Authors: Richard Templar
THE
RULES
OF
LIFE
A personal code for living a
better, happier, and more
successful kind of life
Expanded Edition
RICHARD TEMPLAR
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©2011 by Pearson Education, Inc.
Publishing as FT Press
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Authorized adaptation from the original UK edition, entitled
The Rules of Life
, Second Edition, by Richard Templar, published by Pearson Education Limited,
©Pearson Education 2010.
This U.S. adaptation is published by Pearson Education Inc,
©2010 by arrangement with Pearson Education Ltd, United Kingdom.
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Printed in the United States of America
First Printing November 2010
ISBN-10: 0-13-248556-7
ISBN-13: 978-0-13-248556-2
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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Templar, Richard, 1950-2006.
The rules of life : a personal code for living a better, happier, more successful life / Richard Templar. — Expanded ed.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references and index.
ISBN 978-0-13-248556-2 (pbk. : alk. paper) 1. Conduct of life. I. Title.
BJ1581.2.T42 2011
158.1—dc22
2010038220
Dedication
This book is dedicated to Miyamoto Musashi, who taught me the strategy of simplicity, and Jamie Greenwood, who taught me
economy of movement. I am indeed deeply
indebted to both of them
No Fear
No Surprise
No Hesitation
No Doubt
Contents
Introduction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .viii Acknowledgements . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .xii
Part I
Rules for You
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
1
1
Keep It Under Your Hat . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .4
2
You’ll Get Older But Not Necessarily Wiser . . . . . . . . . . . . .6
3
Accept What Is Done Is Done . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .8
4
Accept Yourself . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .10
5
Know What Counts and What Doesn’t . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .12
6
Dedicate Your Life to Something . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .14
7
Be Flexible in Your Thinking . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .16
8
Take an Interest in the Outside World . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .18
9
Be on the Side of the Angels, Not the Beasts . . . . . . . . . . .20
10
Only Dead Fish Swim with the Stream . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .22
11
Be the Last to Raise Your Voice . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .24
12
Be Your Own Adviser . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .26
13
No Fear, No Surprise, No Hesitation, No Doubt . . . . . . . . .28
14
I Wish I’d Done That—and I Will . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .30
15
It’s OK to Give Up . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .32
16
Count to Ten—or Recite “Baa Baa Black Sheep” . . . . . . . .34
17
Change What You Can Change; Let Go of the Rest . . . . .36
18
Aim to Be the Very Best at Everything You Do—
Not Second Best . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .38
19
Don’t Expect to Be Perfect . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .40
20
Don’t Be Afraid to Dream . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .42
21
If You’re Going to Jump Off a Bridge, Make Sure You Know How Deep the Water Is . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .44
22
Don’t Dwell on the Past . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .46
23
Don’t Live in the Future . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .48
24
Get on With Life—It’s Whooshing Past . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .50
25
Be Consistent . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .52
26
Dress Like Today Is Important . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .54
27
Have a Belief System . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .56
iv
T H E R U L E S O F L I F E
28
Leave a Little Space for Yourself Each Day . . . . . . . . . . . . .58
29
Have a Plan . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .60
30
Have a Sense of Humor . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .62
31
Choose How You Make Your Bed . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .64
32
Life Can Be a Bit Like Advertising . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .66
33
Get Used to Stepping Outside Your Comfort Zone . . . . . . .68
34
Learn to Ask Questions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .70
35
Have Dignity . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .72
36
It’s OK to Feel Big Emotions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .74
37
Keep the Faith . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .76
38
You’ll Never Understand Everything . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .78
39
Know Where True Happiness Comes From . . . . . . . . . . . .80
40
Life Is a Pizza . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .82
41
Know When to Let Go—When to Walk Away . . . . . . . . . . . .84
42
Retaliation Leads to Escalation . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .86
43
Look After Yourself . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .88
44
Maintain Good Manners in All Things . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .90
45
Prune Your Stuff Frequently . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .92
46
Remember to Touch Base . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .94
47
Draw the Lines Around Yourself . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .96
48
Shop for Quality, Not Price . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .98
49
It’s OK to Worry, or to Know How Not To . . . . . . . . . . . . . .100
50
Stay Young . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .102
51
Throwing Money at a Problem Doesn’t Always Work . . . .104
52
Think for Yourself . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .106
53
You Are Not in Charge . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .108
54
Have Something in Your Life That Takes You Out of Yourself . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .110
55
Only the Good Feel Guilty . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .112
56
If You Can’t Say Anything Nice, Don’t Say Anything at All . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .114
Part II Partnership Rules
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
117
57
Accept the Differences, Embrace What You Have in Common . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .120
58
Allow Your Partner the Space to Be Themselves . . . . . . .122
59
Be Nice . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .124
C O N T E N T S
v
60
You Want to Do What? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .126
61
Be the First to Say Sorry . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .128
62
Go That Extra Step in Trying to Please Them . . . . . . . . . .130
63
Always Have Someone—or Something—That Is Pleased to See You . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .132
64
Know When to Listen and When to Act . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .134
65
Have a Passion for Your Life Together . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .136
66
Make Sure Your Love Making Is Making Love . . . . . . . . . .138
67
Keep Talking . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .140
68
Respect Privacy . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .142
69
Check You Both Have the Same Shared Goals . . . . . . . . .144
70
Treat Your Partner Better Than Your Best Friend . . . . . . .146
71
Contentment Is a High Aim . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .148
72
You Don’t Both Have to Have the Same Rules . . . . . . . . .150
Part III Family and Friends Rules
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
153
73
If You Are Going to Be a Friend, Be a Good Friend . . . . . .156
74
Never Be Too Busy for Loved Ones . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .158
75
Let Your Kids Mess Up for Themselves—They Don’t Need Any Help from You . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .160
76
Have a Little Respect and Forgiveness for Your Parents . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .162
77
Give Your Kids a Break . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .164
78
Never Lend Money Unless You Are Prepared to Write It Off . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .166
79
Keep Quiet . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .168
80
There Are No Bad Children . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .170
81
Be Up Around People You Love . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .172
82
Give Your Kids Responsibilities . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .174
83
Your Children Need to Fall Out with You to Leave Home . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .176