eyes. "I don't know what happened with you and Tom. Where you guys are. He might not realize it, but he needs you. The way he acts around you... I've never seen him care that much about anything besides the band."

I bite my lip.

"You have to put yourself first. If you don't want to be around him, I get that. I won't push you. But he needs you tomorrow."

"What if he doesn't? What if he left because he doesn't want to be with me?"

"I'll make it up to you."

"How?" I ask.

"Rebound sex."

I laugh. "You're not..." I study his expression. He's stoic. It's hard to tell when he's kidding. "You're kidding, right?"

He nods. "If you do dump Tom, be gentle. Not for his sake. For mine. For some reason, I love the asshole."

There's an ocean of concern in his voice. I don't buy his cool facade for a second. He really cares about Tom. It's obvious how much they mean to each other.

"He's your brother," I say.

"Must be it."

"And he's not an asshole. Usually."

Pete pushes off the bed with a nod goodbye. "If you need anything, I'm in room 816." He steps backwards. "Well, almost anything." He winks on his way out the door.

***

T
he drive is a blur of nerves, coffee, and jazz music. I don't bother asking whose car we're driving or where it came from. All my attention goes to keep down my half a bagel breakfast. We might find out Tom and Pete's mom is dying. I know I'm not part of the family, might never be part of the family, but I'm still terrified for them.

Traffic is light on the five freeway. We take an exit somewhere in Orange County. It's a few streets to the big, clean hospital and its wide parking lot. It almost looks like an office building with its big windows and its turquoise exterior.

The inside is nice. Well lit. The walls are cream, the signs bright blue. Pete checks something on his phone then presses his hand against my upper back to lead me through the hallways. I'm almost glad I'm with him and not Tom. I don't think I can handle Tom touching me at the moment.

We stop in front of an open door. There are voices. Laughter. A woman's throaty chuckle. And Tom's bright laugh. I know it well by now. Even with everything all screwed up, his laugh makes the world feel light and effortless.

I follow Pete into the room. Tom's eyes catch mine. They're filled with surprise. And something else. He's nervous.

"Didn't think you were coming, kid." He shoves his hands into his pockets.

"Damn. I was hoping she was Peter's new girlfriend." The woman on the hospital bed laughs. She pushes herself up and extends her hands. "I'm Ophelia."

She's in her late fifties, maybe a little older. Her short hair is electric blue. She's not particularly tall or broad, but she's a presence.

Pete jumps in. "Mom, no one calls me Peter."

"Unless they follow it with Parker." Tom laughs.

"Don't tease your brother. He looked handsome in those thick black glasses." She smiles. "Why wouldn't you want to be Spider-Man, honey? He's one of the least obnoxious of those super heroes."