rogue shifter 06 - torn apart (20 page)

"Why should I run when I can just do this? He disappeared and reappeared behind me. I did the same thing and then it became a silly game as we dissolved and reassembled in different rooms in the compound, the training continuing in different spaces.

We indulged in an early dinner break, then worked out well into the night. He was taking it easy on me, but I was holding my own.

"Rest. When you wake up, I'll send you home."

After a quick shower, I collapsed and slept like the dead.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

The relief I felt at being home again couldn't be measured. I ran out to the field, sensing that my son was there. When I saw him, I crouched down and held out my bruised and aching arms, excited to hold him again. "I'm home, honey."

Instead of smiling, Charlie looked at me with such fury that I lost my balance and ended up on my butt in the grass. Without a word, he took off the catcher's mitt, threw it on the ground at his feet and turned his back on me, moving toward the kitchen door with quick but heavy steps.

Charlie's reaction stunned me. I'd expected him to run into my arms like he always did when he saw me for the first time each day. I dropped my arms limply and stood, watching him stalk off toward his room.

I looked at Noriene for answers. "Except to ask where you were the first afternoon, he has not spoken of you the entire time you have been gone. When we mention that you will be back soon, he acts like he has not heard. Garrett tried to encourage him to speak about his anger, but he is stubborn." She looked amused, probably thinking that he was just like his mother.

Garrett would be resting now so I reached out with my mind to Liam, only to come up blank. "Where's Liam?"

"Garrett, Liam and the Rogues team have all gone on assignment to one of Aaron's packlands."

"They're
all
gone? Without me?"

"It could not wait. The vampires are resting in a special room Aaron has made ready for them. They are guarded at all times as they rest."

"He left Charlie?"

"Aislin, Farrell and I are staying here together, so you will have all three of us to protect you and Charlie if the need arises. We have taken the rooms upstairs when we are not on duty."

I straightened my back and smoothed down the tunic I'd worn home, trying to appear unconcerned. "Thank you, Noriene. I'm going to shower and then I'll talk to Charlie in private. That will give him some time to calm down."

"Of course. I will stay with him until then."

Twenty-five minutes later I knocked on his door. Noriene answered, nodded and left. Charlie was curled on his bed with his back toward the door, reading one of his favorite books,
Robin Hood
.

For my own comfort, I sat in the rocking chair I used to sit in when I nursed him. That tiny baby had never looked at me with hate in his eyes. Charlie's anger had hurt, but I had to get over it and find out what was up.

I took a quiet breath and braced myself for more of the same. "You're very angry. Could you tell me why?"

"No," he snapped.

"You can't or you won't?"

"Won't."

He turned another page, keeping his back to me. "Do you want me to tell you about the Demon Realm?"

"No." That one was louder.

I struggled with finding a way to start him talking. "Do you want to ask me any questions?"

"No."

"Will you turn around and look at me at least? I've missed you and I'd like to see your face."

"No." Slightly unsure that time.

"Then I'll just sit here until you do. You can't stay like that forever."

"Can too," he muttered.

I took a Harry Potter book from his shelf and then sat on the small couch in the corner, curling up to read. Two could play this game. We both pretended to be reading, the sound of turning pages filling the silence. When I hadn't heard him turn a page for a minute or two I looked up.

He was watching me with a thoughtful expression. I smiled, but his face remained neutral. Playing Garrett's waiting game, I didn't speak, hoping he'd start talking soon.

I didn't need to wait long. "You left me and Daddy." His eyes had narrowed again.

"You knew I was going and it was only for three days. I won't be going back until next month."

"You didn't say goodbye."

"I can't. I never know exactly when I'm going." He looked angry again. "Come and sit next to me, Charlie."

"I couldn't feel you in my mind." I should have thought of this. Logically, he'd understood, but when he couldn't feel my presence in our world, he'd gotten scared. He and I'd always been connected in that way. We hadn't tried to speak mind to mind because Liam felt he was too young and it could confuse him, but we were always aware of each other.

