Rockstar's Angel (5 page)

Leo

I watch from the limo as Tanya speed walks into Kendal and Jax's house.

"You coming or not?" I look at Max as he leans in through the open door, and nod back at him. I'm too angry to talk right now. The thought of another man taking what's mine, looking at Tanya's beautiful naked body, having her moaning under someone other than me, has me in a huge rage I'm barely able to hold in. To keep me from shouting at her to ask her who the bastard is, I don't attempt to talk to Tanya, or even look at her. I try and forget what she told me, I'm here to celebrate my friend’s wedding and see them off on their honeymoon. I brought my drama to the wedding, no need to bring it here too.

It's not that easy to ignore Tanya though. There are seventeen of us here, close friends of the happy couple, both sets of parents, and Finley. I can smell her perfume, it's making this impossible! I prepare myself, looking over at her. I know exactly where she is, I can feel her. She's standing with Rhys, Sophie, James and Mark. Tanya slowly shakes her head at Rhys, she looks so sad. What could have upset her?

Sophie engulfs her in a hug. I wonder if it's what I said that's made her look like that. She was fine an hour ago when I saw her in the taxi. Maybe I shouldn't have said that she was mine, and all that other shit, because it did piss her off. I didn't think I'd upset her. What if it's that fucker from last night who's upset her?

I storm over to them, my eyes fixed on Tanya. She doesn't notice I've approached the small group until Sophie releases her from the hug. She looks at me with wide eyes, well here goes nothing. "Can we talk?"

"No."

Mark places a hand on her shoulder from behind. "Let's leave this for today, yeah?"

I ignore him, still watching Tanya. "What's up?"

She shoots me a glare. "You. Now please, just leave me alone, I can't deal with this shit today, Leo." She walks over to Kendal, laughing and talking as though nothing is bothering her, all trace of her sadness now gone. If I hadn't seen her face just then, I'd never have known she was covering up something either.

Mark steps in front of me. "Just be patient with her. She's a stubborn woman, she'll come around."

I laugh. "You're blind right? Have you not seen how she's ignored me since I came back?"

"Just give her some space." Before I can answer he walks off.

"He's right honey."

I turn to look at Sophie. "I need to know why she's ignoring me."

"You have no idea at all? You haven't thought back, tried to think about the last time you saw her?" It may sound stupid, but I haven't. I've been too busy thinking about how to get her to talk to me. I shake my head at Sophie. "Maybe you ought to try."

When she walks over to join the rest of the girls, I'm left with Rhys and James. I ask Rhys why Tanya was so upset. Maybe I can get something out of him. "She was pissed at you for what you said outside, what did you say?"

I shrug my shoulders. "She told me she slept with someone last night, so I was pissed. How did you think I was gonna react?" Rhys and James look at each other and frown. "What?"

James answers me. "Well, Tanya didn't say anything about it."

"Yeah, and? Why would she?"

Rhys sighs. "Do you remember Tanya at all?"

Before I flip out on one of my best friends, James adds. "Tanya tells everyone everything. That's who she is; if she had a man in her bed, she'd be gabbing about it all day. I've heard enough details about her sex life to last me a life time. She loves sex and loves to tell us about it." He laughs a little, shrugging his shoulders.

Well shit, how could I forget that?

That was one of the main reasons I used to get angry at her. I'd hear her boasting to the girls about how she'd had a hot guy the other night, he did this and that, and she was screaming so loud, blah blah blah. I used to try and drown it out, but it was impossible. I was pissed at her, she was sleeping with other men and yapping to her friends about it where I could hear everything she was fucking saying, and she'd never tell them anything about me! I was her fucking dirty little secret.

If Tanya had slept with another man, she'd be revealing it all to her friends right now. She would have rubbed all the details in my face outside, but she didn't. I was so angry at the thought of Tanya with someone other than me, that I didn't see through her and
realize she could be playing me.

I turn around to see Tanya looking over at me. I give her a wink, her spine stiffens and I smile. That's right angel, I'm onto you.

Tanya

Why does Leo keep smiling over at me? He's got a weird look on his face, it's making me nervous. I'd have thought he'd still be brooding with anger. What's changed to make him look at me like that?

He stands beside me as we all wave bye to Kendal and Jax as they drive off for the airport. He doesn't try and talk to me, which I'd prepared myself for. I was all ready to tell him to go away, but he just winked at me, whistled and walked off!

He fucking whistled!

What the fuck's going on?  

Sam and Jessica offer me and Maisy a lift home. As they all chatter I can't get Leo out of my head. I don't hear what they're talking about because I'm too busy wondering what happened back there.

"Tan?" I snap my head in Jessica's direction. "You OK?" I nod, looking back out of the window. They know I'm not OK, but leave me to it anyway.

