Rotten Apple (17 page)

“I do
not
know what you mean. What are you talking about? Why is Happy going on my mother’s show? How can this be happening?” Apple groaned, a scowl forming on her face as she sank into a chair.

“Oh, don’t be upset, Apple, that she didn’t tell you. I’m sure she’s going to. It all was just finalized like twenty minutes ago. That’s why Guy was so excited to tell your mother. Guy just had to race over to see if she left me any last-minute notes in the office. Happy is probably just overwhelmed right now thinking about what she’s going to wear!” Guy said.

“I can’t believe this,” Apple moaned.

“What? You’re not jealous, are you?”

“Oh, God, no! I just don’t want to talk about it.”

“Do you want Guy to give you a hug? Would that make you feel better?” he asked, pulling her into a hug before she could answer.

Apple was grateful to her mother for not telling Guy anything about her falling out with Happy. She didn’t want to explain to anyone else what she had done, or why she had done it. She untangled herself from Guy’s embrace. It hadn’t helped.

“So … what is the show’s topic?” Apple asked fretfully. “What exactly is Happy going to talk about?”

“It’s about relationship sabotaging. Well, relationship sabotaging part five or ten. We’ve done a lot of that show. Guy’s lost count of how many. We do the show
every season
. People just love it. You know,
everyone
can relate to it.”

“Why would Happy go
on television
in front of a million viewers to talk about that?” Apple asked.

“Sweetie, it’s more like
10 million
viewers. It was all last-minute. Guy was booking guests, because, thanks to your mother suddenly taking off, all was left on Guy’s shoulders. And Guy’s
rude
guest for Monday bailed on him last minute. I should have figured as much. The show
was
going to be about men who have gone AWOL on their relationships. This guy, our main guy, was dating someone for two years and then suddenly just stopped calling and returning calls. He just disappeared from the relationship. Poof! Gone! Remind Guy
never
to rely on men who go AWOL on their relationships
ever
again,” Guy said.

“Guy! Focus, please! Happy!” Apple said, jumping up and grabbing Guy by his slippery silk-shirted shoulders.

“Right. So anyway, just as Guy was freaking out with a capital F, wondering how he was going to get a last-minute guest to fill up Monday’s spot, an e-mail—a very
nice and literate e-mail, Guy might add—arrived in his inbox, from Happy. You know, she’s quite articulate. She’s got beauty and brains, that one. You’re lucky to have such a good friend like that.”

I
was
, Apple thought, despondently.

“And then what happened?” Apple pushed.

“Well, Happy suggested that
The Queen of Hearts
has such a huge following among teenagers that we should do a show specifically
on
teenagers. Don’t you think that’s
such
a good idea? It’s
brilliant
. And she offered herself up as a guest. Guy booked her, without even asking her what she could talk about, because she was so convincing. Also, Guy
was
in a bit of a panic to come up with a show. But then it came out that she just had this awful thing happen to her. A friend of hers tried to wreck her romance, and just before the Valentine Ball! Can you believe it? Anyway, Apple, isn’t that fantastic? I mean, not for Happy, but for the show. Do you know that girl she’s talking about?”

“Um, no,” Apple said. She couldn’t tell Guy. “I mean, I’m sure she’ll tell me when we talk,” she lied.

Apple was mortified. How could Happy do this to her? Oh, right. Why
wouldn’t
Happy do this to her?

“Don’t you have to run these things by my mother?” Apple asked. “I mean, doesn’t she need to know who the guests are going to be?”

Guy laughed. “Of course not! She trusts Guy to book the guests. She trusts Guy with
everything
.”

“I think you should call her and tell her,” Apple said. Maybe if her mother heard that Happy was going on her show to talk about relationship sabotaging,
she would put her foot down and try to save Apple, her only child, from national mortification.

“Are you kidding me?” exclaimed Guy. “And
disturb
her romantic getaway with your father? No way. You know, Apple, Guy shouldn’t be telling you this, but Guy really thinks this getaway is just the thing they need to get their marriage back on track. You might think that they have the
perfect
relationship, but even your mother and father need to make an effort sometimes. Even the Queen of Hearts could use some relationship therapy. You should have
seen
your father when he came to pick her up to go to the airport. He looked twenty years younger! So, no, Guy will
not
be disturbing them over this. And neither will
you
,” he added pointedly.

It was true—this was her parents’ first getaway in years. And Apple just couldn’t break her father’s heart by getting her mother to talk about work on their weekend away together. Especially not after Dr. Bee Bee Berg had actually listened to Apple’s thoughts on her marriage and was now trying to put effort into it.

