Ruthless (3 page)

He grabbed her waist and pulled her flush against him. “I’m gonna take you upstairs, tie you to my bed, and make love to you all night long.”

Everyone who knew Luc recognized he had an iron will. What they didn’t know was that he had a weak spot, and she was looking up at him with big, blue, expressive eyes. Her head and her heart were waging a battle inside her. He knew because he was facing the same conflict. After he accepted the fact that he couldn’t persuade her to take him back after their break-up, he swore he wouldn’t call, text, or email her again. He wouldn’t take her out for dinner, they wouldn’t meet for drinks, and they would never share the same bed again. He had to set some clear boundaries or risk falling into the trap of giving her everything she wanted to the detriment of what he wanted. Yet, here he was, ready to get down on his knees and beg her to indulge the craving they shared. No one else had ever made him feel the way Marisa did, in or out of bed. They hadn’t made love in almost a year, and he needed her more now than ever.

“Please, don’t say no,” he whispered, cupping her face in his hands. “I need you tonight, sweetheart.”

Her eyes fluttered closed and she released a soft breath. “Please don’t do this.”

“I can’t help it.” He brought her lips to his, aching to taste them again. He traced the seam of her lips with his tongue and was gratified when he felt her sway toward him. He buried his hands in her thick, black hair and tugged her head back to expose the long column of her neck. He nipped gently at the sweet spot that he knew would reduce her to a quivering mass of need. He knew every inch of her body, and he wasn’t above using that knowledge to convince her to share that sexy body with him tonight.

“If you were horny, why didn’t you text one of your booty calls?” she asked, flattening her palms against his bare chest. “I’m sure one of them would have been more than happy to oblige.”

He growled and punished her by sucking the delicate skin on her neck deep into his mouth. Let her try and explain that to her cowboy.

“You didn’t answer me,” she whispered.

He fisted her hair in his hands and hauled her head back. He left a moist trail from the base of her throat to her ear, where he finally paused long enough to draw her earlobe between his teeth. He pulled back. She was wearing earrings, big diamond earrings, just like the ones he tried to give her for her birthday.

“Where did you get those?”

She moaned and pierced his back with her fingernails. “What are you talking about?”

He flicked the round diamond studs adorning her ears. “I’m talking about these. Who the hell gave them to you?”

She opened her eyes and glared at him. “What business is it of yours?”

“Answer me, right now.” He snarled, still holding her firmly against him. “Did your boyfriend give those to you?”

She raised her chin and looked up at him defiantly. “Are you jealous, Luc?”

“Every goddamn time I see you with him.” His breathing was ragged, and he was seconds away from hauling her down to the floor and making her forget him. “I hate him. I hate that he’s making love to you every night. I lie in bed thinking about him putting his hands on you and I want to kill him.” He cupped her full breast in his hand. “End it with him, Marisa.” He knew he was being irrational, but he couldn’t help himself. He loved her. The thought of her falling in love with someone else terrified him.

Her hands skimmed his shoulders and she began to knead the tense muscles in his back and shoulders. “You’re tied up in knots,” she murmured.

He grinned. “I know of a great stress reliever.”

She rolled her eyes and shook her head. “I’ll just bet you do.” She looked him in the eye. “But I can’t make love to you tonight, Luc.”

His heart sank. He was so sure she was still in love with him. He had convinced himself that if they made love again, he could convince her to resume their relationship. They had a great thing going, and he wasn’t ready for it to end. He didn’t know if he ever would be ready to say good-bye to her. “This is because of him, isn’t it?”

She closed her eyes and stepped out of his arms. “No, this is because of you and me. We’ve been down this road before. I wasted my college years loving you while you jumped from one woman’s bed to another pretending I wasn’t even alive. When we finally got involved, I convinced myself that I could change you. I thought I could make you fall in love with me and only me.”

“It worked,” he whispered, taking a step toward her. “I am in love with you, only you.” He kissed her lips gently. “And it’s tearing me up inside to watch you fall in love with someone else.”

She sighed. “We can’t keep doing this to each other. You know what I want, and you can’t give it to me. I can’t spend the rest of my life trying to make you into someone you’re not.”

He rested his forehead against hers. “Don’t do this, Marisa. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing...”

She looked up at him. “Are you ever going to marry me?”

He closed his eyes. She was right, nothing had changed. She still wanted more than he would ever be able to give her.

“More importantly, are you ever going to want to be a daddy?”

The question pierced him. No one ever asked him the question quite like that before. Maybe if they had...

“Answer me,” she said, grabbing his shoulders.

“No,” he said quietly. “I wasn’t cut out to be a father. You know that, Marisa. I like my life exactly the way it is.”

She looked around at the posh furnishings, high ceilings, and custom draperies adorning his ten-thousand square-foot custom-built home. “You want to spend the rest of your life alone? You want to grow old in this empty mausoleum, listening to the echo of your own footsteps?”

When she put it like that, it made his future sound pretty bleak. “I want you. I want to be with you. Why can’t we just continue to see each other? It worked for two years. You were happy with me, weren’t you?” He suddenly felt desperate to convince her not to leave him. Their break up was difficult for him, but he learned to fill the void with his career, friends, parties, and women. Ever since she’d decided to move on with another man, the void in his life seemed to be expanding, and he felt like he was being sucked into this vast hole of emptiness that was threatening to consume him.

“I was happy because I thought we were building a life together, Luc. I thought I could convince you of how good it would be between us if you were willing to give us a chance. But I’m thirty years old. How long can I waste my life with a man who doesn’t want the same things I want?”

He wanted to tell her the truth, to explain the complex reasons he couldn’t give her what she needed from him, but he was too ashamed to admit to her that she’d fallen in love with his kind of man. His parents’ marriage breaking down was only part of the reason he couldn’t trust himself to make a commitment to anyone. There was so much more she didn’t know about him.

“You’re right,” he whispered, forcing the words past his lips. “I’m not the right man for you.” He stared at her, memorizing every sweet curve of her face, the exact shade of her eyes, the way her dark lashes dusted her cheeks when she blinked. He wanted to remember everything because he knew this was the last time they would be this close. “Do you love him, Marisa?” He hated to ask the question, feared the answer. But he knew if his worst fears were realized, it would give him the resolve to move on with his life without her.

She shrugged. “I don’t know. He’s a good man. I know he loves me.”

“Is that enough for you?” He didn’t want it to be enough. He didn’t want to watch her settle for less than she deserved. If he couldn’t have her, he wanted to know that the man she agreed to spend her life with would be able to give her everything he couldn’t.

“I don’t know.” She looked up at him. “Every time I’m with him, I find myself comparing him to you. I know it’s not right, but I can’t help myself.”

He knew the feeling. He’d been out with a few women since their break-up, and every one, no matter how beautiful, paled in comparison to Marisa. He took a deep breath. “This is crazy. You’re right. We can’t keep doing this to each other.”

She touched his cheek. “This really is good-bye, isn’t it?” A tear slid down her cheek. “The last time I left you in a fit of anger. This time we’re getting the closure we need to move on with our lives, right?”

He wanted to rally against her words. He didn’t want closure. He didn’t want this to end. He wanted her, needed her in his life. “I guess so.”

She traced her fingertip over his lower lip. “I hope you find a way to be happy, Luc.”

He drew her into his arms. He held her tight, burying his face in hair that smelled like sweet berries, a scent that would always remind him of her. “I love you,” he whispered in her ear. “I want you to be happy, sweetheart.”

She drew back to look at him. “I want the same for you.”

He closed his eyes. He couldn’t stand to look into her eyes and douse the hopeful spark that remained. “I think it’s time for you to leave.”

Chapter Three

Marisa fidgeted with the neckline of her turtleneck, trying to conceal the bruise left behind after her impetuous midnight encounter with Luc last night. He had almost convinced her it would be worth the sacrifice to be with him. Then the reality of what that would mean settled over her, and she had to admit to herself that she would never be satisfied with casual dinner dates and meaningless sex for the rest of her life. She needed more. She needed a man who couldn’t live without her. A man like Tim.

