Ruin (Dirty Secrets #3) (4 page)

I take a deep breath.

And then let it out.

How am I supposed to tell him without sounding like a complete freak?

“Do you remember when we were fourteen and you came with my grandma, Trey, and me to Hawaii on vacation?” I ask.

He nods. “How could I forget? You wore that hot pink bikini, and your boobs… man, I had a hard on the whole trip.”

I giggle. “Jace!”

“Just being honest.”

I bite my lip and shake my head at him. “Well, do you remember the day we went cliff-diving?”

“Of course. You were scared to death, but you just ran and jumped. You were so brave.”

“When I look at you, that is how I feel,” I tell him. “It’s like I’m looking from the top of the cliff at the crashing waves. My stomach is full of butterflies, and I’m nervous, but more than nervous. I am excited. You make my head spin. You make my palms sweaty. But I’m not scared to jump — not when it comes to you. I have that feeling of free-falling. I don’t think that feeling will ever go away, and I don’t want it to.”

“Good,” he says. “Because I don’t want it to go away either.”

“So, did you mean what you said earlier?” I ask.

“Which part?”

“The no fornicating part.”

Jace glances over at me and groans. “Madi, do you have any idea how sexy you are?”

My face warms. “Um…”

“I want to go slow with you, but you’re making it very hard.”

Hard?

I can’t help it, I laugh.

“I am glad to know that I make it… hard.”

Jace laughs. “Well, that too.”

“Did you really have
no clue
how I felt about you?” I ask him.

“Really, I didn’t.”

“What did you think about all the flirting, the prolonged dreamy stares and sex jokes?”

“God, I don’t know,” he answers. “You’ve just
always
been that way with me, and me with you. I guess I just thought that was our normal.”

“Well, I am definitely not like this with anybody else.”

“Did you know that
I
liked you?” he asks.

“Looking back, yeah. It was kind of obvious,” I answer. “But I was afraid of rejection. There was always the
what if
in my mind.”

“Do I live up to the fantasy?”

“Fantasy?”

“Yeah. I mean, I’m sure you
imagined
what it would be like when we got together. Do I live up?” he asks.

“Jace, how am I supposed to answer that? It’s kind of an embarrassing question.”

“Am I a good kisser?”

I nod. “Yeah. I think you’re awesome. But then again, I haven’t kissed anybody besides you, so…”

“Right,” he says, grinning at me. “You know, I really like that we will be each other’s first everything. And last.”

“Me too.”

“You don’t think it’s weird that I’m a seventeen year old virgin?”

“Considering I am too, no,” I tell him. “Besides, you were waiting for me. That’s pretty much the hottest thing ever.”

“You’re kind of perfect.”

“Kind of?” I ask, raising an eyebrow.

“Hey, I’ve known you thirteen years. I know
all
your flaws,” he says.

“Like what?”

“You’re a really good liar. Even Trey can’t figure out when you’re lying,” Jace says.

“But you always know.”

“I can tell when you’re about to lie, but that’s because I pay an unhealthy amount of attention to you. Also, you are really good at getting your way. You have a way with words… it’s like you manipulate people without even realizing it.”

Those aren’t really
bad
traits to have.

Well, I guess good at lying is. But it’s also handy.

“You’re not so perfect either,” I say, jokingly.

“I’d love to hear this.” He takes the turn into the parking lot of the restaurant.

“First off, you’re stubborn—”

He cuts me off as he pulls into a parking spot. “You’re one to talk.”

I laugh. “You’re right, but at least I admit it. And no more interrupting.”

“Okay. Sorry. Continue.”

“You keep your feelings bottled up. You never let anybody know how you truly feel. You say I’m a good liar, but you are too. You have a mask,” I tell him. “But I can read your eyes. So I know.”

Jace unbuckles my seatbelt and scoots me closer to him. “This is why I know that you’re the girl I’m going to marry.”

“Why?” I ask, hoping that he can’t hear how hard my heart is beating.

“Besides the fact that you’re desperately in love with me… you know me better than anybody else. You see
me
. I swear, sometimes I think you know me better than
I
know me,” he says. “Also, because I’d rather have my heart ripped apart with a machete than spend the rest of my life
without
you.”

