Rockstar Daddy (Decoy Series) (34 page)

Chapter 25

~Jax~

   Rhys starts to get all nervous and bites on his nails when the music begins but when he sees his little
niece Milly walking down he breaks into a smile. She's happily bouncing down the aisle while throwing down petals. Even I know she shouldn't be chucking them down on the floor like that but because she's only five everyone finds her adorable. Milly sees her dad, Rex and walks up to him and he shows her where her mum is sitting. That's when I see Sophie walking down looking beautiful. I'm so happy for these two, happy that my best friend fount the love I had found in Kendal but lucky for him he didn't loose Sophie. Rhys used to be just like Leo and Max until he set his eyes on Sophie. Hell, I used to be like Leo and Max until I met Kendal. We met at a mutual friends house party where Decoy were playing. I spotted her bright red hair first and then I watched her for the rest of the night. She was eighteen and I was twenty, as soon as I spoke to her that was it. She had me and I had to have her, she was by far the sexiest girl I had ever seen and I couldn't see any other girl. It's still like it today, I haven't met another girl as beautiful as she is and as I see Kendal walk behind Sophie it's like I'm back at the party. I see nobody else, only Kendal. I can't take my eyes off her, she looks amazing.

   The dress she's wearing shows her great tits off, I'm mesmerized by them as I watch the top of them bounce. I notice some men watching her as she walks down and I want to walk up to her and show them she's mine. I see Kendal smile at Jessica and then her eyes lock straight onto mine, she's caught me watching her but I don't care. I want her to know I'm watching her. I'm so thankful for Sophie that she found Kendal. I keep my hold on her as she walks closer, watch as she struggles to hold onto me. Why did she leave me? If she was bothered about attention back then why did she laugh it off like it was nothing when we were spotted in the park? I was pissed at the time but when I saw the photo the next day I loved it. It's just me and Kendal and you can see the desire on her face. I've actually gotten that picture for myself and the one from the night I took her to dinner in that fucking sexy red dress.

   Her eyes are back on me now and we hold each other until she's behind Sophie where I loose sight of her. Until Sophie's dad goes to sit down and I can see her again but I don't think she even
realizes because she's watching Sophie and Rhys. Her eyes are wide and look wet, she's biting on her lip which is what she does when she fights her emotions. I see her wipe a tear away but when Sophie starts to cry Kendal's tears fall aswell as all the other women here. When it's Rhys turn to say his vows I hear his voice break and I realize I'm getting emotional. I hold it back. When they lean in to kiss I wink at Kendal whos looking at me now and she laughs. I see the ice break around her a little and I grin back, I get to spend the hold day with Kendal today. Maybe not with her by her side but I can see her. Creepy as that sounds. Sophie and Rhys start to walk back up the aisle and I realize that all of us best men and bridesmaids all walk out side by side and it's just my luck I'm walking down with Kendal. She gives me a happy smile and I'm pleased it's the best one she's given me yet since I've come back. I know the meal  is next and I know I can't go through it and the dreaded speech without talking to her again so as soon as we walk back through the doors I take hold of her hand and lead her through a piece of blue sheet and into a private room.  Seeing her earlier and watching her just now has proven to me that I want Kendal back, I don't want what Leo and Max have, I want what Rhys has.

      "Jax, what are you doing?"

She looks a little alarmed when I shut the door behind me. She's biting hard on that gorgeous mouth of hers, I wish I could claim her mouth right now.

      "I just need to talk to you before we eat."

She licks her lips and I hold in a groan. No sex plus seeing Kendal equals horny Jax.

      "OK, what do you need to talk about?"

I swallow hard trying to wet my suddenly dry throat.

      "Why did you leave me Kendal?"

She looks down to her feet and I immediately feel like shit. I shouldn't have just thrown it out there like that. I take a couple of steps toward her and I'm about to tell her don't answer but she interrupts me.

      "Look I can't tell you but I will."

I take some more steps closer so I'm standing right in front of her.

      "What do you mean? You can tell me now."

She shakes her head fast, still looking towards the floor. What's the matter with her? I hold onto her face with a hand on each side of her head. She looks like she's going to cry.

      "I can't Jax. Not here, not today."

   "Kendal you can tell me anything."

      "I will, tomorrow. Come to my house tomorrow."

She straightens up and holds her head high. She wants to go but I want some more alone time with her. I bring my face closer to hers and she whispers softly.

      "Jax."

She's telling me to stop but I can't, I need to kiss her. I want her so bad. I brush my lips against hers, I feel her hands on my chest and see her close her eyes. I don't even hear the door open.