She smiled at her dinner companion, trying to focus on the conversation. Tim was talking about the never-ending chore of mending fences and the menial day-to-day chores of life on a ranch. But she knew he loved his life, in spite of his good-natured rumblings. He was a simple man with simple needs. He wanted a woman who understood what it meant to be a rancher’s wife, the highs and lows of being a slave to mother nature. He wanted a big family with lots of kids, just like his family: boisterous, affectionate, and fun-loving. She wanted those things too.

She loved her job as Trey’s stylist, the glamour and excitement, but her favorite place in the world was still her parents’ ranch, riding her beloved horse, Indigo.

“Hey, you okay?” he asked, reaching across the table to hold her hand. “You’ve been kind of quiet tonight.”

She glanced at the menu in front of her, not that she needed to be reminded of their options. She and Tim frequented his favorite steakhouse every Saturday night. He was a creature of habit. Solid and dependable, a man who could be counted on to be there when a friend or a neighbor was in trouble. She loved that about him, but he was so predictable she was afraid she may be bored to tears within their first year of marriage. Tim had no desire to venture outside of his little corner of the world. He was content with what he had. She wished she could say the same.

“I’m fine, just a little tired I guess. I stayed at the hospital pretty late last night.” She intended to tell Tim about her time with Luc. He deserved to know, but she would wait until later, when they were alone. Not that she expected him to make a scene. Tim wasn’t the kind of a man who would make a public spectacle of himself. That was Luc’s forte. His temper often outweighed common sense, and what others thought was of little consequence to him.

“How are mama and baby doing?”

“Great, I stopped by to see them earlier. It looks like Sierra will be able to come home tomorrow, but they’ll probably need to keep Alisa a little longer since she was seven weeks early.”

“Alisa? That’s a pretty name.”

She grinned. “They combined Alexis for Lexi and my name. Isn’t that sweet?”

He squeezed her hand and smiled. “Aren’t you just the proud auntie?”

She felt an unexpected wave of emotion wash over her. She blinked back the tears. “I know I’m being silly; I’m just so happy for them.”

He stroked her cheek. “So am I, honey.” He held her hands between both of his. “Can I assume you’re going to be little Alisa’s godmother?”

Marisa looked for the waiter, hoping he would choose this moment to interrupt. She knew this was the perfect opportunity to tell Tim about what happened last night; she might as well get it over with. “As a matter of fact, they were planning to ask Luc and me to do the honors, but he declined.”

Tim tensed up and withdrew his hands, clasping them on the table in front of him. “Why would he do that?”

“That’s what I wanted to know, so I went to see him when I left the hospital last night.” She held her breath, waiting for him to respond.

He stared at her in disbelief. “You went to his house in the middle of the night? You couldn’t have just picked up the phone?”

“I was furious with him. I wasn’t thinking clearly.” She adjusted her turtleneck, thinking this would be an inopportune time for Tim to spot the mark Luc left on her neck.

He sighed. “Did something happen between you two last night?”

She was expecting the question, but she wasn’t sure how to respond. Something had happened, but what didn’t happen seemed more relevant. “We didn’t sleep together, if that’s what you’re asking me.”

She tried not to sound defensive. She and Tim had never defined their relationship, and in spite of what Luc believed, they weren’t sleeping together.

He scowled. “But something did happen, I can tell.”

The waiter appeared, asking if they would have their usual.

Tim gave a curt nod and thrust the menus at him. He waited for him to leave. “Tell me what happened last night.”

She didn’t expect him to be so angry. Tim was usually so mild mannered. “I, we...”

“Just spit it out.”

“I won’t say nothing happened, but it wasn’t...” She reached across the table to cover his big, calloused hands with hers. She didn’t want to hurt him by giving him explicit details, but she didn’t want him to fill in the blanks and imagine the worst case scenario either. “Suffice it to say, it’s over with Luc.”

He looked at their joined hands before looking up at her. “You sure about that? ‘Cause I need to know if you’re not.”