“That’s violent.”

“I love you, Madi. So freaking much.”

“I love you too, Jace.”

“Does it freak you out that I tell you I’m going to marry you?” he asks.

I shake my head. “No way, because I feel the exact same way.”

“Good.” Jace kisses me gently on the lips for just a second, then backs away. “Let’s go get some food.”

12am

Forever?

After a very long goodnight kiss from Jace, I am now standing against the living room door with my hand over my heart. It’s beating so fast and hard — really, it has been like this all night long.

I am so in love with Jace Axel William.

“About time.”

I jump when I hear Trey’s voice.

“Did you have a good night?” he asks.

“Have you been waiting up for me?”

“You’re my sister. Of course I have.”

I shake my head at him. “Well, I had an amazing night. Jace was a complete gentleman. All he did was hold my hand and give me a kiss.”

And earth shattering kiss.

The kind of kiss that changes lives… at least, it changed my life.

“You really like him, don’t you?”

“I love him,” I answer automatically.

He groans.

“Trey, I am so serious. I love him. A lot.”

“I know you do. You always have,” he says. “I guess I just hoped you two would wait a few more years.”

“Because thirteen years wasn’t long enough?”

He laughs. “I just assumed you two would be older. I actually figured that one day you two would fly to Vegas and come back married.”

“If we were old enough, I’d definitely marry him.”

“Yeah, okay. Maybe we shouldn’t talk about this now. I’m so not ready for you to even
think
about getting married.”

“How did everything go tonight?” I ask.

“Fine. Ben stayed in Mom’s room — like always.”

“I wonder what he does in there.”

“I don’t think we
want
to know,” he says. “He probably watches porn.”

“Ew.”

“I’m glad you had fun tonight. I’m going to go to bed now. I’m tired.”

I push myself off the door. “Me too.”

We walk up the stairs together. We both tell each other
goodnight
before walking into our own rooms. I change into my pajamas and check my phone before I go to sleep. I have a text from Jace.

<3 Jace:
I had fun tonight.

Me:
I did too :)

<3 Jace:
Just so you know, I am thinking about you… Wishing you were here. I want to hold you while I go to sleep.

Me:
That sounds perfect. But if I were there, I’d want to do a lot more than cuddle.

<3 Jace:
You just made it worse.

Me:
LOL, sorry.

<3 Jace:
You are so not sorry.

Me:
No, I’m not ;)

<3 Jace:
I want another goodnight kiss.

Me:
My heart is STILL beating fast from our last kiss.

<3 Jace:
I love that I affect you like that :)

Me:
Ditto.

<3 Jace:
How is it possible to love somebody so much?

Me:
I don’t know… but I’m glad you feel this way. God, I feel like I’m dreaming right now.

<3 Jace:
If this is a dream, I don’t want to wake up. But I’m pretty sure that not even my sub conscious could dream up something as amazing as your lips.

Me:
<3

<3 Jace:
Goodnight, Madi. I love you.

Me:
Good night. I love you too.

<3 Jace:
Forever?

Me:
Forever.

Monday, September 1

No cheating.

After my early morning run, I meet Cassidy and Frannie at the diner that Frannie and her mom works at. When I get there, Cassidy is waiting in a booth in the back. Frannie still has a few minutes until her break, so I sit with Cassidy.

“How are you?” I ask her.

I haven’t seen her since Emma went missing. Cassidy is definitely the emotional one out of all of us. I know she has to be taking this hard.

“I feel guilty,” she answers. “I should’ve gone to the police like you wanted. If we would have, Emma never would’ve disappeared.”

“You can’t blame yourself,” I say. “It’s not your fault. Even Detective Condie told me that he knows
why
we didn’t come to him. It was scary. And while I know we made the wrong decision, we can’t regret it. The cops are going to find them. Daisy and Emma are going to be returned to us. Safely.”

She sighs. “You’re right, Mads.”

Before I can say anything else, Frannie comes over with three plates full of food. My stomach growls as I look down at the steam coming off the biscuits and chocolate gravy. My favorite.