      "Jax!"

Standing in the doorway is Max and Jessica. I let go of Kendal and whisper to her.

      "I need you back Kendal."

Before I walk out.

~Kendal~

   God I wished I had grabbed his face and kissed him but I shouldn't. It doesn't stop the images that
continue in my mind though. Someone doesn't want us to kiss because every time Jax tries someone disrupts us. When Max and Jessica come bursting into the room I don't know if I'm angry or relieved. Nothing could have prepared me for what he said to me though, he wants me back? I don't get too happy with that thought because when he hears what I have to say tomorrow he wont want me.

   Max leaves after Jax but Jessica comes straight to me and gives a much needed hug. I was so upset with myself that I nearly started to cry when he told me I could tell him anything. I was so scared that he would push too hard and I would come out with it. Today is an emotional day and I do really want to tell him. I can't let a bomb drop like that here, on Rhys and Sophie's day.

      "I saw him take you away, I tried to come in sooner but Max said to give you a few. You OK?"

   "Yea I'm fine I was just scared I was going to say too much."

      "Not long now honey."

We walk out the room Jax took me to and into the empty room we were in before the ceremony began. All the wedding party is in here while the guests walk over to the marquee.

      "I still love him Jess."

I whisper and hang my head low.

      "Of course you still love him, you didn't stop."

This is so bleddy hard! Sophie is approaching us so I try and calm down.

      "Hey babe, you OK?"

I smile and nod my head.

      "As long as I have my girls I'm fine."

She strokes me arm and pouts at me.

      "I'm so happy for you two."

   "Thanks Kendal. I can't believe I'm married, I was crying so much."

      "We were all blubbering Soph."

Our laughing gets cut short when Rhys stands by Sophie and kisses her on her cheek.

      "Kendal, can we talk?"

Sophie and Jessica silently walk away together. They don't go too far. I look back to Sam and his looking at me with his big brother caring eyes.

      "You OK?"

   "Yea."

      "You staying?"

   "Of course. I'm not going anywhere."

He grabs me into a big comforting hug and it feels nice. I've really missed Rhys. I didn't realize how much until now because all I always thought about was Jax and Finley. It wasn't until now that I'm in his arms I feel like I have my big  brother Sam back. If you ever had to design the big brother you wanted I'm pretty sure everyone would have a Rhys.

      "Why did ya leave Kendal?"

He holds me back by the shoulders to look at me when I don't answer.

      "He said that you told him you couldn't take the girls and all the attention. I know that's not true."

He gives me that disapproving look when he knows I've been lying.

      "Whats the real reason Kendal? I tried calling but I couldn't get through and you weren't at home."

I turned my phone off and then chucked it away without turning it on. I knew I would be upset with what I saw if I turned it back on and I'd be tempted to see Jax again. They didn't know where Maisy lived so I stayed with her for a while until I knew they were out of town and then have the courage to tell my parents. I feel more worried about revealing everything to Rhys than I did Jax. He has always been able to read me well and always knew when I was lying about something.

      "You three would go off and have fun while Jax would be stuck with me. He didn't need me keeping him back Rhys."

He cocks his head to the side and frowns at me again.

      "Kendal I don't believe a word of that. He still loves you Kendal, his never stopped."

   "She still loves him too."

I gasp when I hear Jessica behind me. I turn to give her my traitor glare.

      "Jess shut up!"

I do the whisper shout at her. She shakes her head and Sophie's beside her not knowing what to do. Why can't everyone just stop and enjoy there  wedding day?

      "Kendal it's true so stop trying to hide it."

She walks right up to me, obviously my glare hasn't put her off from coming near me. She looks up to Rhys and I know she has now moved onto Sophie and Maisys side.

      "Since the day she left him she's been miserable. Happy, care free Kendal was gone. She tried to move on but it didn't work out. Last year her ex asked her to move in with her and she couldn't because she can't commit to anyone else. Jax still has her heart."

Maisy stands by Jessica, not looking at me at all. I might as well not be here at all.

      "And seriously, Harley was hot. If she could have moved on it should have been Harley. But she couldn't"

I look down to my shoes. Wishing and praying to be somewhere else, anywhere but this awkward conversation. Everything  that's being said is true. Jessica the traitor looks to me.

      "Just tell Jax you still love him."

    "You do?"

I freeze. Oh my god. Jax heard that? Floor please swallow me now. Rhys is shaking his head but his smiling. Totally ignoring that Jax just interrupted.

      "Sounds just like Jax. His tried and failed because of Kendal. He still loves you Kendal."

