Rockstar Daddy (Decoy Series) (8 page)

      "I think I might buy a vibrator."

I was way in to deep with my thoughts that Tanya's shocking revelation made me choke on my tea.

      "Jesus Tan you could have waited until after I swallowed!"

She just shrugs and carries on talking while still flicking her magazine pages.

      "I'm sick of men. They think there great in bed and when it gets down to business there a bag of shit. They just take care of themselves and don't even let you finish. Selfish bastards."

I laugh, poor Tan, it sounds like she's had another bad experience with a man again.

   "Oh honey your just looking at the wrong guys. You always go for the bad boy look so look elsewhere."

      "True but when you have a gorgeous male there and his telling you all these things he could do to you that I so badly want I crave. Ever since that hook up four years ago the sex has been shit and it's pissing me off."

Ah the mysterious hook up. We don't know his name because Tanya won't tell us so his known as the hook up. One night me, Jessica, Tanya, Sam, Mark, James, Jax, Leo, Max and Rhys all went out together and we all got so drunk. Maisy couldn't make it because she had a business trip. The next morning Tanya was in a great mood, she was telling us about this gorgeous man who
'shagged her to heaven',
her words. Apparently he was very, very good and gorgeous too. She was texting all day and that night after a Decoy gig she disappears and turns up and hour later in a foul mood so we left and went home. I think the great sex guy turned out to be a jerk and she wouldn't tell us anything more. Four years later and she still won't tell us who he was but apparently sex has never been the same for poor Tanya. That guy definitely ruined her for other men, abit like how I feel about Jax. Now, sex with Jax was amazing but I can't think about that right now.

   "And do these guys do all these things they say?"

      "They try but there shit."

   "Well then try a different type."

      "Yea maybe. Your so lucky Kendal you get all the sex gods."

Pft. The only guy I could call that would be Jax. Harley was talented in that area but his not Jax and a couple of hook ups, not to stranger. I knew them, I'm not that kind of girl. Now Jax was something, he was amazing. I don't know if it had something to do with us falling for each other but he never failed to give me multiple orgasms and leave me breathless. The girls keep begging me to give Harley another go but I can't go there again. He wants more and I can't give that to him. to take him up on his offer of a date.

   "I wouldn't call them that Tan."

      "Yea well at least they make you come."

I laugh at her pouty sad face. Sasha, one of the other hairdressers pokes her head around the door.

      "Your appointments are here girls."

We follow behind Sasha and I lean into Tanya and whisper,

      "I'll help you find a toy."

She grins wide knowing what type of toy I'm talking of. The dirty minx.

A week later.....

   It's Tuesday, the night before our girly shopping trip and the whole gang is round Sam and Jessica's house. Sadly Sophie couldn't make it because she had to attend a work event with Reece, her boyfriend. The guys are diving into there food like they haven't eaten in days and Finley keeps asking about the chocolate cake afterwards. Were all having a great family meal until Tanya lets slip that she wants a vibrator. I immediately drop my knife and fork to cover Finley's little innocent ears and stare hers daggers from across the table. The guys are all shaking there heads but Mark actually looks disgusted. Everyone is looking straight at Tanya, well apart from Finley, he is still eating. Mark decides to talk first.

      "Why the hell would you want one of those things?"

Tanya looks at him like his crazy for asking such a question. To be honest I'm with Tanya there, why would you need to ask that? It's kind of obvious why she would want one.

      "Erm Mark, isn't that obvious?"

Now James looks at her with the same expression as Mark. Honestly why are we having this conversation at the dinner table. I still have my hands over Finley's ears but his oblivious to anything happening.

      "It's not the real thing, surly it doesn't feel the same. Get a man and do it with the real thing."

All the girls including me all gasp at James. I can't believe he just said that.

      "Every girl should have one to be honest."

Everyone stops to gawp at Maisy and she just shrugs her shoulders. OMG Maisy has a vibrator! She around the table at each of our stunned faces.

      "What? A girl has needs and with a vibrator there's no relationship crap."

The silence is filled with mine, Tanya and Jessica's laughter until Finley asks everyone a question I was dreading.

      "Whats a vibrator?"

Oh no. He heard! Everyone looks at each other in a panic and then they all look to me. Oh shit what do I say, this is one of those important parenting moments.

      "Ermmm....It's a toy that auntie Tanya really wants for her birthday but we can't say that word again or she won't get her birthday wish."

I hear Jessica snicker under her breath beside me.

      "She sure wants that birthday wish."