Leo left me alone just like I wanted him to, so why am I feeling weird right now?

Tanya

Five days later

I slump down on my sofa after getting in from work. Today was a hard day, my feet are killing! I had to take over Kendal's clients, they wanted me to replace her as Kendal and I do similar hair styles at work, but that meant I had more work to do. My own clients, who come exclusively to me, didn't want anyone else to do their hair, and they didn't want to rebook. So I had a constant line of women all day. My day dragged by slowly, and because of the extra work, I finished at six rather than four! God I miss Kendal right now.

I snatch my mobile phone from the coffee table beside me and see I have three unread texts and two missed calls. I overslept this morning and forgot my phone. I've felt lost without it all day. Even though I don't use it at work, knowing it wasn't in my bag still bothered me. When I see the first text I smile, it's from Kendal. She's managed to send us all a text every day. She should be enjoying herself under that gorgeous man of hers, not worrying about us at home.

KENDAL: Hey honey! How R U? Having an amazing time! Jax is so romantic, we had breakfast right beside the sea this morning! I've spent more time naked than I have dressed! He's a maniac! Hope U R OK, I will C U when I get back. Love ya bitch! xx

I send her a quick reply.

ME: I'm fine! Stop worrying about me and give that man of yours a blowjob or something! I would B worried if he didn't have U naked! I would have 2 have a word with him 4 not treating my girl like he should. Don't worry about me and get back 2 UR man! xxx

In every one of her texts she's asked how I am. I know she's worried about me, the girls have told me she's asked about me in their texts! The truth is, I'm not actually feeling okay. I feel a little weird, I'm scared that it's because Leo has stopped bugging me. I  got what I wanted, so why am I feeling so down? I haven't seen or heard from him for five days, since we waved Jax and Kendal off on their honeymoon. Normally I'd hear from our friends that he'd been asking about me, or I'd see him around and avoid him, but nothing. I'm pretty sure he was at Sophie's when I was there the other day though. He probably saw me driving up and ran away. Sophie looked a little off, I think he must have told her to keep quiet and she won’t lie. That hurt. The thought he didn't want to see me and asked our friend not to say he was there. But, it's what I wanted all along, right?

This is going to sound so stupid of me, because I told him to leave me alone, but I miss it. I miss Leo. But I can't miss him, I don't want to!

Fuck I am so screwed!

I'm so stupid! I've started to feel for him again, I really didn't want that to happen! He's only going to hurt me again, and this time I won't have Kendal's heartbreak to cover my own problems! I'll fall apart, and it will be worse than before. To try and forget about Leo I look at my next two messages, they're from Maisy.

MAISY: Hey sugar, still on 4 tonight? U better B! I am bringing ALOT of wine because I have had a shit couple of days! B there for 8 xxx

About two hours after that text was sent I had a missed call from Maisy, followed by another text.

MAISY: Change of plan, I'll be there at half 6, C U soon bitch xxx

I manage to shower and get into my snugly onesie just as Maisy knocks on the door. I'm so glad to see her big bag of alcohol goodies. I'm desperate for a drink after all the thinking I did in the shower. I don't like where my thoughts were taking me.

A couple of hours later we're well and truly tipsy and waiting for our takeaway pizza. We've spoken about everything other than the obvious, but now the drink has loosened our tongues, Maisy finally broaches the subject of Leo. "Sooo....You and Leo?"

I chuckle, so subtle Maisy. "What about us?"

She gives me a blank stare. "Seriously? Since the details you shared at Sophie’s wedding I haven't gotten anything else!" She takes a gulp from her wine glass. "Come on Tan, what happened? Was it just because of the groupies, or were you jealous?"

I feel my eyes widen. "I was not jealous!"

"So tell me then."

I take a deep breath. Oh what the hell, time to reveal all about how Tanya fell for a playboy drummer who crushed her heart. I can't tell her everything though. "We slept together-"

Maisy stops me, one hand against my chest. "Wait! What was it like?"

I bite my lip, trying to hold in my smile. "Amazing."

"Yeah, he looks like he'd give a woman a good time."

I stare at her silently for a couple of seconds, then burst into laughter. "Yeah, well, he definitely does. After the first time-"

"First time? As in more than once?"

"Mase, are you going to let me talk?!" She giggles, gesturing with her hand for me to carry on. "After the first time, I woke up in the morning going crazy. I mean, what was I going to say? What were we going to do? We'd crossed a line but I didn't want things to change. I didn't want to destroy our friendship, or everyone else. You know what Leo's like, Maisy. When did you ever see him with the same woman? I don't even think he ever had a girlfriend!"

"So you kept quiet because you thought you two having sex would ruin everyone's friendship?"