Why is everyone talking about my love life like I'm not even standing here. I feel someone grab my hands and I look up to see it's Jax. He looks straight into my eyes and I think I can see hope there. Well he just told me he wants me back and now that big mouth over there just blabbed that I still love him. He knows his task is easier which I do not need when I'm trying to do the right thing and keep my feelings for Jax out of this for Finley.

       "It's true Kendal. I still love you, I need you back."

   "I-I can't do this right now."

I'm shaking like crazy right now. I leave them standing there. They can carry on talking about me, I'll deal with Jess later. I hear Rhys say 'let her go', probably to Jax. I can't believe he still loves me. After four years and now his fame he still loves me. I can't ignore the stab in my heart thinking of him with other girls but I tried to move on too. I failed but I can't be mad at him for trying too. I can't believe Jax heard what Jessica said, maybe she said it because she knew Jax there? I had only just told her I was going to tell him about Finley tomorrow, maybe she thought he should know about my feelings too? I didn't want that though, I just wanted Jax to know about Finley so he can spend time with his dad. I'm not hoping to be a happy family although I can't ignore the feelings that have rushed back just seeing him again. Now I have thought about me Jax and Finley together it hurts to tell myself no.

   I need some fresh air so I walk back though the double doors. Everyone's happily talking and making there way into the marquee that should really be called a circus tent. I just need five minutes to clear my head. I'll be in that circus tent soon and so will Jax, can I even eat a meal yet? Obviously I'm not going to get those five minutes to calm down by myself because when I come outside I see Max and Leo leaning against the house watching everyone. I'd bet money that they were scouting the crowd for any girls. Scouting to see who they were going to try and seduce later tonight. Maybe I can sneak of in the other direction but Leo notices me, he starts to smile at me but then it falls into a frown.

      "Whats up Kendal?"

He pushes of the wall and walks up to me, Max joins him looking just as concerned.

      "Just need a breather."

They both raise an eyebrow, if this was any other time I would have thought they looked funny but I'm not in the mood.

      "Everyone's talking about me like I'm not even there!"

Max places a hand on my shoulder.

      "Yea well this is a pretty weird situation."

   "So what have you been up to?"

I shrug my shoulders but I'm thankful Leo hasn't asked me about Jax.

      "The usual."

Again Leo raises his pierced eyebrow.

      "Well, I don't know what the usual it is anymore seeing as you walked out on us all four years ago. Why did you do that? You didn't even say bye to us."

Well shit I didn't think of that back then. I just gave Jax lie of an excuse and ran away scared. I didn't say bye to the guys.

      "I'm sorry, it was pretty quick and I just left. I couldn't come back. I wanted him to have what you guys had. Music and girls."

They both scrunch there faces up. Seriously whats up with all these matching comical faces?

      "Kendal that's crazy talk. You think he wants cheap and easy pussy when he had you? They have nothing on you. Surely you saw that, were you blind?"

I hang my head ashamed. Maybe if I told them because I was pregnant they would understand or they would think it was worse. I've come from one confrontation and straight to another. I hear a smack and look to Leo holding the back of his head.

      "Back of Leo. Shes just had all this in there."

Max takes me into a hug and then releases me.

      "So where you living now then? Last time we saw you, you were at home."

   "No I left home three years ago. Only twenty minutes from here."

      "You finish college?"

Well this is better than talking about me and Jax.

      "Yea fully qualified hairdresser. Then I did make-up, nails and tanning."

Leo points to my mouth.

      "Do I see new piercings?"

I laugh and it feels good.

      "Yea my tragus and tongue since I last saw you."

   "Sexy, any tats yet?"

      "I might have my sons name."

They both nod.

      "Jax did tell you didn't he?"

   "Yea and also that your alone."

Leo looks to Max and frowns and then back to me.

      "I didn't know that you were alone Kendal. The dad not around?"

I shake my head.

      "Who is it I'll knock the fucker out."

   "Look it's fine OK?"

I see Tanya and Maisy walking out to me and I escape this now awkward conversation. Tanya places her hand on my arm and I know its a silent question to ask if I'm OK so I giver her a nod back.

      "Hey honey, everyone's sitting down for the meal, you coming?"

Maisy's looking behind me and Tanya lifts her eyes up to and then back to me. I turn and see Jax, Rhys, Sophie and Jessica walking towards us. As soon as I see Sophie and Rhys I feel like shit. This is spoiling there day. I give Sophie a tight hug when she's close enough.

      "I'm sorry about all this Soph."