I smile at her remark and thankfully Finley seems to take that excuse and demands his cake from his auntie Jess. All the men put there cutlery down and agree with Finley. While were all moaning over how delicious Jessica's heavenly double chocolate  fudge cake is Maisy asks the guys what they have been up to lately. All three of them shift in there chairs a little, looking a little nervous. All of us girls take notice and stop eating and look at the guys suspiciously. Finley is happily digging into his cake although there's more cake around his mouth than in his mouth. James shrugs his shoulders like his bored and answers for all three of them.

   "Just the usual boring stuff."

Us girls all exchange looks, there hiding something. So I ask,

      "And that would be?"

His eyes shoot up to meet mine and I think that I see guilt as he looks at me but why would James be feeling guilty? Somethings up, Tanya can see it to and she narrows her eyes at the guys.

      "Come on guys, what is it? We don't keep anything from each other."

Jessica's slowly nodding looking straight at Sam but Sam has his head down on his bowl. The guys then all look to each other and it looks like Sam has the unfortunate responsibility of spilling the details. Weirdly he looks directly at me and he has that same guilty sad look in his eyes as James did.

      "Look we just went to the new casino opening that's just outside Chelsea."

OK, well that's not so bad. Not bad at all so why the sad looks and secrecy?

      "So what happened? You loose our allot of money or something? Whats with you guys?"

Sam looks to Jessica and even I can see the begging in his eyes. Jessica obviously doesn't see what I see because she puts her spoon down and looks straight at him.

      "Samuel Mathews, your all acting weird. Tell me right now or so help me."

He bows his head and takes a big breath. Mark and James take a quick nervous glance at me. What is with these guys? Is this how it's going to be every time we all get together at Sam and Jessica's? A weird atmosphere and secrets? There making me feel nervous and why are they looking at me again? Finley is still oblivious to all this and is taking advantage as he grabs my bowl of cake and helps himself to seconds. I see him set is eyes on Maisys bowl for next. I need to make sure that doesn't happen. I hear Jessica raise her voice.

      "Sam!"

He snaps his head up and looks up to the ceiling.

      "OK fine. But just so you know, we did want to tell you but we didn't know how."

All three men look at me as Sam carries on talking. What is happening here?

      "We did go to the casino opening. We were there for a couple of hours when we bumped into Max and Leo."

Oh shit. I think my heart just stopped beating. I feel sick. I feel every ones eyes on me but I'm looking at Finley. I hear Jessica's quiet voice.

      "As in Decoys Leo and Max? Jax's band mates?"

I snap my head up to look at her. Why would she ask such a stupid question?

      "Who else would it be Jess?"

All eyes jump from Jessica to me again. I don't know what to do. I shouldn't have snapped. I tell Finley to go and play outside with Sam and Jessica's puppy. He happily agrees and runs out to the back garden. As soon as he is outside I look up at the guys.

      "So it's true. They really are back?"

My voice comes out as a whisper, Marks the only one who nods

   "Looks that way babe, we spoke for a while and left."

Tanya grabs my hand from under the table and squeezes.

      "What did they have to say?"

   "Just hi, they said they have a place about twenty minutes away from town."

He goes quiet and scratches the back of his head. A nervous gesture of his.

      "They said they share the place with Jax."

Bomb dropped. My stomach wants to reject the food I have just enjoyed. Jax shares a place with Leo and Max? The same guys who would shag any woman who offered? I bet they have women over all the time. See, Kendal who? Jax is happy without me, I did do him a favor running from him.

      "Who Jax mummy?"

Finley's sweet little voice interrupts my panic. His stood at the back door, chocolate all over his face. I try and smile and force back the tears.

   "Mummy's old friend sweetheart. Come on it's time to go home."

      "But I don't want to mummy"

He says in his whinny tone, bottom lip pouting. Jessica stands behind my chair and whispers in my ear.

      "He can stay with us tonight if you want?"

I appreciate the offer but the truth is I feel like I need Finley with me to help me function at the minute.

     "No I need him with me. I just need to go Jess."

I stand and I'm about to get my bag from the hallway when Sam comes and stands in front of me.

      "Kendal let me drive you home."

He gestures for Finley to come to us and I growl in a low voice so the people around me can hear.

      "For god sake will you all stop babying me!"

They all lower there gazes except for Mark who looks at me with those eyes full of pity. Maisy takes Finley from Sam and goes back outside. Sam gathers me in his warm welcoming arms. I resist at first but then I give in and hold onto him tight, he rests his chin on the top of my head.

      "Were not babying you Kendal. You and Finley are family and were just trying to look after you. I just couldn't tell you and upset you like that."

  Tears finally escape and I welcome them because this all hurts so fucking much. Everything is getting too much. It's true, there back. It's only a matter of time until he sees me and then he will find out about Finley. His going to be so angry, I need to tell him first but how? When? Why have I gotten myself into such a fucking mess?