“So are you going to find out from Happy exactly what she plans to say on the show?” Apple asked Guy. “I mean, don’t you pre-interview your guests?”

“Sometimes,” Guy answered. “But usually it’s better to not rehearse what they’re planning to say. It ruins the spontaneity. We’ll just get Happy to tell her story. You know, this could be Happy’s big break! Didn’t you say she always wanted to be an actress?”

“Yes,” gulped Apple. “She does.”

“Well, if she looks good on air, and speaks well, who knows what will come out of this for her! Don’t tell
anyone Guy said this, but viewers rarely remember what you
say
—they only remember if you looked good or not.
You’ll
have some idea of what Happy is going to talk about. You’re her best friend!” Guy said. “But what Guy
did
find out from her did sound pretty juicy!”

“Yes, I think I may have some idea,” said Apple almost to herself. She looked at Guy again. “Did my mother say when she was coming back?”

“She said she would come straight from the airport to the studio on Monday for the show,” Guy answered. He looked her up and down again. “God, girl. You should go take a hot bath with some essential oils and scented candles to relax you. You really do look like crap.” Then, with a “ta ta,” he sauntered out the door.

pple’s eyes stung Monday morning. She wasn’t sure if it was because of all the crying or from the lack of sleep—both of which had lasted the entire weekend. She felt like a convict. She hadn’t left the house at all. Nobody had called, and no matter how many times she checked for a dial tone, her phone was still perfectly functional. The lives of everyone around her seemed to be fine and dandy. Crazy Aunt Hazel was seeing someone—at least she had made it to date three, which was pretty good for Aunt Hazel. Her parents were having the time of their lives in Vegas. From the sound of giddiness in her mother’s voice on her voice-mail messages, it sounded like she was the teenager and Apple was the sober mother, worrying over what those two were up to.

She decided she couldn’t possibly go to school today, which wasn’t a problem for Crazy Aunt Hazel, who completely understood heartbreak. Her aunt was all about taking mental health days.

“Sometimes a gal just needs to take a mental health day,” she had said, happily, as she prepared to go to work. “But I can’t tell you how good I feel right now. Life is just so much better when you have someone to share it with—when you know someone is on your side, no matter what,” she said.

“Please, Aunt Hazel, not now,” begged Apple. “You’ve only been on three dates with this guy.”

“Sorry, hon. I just haven’t been this happy in a long, long time. This is it. He’s the one! I’m so sure of it this time,” she rhapsodized.

“And I’m happy for you. I am,” said Apple, trying to sound more convinced than she felt. Not only was she a ball of misery, but she hated seeing her aunt get so excited about men when they usually turned out to be nothing but a bust.

After Hazel left, Apple headed back to her bedroom, planning on sleeping all day. But she couldn’t. In nine hours, once Happy went on
The Queen of Hearts
and shared her story, Apple would officially be finished. She would be the laughing stock of the entire school. And the laughing stock of the entire country. Maybe the world—who knew where else
The Queen of Hearts
aired? She slipped out of bed and headed downstairs in her pajamas to watch television. Maybe watching
Minors in Malibu
reruns would make her life seem even-keeled. Hottie Gabe was in the middle of sleeping with his ex-girlfriend’s mother. His life was
way
more complicated.

The phone rang at exactly noon.

“Apple!” said Brooklyn. “You’re there!”

“Yes, I’m here,” said Apple despondently.

“Why aren’t you at school? Are you sick? You sound tired. I have these vitamin B drops that really give you energy.”

“You know why I’m not at school. My life is over. I didn’t even think that you were still talking to me,” Apple said anxiously.

“Apple, of course I’m still talking to you. I think you just lost your way for a bit. And your life is so
not
over. Don’t be dramatic. My guru says that you should never be judgmental about anyone, including yourself. It’s just wasted energy,” Brooklyn whispered into her cell phone. Apparently, the Helicopter had given it back.

“Yeah, well, I’m sure you’ve heard what happened. How can my life not be over? You know that Happy is going on my mother’s show today, right?”

“Yeah, she told me,” said Brooklyn. “She didn’t really get into much detail. But at least her dream is finally coming true. You know she’s always wanted to be a guest on
The Queen of Hearts!
We should all be happy for her.”

“Brooklyn!” Apple cried. “What about
me?
What am I going to do? Do you think
I
should be happy about it?”