She raises her eyebrow in a silent challenge. "Fine! I knew he'd wake up and find an excuse to get rid of me. I knew he'd reject me, Leo didn't want a girlfriend. He was going to wake up and give me the 'it's only sex' speech, so I beat him to it. I told him we should keep it quiet, no need for anyone to know." I gather myself, looking my friend right in the eye. "I fell in love with him Mase." I see her eyes widen and try to carry on. "I fell for him long before we slept together. I didn't know how deeply back then, but I know now. I didn't want to hear him shut me down; I couldn't cope having him say that to me. It would have killed me." I feel tears dripping down my cheeks. "I told myself not to go back to him, but I couldn't stay away. I was stupid and weak, and every time I left his bed, I broke a little more inside. Every time we had sex I stupidly thought that time would change him, he wouldn't want the groupies anymore, just me. But no, nothing changed, and I knew it never would. I was just a good fuck, and instead of staying with me, I had to watch him leave with different groupies. Sometimes we'd have sex backstage and then he'd leave with one of them right in front of me, Maisy!" I'm in a full blown crying mess now. Maisy wraps her arms around me. "I can't ever feel like that again." I whimper. I will not let what happened to me then, happen again.

"When did you finally stop?"

"When Kendal left Jax."

I feel her stiffen, she pulls me back so she can look right at me. "What?"

I wipe away my pathetic tears. "We had sex the night before, when we woke up we heard Kendal. I heard what she said to him Maisy. I felt so sad for her. Straight after she left heartbroken, Leo looked at me and told me that at least he didn't have to hide behind his friends backs anymore. That he didn't need to keep stupid secrets anymore. Kendal and Jax had finished so we were too."

"He said that?"

"Not those exact words, but it's what he meant."

Her face hardens, and she holds me tighter. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I couldn't. What was I supposed to say? 'Hey everyone. I've been sleeping with Leo, even though Kendal warned me not to, and I stupidly fell head over heels for him, and to top it off he's just rejected me.' Yeah, because that wouldn't have been humiliating."

"You should have told us. You're obviously still upset about it all. You've kept this locked up for too long. We would have helped you."

"No I couldn't. Kendal was pregnant and heartbroken. She needed us all, and I wanted to be there for her. I needed to be strong for her, not a silly crying mess. You couldn't have both me and Kendal heartbroken and crying, so I stopped my tears and helped my friend." I didn't resent Kendal at all, I never will. In fact, focusing on helping her, it kept my hurt at bay and the truth hidden. I don't like sympathy. Having everyone think I was upset for Kendal, and not about my own problems, was a huge relief for me.

"You should have told us." She repeats.

"Well, I can't change it now, and I wouldn't change it." I fill Maisy in on all the details about Leo and I. I tell her almost every detail. She was right, it does feel better to get it out. I feel like she can finally understand me now, and stop pushing me into talking to Leo. There's one thing I can't tell her, or anyone else. It's the main reason I truly hate Leo, he made me go through the worst pain, and it was all his fault.

"Don't worry, I won't be telling you to talk to him anymore. Fucking idiot! How could he treat you like that? Kendal is gonna be pissed." I cringe, Maisy notices. "She has to know, Tanya. So do Sophie and Jess, you need your friends right now."

I nod my head, I finally agree with her. Now that it's all out in the open and understood I decide to ask Maisy something, as soon as she sits back down from collecting our pizza from the door. I need to turn this conversation away from me and Leo now anyway. "So what about you and Max?"

She bites into a slice of pizza, watching me wearily from the corner of her eye. "What about me and Max?"

I throw down my pizza crust, I never have and never will eat crusts. "Oh come on! You two are always together! He seems to like you."

She smiles at me. "We bumped into each other one night when I went out with the girls from work. We went back to mine and kissed, that was it."

"Kissed?" Max just kissing?

Maisy laughs. "Yes, that was it. We're not into each other like that. We're really good friends though. He's a good guy, but he's not my guy."

When I'm assured she only sees him as a brother, we continue to eat pizza and drink wine. After, we head to my bed to watch a late night film. Nine times out of ten we fall asleep before the film finishes. As I close my curtains I catch sight of a familiar looking car driving away. I frown in thought, I'm sure that looked like Leo's car. I almost laugh at my wishful thinking. Leo wouldn't be desperate enough to be outside my apartment. He doesn't even know where I live, and I'm grateful. I'm not ready for him to know where I live. I can't have him in my personal space. "Twilight OK?"

I turn around and smile at Maisy who's surrounded by DVDs on the floor. "Perfect."

There's nothing like sexy vampires and werewolves to take my mind off Leo. Although Edward Cullen sure would look a little better with some added muscles, nice big arms and a few tattoos.

I almost roll my eyes at myself.