I smile at Frannie. “I love you.”

She laughs. “I know.”

I take a big bite of my food. It burns my tongue, but I don’t even care.

“So. Good,” I say with a mouth full of food. Forget table manners.

“Luke is throwing another party tonight,” Frannie says.

My eyes widen. “Is he forgetting that somebody was kidnapped last time he threw a party?”

“Please, you know Luke hates Emma,” Cassidy says. “He’s probably throwing this party to celebrate the fact that she’s missing.”

“Actually, I didn’t. Why does he hate her?”

“Because she turned him down,” Frannie answers. “I thought everybody knew.”

“Emma turned down Luke?” I ask, still not believing it. Emma doesn’t turn guys down. Actually, girls don’t turn down Luke either.

“Yeah. In front of everybody. He asked her to homecoming our sophomore year and she laughed in his face,” Frannie says. “She was actually kind of rude about the whole thing… told him he was the last guy she would ever want to go to homecoming with.”

“Harsh,” I say.

And not at all like Emma. I mean, sure, she has her bitchy moments, but she’s usually not that blatantly rude.

Cassidy nods in agreement.

“So, the party tonight…” Frannie says. “Are we going?”

“I don’t know…” Just as the words leave my mouth, all three of our phones go off at the same time. My heart stops momentarily before it jumps into overdrive. Hesitantly, we all reach toward our phones.

Blocked ID:
Be at Luke’s party tonight. I will have a surprise for you.

My phone goes off again, but only mine this time.

Blocked ID:
And this time, no cheating. You owe me a game.

I show Frannie and Cassidy my text.

“What should we do?” I ask.

“Tell the police,” Cassidy says.

We all agree.

“And then I guess we are going to a party tonight,” Frannie says.

I sit back against the booth.

I really hope I don’t end up in the hospital this time.

11am

You better stay sober tonight.

Detective Condie meets the three of us at the diner. At that point, he tells us we don’t need to go to the party. And we all tell him that we can’t just
not
go. Though we probably should skip out… I don’t
want
to. I don’t want this person to ruin my life — not that they haven’t done a pretty good job of that already.

“Did Hayden get a text too?” he asks us.

“I don’t know,” Frannie answers for us all.

“Isn’t she your best friend too?” he asks.

Frannie bites her lip. She tends to do that a lot when she’s nervous. “Yeah, sort of. I guess. She was always closer to Emma and Dee. Cass, Madi, and I always stick together. I mean, the six of us are all close, but I’m closer to Cass and Mads.”

“Why do you think that is?” he asks.

“Because Cass is my stepsister and Madi is pretty much the nicest person ever,” she says. “Emma and Hayden always put up with Dee’s drama. In fact, they thrived on it. It worked out well for all of us this way. The six of us together rule the school.”

The detective nods like he knows what we’re talking about, but I can tell he’s clueless. “Okay, well I guess if you’re all insistent on going to the party tonight, I will have to have an officer stationed there.”

“NO!” We all three say at the same time.

Mostly because of what goes on at Luke’s parties.

Underage drinking.

Occasionally people will smoke weed.

Detective Condie raises an eyebrow. “You realize that one of your best friends got kidnapped at the last party. This could easily be one of you three tonight.”

“Well, it won’t be. My brother will be there. And my boyfriend. I’m pretty sure after what happened last time, they won’t let me out of their sight. Fran and Cass will stick with me,” I tell him. “We definitely
won’t
be separating this time.”

Frannie and Cassidy both nod enthusiastically.

“You three are being ridiculous.”

I lean forward. “Look, Detective… I know you were a teenager once. Sometimes… at parties… we do stuff that you probably wouldn’t agree with.”

He smirks. “I’m not trying to bust anybody for underage drinking. I’m trying to bring two girls back home to their families. I’ll make sure the guys I station there are inconspicuous. Nobody will get in trouble, I assure you.”

“Are you serious?” My mouth falls open.

“Completely,” he promises. “But word to the wise — the three of you better stay sober tonight. If anything goes down, I need you all to have a clear head.”