“Listen,” Brooklyn said seriously. “I really think you should try talking to Happy again.”

“I don’t think she’ll talk to me,” Apple whimpered.

“Go to her. Go talk to her in person. Don’t be a coward and call her on the phone. Come on, Apple,” Brooklyn prodded. “I know you can do it. You just have to think positively. If you put out positive vibes, then only positive things will come your way. You should really talk to her in person.”

“I’ll think about it,” Apple promised.

“And remember, Apple, just breathe. If you concentrate on your breathing, you’ll stop obsessing about everything else in your life. Be zen about it all. Oops! Sorry, I didn’t mean to use that word. You know what I meant when I said be zen about it, right?”

“Yes, Brooklyn. Don’t worry,” Apple laughed lightly. “I haven’t completely lost my mind. My best friend, maybe.”

“Listen, Apple, I should go. I have to eat now and maybe get a few minutes of stretching in before classes start after lunch. I’ll call you later, okay?”

“Thanks, Brooklyn.”

“Remember, think positively! Peace and love,” Brooklyn said, hanging up.

Maybe Brooklyn was right. Even though Apple had done a shitty thing, Brooklyn was still speaking to her. She still cared enough to check in on her.

Maybe Apple
should
at least attempt to be zen. Her life could be worse, after all. She watched a couple more hours of
Minors in Malibu
, thinking about her conversation with Brooklyn.

Brooklyn was probably right. She had to speak to Happy in person. But first there was one other person she knew she would eventually need to talk to. And what better time than the present? She picked up the phone and dialed the number.

“Zen?” Apple wasn’t expecting Zen to answer. She had been expecting voice mail.

“Yes, who’s this?” he asked.

“It’s me. Apple.”

“Oh, Apple, hi,” he said, sounding surprised but not unfriendly.

“Am I catching you at a bad time?”

“No, actually, I was just leaving Happy’s house. We skipped classes this afternoon.”

“Oh. Well, I’m calling because I guess I just want to apologize from the bottom of my heart to you for what I did. I never meant to hurt anyone, especially not you or Happy. Things just got totally out of hand,” Apple said quickly. The words gushed out.

“Why did you do it, Apple?” Zen asked. “I mean, if you want to tell me.”

Was it better to tell Zen how she had felt? Was there any point? But she figured she had nothing to lose now.

“I just liked you, you know,” Apple said.

Zen didn’t respond. Apple wasn’t sure if he understood what she was getting at. Or maybe he hadn’t heard her.

“I
liked
you liked you,” she said, trying again. “Are you still there?”

“Yes, I’m still here,” he said. “I really had no idea.”

“I guess I tried to show you in my own way, but I didn’t do a very good job.”

“I guess not,” Zen said, giving a chuckle. Even Apple smiled.

“For the longest time I’ve had a crush on you,” she confessed. “But every time I tried to talk to you about anything, it seemed to backfire. Remember when I tried to talk to you about basketball? Remember how awkward that was? And I could never be with someone who wasn’t addicted to television. And I hate all sports. And I hate cars.”

“God, Apple, I really had no idea how you felt,” Zen said again, sounding confused. “So … you don’t feel that way about me anymore?”

“No,” Apple said. She was surprised. But she knew it was mostly true. “I realize we don’t have anything in common. I even volunteered for the clothing drive only to spend more time with you, not out of the goodness of my heart, like you did. But that failed too,” Apple said. “I’m sorry, Zen. I am. It’s like my mother always says, ‘Never underestimate what heartbreak can do to a girl.’”

“Does your mother really say that, or are you making that one up too?” Zen asked, but Apple could hear the smile in his voice. She started to relax.

“No, she really does say that,” she answered, laughing.

“Well, thanks for calling, Apple. I just got home and I have to be somewhere pretty soon. So, I guess I’ll speak to you later?” he said.

“Wait. So will you forgive me?” Apple pressed.

“Sure, I’ll forgive you. Just don’t ever let it happen again.”

“Do you think Happy will forgive me?” Apple asked, more self-consciously.

“I’m not sure, Apple. The only one who knows that is Happy.”

“Right.”

“I’ll see you around, Apple,” he said, and hung up.

She got off the phone, slightly wounded but relieved. It hadn’t been so bad. Then she saw that there was a voice-mail message. It was her mother again, telling her she was back in town, heading directly from the airport to the studio.

Apple knew she had to speak to Happy in person before the show. And she knew the one place she would definitely find her. She had to rush and get ready if she was going to make it on time to face Happy once and for all.