Running Northwest (25 page)

“Oh yeah we’re gunna do all kinds of stuff, I’m bigger now so we can do cooler things than we did the last time he was here” Daniel said excitedly.

“Very cool, he’s going to be surprised at how big you’ve gotten since you saw him last” Thomas said then adding “so I was thinking since it’s a nice night out maybe could go for a walk with the dogs and maybe catch a good sunset. I’ve got a few things I want to talk to you about”

“Is it gunna be one of I’m in trouble kind of talks Dad
?
” Daniel asked.

“Umm, no, I don’t think so, is there something you should be in trouble for?” his dad asked in return.

“No, not that I’m aware of” the boy said and then adding “But I am almost eight years old now so who knows, these things just sort of happen” Daniel said joking.

“It’s true they do happen sometimes,” Thomas said trying not to laugh and giving his son a knowing look then adding, “So how about that walk”?

“Can I put shorts on and walk barefoot?” the boy asked slowly as if he were testing his dad.

“Sure thing bud, but grab a sweater or something warm to wear on top – it’s getting cool out. Get Harley and Layla’s leashes and we can take them with us. I’ll be ready to go in a few” Thomas said.

The boy smiled a big toothy grin and ran to his room as fast as his little legs would take him. Thomas walked into his room to grab a hooded sweatshirt to wear since the wind had picked up a little bit. He sat briefly on the edge of the bed, and as he did, his eyes wondered slowly to the picture of Sarah, Daniel mother.

He sighed deeply then his sight wandered to another picture that was on top of his dresser. It was of a woman from his past, the woman that drove him back to the Oregon Coast as fast as the wind would take him. He spent a long time trying to hate her and in the end never could. He spent even longer trying to let her disappear from his heart, something that still had not completely happened yet. Everyone has their “one that got away” and she was his. But every once in a while he thought of her and what she was up to, but he refused to contact her since he had completely removed her from his life. A moment later, he stood up and walked out of his bedroom to the calls of his 7-year-old son who was ready to go.

A half an hour later Thomas, his son and their two dogs were walking down the beach that was more or less their backyard and talking about school, sports, whales and a few other different things. They passed a few of their more distant neighbors as they slowly made their way down the beach waving hello as they went along. The wind had picked up even more since they left their house and the father and son were enjoying watching waves that were also getting bigger hit the shore. Harley and Layla were busy running in and out of the surf and smelling anything they could. A few minutes later, they came upon the remains of a tree that had washed up on shore at some point. The log was dried out and smooth and white from sitting in the sun. Thomas thought in his mind that this was a good place to stop and talk to his son.

“Hey Daniel let’s stop here for a bit okay” he said.

“Sure thing Dad it works for me” the boy answered as he slowly hopped up on one end of the log and down towards the other end before sitting down. Thomas called the two dogs to come over by him and told them to lie down. He then joined his son and sat down on the log next to him.

“Want a juice box Kiddo,” Thomas said

“Sure I’m kind of thirsty” the boy replied then saying thanks after Thomas reached into the pocket on his pant leg and pulled one out and handing it to Daniel.

“So Dad, what’s up
?
” the boy said as he looked up at his dad curiously
.

“Well you’re just all sorts of ready for this talk huh,” Thomas said slightly amused as he tried to figure out how to sit comfortably on a log he was sure God intended only for kids to sit on.

“I think I know what it’s about already Dad,” the boy said as he looked up at his dad in an attempt to eyeball him.

“Oh really, do you now?” Thomas replied, not sure if his son really had an idea but amused nonetheless.

“Yeah I think so,” the boy said as he let his gaze rest out on the ocean.

“Care to enlighten your old man to what he’s thinking” Thomas said very curious now as to what his son thought he knew and maybe very well did know.

“Sure thing Dad, you’re going to talk to me about you and Tracie maybe being boyfriend and girlfriend,” the boy blurted out. He said it with a small smile on his face, not letting his gaze move from the ocean in front of him.

Thomas almost fell off the log he was so shocked. It was rare for him to be called out by anyone. However, it was even rarer to be called out by his nearly 8-year-old son. The boy was bright and very intuitive though, but every so often, he even surprised his own father.

“And what makes you think that buddy
?
” Thomas finally said.

“Come on, Dad. I’m only almost eight but you taught me to notice details; to notice the little things people do and say…you are the best at that, Dad. I learned from the best. Besides, you and Tracie are kind of transparent,” the boy said as he looked up and smiled at his dad knowingly.

“Well thanks buddy I appreciate the compliment, and it appears you’re pretty good yourself,” Thomas said as he patted his son’s back lightly.

“Thanks Dad, you’re a good teacher” the boy replied as he poked his dad with his tiny elbow.

“So…we’re “transparent”, huh? Where did you learn that word?” Thomas asked.

“School Dad, don’t forget I’m pretty smart,” the boy said.

“Very true you are and I won’t ever forget that” Thomas said then adding, “So how did you know”

“Well…” the boy started saying then pausing before continuing “last night when Tracie was watching me she said something when she was on the phone with Aunt Erin but I can’t remember what exactly. And you two have been acting odd since the other night at dinner. I know how girls can get when they like a boy Dad; they get all goofy and weird and stuff. And us boys do it too but we don’t like to show it as much…you know because we got to be tough and all that. There were a few other things too but I can’t remember them” Daniel said sounding like he was much older than his age allowed sometimes.

“Oh really, so we’re acting goofy and stuff huh” Thomas asked trying not to fall back from laughing.

“Oh yeah, you’re so acting goofy…BOTH of you, and I know she likes you a lot because that’s what she told Erin” Daniel said.

“She said that huh” Thomas asked.