"I was in the Demon Realm. I couldn't feel you or Daddy either. I missed you very much." I patted the seat next to me.

This time he ran to me, only he didn't crawl into my lap. Instead he sat next to me like a grownup. "Don't go again." He crossed his arms and pouted. It was an order. My young son was feeling protective in a very male way.

"I don't have a choice. I made a bargain with Isaiah and I have to keep it."

"But I can't make you safe if you aren't here. Daddy can't make you safe. Or Uncle Liam." There was an edge of panic in his voice.

"I'm safe with Isaiah. He makes sure no one hurts me."

He finally crawled into my lap, then looked closely at my eyes. "You came back different."

"Really? Different in what way?"

"More orange."

"I used my demon magic together with my shifter magic. It was cool."

He seemed to accept that. "I'm hungry."

"Me too." He held my hand as we walked into the kitchen and then put together some lunch for ourselves. When we were almost finished eating our sandwiches and sweet potato fries, his favorite, he said, "Daddy left last night to help Uncle Aaron."

"I'll probably join the team tonight." I'd have to call Aaron first to find out what was up.

The look on his face stopped my breath. He shouted at me, furious.  "No! You're not going." He threw his fork, the utensil passing only inches from my face before flying toward the sink and smashing into an empty glass on the counter behind me. The loud sound of shattering glass got Samson up and barking, distressed by the noise or maybe by Charlie's anger.

"Charles. You will show your lady mother respect." Sinlae was in the room buzzing around his head, but he only had angry eyes for me at the moment. Noriene ran into the room, looked at the damage and waved her hand, all evidence of the broken glass disappearing instantly. She started to say something, but I shook my head.

"Sinlae, Noriene, thank you for coming, but Charlie and I need to talk this out privately."

"Of course." They nodded and disappeared.

We stared at each other for another few seconds. Samson sat by my chair with his head in my lap. I patted his head to calm myself before speaking. "The fork came very close to my face. It could have hurt me. Did you want to hurt me?"

"No." His lower lip was trembling.

"Why did you throw it?"

"I don't want you to go." Charlie answered.

"Do you think throwing a fork would make me stay?" I asked.

"No."

"What do you think you could have done instead?"

He glanced down at his hands, not wanting to meet my eyes. "Talk?"

"Always try talking first. Please put your dish in the sink and go sit on the couch in your room. You're not to read or play or listen to music. What you did was dangerous and inappropriate and I'm giving you a fifteen minute time out to think about what just happened. Then I'll come in and we'll talk."

He got out of his chair and put his dish in the sink. His eyes had filled with tears but he somehow managed not to let any of them fall. "I'm sorry, Mommy." He walked to his room and shut the door.

I took another sip of coke and wished that Garrett was here. He was off working with the team, solving crimes or saving lives, whatever the job was this time. I felt my own stab of hurt and anger. Fortunately there was no one around who I could throw a fork at.

Fifteen minutes later, I was sitting next to Charlie. "When I was younger, I used to get really angry too. I'd go out running where no one could find me. It made me feel a lot better."

"I can't go anywhere." He fisted his hands in frustration.

"That's part of the problem, I think. " I had an aha moment. "You and I are going to start exercising together everyday. We can go running or we can swim. You get to choose. Both are great exercise. It'll give you a chance to think about things."

"I don't swim that great."

"I'll help you. You have long legs and arms for your age. You'll be good at both." The vamp villa had an indoor pool.

"Okay, I'll try."

"Good." I rubbed his back and thought about the danger he was in. "Maybe you'd like to go to Faerie when you get angry at me or Daddy? Sometimes when you separate from the person you're mad at, it gives you a chance to think about why you're angry. Sometimes you find out that you're not mad anymore."

"But I can't get there by myself. Someone would have to take me."

"I'm going to show you a secret that you can't show anyone else, okay?"

"Okay. I promise." My son, who always wanted to learn new things, was bouncing with excitement.

I opened his closet and showed him the special painting that looked like a cave. "This is a gateway to Cascade. It'll take you to Ashlyn's house, Philladre's sister. She's the artist who painted this beautiful mural on your wall. She said you can come anytime, but you have to take a fae guard or me or Daddy with you. If you take off without letting anyone know, you'll be forbidden to use it. When you're older I'll let you go on your own.

His eyes were wide with wonder. "This has been here the whole time?"

"Yep."

"Coooool."

I crouched in front of him so he'd pay attention. "There's one more thing. If you think you're in danger, and you can't get to an adult, then use it to go to Faerie. Do you understand?" He nodded. "This is very important. You won't get into trouble if you really think you're in danger. The rest of us can travel the lines, but you can't. This was put here so you can get somewhere safe, quickly."

He ran an index finger back and forth over his bottom lip, deep in thought. "Jay and I can visit Faerie if we take Farrell, right?"

"No. Only someone with permission to go to Faerie can go with you. Only you, me, Daddy or Samson, or a fae, of course."

"I can take Samson, too?" I nodded. "Linn can go, right?"

"Yes."

"Grady?"

"We'll ask Liam." I stood up.

"Can I go there right now?"

"No. You have to earn a trip to Faerie with hard work and good behavior. We still have a lot to talk about."

He looked up at me through long blond lashes. "Are you gonna hit me?"

"What?"

"I read kids get hit when they're bad."

"I'll never hit you. And you aren't bad. You made a bad choice when you threw that fork, but you aren't bad."

He hugged me, wrapping his arms around my waist. "I'm sorry I almost hurt you."

I stroked his hair. He seemed taller. How was that possible? "Soon you'll have very powerful magic, Charlie. You need to learn how to control your anger so you never hurt anyone accidentally. Come on, we're going outside. Put on your old sneakers, please."

"Why?"

"Sinlae needs your help."

When he joined me outside I handed him a small spade. Sinlae was expanding her garden and I thought this was a perfect opportunity for some productive punishment.

"I have to dig?" He looked horrified.

"Yes."

"I giant hole? Like Liam had to when his dad got mad?"

"No. You'll help Sinlae with her garden." He rolled his eyes at me, not at all pleased with his punishment.

Sinlae told him what section she wanted dug up. He made a face, then got down on his knees and followed her instructions without complaining. Farrell had just relieved Noriene, so he generously pitched in to help, too. While they worked, I sat on a nearby stone bench to watch the action.

Samson, having come back from unsuccessfully running down a squirrel, curled up at my feet. I decided to entertain them by accounting some of my odd adventures in the Demon Realm. By the time I'd finished my story, Aislin and Noriene and the three male demi-fey had also gathered around our small group to hear my tale. I left out the magical blade, what Isaiah had told me about my mother and anything else I thought he might not want a fae to know.

"You grew long claws? Longer than a cheetah?" I nodded. "Can you do it here too?" Charlie asked.

Not sure, I held up my hands and focused Isaiah's way. Nothing happened at first, but then I began to notice the cells of my magic moving in their own unique way within my hands. When I remembered how it had felt to have them, claws sprouted where my fingernails had been, long, sharp, and shiny.

Charlie giggled and I gasped when I glanced in his direction. He'd become a kaleidoscope of color, pattern and movement. "What's wrong?" he asked.

"I can see your magic. There's purple and green and orange and gold and a hundred other colors. All the colors make different patterns, then they change again. You're beautiful."

"Handsome. I'm a boy." He pouted.

"Your magic is beautiful."

I looked at Farrell. "Can you see it?"

"Always, when we wish to see. Each being makes their own unique patterns, like snowflakes. No two the same."

He came closer and took one of my hands. "I see cheetah beside your demon magic. How is this possible?" I explained Isaiah's theory and Farrell nodded. "Do you see the spaces? Those fill when you use the lines for some purpose." He held up his hand. "I have no large spaces because I am full blood fae and don't need to pull magic from the lines." He allowed me to see, and I was floored by the purple and gold beauty of his energy.

"Charlie has fewer spaces than you, because he is filled with fae and demon magic."

"Look." I pointed at Charlie's chest. Sure enough, there was a thin stream of green snaking around the others, centered near his heart.