“She sure did Dad” the boy answered with a smile.

“So how do you feel about it…the whole me and Tracie dating thing
?
” Thomas asked.

“Well…I think I’m okay with it Dad, I mean it’s something grownups are supposed to do. I was a little mad at you though because you sort of stole the girl I liked. But she’s a little old for me anyway I think,” the boy answered.

“Well I didn’t mean to steal her buddy, if you want me to back off I will” Thomas asked and saying it purely to test his son.

“Nah Dad that’s okay, there’s a girl at school that likes me. So I think it works better this way for both of us.” Daniel said.

“So you’re okay with your dad dating, or at least trying to date again? I was a little worried how you would feel about it since your mom passed away. It took me a while to be okay with it myself, I still miss her a lot” Thomas asked trying to gage what son was thinking.

“Dad, we were both sad when Mom died…really sad, for a long time. And I know if she had not died in the accident you and her would have gotten married, you told me that. And we all would have been together” the boy said quietly.

“That’s right I did, and I would have and I wish every day that we could be” Thomas replied as his mind started mixing thoughts and wondering whether this conversation was the best idea he ever had.

“Me too…but Dad, Mom loved us both and she would not have wanted us to be sad forever. She’s out there in heaven watching us every day you know, and she wants us to be happy” the boy said as he pointed out to the now setting sun.

“Out there is where heaven’s at buddy, by the setting sun?” Thomas asked.

“That’s what I think yeah, because that’s what Mom used to tell me. She used to say that a sunset on the ocean is like seeing a little bit of heaven, and that heaven is where people go when they die. So that is where Mom lives now…with the angels Dad” Daniel said thoughtfully and smiling the same way he used to smile at his mother.

“Sounds good to me big man, sounds perfect” Thomas said simply.

Thomas was not a man who cried often, let alone in front of people. The last time he broke down was about a month after Sarah died, and that was in front of Derrick. Now, with what his son had just said he was nearly on the verge of doing it again. He could feel his eyes start to tear up slowly. In his entire world as it stands now, the only person he felt he had to answer to and whose opinion mattered was his sons.

“You know Daniel, this doesn’t mean I don’t love your mom anymore, you know that right” Thomas said after taking a moment to calm down.

“O
h yeah Dad I know that and I know that you always will, just like I always will. Besides I knew this was going to happen eventually anyway,” the boy said quietly.

“A
nd how did you know that”? Thomas asked wondering what the boy meant.

“Well…remember after Mom
’
s accident and we had to go through all those dumb meeting
s
with those one doctors who liked to talk to us about our feelings and all that
?
” the boy asked.

“Yeah buddy I remember them” he said.

Thomas could not forget those meetings; they went on for months after Sarah died. They were understandable at first and purely for Daniel
’s
sake, grief counseling is what they called it and it helped him a lot without a doubt. He still had them every few months at school in half hour sessions usually. However, when Thomas started the process of getting legal custody and adopting Daniel, Thomas himself was required to take them; to deem whether he would be a fit father to Daniel or not. Some sessions he did by himself, some with Daniel, and then the interviews with family and friends. Thomas and Daniel found them very annoying eventually. Even now, someone from the state would stop by the house, usually every six months or so and spend some time with the two of them. Harley and Layla hated the woman that had come over the last two times; they growled at her when she arrived and when she got too close to Daniel. The worst part was over and the rest was just stuff the boy and his father had learned to live with.

“The new lady that I talk to at school sometimes, Miranda I think is her name. Well she told me a while back that eventually you may start trying to date again, like you and mom used to date” the boy said.

“Did she really” Thomas said trying to be calm and wondering if Miranda had crossed some sort of line with talking to his son about something like that.

“Yeppers Dad, she said that it was normal when things like this happen sometimes. And she said that I shouldn’t be upset with you or at least try” Daniel said with a smile on his face.

“So you’re not mad at me for dating and you’re gunna be okay with this,” Thomas asked.

“Sure Dad, I mean it’s gunna be weird for a while I guess, but probably like it will be weird for you to see me kiss a girl huh. Besides, I really like Tracie a lot Dad. She is really cool and fun and pretty too. But not as pretty as Mom was, but don’t tell Tracie I said that, it would be mean maybe. But I’m glad you’re not dating her cousin Alex…she’s kind of…I don’t know, not right I guess” the boy said.

“Yeah that Alexis is kind of different that’s for sure. But I’m glad you like Tracie so much Daniel, it kind of makes me a little more comfortable with dating her since you like her” Thomas said then asking “so what do you know about kissing girls buddy
?
”

“Umm…that sometimes boys and girls kiss, and that you only kiss a girl if you really like her a lot. Mom told me that when I was little after I saw you and her kiss once” Daniel exclaimed then adding “but I don’t know how to kiss girls the right way yet so I haven’t tried”

Thomas could not help himself and laughed hard at what his son just said. “Well your mom was right Kiddo; you never ever kiss a girl until you really like her I’ll explain why when you get a little older. Try not to worry about the kissing thing too much though; you have plenty of time to learn. It’s something us boys take a long time to learn it seems, even I mess up sometimes” Thomas replied.

“Okay, gotcha Dad. I just do not know how I feel about a girl’s tongue in my mouth…it seems like it would feel weird,” the boy said as he jumped off the log and leaned down to pet Layla’s furry belly.

Thomas laughed again as he looked out on the horizon catching the last glimpses of the reddish sun before it set and said, “Well that’s a talk you and I will have some other time, Big Man – maybe when you’re a little older,” he laughed. “How about we head back home, give the dogs a bath and have us a snack?”

“Sweet! How about pizza?” the boy asked as he slowly walked down the beach and going ankle deep into the ocean surf.